Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tests, Proms, and the Great American Movie


The next day I went to my History class where I found actually three international students who needed me to share notes with them and I agreed I would make copies of all of my notes and get them to them on Friday. After I did some Plato I went down to the Rec Center and ran on the treadmill for an hour as I usually do. But before I left I found out more about the movie Killing Us Softly and that it took place in the Union Room 237 at 7:00 on February 28.
             The next day I went to ask Cassie down at the Einstein Brother's in the Rec Center if she wanted to go see that movie on the 28th. Unfortunately she said she couldn't because on that day she would be going to celebrate her friend's birthday. It was alright. The next day I worked on some more Plato and finished my homework for Learning Strategies.
The next Wednesday I realized something about my roommate Jack. He is a little naive even though he is a really nice person who I have known since I was nineteen and his is smart in many ways. He is a great artist and great at physical science. One time I got a presidential dollar of Ulysses S. Grant and I told Jack he was on my family tree and Jack said, "I guess you never knew him." Now when I asked him about his mom having cancer a few days ago, he said, "She'll be fine." That may or may not be true, but I knew Jack wasn't bluffing. Jack never bluffs. But I realized that Jack's naiveness is really probably a good thing in many ways. Before today Jack's mom also had cancer twice and maybe due to his naiveness Jack never felt worried be it so it didn't stress him in the way many autistic people can be scared by being left on a bus.
On Thursday Mrs. Carter said we wouldn't be having Learning Strategies class tomorrow so I decided I would sleep in that morning.  After that I saw Cassie in the Einstein Brother's at the Rec Center and said, "Oh and here's a tip for you." and I gave her a million dollar bill that I drew which had the Buddhist teaching on the back, "Wherever you are, you are your true person."  She thought it was great.  After that I went down to the library and made copies of my notes for the international students in my History class.


 

At Workplace and Community Skills class our teacher Jessica asked us to divide into two groups and each of us had to find out ten things we had in common. I was in a group with Hillary, Christine, Jack and Tyler. I realized This is probably also a good way to build a sense of community on other floors where people probably don't seem to have as much in common as they do on the THRIVE floor. My Valuing Differences teacher, Mr. Ciafello, always said, "Talk to people and you'll find out you probably have more in common with them then you thought."
That night I read that when you have cancer that you can survive it by healthy diet, exercise and frequent interactions with people. I thought If that's true, why don't doctors tell people that?! Is it more profitable to make them go through chemo?! Needless to say I felt angry but I remembered the principle of the Dhyani Buddha practices of Tibetan Buddhism, which I have a book on at home: turning anger into wisdom.
I slept in the next morning and when I went to my History class I gave copies of my notes to the three international students who needed them. After that I walked down to the library to return the book CivilWarLands in Bad Decline not because it was due that day but because I didn't think I would read it that much. On the way I thought about how a woman named Allison Tepper Singer made a video called Autism Everyday and when she went on The Oprah Winfrey Show she said when she found out her daughter had autism, she wanted to drive the car with her daughter into the Hudson River and the only reason she didn't do it was because her neurotypical daughter was waiting for her at home, in front of the daughter she claimed to have a desire to murder. She claimed that many parents of autistic children know exactly how she feels. Then I thought Don't we all think we feel this way about our family members when really we don't feel that way at all. 
I returned CivilWarLands in Bad Decline and worked on Plato for two and a half hours and finally finished Plato Reading. I ran on the treadmill more that night and I thought more about how we sometimes think we want to murder someone in our family sometimes when we really don't and realized that from a Buddhist perspective we don't have to because according to Buddha, we die and are reborn within our own life and so we don't ever have to murder someone in our family because that version of them we hate (if we really do) will already die. I also thought that even if some people may never accept autistic people for the way they are that, according to the Buddha, hatred will always bring defeat to those bearing it. The majority of people will have to accept us because if they don't, they may one day implode from failing to deal with their own inner demons.
I got back and talked to my Granddad. I told him a little bit about Jack's mom's struggle with cancer and he said that cancer survival usually has to do with frame of mind, which is good because Jack's mom usually has a great frame of mind. He also suggested that I go watch TV in the TV lounge sometimes.
When I got back I asked Kriti if I could go down to the Ward Building and get my laptop registered with the UCM wi-fi on weekends, since I haven't already, and she said yes. I heard Jack was going to St. Louis tomorrow with his parents to see his aunt, which ought to be good for his mom. Then I asked Jack if he wanted to watch Family Guy with me. I thought I probably will have seen whatever episode is on already, nut it would probably be fascinating to explore Family Guy (as well as many other things) from Jack's perspective.  

