A Tempting Offer

 

I awoke on a Wednesday morning and saw Luis, who I met at the waffle event, sent me a text inviting me to his fraternity party, and I agreed to go. I got an e-mail from the Office of Student Activities, saying they couldn’t book a room in the Union for the time I requested, but asked if we could meet somewhere else. I told them we could. I also realized I didn’t have a textbook with a DVD I was supposed to have for my Film Appreciation class. Later I went to the fraternity party for Tau Kappa Epsilon, and saw Luis, Ryan, and Chris, and met several Noah, Alex, Grant, Sean, and some other TKE members. I talked to my dad, who said he would pay me back for the book, and then made twelve more straws into beads and worked on my pendant lamp. 

During my Early American Literature class, I realized I didn’t have my book with me to write response papers, which our instructor asked for a full page of notebook paper’s worth, something I thought we would type up outside of class, and only managed to get a little more than half a page from borrowing the textbook of my classmate sitting next to me. After my World Archaeology class, I went to the bookstore and got the DVD I needed for my Film Appreciation class. Then I got the e-mail that next week’s meeting for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group would be in Wood 216, where North American Indian class was and my World Archaeology class is held.

As I got back to my room, a tall Asian student approached me.

“You Ben?” he asked in somewhat fluent English, smiling.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Ok. I saw you last night at the party. I was thinking we could be roommates because I want to learn about American culture.”

“Ok. What was your name again?”

“Jai. J-A-I.”

“Ok. Yeah, well I’ll see you again tonight."

Connor came into our room later and said, “Ben, I’m going to move into the room next door cause it’s bigger and Aaron is going to be my new roommate, but there’s a guy from South Korea who said he would be your new roommate and he seems like a pretty cool guy.”

“Alright,” I said, relieved that I had now talked it over with Connor.

I went to the party again that night and saw Jai, accompanied with another South Korean student. Jai said, “Ben, this is Sinho. He will be your new roommate.”

“Ok,” I said slightly confused.

“I will come over tomorrow to see your room,” he said, sounding more inquisitive than declarative.

“Ok, "I said. “Would three o’ clock work for you?”

“Three?” he said.

“Sure, three.”

“Aw, ok.” He put his index finger to his thumb in understanding.

The next morning, I had lunch with Jai, who I saw in the dining hall. Then I worked some more on my handbag made from snack wrappers and read the reading for my Film Appreciation class. I went to do my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa post in the Lovinger Building, where I got a new presidential dollar from putting a dollar bill in the machine and ejecting it. I posted my post for my modern Sub-Saharan Africa class, and then started my first response post for that class during which time I realized Africa may have such a problem with HIV/AIDS because when malaria victims get blood transfusions, hospitals don’t have the equipment to test blood donors for HIV/AIDS, and that orphans many children and as a result they can’t go to school or get health care and don’t know how to protect themselves against these diseases. I also realized that I am studying film, literature, and things to do with different societies and cultures at UCM, all of which I want to do with my career. Later Sinho came over and I showed him my room and the dining hall, and we got the paperwork filled out. Then I showed him around the Ellis dining hall.

Afterwards I turned twelve more straws into beads, and then went to Those Were the Days to get some more embroidery floss for my yarn paintings. 
             I went to the TKE party afterwards, sitting with Jai and Sinho in the charter room. Noah came up and talked to us, during which time Jai and Sinho revealed that they had been given “bids” and were now planning to join the organization.

“Are you guys ready for the next eight weeks?” Noah asked relishing in those words.

“Why?” Jai asked.

“For the next eight weeks, you have to do whatever they say before you can become a member.”

I saw one of the students I met gather up all the bags used for their food. I asked, “Do you need those bags?” He threw them in my direction, and I caught them. I ate dinner and met two more South Korean students, who knew Jai and Sinho, Ryan and Kim, or rather those were the names they went by. Kim said to me, “I think you will enjoy being roommates with Sinho. He is a very nice, just as you are also very nice."

Later Sean came up to me and said, “Ben, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” I said. I followed him into a room, where the student who had tossed me those bags, was sitting on a bed, looking solemnly at me. He said, “Ben, we’ve gotten to know you over the past few days, and we think you’re a really cool guy, and that TEK could help you wish your goals, and we think you would be a good person to represent our organization.” He handed me an envelope. 
             “You have forty-eight hours to decide, in which you just need to contact one of our members.”

“Wow,” I said, just struggling for words. “Thanks,” I said, half-audibly.

I went back into the lounge area and opened the envelope. There was a note with the TKE shield, saying:

Since our founding in 1899, more than 250,000 men have been initiated into our brotherhood.  Based on your personal worth and character, the men of Tau Kappa Epsilon do hereby extend an invitation for you to join our Fraternity.

Better Men for a Better World.

