On the first day of the next week I drove to art class
getting ten more minutes of driving time and after art class I drove to
Einstein’s for lunch and the shoe store where I got some new shoes. We walked over to Barnes and Noble afterwards
and I got Woodcarving magazine’s Whittling and Time magazine’s The Rise of
Robots: How Smart Machines are Changing
Our Lives and learned that robots can help us explore the deep sea and while
robots may take some jobs, they will create new ones and save us money with robo
cops both meaning we’ll have more money in our budget and the government can no
longer use that as an excuse to discriminate against autistics. When I got home I made some beads from straws
and I practiced my flute for half an hour, and then took some pictures of some
of my mom’s flowers. Then I talked to my
granddad and he seemed to think that making autism legislation would help
autistic people and I talked to Tyler again and he said he was doing well and
he talked to Hillary and found out she was doing well.
The next day I
drove my mom to the glass recycling bin adding ten more minutes to my driving
time, the library where I got a Lonely Planet book on Rajasthan, Delhi, and
Agra, adding ten more minutes to my driving times, then to the post office where
I got a free periodical on stamp collecting, adding another ten minutes, then
home, adding another five minutes. I
worked on gluing my origami hearts made from receipts together, rode my bike
for an hour, and wrote some poems while I sipped some macchiato at the
Starbuck’s. As I got home I realized
that sacking involves space and can be a way to appreciate the hierarchy of
heaven, earth, and man. I took some more
pictures of my mom’s flowers then started working on turning beads into straws
and I realized that while some may think that providing autistic people the
right services would cost us money, it would also save us money that the
problems autistic people not having the right services costs.
I kept working on
my beads made from straws and then I got a text. It said, “Hi Ben. It’s Emily.”
I texted her back saying, “Hi how are you?” She said, “Good and you?” I said, “Good. What are you doing?” She said, “Just working. What are you doing?” I said, “Working, arts and crafts,
flute-playing, photography.” Then she
sent a text saying, “I like you Ben.”
I said, “Do you
mean friendwise or otherwise?” She said,
“Like I want you to be my bf or something you want at school but I wasn’t sure
if you wanted the same thing.” Suddenly I
just couldn’t think straight. Then I got
a text from Hillary saying, “Emily Webb wants to date you.” Afterwards she sent me a text saying, “I
think you should. David Stillman [THRIVE
student] thinks youd make a great couple.”
I still wasn’t
sure and I texted Emily saying I thought she was beautiful and I liked her
friendship but I didn’t want to rush into it and that maybe we should talk and
grow closer first. Then I talked to my
dad and told him I liked Emily but I wanted to keep my options open. He said, "Well Ben you’re getting ahead of
yourself. You should hit that bridge
when you come to it and it might not work out how you expected.”
I said, “So if I
want to date Emily, I should?”
“Yes.” He said.
Emily sent me a
text later saying, “I’m going to bed.” Then
I sent her a text saying, “Emily, screw taking it slowly. I think we should live for the moment and
date. I want to date you and if you
still want to date me tomorrow when I get off work, text me and let me
know.” The next day on the way to work I
realized like certain ikebana arrangements, the flowers may be far apart, but
like Emily and I, they can come together to make something beautiful. When I got back home I renewed my Lonely
Planet Mongolia book and I saw a text from Emily saying, “I want to date
you.” I said, “Me too.
We called each
other and talked. It felt very romantic
and I just felt so excited. I told her,
“I love you.”
She said, “I love you to.” She
also said that she would come down to UCM for Homecoming Weekend and sometimes
comes down to Kansas City to see family members.
I told my granddad
about Emily when he got to my house and he was very excited for me and said he
knew all along I’d find a relationship when I least expected it. He gave me the June 2013 issue of Smithsonian
and we went to Winstead’s. Granddad said
he was sure Emily was truly into me since a beautiful girl like her could
probably get her pick of guys. We went
to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Time magazine’s The 100 Most
Influential People Who Never Lived with characters like Homer Simpson on the
front cover, and a 2013 issue of Sacred Hoop magazine which had an article
about a pilgrimage to Kathmandu and Celtic and Tibetan spirituality. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the
Chakra meditation with the others and at the end I did the dedication of
merit. I thought someone who loves me
like Emily really was encouraging. I
felt that on the issue of autism, people might say we’ve come a long way, but I
feel we’ve only gone through the gates of Mt. Kilimanjaro National Park. We have yet to climb the mountain. My granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee
afterwards and I took a picture of my cookie and my expresso.
