Questions and Answers

On the day after we got back from Colorado, I pulled some weeds and the mowed the lawn.  Then I went to Starbuck’s and read (reread) where I left off in Water Touching Stone.  I also e-mailed Elizabeth to ask her if she could give me a ride to the Camp Encourage panel in Lawrence.  Dave’s brother-in-law Kent came to see us who he was staying with while in town for his Skills USA, and we all had dinner.  I was also asked over Facebook by Elise Johnson Chaplain from Horizon to answer some questions on Buddhism for a class she’s teaching for her MSW, which was due on Friday, which I gladly agreed to do.  I also got a call from Jack inviting me to see Shakespeare in the Park on Saturday, which I agreed to do.  In a week we would also be going to New Hampshire to see my mom’s family, and I would get up on Friday to catch a plane at 4:50.

                The next day I got an e-mail from Elizabeth saying she was rather swamped but telling me that she could come pick me up on Wednesday morning and take me to camp to volunteer with her at camp that day, then to stay at an apartment of a friend of hers, where we would sleep on couches, go to camp and volunteer the next morning before the panel, and afterwards go to her Bible study in Lawrence before going back to the apartment, and going home the next morning.  I of course agreed and e-mailed Mrs. Johnson to tell her I would need the questions by today or tomorrow to do them in time.  The next morning I pulled several acorn trees and later I went to Starbuck’s.  Later I answered the questions on Buddhism for Mrs. Chaplain and e-mailed them to her.  I also talked to Tyler.

                The next morning Elizabeth picked me up and told me one of her favorite shows Switched at Birth took place in Mission Hills.  I went with Elizabeth to pick up her friend Angela, who I met and found to be very nice, as Elizabeth said.  We went to Camp Encourage, where I helped a few kids from one group of campers make stress balls, and then another group with making slime.  Then I switched to helping the next group of kids make stress balls and then slime.  During that time I got to meet Kelly, who was in charge of the camp as well as a young blonde counselor Cassidy.  After the last group of kids had left, Elizabeth, Angela, and I cleaned up the mess.  Afterwards we all ate dinner together and then we went to the LLC Room where we sat in a circle, accompanied by two interactive musicians and kids played with maracas, tambourines, and percussion instruments and we sang Red by Taylor Swift, Baby by Justin Bieber, God Bless My Underwear, and Baby Shark.  Afterwards I had smores with several campers where I saw Matt who worked with Sean and I at the JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group and who I got caught up on my recent activity.  Afterwards, a small camper, no more than ten years old, came to me “Do you have autism?”

              “Yes.”  I said.

“What do you do about your autism?”

“Well I’ve had help when I was younger and it helps me live my life.”

“Do you still have autism?”

             “Yes.”  I said.

“What will happen when I grow up?”

“Well, when I was younger I found the right supports and that helped me navigate in my life.”

“Are you ever gonna get married?”

“I hope so.”  I said.

He asked me these questions some again, and I gave him the same answer.  Then told me that when he grew up he wanted to teach kids with severe autism, and as Angela and I cleaned up the instruments and a counselor beckoned him to leave, he said, “Nice to meet you.”  Elizabeth and I then dropped Angela off back at her house and then we got a bite to eat at Shake and Steak where I insisted on paying for her meal to reimburse her for her gas money, and after making my case several times, she accepted that.  We got back and we saw Switched at Birth.

The next day we got breakfast and then helped set up the tie-dye work station, where I helped one kid make a tie-dye t-shirt, then dyed one for another kid who was allergic to dye, and then helped the next two groups.  Later Elizabeth and I got together outside the LLC room before the panel and found a young man sitting on one of the couches.

“Hi, I’m Nathan.”  He said.

                Elizabeth and I introduced ourselves and then at 2:30 we went in and I anxiously readied myself for the panel.  Finally, the first group, accompanied by Kelly and a young dark-haired neurotypical girl came in.  After being asked, “how do I define autism,” I was asked, “What has been the biggest challenge in your life?”