We ended up not watching it as the cable wasn't working. When I got down I told Jack to tell his mom Get well soon for me. Jack told me his mom has gotten better which is good so I told him, "Still it always helps when someone says to get well soon," and he said he would tell that to his mom. I realized Jack's mom, as well as his dad, has also had the blessings of getting to explore the world from Jack's point of view. Jack's naiveness truly is one of the blessings of autism for many people. I thought about how I used to find it strange how people would judge their friends and partners for things like their friends or certain things they do and how that always seemed odd to me because I hardly eve rod that. Having read that autistic people rarely tend to judge, I realized that tendency of mine is also one of the blessings of autism for many people. It's already been said that autism can be an asset to a job, rather than a hindrance (less likely to interrupt, good attention to detail), but now it seems it can also be a blessing in relationships and courtships and the like.
That night I also thought about how it would be helpful to find out things people on other floors have in common to build a sense of community. I was reminded of the boarding house in the show Hey Arnold which used to be on Nickelodeon and how it seemed to be a community even though the people were of different races, nationalities, religions and so on. And then I thought, Maybe our differences as well as our similarities, can bring a sense of community."
The next day I went into town and got some "coin-tainers," paper rolls to keep coins in which measures how much money is in there to make it easier to trade in change at the UCM bank. I also looked in town that day and found a store next to Hasting's Books was selling Lord of the Rings trading cards by Decipher, Inc. which I have been collecting for quite some time. I went in there and bought four packs and got several new cards.
The THRIVE formal, a dance for the THRIVE program would be held on March 9th in Room 237 in the Elliot Union. We would be allowed to invite students outside of THRIVE if we wished. The following Tuesday I found out about a writer's workshop at UCM that is for fiction, non-fiction, college papers and peer-review articles and realized that might be a good thing for me to go to.
After Workplace and Community Skills class I went over to the Ward Edwards building and found out how to register my laptop with the UCM wi-fi. All I had to do was type in my UCM username and password when I turn on my computer, click "trust networks," and type in my general username and password. All I needed to do was to remember my password for my computer.
Later I did some Plato.  That night I went to the Hong Kong Express and got some General Tso's chicken and an order of crab rangoon. When I got back I finished the chicken and the crab rangoon but I didn't feel that I could finish the rice all at once.  So I put it in my Buddha bowl and ate the rice from it the next day.
The next night several of us in the THRIVE program went to see the motivational speaker/comedian Stan Pearson. He talked about diversity through comedy and we found him really funny. That night unfortunately, a wooden yoyo I was carrying in my coat pocket, that I had since I was fifteen fell out either in my room or going to the Hendrix Hall or from going to the Hendrix Hall to the Rec Center that night. Over the next few days as I got homework for Workplace and Community Skills class done and talked to Mrs. Carter about more effective study strategies for my History class and made copies of my notes for the students in my class, I wrote some haiku and it lead me to be more aware of the Buddhist teaching on the nature of impermanence, which made me feel better.
That day I worked on Plato math and found out about books on screenwriting at the UCM library. The next day I went with Hillary from THRIVE and her boyfriend Philip to get free t-shirts that were being given out at the UCM basketball game. I didn't stay, not being a huge sports fan myself. That day I also worked on Plato and checked out two books on screenwriting: Understanding Screenwriting: Learning from Good, Not-Quite-So Good, and Bad Screenplays by Tom Stempel and The Soul of Screenwriting: On Writing, the Dramatic Truth, and Knowing Yourself. 
The next day my grandparents came to visit me. We went to the Asian restaurant that went to with them, my mom and Jamie last time and we shared some dumplings and I got spicy Mongolian beef, a large Budweiser and some sushi. We talked about how I could do better on my next History exam, which was this-coming Friday. My grandmom suggested I get the scantron which allows me to do an essay question since she thought I could do that part well and I agreed to talk to the mentors about where to find the right scantron. After that we went to McDonald's where they got ice cream cones and I got a frappe mocha. Then we looked in Hasting's Books and they even got me a book called Answers from the Heart: Practical Responses to Life's Questions. Before we left we sat in the car and they quizzed me a little bit from the questions in my History textbook.