The next day I
drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving and I worked on my
painting. I drove back getting ten more
minutes of driving and then I called Emily.
I told her, “I love you.
She said, “I love
you to.”
I rode my bike for
about an hour then got back and glued some of my origami hearts together. Then after writing in my dream journal I
worked on a tree commemorating Emily’s and my relationship by covering
cardboard tubes with brown construction paper where I’d insert branches to hang
my origami hearts. I refilled my medication
and when I got it at Bruce Smith I got a new bottle cap from my drink which I
got for free due to a stocking and pricing error and being the first one to get
it. Then I got back and called Emily and
told her, “I love you.”
She said, “I love
you to.”
Before I went to
sleep that night I got a call from my mom asking me to come with her to Village
Presbyterian Church where she used to teach preschool for several years before
she retired this summer to show and tell the kids about some of my Lego
sets. The next day when I woke up I got
a call from Emily and I said, “I love you.”
She said, “I love
you to.”
That morning I
realized Emily and I being in a long-distance relationship would be good for
when my mom’s dad comes over because she wouldn’t have to worry about him
hitting on her. Then I went to Village
Church to tell the kids about Legos and brought a few of my sets. They all really enjoyed it. I drove home getting another ten minutes of
driving.
I went home and
made a bracelet made from Hershey’s nugget wrappers and I realized that Emily
had tilted her head in the photos I have of her which I’ve heard is a clear
sign that a girl likes a guy. My mom and
Dave left for Colorado that day and I ended up feeding the dogs. I went on a bike ride and took several
pictures of houses in my neighborhood, a tree that looked like a Japanese
floral arrangement which made me realize nature can be a really good source of
creativity, and of a dead squirrel which teaches the fact of death and
impermanence and I found several golf balls realizing I could use them to make
oriental stress balls and those things where several balls hang next to each
other on string and the one at the end hits the one next to it causing one at
the other end to move which demonstrates how like Emily and I, even though the
balls have several things in between them, their energy, like Emily’s and my
love, goes through them and impacts the ball at the end. I talked to Emily that night and I told her,
“I love you.
She said, “I love
you to.” I also learned she was born on
October 17, 1991 and she has no biological siblings. I also realized that she’s taught me so much
in only four days and she’s also shown other signs of interest around me in the
past like the way she was all giggly, and I like learning things about her.
The next day I
went to work and I got the schedule and found out I work on Wednesday from
7-3:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10. I
also got my paycheck and The Historical Collector’s Edition Civil Rights: The
50th Anniversary and The Media Source’s Drones: Are They Watching You. I learned that drones can save us money by
replacing real cops and that made it seem like we should have the money to
provide services for autistic people. I
also realized that sending Emily a list I found on-line a while ago on activities
for long-distance couples would be a great way to consult her on our
relationship.
The next day I went to Bruce Smith and picked up a prescription and
bought a new wooden yo-yo which worked better than any I’d bought in the last
year. I got a picture of some flowers
hanging on our door and helped Jamie and Dave move some stuff into the new
studio in our basement and practiced the Sleeper yo-yo while I waited for them
to be ready to move things. I rode my
bike for about an hour and I took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood
along my way. I got home and practiced
my flute. I also talked to Tyler who
said he talked to Mary and she said she thinks Emily and I would make a great
couple.
The next Monday I drove with my mom to the library
where I returned my Lonely Planet China book, getting ten more minutes of
driving time, and to Whole Foods and back getting forty more minutes of
driving. During the day, Emily and I
texted each other back and forth. I
showed her the rose and made her and she liked it. I also told her I was making her something,
though I didn’t tell her what it was and she said, “Youre such a sweet heart
Ben.” I also called her during which I
told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”
We started texting afterwards. She asked what I was doing and I said I was
sitting on the couch with a blanket and a Bud Lite. Then she told me she wished she was there and
I told her I did to. She asked me what
we would do and I said we could sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie, while
I cook a meal and we could cuddle on the couch and I could kiss her until the
night dies. She said, “Aww,” then asked,
“Would I get a hug?” Then I said, “Of
course. Like I said I could hug you for
hours doing nothing else.”