                I said, “Even though I have the social skills to have successful interaction with people, whenever I meet people, friends, romantic interests, I often wonder if they will be mature enough to understand what I’ve been through, what I’ve had to do, and how I’ve had to grow up at an early age because of my life with autism.”

                At this Kelly was in tears and the young counselor teared up as well.  As the next group came in, I told them about how people in my life have not always been able to truly understand myself as an autistic person or my struggle and I said, “One girl, who once* had a romantic interest in me seemed to try and show she was just like me by saying on Twitter how she loved getting movies on Netflix.  I’m thinking ‘that’s not an autistic thing!’  You can’t even get your stereotypes right!”

                Everyone laughed.

                The next group came in and I told them, “Sometimes I would like a girl while not knowing how she felt about me, and therapists would say, ‘you just don’t understand non-verbal social cues,’ and that was a real oversimplification of it.  Several kids nodded in agreement and said, “I know just what you mean,” and, “I’ve had the same thing happen to me.”  Afterwards one girl at the camp said to me, “Thank you!”

The next group came in and I told them how when I was in school, despite being segregated in a special classroom, I felt that there was no help for me in school until my last days of sixth grade.  Afterwards, a woman approached me, saying she was a special education teacher, and asked how I felt there could have been more help for me.  I told her it would have been good if my school had better methods for behavioral correction, more ways for me to be a part of my school, and had helped me as I had bullies.

                After the last panel, the kid I had met last night came up to me and asked for my contacts so I could talk to him outside of camp, and I gave him my home and cell number and e-mail address.  Elizabeth and I went to dinner and a young kid greeted me from behind.  When he was out of earshot, Elizabeth whispered to me, “I think you’ve got a new admirer.”

                As Elizabeth and I were about to go to her Bible study, I said goodbye to Kelly and she thanked me for coming, saying I was so inspiring to the kids and would love for me to come back as a board member of the camp or a counselor to help see that things were going right.  I thanked Erin for letting us use her apartment and said goodbye to her.  I said goodbye to Cassidy and went up to the young kid who I talked to the last night and said goodbye to him and wished him luck on and gave him and vote of confidence for teaching children with severe autism.  Elizabeth and I then went to her Bible study and I met several friends of hers including Joey, Lydia, and Bethany.  We discussed a book called the story of Bethany, and it was quite illuminating.  Joey eventually said, “People are saying that we can’t help the people who are coming to this country because of limited resources and that it’s a political issue.  I think, no, it’s a Jesus issue.  I feel if Jesus was alive today, he would have fed these people.

                Afterwards we walked down to a Mexican restaurant, during which I learned Joey was graduating KU with a degree in Latin American studies, and later planned to work in Mexico.  At the restaurant, where I ordered a beer and a churro, after I found out they were out of fried ice cream, I told Joey about Lonely Planet, how it’s authors research hotels, sights, and restaurants there, and how he might enjoy that if he’s going down to Mexico, as many of its authors do that in junction with other work, such as one author who did a chapter on Mauritania while down there to research the accidental shooting of the president.  He liked that idea and as we were about to walk back to the church, he gave me his phone to send me a friend request through his Facebook page.  As we got to Elizabeth’s car, I suggested we come there other nights and she thought that was a good idea.  We got back to the apartment and watched more Switched at Birth before falling asleep.  We stopped by the McDonald’s drive-through and I paid for the two of us again to reimburse her for her gas money.  Afterwards I went to work and the next day Jack, his dad and I went to Shakespeare in the Park, where I got a Shakespeare Festival 2014 A Winter’s Tale button for my donation.  We sat in lawn chairs, enjoying beers, wings, ribs, baguette, and cheese, and for three tickets, one dollar per ticket, I enjoyed a fried Snicker’s bar, while we watched A Winter’s Tale.  Afterwards Jack’s dad asked me if I wanted to see this bench in the park erected in honor of Jack’s mom and I told him certainly.  We saw it before he drove me home and I got what little sleep I could before I would wake up for the airport the next morning.

*Stay tuned.  A link will soon be available to a transcript of my interview on my other blog www.autistdharma.com.