Saturday, October 20, 2012

A Difficult Month Transpires

On the first day back I saw Cassie at Einstein’s and we talked about Jack’s mother. She looked really sad for me and told me to give Jack her regards. Later that day I heard that Jack’s mother had died. Emily came into my room and told me about it. She teared up on my bed and I put my arm around her. Afterwards I e-mailed Cassie to tell her the news. I told my mom, dad, and grandmom (my granddad was away) about it and they offered their condolences to me and told me to pass them along to Jack.
                That night I did my Public Speaking homework. I also found a way to arrange my Ethernet cord so it doesn’t look weird. I simply put it behind Tyler’s TV and under his and my bed. 
The next day I went to a meeting for my internship with two Muleskinner editors, the one I met with last year, and a red-headed girl Ellen Becker. I learned that assignments were given on Mondays and Tuesdays and due the next Monday. She told me she would love for me to do an introductory piece for this month and I agreed and gave her my contacts and everything. The next day I found out the funeral for Jack’s mother would be at 1:00 on Saturday the 22nd at Central Presbyterian church. That night I started on my introductory piece. I also chose three events on my life for the body of my speech: starting the JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group, coming to THRIVE, and writing for the Muleskinner for my internship.
                On Friday I thought back to the time when my friend Elizabeth suffered the loss of her father in a lawn mowing accident. I found out from her on the phone just as I was in my art class. Hanging around my neck had been a pendant showing an elephant-headed Hindu god Ganesh, who symbolizes to many Hindus the notion of impermanence shared by Buddhists and Hindus alike. I had gotten it from my uncle Todd a year ago as a birthday present, which he had gotten in a shop Little Nepal in Boulder, Colorado. Seeing it every now and then soothed me so much.
I wrote a Thank You note to Phil for allowing me to work so many hours over the summer, and to my grandmom for the fifty dollar check she sent me for my birthday. Jack came back to school. I hugged him saying, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Jack seemed to be almost completely unaware that anything had happened. I talked to my granddad who reminded me of the griever’s phase one, denial, and realized Jack’s false peace couldn’t last too long.
                That weekend, after eating at Crazy Dog’s, I went down to Hasting’s and found to great books: Creating Comics a book on comic book author’s process for creating their works, and a Simpson’s comic book Bart Simpson’s Pal Milhouse, and bought them both. I got back and worked on finding a quote for my speech in my Public Speaking class. I found a quote that goes, “Let the beauty of what you love be the things you do," by a thirteenth century Persian poet Jelalluddin Rumi
That night I read my Simpson’s comic book which started with Milhouse having trouble keeping hold on his “imagination” but then ended up stopping an armed robbery. I was inspired by the message as I have the ability to imagine things.
               