The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took
some pictures including some of some flowers which reminded me of Emily. I bought some lemonade at a lemonade sale
where I saw my old friend from high school Curtis Wells and we said hi and
chatted a little. Then I went down to
the bank and deposited my pay check and then went to Bruce Smith and bought a
2013 edition of Magbook which was about close-up photos on a digital camera and
the August/September 2013 issue of Afar.
When I got back Emily asked me if I’d like to cuddle her and I said I’d
love to. She also said she’d love to lie
on me while I hug her from behind.
She asked me if I wanted to be with her for a long
time and I said I’d love to be with her as long as possible, maybe even forever
and that I’d love to hug her from behind and kiss her lips and neck. She said, “Youre so sweet Ben.” I told her when we’re texting I sometimes
find it hard to find something to say and that I do that because when I talk to
her my mind just races and I can’t think straight and I realized if we really
learn to communicate, our relationship can always been exciting. Then we called during which I told her, “I
love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”
After that we decided to just text each other. I said I was sitting on the couch like I
would if we were cuddling like we talked about.
She said, “Aww.” Then I said I
would give a lot to cuddle her and she said, “Aww.” I also said, “I love you,” and she said, “I
love you too."
The next day I went to work and I realized I could dye
some cotton balls yellow with food coloring to help me make my straw flowers
and I bought some food coloring and cotton balls after work. I took several pictures on the way home and I
worked on my present for Emily. We
texted before I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I got a picture of
some birds on top of a dumpster then to Barnes and Noble. While I was there I saw a man begging and
thought about how so many people became homeless when Ronald Reagan cut funding
for mental hospitals, proving that budget cuts are not good for our
economy. Then we went to the Pathless
Land and I took a picture of some flowers by the basement door.
I showed several people at the Pathless Land a picture
of Emily and they thought she was really cute.
I meditated with them sitting, breathing, and being, then scanning my
Chakras and suddenly I could just see Emily in my mind’s eye very vividly. I thought the Chakra meditation could help me
have lucid dreams where I saw Emily.
Then I heard a woman there who talked about her complicated relationship
with her deceased mother say she realized her mother loved her when she found
all the letters she wrote to her mother saved and I realized that’s what I try
to do with Emily’s and my texts. I also
did the dedication of merit for the Pathless Land.
After class was over I realized how much Emily seemed
to care about me like when I lost my yo-yo during my first year at UCM, that
she may have hung around and went on vacation with Jack because she wanted to
find out things about me from Jack, and when she once asked for my help on a
Transition Planning II assignment she may have really been trying to hang
around me. My granddad and I decided to
skip going to Roasterie Coffee so I could talk to Emily and she asked me where
I would kiss her. I said I’d love to
kiss her lips and mix it up and kiss her face and around her neck and
shoulders. She asked me if she could
touch me and I said yes. I realized she
would never just date me because she’s bored because she’s a very good
friend. I also called Tyler and we
agreed to swim with Jack tomorrow at my house from 1:30 to 6.
The next day I drove Jack and I to art class getting
twenty more minutes of driving and worked on a painting. I took some pictures of some flowers and
plants in the studio then drove Jack and I back to my house getting twenty more
minutes of driving and we met up with Tyler.
We made lunch and then we swam.
Afterwards we watched TV and talked to Emily on the phone. She had to call back later because she needed
to do something but before we hung up she said, “I love you,” and I said, “I
love you to.”
She called back and when we were done I said to her,
“I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”
After Jack and Tyler left Emily and I texted back and forth. I told her, “Youre my Southern delight,” and
she said, “Aww.” I realized if we were
to communicate better then all I have to do is just say whatever it is I’m
thinking. Then Emily asked if I thought
she was pretty and I said, “Of course. I
think youre gorgeous.” She said, “Thank
you,” and I said I love her blonde hair and could run my fingers through it
while I cuddle her.
I called her and found out her mom would be driving
her to UCM on the way to Kansas City and she asked me if I wanted her to come
on Friday or Saturday and I said Friday so we could spend as much time together
as possible. Before we hung up, I said,
“I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”
She texted me later asking me if I would sit next to her at the game and
hold her hand and I said, “Of course.”
Then she asked me if she would get a kiss and I said, “Of course. I love you.”
I thought Emily seems to say, “Aww,” a lot, just as I say, “Of
course.” Suddenly at will I could just
see Emily very vividly standing next to me like in a lucid dream.
