A Difficult Decision

On the first day of February, before I went to bed, I read a lot of the reading for my Film Appreciation class.  When I woke up the next morning, I decided after setting and resetting my alarm for a new time to wake up, to stop doing all that, figuring that if I got more sleep, I might have the energy to do more during the day.  I read the readings from the other textbook for my Film Appreciation class after breakfast.  Also the thought occurred to me that if my student group gets some peer mentors, they should attract more students in general to join.  Soon after that I became faced with the realization that my computer, an old one that use to belong to Dave, did not have sound and every attempt I made to change that had not worked, but I needed a way to play movies on my computer for my Film Appreciation class.

Luckily, Sinho, after trying several different approaches and looking perfectly confident about what he did, solved the problem for me.  Thanking him profusely, I felt a great sense of relief.  Afterwards I ate lunch with Sinho and Jai, and then went down to the Rec Center with them, much earlier than my usual time.  I spend part of the time reading Anthills of the Savanah, and when I got back I worked some more on my lampshade made from straws, as well as another flower made from straws.  I talked to my mom about how Sinho and I planned to move to Foster/Knox and she said “You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Well, “I’ve already filled out the paper work.”

Later, when I needed a way to access a movie for my class, and the library was closed, I talked to my grandparents and they let me use their Netflix account so I could watch them.  I ended up watching from a list of classic movies Grapes of Wrath, about a family’s migration to the western United States for work during the Dust Bowl.  I took several good notes on it thinking they would help me write my paper, and then made ten more straws into beads.  I also thought of using my Altoids boxes to make dioramas of scenes in history where people demonstrated the true human bravery that Chogyam Trungpa called warriorship.

The next morning I read a lot of the reading for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class before watching Spongebob in the dining hall.  Later Tyler called and after talking to him for a while, of which he kept needing to tell me something, I let him know I needed to go as I had a lot of work for the day.  After that I did some work on my handbag made from snack wrappers before Sinho and I tried to go check out our new apartment in Foster/Knox.  On our way, Sinho offered to hold my hand to stop me from falling on the ice, and when I slipped and fell walking up a hill, Sinho offered to help me up, though I got up alright on my own, while thanking him for his offer.   We got there only to find that the front desk there had closed.  As we walked back, Sinho apologized for the mistake, but I told him it was no problem.  Later I did the paper on Grapes of Wrath for my Film Appreciation class.  I also found another bottle cap for my collection in my bag of bottle caps I planned to repurpose.  While I was wrapping my Ethernet cord up, Sinho showed me a new way to do it by holding one end in my hand and wrapping the cord around my hand and elbow, which turned out to save a lot of time and energy.  I then turned twenty more straws into beads before taking out my trash and recycling.  When I got back, I realized how nice it felt to me to hear Sinho and Jai talking in their native tongue, and then helped Sinho edit a paper he was working on to make sure it followed the rules of English grammar.

The next morning as I lay awake in bed, thinking of what needs to be done for the autistic community to find a smoother road to proper services, I realized that before Gandhi, one women, Lady Godiva from the Middle Ages, seemed to be a precursor to Gandhi in using non-violent resistance, which involved her protesting her husband the king’s high taxes of peasants by riding naked out into the streets.  Whether it worked or not, I do not know.  During lunchtime time (or rather brunch for me), I ate with Chris and Luis from Tau Kappa Epsilon.  I took that time to thank them personally for inviting me to join their group, even though current commitments stopped me from doing so.  Chris said, “Yeah, no problem.”

When I got back and started cleaning out my UCM e-mail account, I saw an old e-mail November from Barbara about the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, who she forwarded me an e-mail they sent her asking if they could advertise on UCM campus.  She asked me if I knew anything about them and I looked on their website in the process of e-mailing it to her, and I saw that one of its pages showed Philanthropedia magazine listing them on the Top 10 Nationwide Disability Organizations, which sent to link for to Barbara saying I thought they were a very reputable group and certainly worthy of advertising on campus.  I realized at that point that she really valued my opinion on autism issues and thought that if she needed to stop letting any one of those autism organizations that weren’t so worthy of advertising on campus from doing so, and did not know how to tell them, I would be happy to tell them myself if that would work out. 

                I read more of the reading for my Early American Literature class.  Then I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal. After that I read some more of the reading for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class during which time I learned that the Africans started pushing towards their independence because of cities, which brought various ethnic groups together and helped forge a sense of national identity, education for the would-be elites, which brought various ethnic groups together, mutual aid societies and social networks, much like the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group, and Mahatma Gandhi’s success.  I also got the idea to make my friend Erin for her Christmas present an Altoids tin diorama of Tauriel with her bow and arrow with the other side saying the quote, “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”  After that I read more of the reading for my Early American Literature class. 

