Sunday, June 30, 2013

New Life at Home


After graduation day I spent the first part of the morning going down to La Provence with my mom, Dave, my grandmom, and Cam, doing a little unpacking, and refilling my medication prescriptions. Then I rode my bike, went down to Starbuck’s, and filled out a UCM Housing application. I wrote a haiku about missing Cassie but also feeling happy for her and I called work and found out I work on Saturday from 9-5:30. At dinner I got a UCM hoodie from Mom and Dave as a graduation present. I also talked to my granddad and he and I both agreed that even though I would miss Cassie, some new Cassie-like figure may soon be awaiting me who would drive out that void maybe at the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.
The next day my grandmom and I removed several of my books, ethnic musical instrument collection and other belongings off my old bookshelf and into Jamie’s room temporarily so I could move them onto the new bookshelves that were once cupboards bought from a local Baptist church.  She saw a book on my shelf by Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, and told me about how on the news she heard how they discovered he was really a fake and pocketing the money people gave him to build schools in Afghanistan and Pakistan. I was not so shocked to hear that Greg Mortenson was a fraud, in fact, that being made public felt highly welcome to me. I knew that were several big name autism “charities” that were more in the business for themselves and if Greg Mortenson was revealed like that, it wouldn’t be long before they were to. I also spent more of the morning unpacking my stuff.
Later I fed the cats later, helped clean out our pool, and went to Cam’s high school graduation. I could not help but imagine running into a girl everywhere I went at UCM from the group and the net morning I remembered how I once read that girls with autism often take longer to outgrow things like dolls and imaginary friends but thought that might not be the case if they made real ones. The fact is that people with autism are often not prepared for the real world the way schools are supposed to prepare them because while they may get along well with others, they often don’t have certain social skills, which could decrease their self-confidence, thus their ability to form friendships, find employment, be proud of who they are, and come together to fight autism discrimination, thus exacerbating prejudice and discrimination against them. The next day I rode my bike and realized the UCM and JCCC groups might make autistic people feel better about their disability. And with that they might be more likely to challenge discrimination against them.
That evening I pulled some weeds before going doing to Barnes and Noble with my granddad before we went to the Pathless Land and I got a Lonely Planet book on East Africa, another journal for my meditation journal, a Summer 2013 issue of Parabola magazine, a Summer 2013 issue of Tricycle magazine, a May 2013 issue of Afar magazine, and an April 2013 issue of Africawatch magazine. I had pretty much used up my new debit card but it was worth it. My granddad and I went down to the Pathless Land together and did some Dzongchen meditation with the other people there, where we did three things: sit, breathe, and be. After that my granddad and I went down to Roasterie Coffee in Brookside where I got a coffee that was very artistically done and reminded me of a Tibetan Buddhist mandala which is art that is impermanent. When I got home, Dave helped me get my internet working and Cam gave me a box which had several graduation presents from Dad: a recycled paper beads kit, a book called Rubbish!  Reuse Your Refuse, and a book called Ideas for Creative Reuse.  I later found out about a shop in Uganda selling ethnic musical instruments in my Lonely Planet book and a travel article about Zimbabwe showing a different angle about the country then the one we often hear of in the West. 
The next day I went to my art class with Jack and I found out about a place in Uganda with several cave paintings. I also fed the cats and rode my bike for half an hour. The next day I learned I got find magnet pieces down at the hardware store for making bottle caps into magnet. I deposited my check from my grandmom and took a little bit out for myself and I got an issue of Native magazine at Corinth Hen House and some magnet pieces at the hardware store in Prairie Village shopping center. I realized that the reason I’m so relaxed at UCM is probably because I exercise every night. Then I pulled some more weeds and I rode my bike for half an hour. I got to thinking that good health, food, moods, friends, family, encounters with nature, hobbies, vacations, travel, spirituality, self-assurance, and gratitude are probably the best things in life and I decided to try and ride my bike for an hour when I could, the same amount of time I exercised most nights at UCM. 
I went to work the next day and I realized that the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group could help autistic people find careers by making them more comfortable to join groups, less stressed so they can get more out of their classes, and more comfortable talking about their interests with other people, and that way people will be more familiar with autistic people and less prejudiced and thus less likely to force a “cure” on them which have caused them to get injured or even killed.  I got a new USDA cap from my drinks on my first break and the schedule which said I work on Sunday from 7-1:30, Monday from 8:30-1, Thursday from 10-2, and Saturday from 9-5:30. After work I made a belt loop from the letters on the beef jerky wrapper from my first break saying M-A-T-A-D-O-R. I went to work the next day and I got two new USDA caps on my first two breaks. I also worked on a poster to put up in the Union when they had them with a sheet called Facts and Myths About Autism and I realized that my Matador belt loop reminds me that I am a warrior who is brave which the late Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche taught about.