Suddenly I had a vivid sensation all throughout my body. Two decades of autistic suffering, of bullies and abusive teachers from elementary school; autism organizations who got undeserved hype while paying more to their executives than educational and developmental research for autism at the expense of good autism organizations; therapists in my early young adult years who implied I would never thrive at a traditional four year college, or that any love interest I had would never return my feelings, were all things I could shove back at them: I had been invited to a national fraternity!

I still was not sure though if I should join. I had all my school work in addition to the group. I talked to my granddad, and he said, “You have forty-eight hours to decide.” I finished my Gandhi yarn painting, except for the frame, trying to clear my mind of the question. I went to bed dreaming of author Lemony Snicket walking up to and hugging a woman who he always referred to as “my darling Beatrice.” The next morning, I read more of Anthills of the Savanah and took out my recycling to the courtyard where I found several more pebbles for my collection. I got back to my dorm and worked on my coasters made from Styrofoam and a scrapbook cover made from a chips bag. I also watched Two Cars, One Night for my Film Appreciation class, where two young indigenous children, a boy and girl developed an affection for each other, and took some good notes on it for my post on the film. I went on Facebook and saw my grandmom had liked one of my autism posts. I shared several great posts from the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, Autistic Women’s Empowerment, and the Autism Support Network one of which being about a woman married to an autistic man and I commented with the post saying that for many autistic people, it is scary to be with someone who might not understand our condition so close up, and I used to be one of them, and dating is either like a mine field or a cage, and we can only hope that when we come around we can only hope that the mines which were really treasure chests will still be around for us. I saw in my mailbox that I had gotten my Christmas present from my Uncle Andy and Aunt Marge: a $25 Amazon gift card. I worked on another self for toilet paper roll dioramas and my handbag. I also turned twenty-two more straws into beads.

The next day I sorted some recycling during which time I found an interesting sea shell for my collection (which I no longer take from beaches for environmental purposes) in the courtyard. Later I helped two of the Korean students moving into Ellis move in by letting them keep their stuff in my room for a little while during which time one of them complimented my toilet paper roll dioramas and even asked me if I carved the wooden Buddha figurine. Later I finished my posts for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Soon after that I did all the posts and responses for my Film Appreciation class. Later I went to Crazy Dog’s taking several great pictures of the campus and picking up and recycling several bottles and cans along the way, got a new Snapple cap from my drink, and learned more of how to make shopping bags from plastic bags. Then I called Luis and told him I wouldn’t have the time to join TKE between my classes and starting some projects to help the UCM community but I felt honored and that it was very sincere and meant a lot to me that they would consider me a potential member and make me so welcomed among them and I looked forward to doing anything with the guys in the future.

Later I went to Crazy Dog’s taking several great pictures of the campus and picking up and recycling several bottles and cans along the way and got a new Snapple cap from my drink. Then I worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam. Later I prepared my PowerPoint presentation for the luncheon tomorrow during and also learned the organization called the Dan Marino Foundation has raised over $47 million dollars for autism services. Once I finished that I thought I would give a portion of my ethnic musical instrument collection to JCCC as well as a portion of it to UCM and my collection of art from around the world to Horizon Academy, and my bottle cap signs to the Pathless Land. I got back and I made another flower and twenty more straws into beads.  I also looked at my Buddha figurine and thought, Maybe someday I will be able to carve something like that. 

The next morning, I had breakfast with Jai and Kim before I went to the Psychology Club/Psi Chi joint meeting. When it was my time, I got up and gave my presentation to all the students, of which Ryan, a guy from my hall was one of. At the end of it everyone clapped, and one student said he would be interested in being a peer mentor. After the meeting was over, I felt relieved and went back to my dorm and worked on my handbag and coasters. I found two more pebbles for my collection and found some wooden planks I could carve in the dumpster and brought them to my room while I took out my trash and recycling. Then I read the reading for my Early American Literature class. After that I decided to carve those planks I found into figures, one of them of the Buddha, and another of Merlin and started drawing the design for that while I ate dinner with Mary, who I learned still has that handbag I made which Tyler gave her, Anna, and Tasha.

I made myself a coaster from the plates at the luncheon and it looked really great. I read more of Anthills of the Savanah while I ran, and it was really interesting. I had Late Night with Jai and Kim. Then I showed my dad pictures of my Gandhi yarn painting and my coaster, and he loved them. After that I talked to Tyler while I turned ten more straws into beads, and I realized that my JCCC group, as well as my interview with Chris Hernandez, which may have led some people to it, may have helped autism groups that don’t give their share go under the radar, and felt really proud, realizing that like Teresa said, I do deserve to be loved, and felt no fear of asking a girl out when the time is right. 