                I went with Sinho later on and we filled out the paper work to move into Foster/Knox with Sinho.  The woman at the desk, a short black woman with a friendly round face said, “The sooner you move out, the more money you save.”  We signed some papers and learned that after we signed, we learned that after this was signed, we had forty-eight hours to move out of Ellis. 

After that I got some quarters at the Union.  After that I sorted some recycling.  I got back and I told Laura Scott that I would be happy to have the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group outside the Union.  Then I ate with Philip, Mardy, and Jeremiah from the Dining Hall.  Mardy talked about us being roommates together even though we probably wouldn’t be living in Foster/Knox.  I told them about my new roommate and how we planned to move there this semester.  Philip told me he did not envy us living there, saying the fire alarm goes off five times each morning, and that it actually was not cheaper at all.  In addition, the building would be getting more freshmen, who were incredibly noisy, at least as much as they were in Ellis, and there were now CA’s living there to help keep the halls under control, though there were no social activities that you had in the dorm. 

                After that I worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers.  Then I ran on the treadmill for about an hour during which time I realized that Joan of Arc, El Cid, and Barbarossa may be examples of warriors, as may Genghis Khan, for although he conquered, he also brought justice to lands that did not have it before, and that Age of Empires Wikia would be a great place to find out about warriors for the subjects of my Altoids tin dioramas.  I got back and talked to Granddad, who said that UCM has less students that JCCC so that’s why it might be taking more time for the UCM group to get going.  Then I talked to Dad and Mom, the latter of whom was impressed by ASAN’s place among the list of top 10 disability organizations.  I went to Late Night and had a root beer and a pretzel.  Then I did some laundry while I sorted some recycling.  I then hung out with Maria, Antwon, and another UCM student in Maria’s room.  After I went back I turned ten more straws into beads.  While I wrote in my meditation journal, Jai shared with my some delicious Korean food he made, and I who was normally very picky about carrots and vegetables, didn’t find these things bothersome at all.  I also thought that a bright side of living in Foster/Know would be that because there was probably less restrictions on alcohol, I might be able to find more bottle caps for my collection while sorting some recycling.

                Classes were cancelled the next day due to the snow.  I spent my time off working on a drawing of Joan of Arc from a picture on-line, which would be the model for my Altoids box diorama.  Then I rewashed my sheets which I had forgotten to wash last night.  Later I sorted some more recycling.  Then I worked on my panda bear sculpture made from foil.  I also told Laura Scott that I’d probably have to cancel the meeting tomorrow.  I later looked on my Facebook account and saw Barbara and one of my old friends from JCCC liked one of my links which said that the people who discovered the two main forms of autism, Asperger and Kanner syndrome, really studied the same thing, but that advent of World War II prevented this from being discovered, and that Asperger and Kanner syndrome did not in fact have any reliable differences.

                Later I saw that I had my red yarn from Colorado at UCM and could make malas with it now.  Then I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal.  Later I played a game called Juko with Sinho and several of his Korean friends, which is played over a net moving the ball only with one’s head or feet, and I started getting the hang of it.  After that I worked on a shopping bag woven from Walmart bags.  Later I had a snowball fight with Robert, Casey, Megan, Adrian, and another girl from Ellis.  I had dinner with several THRIVE students and volunteers, including Brian and Autrey.  I got back and worked on my shopping bag some more and my mandalas made from Walmart bags.  I worked on my handbag while running on the treadmill and hung out with Maria, Megan, Casey, Antwon, and another girl from Ellis when I got back.  Then I turned ten more straws into beads.  Sinho also explained to me that they play Juko in South Korea, as opposed to soccer, due to the lack of open spaces.  I still was not sure I wanted to move to Foster/Knox.

                Class was cancelled again the next morning, not that it mattered to me as I had no in-class classes that day.  Sinho came to me after I woke up and said, “Ben, I am not sure I do want to move to Foster/Knox, so I need to take some time and think deeply about it.”

                A rush of hope swept through me, and I said “Ok.”