On Monday I submitted my introductory piece and on Wednesday gave my speech in front of the class for Public Speaking and I thought it went pretty well. Another student said in a speech, “You may think things are well now, but trouble is just around the corner.”
I did my homework for my Transition Planning class in the Union computer lab. Unfortunately I lost my flash drive in there. It wasn’t in the computer I left it in, or my pockets, or at the front desk. 
              The next day I got an e-mail from Mrs. Fahrmeier complimenting me on my article in the Muleskinner. As I left the library I saw a collection of musical instruments including several ethnic ones, which interested me as I collect ethnic musical instruments. I got to the cafeteria and Esther, the woman who works at the check-in congratulated me on my article. I saw a copy of the newspaper sitting on her desk.
                On Saturday I went to the library and found several good Lonely Planet books. I checked out one on India, West Africa, Kenya, Tanzania, and Australia. As I ran on the treadmill, I also decided to get a new haircut to give me a new attitude on live. Plus, it would look nice at Jack’s mom’s funeral. The next day I went to the shopping square yet ProCuts, where I had gotten my haircut for the formal last year, was closed on Sundays. I did however have a nice time looking in Hasting’s Books. I saw an issue of Sufi magazine, a magazine devoted to the study of spirituality in art, literature, philosophy and practice, which had an article called Silence, the Breath is Precious. I was always told at the Pathless Land that “we are the silence.” I knew that in Buddhism, the breath reminds us of the fact that we are all alive, and silence I thought, must allow us to observe our breath. I bought a copy of that magazine and walked back to my dorm. On my way I remembered how Jack’s father had not been eating around the time of his wife’s terminal diagnosis. Then I remembered my Buddhist belief that all human beings are doing what they are doing, right or wrong, in pursuit of happiness, whether they be Jack’s father not eating or suburban kids doing acid. I felt kind of inspired at that to tell the truth because if we’re all doing something to find happiness, then deep down, no matter what is going on, we believe it’s possible.
                When I got back to the dorm I continued making friendship bracelets that I had planned to make and sell last year to raise money for the THRIVE program. Later I thought back to how I said in my speech that doing the things I loved had led me to greater success. Then I thought maybe doing what I love in other areas, like bird-watching, going on beaches, seeing rock art and ruins, sailing a dhow in Kenya and Tanzania, friendship bracelet making, flute-playing, and coin collecting, ethnic musical instrument collecting, smashed penny collecting, bottle cap collecting, stamp collecting, Snapple cap collecting, and Simpsons comic book collecting could also lead me to greater success. After that I did my homework for my Transition Planning class. Then I went to the library and checked out two movies that were listed on dharmaflix.net: Dark City and Mists of Avalon. Unfortunately that night I didn’t have my night time medication. On an unrelated note, I thought of the quote the student in my Public Speaking class said, “You may think things are good now, but trouble is just around the corner.”
               
The next day I went to ProCuts and got my haircut. The day after that, after I got back from my Screenwriting class, I took a nap. I talked to Mom on the phone and she said she would come get me and Emily on Saturday between 11:15 and 11:30 and that my medicine should come tomorrow. The next day I got back the grade for my speech which was an 85%. Our next project would be a social justice topic and we were given a list of examples. I got my medicine in the mail after my class got out then I took a nap. I was glad I had this problem with my medicine however because I was worried about that quote I heard in my Public Speaking class about trouble always being around the corner because now that I had this problem, I knew that when there is trouble, I can deal with it.
I thought about my next speech for my Public Speaking class and thought about doing the “Asia Spring” (the Asian equivalent of the Arab Spring). I talked to Teresa in my Person Centered Planning and she told me that one asset to doing it is that so few people know about it. I decided I’d do it. That night I also worked on a bracelet to sell and raise money for the THRIVE program.
The next day I realized that the Asia Spring was important to me as an artist and writer because of free speech and free expression involved in it. The day after that at 8:10 in the morning, us THRIVE students were required to go to Jessica’s office and then walk with her to the Board of Governor’s meeting during which there would be a presentation on the THRIVE program. I stayed there until about 8:50 and then walked to my Public Speaking class. During class, we got into groups and talked about how to relate our topic to our audience. I realized that internet censorship is relevant to college students as a college is a place for the exchange of ideas, which the internet spreads. I also realized that the possible security crisis in many of the countries affected by the Asia Spring is relevant to UCM students because many of these countries are where students study abroad.
When I got out of class I found I got some mail which included my last paycheck to deposit in my UCM account and my new state ID. I also did some rearranging of my room. First I used that brush my grandmom gave me and the bucket from the popcorn bucket Tyler gave me to sweep of my desk. Next I picked up that sticker I had lying around from my desk from last year saying, “Am I too sexy” and put it on my drawer. I also recycled the program for the Convocation.
The next day Mom came and picked up Emily and I for Jack’s mother’s funeral. Sheldon came with us too. He lent me a shirt for the funeral and Oscar and Logan from THRIVE told me they sent their thoughts and prayers with Jack. 
We got to the funeral an hour later it seemed. Dr. Mayfield, Mrs. Fahrmeier, Alex Place and his mother, and Taylor and Tyler were present. Donna, my art teacher, was also there.
After the funeral I shook Jack’s dad’s hand and told him, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I also told him that Oscar and Logan from THRIVE send their thoughts and prayers and Cassie sent her regards. I told the same thing to Jack and got Dr. Mayfield, Mrs. Fahrmeier, and all the THRIVE students with Jack to take our picture. I said the things I said to Jack to several of Mrs. Ditch’s friends and to her sister.
My mom, Emily, Sheldon, and I got home and I used that time to pack up my piggy bank, bird binoculars, watercolor supplies, a closet bookshelf Mom got me, my Harry Potter stones, and some of the pennies, nickels, and dimes in my collection. I also saw that one of the bookshelves Mom got me had been painted and had the nails taken out of it. Afterwards, Graham drove us back to UCM.