The next morning before I went to bed I realized that
a long distance relationship has some advantages like not having to worry what
you look like and I took a test on-line called “Is Your Long-distance
Relationship Rocking or in the Rocks” and I found out it was rocking. I bookmarked the results and then I went to
sleep. I took several pictures in my
backyard including one of the gravestone of my old dog Beau as reflection of
our own mortality and I went on a bike ride taking several more pictures. Later I sorted my beads made from straws by
color and size to help me make some more Buddhist malas. I called work and found out I work on Sunday
from 7-3:30, Wednesday from 7-3:30, Thursday from 10-6:30, and Saturday from
1:30-10. I also packed to go to my
dad’s. I went to his house and we ate
dinner at Maui’s. I also took a quiz on
Emily’s and my long distance relationship and found out our’s is in a good
place and I read an article on the keys to a successful long-distance relationship
and found out Emily and I have all those things.
I went to work the next day and I realized that Emily and I being a
long-distance couple spares us the need to balance me time with we time. She started looking more beautiful in my eyes
and I realized that if we had more services for autism, less couples with an
autistic spouse would end up getting divorced and we wouldn’t have to spend the
money we do on legal procedures. After
work I got another issue of Bicycle magazine.
The next day before I went to bed I realized that Ronald Reagan’s budget
cuts were probably just to help pay for the Cold War so he could use the
Soviets as a scapegoat. I went to work
later that day and I got home and texted Emily back and forth.
Before I went to bed the next morning I thought the
Cold War really only allowed the Soviets to stay in power by making themselves
look like to their citizens that they were protecting them from a big enemy
like the United States. After work that
day Emily and I did some more texting back and forth. I told her, “Youre really beautiful
Emily.” She said, “Thank you.” Then I said, “Of course. Youre sweet and I love you.” She said, “Aww.”
I guess sometimes worrying about a relationship
lasting can just take the enjoyment away from it. I took some more pictures and then Jamie,
Cam, my dad, and I went to Sweet Tomatoes with my grandparents. When I got back I realized that Reagan may
have just been against the Soviet turning the Third World communist so
capitalist countries would no longer be able to use them for cheap labor. I also thought about how people always said
Emily is very talkative but I remembered how when she was around me and when we
talk on the phone, she seems much different.
It was almost as tough she was shyer around me.
The next week I drove to my doctor’s appointment,
getting twenty more minutes of driving, and got my blood drawn. When I got back, Emily and I texted each
other back and forth a little more. I
also found out I got a C in Essential Managing Information and Geology though I
got all fours on my internship evaluation and some great comments. I drove to the bank and to Dr. May’s office
to do some paperwork, getting another twenty minutes of driving, and saw an old
high school friend who I agreed to get in touch with on Facebook. I drove to Village Pediatrics afterwards and
turned in a form. I learned their how
forms can often take so much time to process sowing me part of why American
bureaucracy makes it so hard for many people with autism to get the services
they need. Then I drove us to Corinth
Square where we went to a bird store, Hen House, and the Hardware Store. I drove back getting ten more minutes of
driving.
When I got back Emily and I texted each other back and
forth. I told her, “I love you Emily,”
though she didn’t get it because she had to go to dinner. Then I got a call from Hen House asking if I
could trade my 10-6:30 shift on Thursday for her shift tomorrow from 1:30-10
and I agreed. Emily texted me after
dinner around nine and I told her I would text back in five minutes before Dave
asked Jamie, Cam, and I to move some iron-wrought tables and chairs back into
our neighbor’s backyard. I finished this
task in five minutes time by moving the table on my own while Jamie and cam
took two chairs. When I got back though,
Emily texted me saying she was going to bed.
The next day Emily and I texted each other back and
forth after I got up. I told her again,
“Youre really beautiful Emily.” She
said, “Aww Thank you.” I said, “No
problem. I love you.” She said, “Love you to.”
I told her, “I can’t wait to see you again.” She said, “Me too.” I said, “I’d love to cuddle you then.” She said, “We will.” She asked if I wanted to talk on the phone
and I told her to give me twenty minutes so I could get dressed and take a
shower. After that I called her though
she said she had to get back to work because her lunch break just ended. I told her I would call her during my lunch
break. I washed my work clothes before
going to work.