I went to work the next day and got a new USDA cap. I also came up with two parts of the poster board called The Autism Warrior Pledge and What You Can Do to Help. I later changed the title of the first one to The Fried of Autism Pledge and I got back and found out the movie Kon-Tiki was showing at 7:05 and I called Tyler and left a message for him about it.  I also wrote the Friend of Autism Pledge. Then the next day my mom and I went to the thrift store and I got some new shorts and some cool new button shirts there. I went down to the Hen House on Prairie Village shopping center and I got National Geographic’s: The World’s Most Beautiful Places: The World’s Unforgettable Destinations. I called my friend Erin and I made some fries for dinner. I worked on the beads Dad gave me and I learned he was saving several bottle caps for me.
The next day I went to work and switched my schedule for tomorrow with another courtesy clerk so Jack and I could go to art class the next day. I also got a new USDA cap on my lunch break and I realized I can be a role model for people with autism helping them to accept themselves more and making others more likely to help them. Afterwards I went to a Half Price Books with Granddad and learned about some archaeological sites in Zimbabwe then we went to the Pathless Land. Ben Worth the director wasn’t there that day so at the end of the session I did for us the dedication of merit he does at the end. Granddad and I went down to Roasterie Coffee after that and I got another latte that was artistically done.
The next day I went to art class with Jack and when I got home I worked on Facts and Myths About Autism. Then at 3 I went to work and got another USDA bottle cap during my break. The next day my mom, Jack, and I went to Winstead’s before seeing an archaeological exhibit in Kansas City Later I went to my Dad’s and showed him Facts and Myths About Autism, What You Can Do to Help, and the Friend of Autism Pledge.  He liked them all and gave me a few suggestions to improve them which I took. What You Can Do to Help and the Friend of Autism Pledge ended up looking something like this: 

What You Can Do to Help

-Show empathy and support for someone with autism when you see them experiencing difficulty on account of their disability, keeping in mind not to take away the person’s dignity.

-Remember a person with autism who is suspected of something wrong may be so on account of or misunderstanding due to their disability and may have trouble presenting their side or the story on account of their autism.  When making judgments and decisions on such a case, remember to do so only on a bases that is factual and relevant to the conflict.

-Always speak of autistic people in a way that acknowledges them as people first, avoiding terms such as “disorder” or “suffers from autism” and instead using words such as “condition.”  Avoid generalizations and mentioning the fact that a person has autism if it is not relevant to the discussion taking place. 

-Do thorough research on organizations claiming to represent autistic people getting to know facts such as where their money goes, what percentage of their organization is autistic, how they portray autism and people with it, and how their actions are viewed and affect people with autism.  More autism organizations are in it for themselves than you might think.

-Get to know people with autism if you have the chance.  Under the surface, they can make excellent friends and having good friends can really make a positive impact on their social interaction with people as a whole.

-When reading material about people with autism by so-called professionals, pay attention to the tone of the material and how favorably it is towards people with autism.

-Make notes of anytime you see a person with autism manipulated or treated unfairly due to their disability.  They may come in handy later.