The next day I finished another friendship bracelet and started finishing a new one. I also got the plastic case the shelf Mom gave me came in and some snack wrappers and I started gluing them on it making a purse for Mom which I would give her for her birthday. That day Alex asked me to watch the movie Clue with him. I said sure and did my treadmill exercise an hour earlier so I could get back in time to watch the movie with him. At the Rec Center I found pamphlets on various things affecting people I know: Grief and Loss (Jack), Overcoming Procrastination (Cassie and often myself), and ADD and ADHD (Emily and myself, though I had adapted to it well). While I was on the treadmill I also found three stores that sell Bongo Comics (publishing company that makes Simpsons comic books) in Kansas City. Then I came back and we watched the movie together.
The next day in my Public Speaking class we had a speaker come. This speaker, a blonde female student, was from the American Democracy Project which got young people to vote. She talked about how young people rarely vote so politicians seem to talk more about issues concerning older people, such as social security and she gave us who were from outside of Missouri absentee voting forms. I also realized that I could say for my Social Justice presentation that helping people in the Third World feels could because I’ve known what it’s like doing it myself having volunteered at a fair trade retailer in Overland Park called Ten Thousand Villages.
That day I learned from my Lonely Planet book on Tanzania about the Festival of the Dhow Countries or the Zanzibar Film Festival based in Zanzibar, Tanzania, which showed films from all over the Indian Ocean nations. I also realized I could probably find more Simpsons comic books at Barnes and Noble in Kansas City. After class I got a hole-puncher in the Union bookstore and I came back and started making bookmarks from our Tyler’s and my thrown away toilet paper rolls, which I would decorate with some drawing and hopefully sell to raise money for the THRIVE program. I also realized as I wrote in my meditation journal that I didn’t feel so tired after I did my meditation. Unfortunately I realized I didn’t have my backpack but I told Nathan and he said I could give him my point sheet tomorrow.  
That night Tyler also shared some French Onion sun chips with me as we watched TV and when we were done I took the bag and used it as part of the material to make a purse for my Mom for her birthday (which was a couple of weeks ago) along with the plastic wrapper the closet bookshelf came in. I went upstairs and got some snacks, Doritos and Butterfingers, and found a beetle lying on the ground where it could be easily stepped on.  Out of Buddhist respect for all life, I picked it up and took it outside. I later used the wrappers my snacks came in for my mom’s present as well. 
The next morning I found my backpack at the Union front desk after realizing I’d left it at the bookstore. Then I went to my Screenwriting class and the teacher gave everything in class this month’s issue of American Cinematographer. Later that day I went down into town and bought some more embroidery floss to make friendship bracelets to maybe raise money for the THRIVE program as I had started a year ago. I bought some more glue at the Union, as I had run out making my mom’s purse, and that night I watched Escape from Witch Mountain with Tyler.
The next day, Julie, a very short THRIVE student with Down Syndrome who graduated last year came to visit us. I said hello and learned she now lived in her own apartment and worked for her dad at a hospital. I sat down with her and several other THRIVE students in the cafeteria and we ate dinner. The next day I went to the UCM Talent show and the next day I finished studying for my Public Speaking exam, which was the next day.

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