That night I got back and found that I got the audio version of my History book that I requested from Dr. Mayfield. I listened to it the next day and after my History class got out a girl in the class came up to me and asked if I could make copies of last week's notes for her since she was absent at that time and I said I would. I went to my Creative Writing class where my facade story was workshopped and the class told me what was right with the story and suggestions for improvement. Aside from that I looked up some Buddhist themed films and found about a hundred. I looked them all up on the library and out of all of them I found Groundhog Day, Into the Wild, Dark City, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Spirited Away, It's a Wonderful Life, The Truman Show, Field of Dreams, The Gods Must Be Crazy I and II, The Last Mimzy, Seven Pounds, Stranger than Fiction, Darjeeling Unlimited, and Blade Runner. I realized it might be good to get some friends together and watch these movies. The one film I didn't bother to look up was The Last Samurai as I didn't think I could stand to see Tom Cruise in it.  
The next day I went to the UCM bookstore where I bought poster board for an assignment for my Learning Strategies class which was to use pictures to represent our professional, academic and personal goals that were cut out from magazines, printed off a computer or drawn ourselves. I also found the 886-E scantron to take my History exam on and bought that to.
For my upcoming History exam, Hillary's boyfriend Philip, who's an expert in history, quizzed me on the review questions in the chapters my class went over in class. The next day I just went into my class and did the best I could. 
Over the weekend my mom and my stepdad visited me and brought me a coat jacket, tie and loafers for the formal. We went to Oriental Cuisine again and ate dinner. After we got back I tried on my formal clothes.

The next Monday I got back my History exam and found I'd gotten a sixty-six. I passed Philip on the way to my Creative Writing class and he told me that it just takes time for your exam scores to improve. 
On Tuesday, Jack, Emily and I hung out at the Einstein Brother's in the Rec Center. I went on a "scavenger hunt" with Jack, Emily and Emily's boyfriend that night. We didn't win anything but it was nice to hang around and see each other. On the scavenger hunt, Jack, Emily, her boyfriend and I passed through the Lovinger Building and saw the Fencing Club meeting and I found out they meet on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
The next day I talked to Teresa, my Person Centered Planner about my screenwriting and I ended up deciding to take a half hour each day to work on my screenplays. When I got back, I typed a lot more of the outline for one of my screenplays. I decided to use my study hall time to read and look over my History book and that I am going to try and read it from 7-8 on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays because that's before I go down to the Rec Center and run on the treadmill, which promotes clarity of mind which should help me process the information better. And on Tuesdays I am going to study it from 6-7 before I go down to the Fencing Club meetings. That night I did a skills sheet online for my Workplace and Community Skills class and then found my top thirty jobs. The ones I liked most were Writer, Director or Producer, Music Composer, Director or Arranger, Animator and Other Multi-media Artists, Editor and Web Designer. I wrote a paragraph for that class on how well I think the top thirty jobs describes me and e-mailed it to Jessica, our teacher.
On Friday I went down and got my haircut, then came back and changed for the formal. I got my picture taken before I went down to the formal. Later that night I enjoyed going to the formal and danced with several girls from the sorority. I did breakdancing, ate some pizza and had a lot of fun.

Left to right: Dave, Daniel, Philip, and me

 
The next day I talked to Mom and she agreed that I needed a new phone because mine is old and out of pictures. That night while I was at dinner, I read The Soul of Screenwriting I learned about a psychological concept called the Procedure which the author of the book illustrated with a story about a man named Alphonse who falls in love with a woman named Esmeralda, even though he is already married to his wife Mary. Part of him wants to be with Esmeralda, who brings out something different in him, while the other part of him wants to stay with Mary, who he's been with for a long time. But Alphonse comes to learn that these two women both represent parts of himself that he is unaware of, and he doesn't need either of these women necessarily but to discover those parts of himself. That's when I thought that if two people have been together for so long, it must create a strong bond between them, rather than cause the relationship to lose its vitality.