The next morning, I realized that saying to a person with Asperger syndrome that he or she can’t speak for a non-verbal autistic (but neurotypical people can) is basically saying that because they’re autistic they can’t speak for non-verbal people. I read an article called Thirty-five Pictures That Prove the World isn't Such a Bad Place and was inspired by that to leave an umbrella out in my yard when I have a house for stray dogs and cats to go under when it rains, and I realized I do things worthy of those pictures when I sort the recycling or the way I was a friend to Tyler. I went to my Early American Literature class where I got back my last writing assignment which to my relief, I saw had a check. As I got back to my dorm, I decided to make my red, white, and blue straws into flowers rather than beads, as flowers take less time to make. Then I worked on one of my lampshades made from straws, and made about thirty more flowers, using the excess straw for beads, and worked some more on my handbag made from snack wrappers. After that I ate dinner with Brian, Mary, and Jade from THRIVE, before going to the Anthropology Club meeting, and I heard Laci was going to be presenting at an Anthropology convention in Bloomington, Illinois this April. I got a free book Introducing Cultural Anthropology with a cover showing Kazakh hawkers, which I thought would make a great wood burning. When I got back, I realized that making wall art like the ones made from paper from toilet paper rolls saves trees, by replacing paper requiring trees to be cut down. Then I worked on that lampshade made from straws, my coasters made from paper plates. Afterwards I read more of Anthills of the Savanah while running on the treadmill. I went to Late Night where I read a section in my new book about applied anthropology, and how it had been used to help reforest Haiti. I got back and I worked on sawing apart that long plank during which time I realized my saw wasn’t wide enough to cut it, so I would have to look at the hardware store. I also made ten more beads from straws.

The next morning, I realized it’s wrong to say that a person with Asperger syndrome couldn’t speak for an autistic person with high support needs seeing how I can speak so well for Tyler. After I woke up, I read some more of Anthills of the Savanah and took a break to work on my handbag. 

I went to the room where the meeting was supposed to take place, where I saw Tom waiting outside, only to hear on an e-mail sent to me yesterday that it was changed to room 306, only the janitor thought we were meeting in room 305, thinking we were the ABC Club and when I told him who we were he said we were supposed to meet in room 216.

“Sorry, Tom,” I said.

“That’s ok,” he told me.

 After that I sent an e-mail to Laura Scot from the Office of Student Activities about it asking that they look into the matter and the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group members and the prospective peer mentors apologizing for any inconvenience they may have faced. I knew I would have to have patience, like the Buddhist saint Padmasambhava did when spreading Buddhism to Tibet, making him such a saintly man, and wondered if that wasn’t why we have the term “patience of a saint.”

I read some more of the reading for my Early American Literature class when I got back and on the treadmill. Later on, I made about thirty more flowers from straws and turned ten more straws into beads.

The next day I sat with Anna, Mary (Oscar’s girlfriend), and Oscar at breakfast. After that I read the reading for my Early American Literature class. After that class I saw Grant from TKE. We said hi to each other and he told me that some time I ought to come and visit the TKE house. After my World Archaeology class bought some gorilla glue for my snack wrapper collages, and returned my library copy of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.

I got an idea for more of how to make my plastic bag mandala from the Warrensburg bags, and to make one with a smiley face, representing the way smiling can transform how you feel, a yellow circle around it, representing the Great Eastern Sun, white Walmart bags, representing the Vajra sky and the Buddhist metaphor for watching your thoughts like clouds, a tree, representing the Buddha as he was portrayed in early Theravada Buddhism, as well as the Bodhi tree, and the hierarchy of Heaven, Earth, and Man, and Target targets around the tree, sun, and edges. I worked on that and my mandala made from Warrensburg bags, as well as my snack wrapper collages of Maja Toudal and Thomas Jefferson with my new gorilla glue, and my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam, and then ate dinner with Sinho and Jai. I went to the Rec Center with them and ran on the treadmill for about half an hour, during which time I realized that if thirty-three states have voted to have autism health coverage, then they may also vote for senators who will help pass it. 

The next morning, I worked on my snack wrapper collages some more and read more of Anthills of the Savanah. Then I sorted a lot of recycling during which time I found two more pebbles for my collection. After that I worked on my coaster made from paper plates and Styrofoam some more.  I also remembered my “Unable/You enable” mantra. I got a text from Hillary and learned David Mahon from THRIVE was visiting, so I went down to see him, and we got caught up on each other’s lives. I later worked on my pencil cups made from Pringles cans, and saw an e-mail from Dr. Mayfield, thanking me for handling the confusion so well on Wednesday, where a meeting taking longer than she expected stopped her from being able to come. Later Sinho asked me if I wanted to move to Foster/Knox apartments, which he said was cheaper and bigger. Since he seemed like he really wanted to, I said yes, but thought I would really be lonely outside of Ellis, but perhaps if I had the sort of person Teresa asked me to love, that might be different. At the end of the day, I talked to my dad and told him how Grant asked me to visit the TKE house.

“So those guys took it ok?” he asked.

“Yeah. I guess they have their own lives to worry about. They seemed to understand. I’ve got a big thing I have to start in addition to my school work. But it’s ok because I have the autistic students at UCM to serve. They are my brothers, and sisters.”