  The snow had stopped us from moving that day, so we would have to move the next day if it did not stop housing offices from being opened.  I had lunch with Zachary, Ryan, and another guy from TKE that invited me to join the group and I thanked them all for inviting me, explaining why I wasn’t able to join and the guy who had invited me said it was no problem, that he knows people have their own lives, and I was welcome to come to their house anytime I wanted.  After that I made three more malas from straws.  Then I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal, after which I felt a renewed love of repurposing.  Then I went down to the Rec Center with Maria, Antwon, Megan, Casey, Ro, and several others from our hall and played volleyball.  After that I did some archery with Megan who said she thought archery made her look brave and that’s why she choose to do it and I realized that archery making one look brave might be why the Shambhala Buddhist community does it as it helps one discover the human’s “natural dignity” and it helps you to be more aware of the space around you.  Then I wrote my paper for my World Archaeology class, during which time I realized archery helps you be more diligent, or as Chogyam Trungpa said, “overcome aggression.”  I had dinner with Maria, Antwon, and Casey, the latter two of whom Maria said liked me, which made me see what Granddad meant about how people value my friendship. 

                I still had some trouble with the way Jai showed me how to wrap up my Ethernet cord, but he showed me the right way and I mastered it.  Then I sorted some recycling.  After that I worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam and my mandalas made from plastic bags.  I worked on my shopping bag while I did my running.  I talked to my granddad later that night and told him I still was not sure if I could ask a girl out, but he told me he knew I would do the right thing, just as I had always done.  Later I sorted some recycling and worked more on my bag woven from Walmart bags, my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam, and my mandala made from plastic bags.  Sinho also came to me while I was sitting at my desk and said “Ben, I’ve thought about it, and I decided I want to move to Foster/Knox.”

                “Ok.” I said. 

                I felt if I moved I would miss a lot of my friends who lived here in Ellis, but then I thought, when I find the right girl, perhaps she could counterbalance that feeling, not to mention the fact that I did not know what dorm or apartment building she would be living in.  I could also get everyone’s phone number and ask them to let me know whenever they’re doing something together. 

                I packed a lot for moving to Foster/Knox during which time I found three twenty-five dollar Barnes and Noble gift cards, before going to bed, realizing my recyclables meant I had a lot to carry.  I got an e-mail saying the due date for my World Archaeology paper was pushed to next Tuesday because of the snow and decided to use those days to try and improve it.  We did have class that day, and during that time our research paper for my Early American Literature class, which I hadn’t even started on, was pushed back to the next class day, giving us five more days to do it.  After my World Archaeology class, I saw Laci as I was walking by to get a drink, saying “Hi, how are you?”

                “Good,” she said smiling.  “How are you?”

                “Good.”

                I heard Laci and Dr. Yelton talk about her presentation and heard Yelton mention the Anthropology Club.  I asked Yelton if we had any meetings coming up, and he said he hadn’t put anything out yet, while Laci watched us, fidgeting with her hair.  After that I packed up several more things in my dorm, realizing I would miss the place, but after I got to the housing office at Foster/Knox, got my key from a friendly woman at the desk and saw the number of Asian students who could make Sinho feel at home, the lack of recyclables in the trash cans, perhaps because fewer freshmen lived there, meaning that maybe sorting the recycling wouldn’t distract me from my school work, and other activities, and how spacious and comfortable our apartment was, I had a different feeling about moving here.  Then Sinho came in and said, “Ben, I talked to Jai, and he convinced me that I should not move to Foster/Knox, but stay in Ellis because there is more social opportunity, but I wanted to make sure that was ok with you.”

                Relief spread over my body and I said, “Sure.” 

                Sinho apologized for the fact that I had already moved so much of my stuff and volunteered to carry half of it back to Ellis.  We went to the housing office and learned we could cancel our reservation if we wanted to, and we said we did.  The woman gave us the form saying, “You know you guys could save a lot of money.”

I realized that maybe I belong in a dorm where immature freshman throw away their recyclables, because there I can make the biggest difference.  That night I went to Diversity Cupcake Night on my hall, where Maria gave us all cupcakes where we put two green frosting lines on our cupcake if we considered our self a male, and three if we considered our self a female, a red check if we were from the Midwest, and a red x if we were not, a green dot if we considered ourselves passive in a crisis, two circles if we considered ourselves assertive, and three if we considered ourselves aggressive, for with I put two circles, white chocolate balls for each goal we’d accomplished, for which I put three for going to college, starting a group, and starting a blog, and green balls for each sibling, stepsibling, and half-sibling we had.  Later I worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers on the treadmill, having also made another mala from straws, then I hung out with Maria, Antwon, Casey, Kelly, Adrian, and another guy from Ellis before we went to McDonald’s where I took two bottles out of the trash to recycle, then to an Alpha Sigma Alpha sorority party, where I saw several of the guys from TKE, found another bottle cap for my collection, and on my way back carried back twelve or thirteen cans from the trash and floor under my arms, in my sweater pocket, and in my McDonald’s cup to recycle in the bin in Ellis, finding another bottle along the way.