That night I ran on the treadmill and saw the King of the Hill episode Talking Shop where Bobby takes peer counseling as an elective. He ends up dating one of his clients named Jenny but later makes Stacey, another one of his clients, feel special which causes her to leave her boyfriend and want to date Bobby. Jenna breaks up with Bobby and Stacey starts stalking him after she finds out he's not interested in her. In the end Hank helps resolve their differences by getting them to fix a car he found in the junkyard during which time the client asks him why he likes Jenna over her. Bobby answers her question and they resolve their tensions. I then realized how doing activities together is a good way to create friendly and open dialogue between two people whether they are friends, courtiers or love interests. From the Buddhist perspective I thought, Bobby and Stacey have already dated because according to Buddhist master Lama Chuck, every human, animal and insect has been our mother, father, brother, sister, (therefore boyfriend or girlfriend) in our past lives.
The next day I worked on Plato Math and wrote a dramatic monologue about a famous person for my Creative Writing class. I made it about a Nepali architect Arniko who built the Asian tower known as the pagoda and spread it to every nearly country in Asia. The next day I realized something important about writing. One of the challenges of screenwriting is being comfortable with uncertainty about what will happen to our character.  Yet since our characters are in some ways ourselves, it is hard because we all like to have certainty in our lives.

On Tuesday, I went to the first Fencing Club meeting, where I was taught to do footwork by a student named Keira. On Wednesday, during Learning Strategies class, Mrs. Carter told us to make a "map" of the information in the textbook which is supposed to help you visualize. That same day I went to my Creative Writing class and got back my paper on why we write. It turned out I had gotten an A!  My poem was workshopped. 
The next day I started making maps for the information in my History textbook. The next day, I went to my History class and found out that out of fourteen quizzes, our four lowest would be dropped. Then we took a quiz and I got five out of six.

On Monday I prepared for my next History exam. I reminded myself to be in the present by saying things like, “Looking over my notes, I am not trying to pass the exam.” Finally I went down to the Testing Center and took and took the exam. After Tuesdays Workplace and Community Skills class, I went down to the library to type a paper for that class which was on who we would like or roommate or next year to be, although Jessica, the teacher, said that nothing was certain. I wrote my paper and said I would prefer my roommate to be Jack. On Thursday, I bought several UCM folders and bookmarks with my THIVE points during Personal Math class. There was no Workplace and Community Skills class so I spent that time in the cafeteria typing a story for my Creative Writing class.



To the Motherland Again


Before I went to bed I packed up some books in a suitcase to take home. I packed all my Give Yourself Goosebumps books, This is a Book by Demetri Martin, Unlikely Friendships, The Teachings of the Buddha, my copy of the Taoist classic The Tao Te Ching, my book Celtic Inspirations: Essential Meditations and Texts, and my book The Light of Asia, a poetic narrative about the Buddha written by a nineteenth century author Edwin Arnold. I figured with only a few books at school my environment would be less distracting. I also learned from Jack that he too was going home this weekend and my Granddad would take us both home.
The next day I took my test for my Learning Strategies class. I got it done in only a few minutes and I thought I did pretty well. My History professor asked me to share notes with an international student and I agreed that I would. After class got out, my granddad came and picked both of us up. He took Jack home first and then he dropped me off. 
I got home and put away my books and helped my mom put my new mattresses on my bed in my new room. I brought a book down from my room called Haiku Mind: 108 Poems to Cultivate Awareness and Open the Heart, curled up on the couch and read a haiku about being at home. Since I was at home, I thought that haiku would be appropriate for a meditation. I watched some DVRed episodes of King of the Hill, American Dad and Family Guy that night as well as some live ones. 
The next day, I got a haircut, and then Mom and I went to the Winstead's in Kansas City before we went to the Nelson Art Gallery and saw the Asian art exhibit. We went by McGonigle's Meat Market and picked up some filet mignons for dinner and then she dropped me off at the Barnes and Noble in the plaza where I looked around for a while and then we went home. After dinner of filets and wine, we watched the movie 50/50, a comedy where Seth Rogen plays a guy whose friend has cancer. I had to admit it was pretty funny. I could not help but find Anna Kendricks, who played the young, inexperienced therapist in the movie, to be very attractive.
The next day Mom washed my jackets and I packed up. In addition to Haiku Mind I also packed one of my books called Zen Flesh, Zen Bones: a Collection of Zen and Pre-Zen Writings, which has a great collection of Zen stories and koans, paradoxical riddles to encourage followers of Zen not to think too hard about hinges they cannot know. I am looking for love, and have been for four years, and I thought Since love is a paradox, maybe reading some koans would help me understand it better. I also packed up a miniature figurine of a Buddhist saint named the Green Tara. Legend has it she was either a Nepali princess who was married to a powerful Tibetan king and through her marriage to him she and the king's Chinese wife (known as the White Tara) introduced Buddhism to Tibet. The Green Tara represents compassion and she holds a similar to position to the Virgin Mary in the Catholic faith (Now afterwards Buddhism was scourged from Tibet by Tibet's indigenous Bon followers but later reintroduced by a charismatic Buddhist monk from India named Padmasambhava).
Jack's mom brought him to our house. She seemed to look much worn out because of the chemotherapy. Otherwise I had not heard any news on her condition. Then we drove back to UCM and I got unpacked. I also added the statue of the Green Tara to my altar.
That night in the cafeteria I passed by Cassie, who had gotten her hair straighten again, and said hi to her. After that I went down to the Union to work on some Plato Reading. Before I left the Rec Center that night, I learned about a movie from a poster called Killing Us Softly sponsored by the Counseling Center of UCM. I thought Cassie might be interested in seeing that movie since she is a social work major and decided I'd ask her if she wanted to go see it.