During my first break I called UCM Housing and told
them I couldn’t find out about my housing situation. They told me I had to go to my MyCentral
account and disable the pop-ups. I thought
some more about wildlife-watching, knowing there’s a wildlife group and UCM,
thinking that could really help autistic people since animals don’t judge you
by whether you’re autistic, neurotypical, ADD, or whatever. Soon my lunch break came and I called Emily
but she wasn’t there so I just enjoyed the rest of my lunch break to myself. After work I got a Fall 2013 issue of Do It
Yourself magazine.
I went to work the next day and I filled out a request
form for my doctor’s appointment next Monday.
After work I took pictures of some trees, inspired by the baobob trees
in my Lonely Planet Madagascar book and I worked on my flowers made from
straws. I texted Emily back and forth
and I went to my dad’s. Emily told me to
say hi to Jamie and my dad for her and I did.
Then we went to Five Guy’s where I brought the rose I made for Emily in
my pocket and when I got back Emily and I kept texting each other back and
forth. I told her, “I love you
Emily.” She said, “I love you to.” I told her, “I cant believe its been two
weeks since we started dating.” She
said, “Aww.” I told her, “Im glad we met
each other.” She said, “Me too.” Then I said, “I love texting you. Its like Im earing your voice in the same
room.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Your such a beautiful girl
Emily.” She said, “Thank you Youre such
a handsome guy.” I said, “Thank you,”
and she said, “Your welcome.”
As I was getting ready to go back to my mom’s however,
I noticed the rose wasn’t in my pocket.
I asked my dad for the keys to his car and noticed they weren’t in
there. I realized it must have fallen
out at the restaurant and felt crushed.
But then I thought it was alright because Emily always cared about me
when I was upset like this and someone else might find it, thinking about how
the Buddha once said, a candle can light a thousand candles without it’s flame
being extinguished. Happiness and love
do not become smaller by sharing them with others. I got home and made another rose for
Emily. We said goodnight to each other
before she went to bed and I realized more how in each one of her texts she
sounds just like herself.
The next morning I dreamt that the friend I saw at Dr.
May’s office and his girlfriend were on a double date with Emily and I. After waking up, doing my meditation,
showering, dressing, and eating, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes
of driving. This time I got most of my
canvas blocked in and I took some pictures of some knick-knacks at the
studio. After I got home I rode my bike
for about fifteen minutes and took pictures of some things I saw on the
ride. I came back because it looked like
it was about to start raining and I texted Emily, thinking it would be romantic
to text her in the rain, though she accidentally sent me a wrong text. Later that night I realized some more of how
I could arrange my ikebana flowers so they look great.
The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took
several more pictures. I realized that
hanging origami hearts from a stick is kind of like ikebana since the hearts
are kind of like buds. I went to the
bank and deposited my last paycheck. On
the way back I took even more pictures.
I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Tuesday from
3-10, and Thursday from 10-6:30. I also
called Erin and we agreed to get together on Friday.
I went to work the next day and found out Phil added
me to the schedule for Saturday from 11-7:30.
I texted Emily during my break though she didn’t text back. I did however remember this article on girls
with autism and how even if they like a guy, they might not necessarily respond
to their attempts to stay in touch and thought that could be true for her
to. I thought if we provided the right
services for people with autism, they might be less likely to use drugs and
abuse alcohol and we wouldn’t need to spend so much money locking them up for
that. I saw Jack and his dad come in
later and it was a nice surprise and I realized this must be what surprising a
long-distance partner feels like. After
work I realized I could use those stencils from my Scythian metal-working kit
to make foil statues and I took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance
relationship and got an 18.0 out of 20.0.
The next day I went to work and realized that if
people think integrated education would mean their abled child wouldn’t get
enough attention, ten it would seem odd that they could be in favor of budget
cuts in education which are causing class sizes to be much larger. To me, I realized, it doesn’t matter whether
Emily isn’t someone with autism or not because my world is beyond labels. After work I took some more pictures of
things like flowers and trees and I thought Emily’s pone might be too full to
receive any more texts and while she and I might like doing different things
but I guess the reason we both do our things is because we both want to relax
like how I read in Relax, You’re Already Home: Taoist Habits for a Richer Life
says to find activities in your life that help you relax. I also heard Mary broke up with Tyler which I
guess was because she’s so focused on going back to school.