Displaying the Sacred



I started playing a game on my phone called Tetris to try and ease my mind over things that have stressed me out. My highest score is 126,092, Level 13, 129 lines cleared. I wanted so much to beat that high score. However the further you get into this game the faster it goes. After beating my Tetris score from last night, I found I was a much better Tetris player when I put my Buddhist beliefs to practice: just taking things as they come.  
As I ate lunch another thought occurred to me as I remembered Julia Garcia showing how the word "impossible" contains the words "I'm possible." When you look at the word "unable" and you read the u, then the n, the able part, you notice it says, "You enable." While I still had not found a girlfriend at UCM, as I have so long hoped to, I also realized that the best way to flirt with a girl would be to try talking about herself.
When I was walking down to my Creative Writing class I ran into Cassie whose wavy strawberry blonde hair had been straightened and partially braided. We said hello and I told her, "Wow Cassie, your hair looks beautiful. Of course it already looked beautiful."
"Thank you," Cassie said and I couldn't help but notice she seemed to blush a little. 
I said, "And I love the braid." 
Cassie said, "I appreciate that," still seeming to blush.
I went down to my Creative Writing class where my poem was work shopped. The class as is their custom told me what was right with the poem and gave me some suggestions about how to improve it. After class I got some more note-taking paper to take notes in class.
The next day I looked up UCM student organizations and found the UCM Fencing Club which meets Mondays and Fridays in the Lovinger Gym at 7pm. Everyone is welcome, it said and all equipment would be provided. The next day Learning Strategies class got out early because Mrs. Carter got a call saying her husband was in the hospital because of an emergency. That night I went down to the Lovinger Gym but found it deserted. The next day I went to the library to work on some Plato Math and I got finished with my weekly planner when I got back. 
The next day I finished my study guide for the chapter we read in Learning Strategies. Then I read more of Relax, You're Already Home and read a chapter called Accept, Accept, Accept. After reading that chapter it occurred to me that I had to accept the fact that I could not do anything about Jack's mom's cancer and thinking about it would not help. 
That night I also realized that my Creative Writing class could also help me with my screenwriting. At first I honestly thought this class was not about the kind of writing I am mostly interested in, being about poetry and short story writing, while I'm mostly into screenwriting. But I thought Once we get into story writing it will be really interesting because many films are based off short stories. The movie The Adjustment Bureau was based off a short story called The Adjustment Team. I never saw that movie was another one of those movies where, I think Peter Griffin in Family Guy best described him as "a Boston-educated street crud." But never-the-less short stories can inspire films. They also are the basic units for novellas, stories that are made up of connected short stories.  That is basically what the show Avatar the Last Airbender was even though it was never made into a successful film. 
I also read a chapter called Displaying the Sacred in which it advised we keep an altar in our living space. That night I got out from under my bed a red velvet stool on which I placed a chime on the back. In front of it was a miniature bronze stupa my family got me one Christmas when I was in High School. Leaning against the stupa was a picture of the Dalai Lama, for all the virtues he represents, propped up by a green stone. Next to it was a Buddhist bowl that my grandparents had gotten me one Christmas when I was in Junior College. And in the front of the altar was a Celtic poem called Song of Amergin.