-Learn all the sides of autism rather than just what is shown on television.  Autistic people have many great strengths in addition to whatever challenges they may face because of their disability.

-Get opinions from people with autism on their issues and things related to them.  Showing genuine interest may help more people with autism to advocate for themselves.

Friend of Autism Pledge

I pledge:

-to never victimize, abuse, discriminate, or defame a person on account of having autism.
-to see the entire person when looking at a person with autism, rather than merely their disability.
-to be cautious of the picture today’s media paints of autistic individuals, knowing that they are often exaggerated or only half-true.
-to do thorough research on autism organizations before investing, donating, or working for them, such as learning where their money goes, how much autistic people are represented among them, and how they represent people with autism and help others do the same.
-to be aware of what people with autism may experience from other people due to their disability.
-to respect both the challenges and blessings that autistic people have on account of their disability and learn to see themselves from their own eyes.
-to honestly strive to never help a person with autism in a way that takes away their dignity.
-to help any person with I know or suspect might have autism when I see them struggling with a situation with my own discretion.
-to recognize that if a person with autism is involved in an interpersonal or social crisis or accused of something that seems unlikely to remember that they often might have trouble presenting their side of the story and to help them if I can to bring it to the people in charge of dealing with these situations.
-that when I read anything or view anything mentioning people with autism, to pay attention to the tone of the author or maker to them and see how friendly it’s treatment of them is.
-to speak the honest, entire truth to the best of my knowledge whenever I talk about autism.
-to not turn a blind eye when I see an autistic person in a crisis involving other people due to misunderstanding on account of their disability and bring the issue to the attention of someone who would be an appropriate and likely candidate to help them.
-to be aware of whatever strengths a person with autism might have due to their disability in addition to their challenges.
-to not deliberately misrepresent an autistic person’s voice on their disability for my own or someone else’s reasons, whether they be selfish reasons or otherwise.
-to reevaluate any mistaken first impression I may have of an autistic person due to behavior of theirs as a result of their disability.
-to make judgments and decisions about people with autism that are not influenced by personal biases or facts unrelated to the matter about autism.
-to find a way stand up for myself when and if I am pressured by other people into doing something reprehensible to a person with autism on account of their disability.
-to be cautious of the feelings of autistic people when responding to or talking about their disability and anything related to that.
-to value the opinions of autistic people on matters about themselves.
-to judge the ideas, actions, and other effects of people with autism by their inherent qualities, not the person’s disabilities.
-to show empathy and support for autistic people I encounter who are going through pain on account of things related to their disability.
-to talk about autistic individuals as humans first and having autism second thus avoiding terms such as “disorder,” “suffers from autism,” or using broad generalizations or mentioning an autistic person’s disability when not relevant to the discussion.  I pledge to recognize that people with autism, like everyone else, seek food, water, physical support, free self-exploration, and love.

The next day I went to work and I found out I work the next day from 7-1:30, Monday from 8:30-1, Wednesday from 10-6:30, Thursday from 10-2, and Saturday from 9-5:30. When I got back I got a call from Jack asking me to come over to his house the next day while his dad was at a party and I agreed. I went to work the next day and got a new USDA cap. It said:

I have Asperger’s.  What’s your excuse?
                                                                        -Ben Sheldon

After that I went to the lake with my dad and grandparents and did some bird-watching. I realized bird-watching can help teach people compassion remembering how one time a woman asked the Dalai Lama how to teach children compassion in a world filled with violence and he said, “teach kids to learn about insects.” My granddad also gave me the latest issues of Mindful and Smithsonian which he finished for my collection. I read in there that Congressman Tim Ryan wanted schools to help kids reach their full potential much like my idea of schools helping people with autism be prepared for the real world. Later I ate with my dad and grandparents before my dad took me to Jack’s place.
I got to Jack’s place and we decided to first watch a movie. After sorting through some we decided to watch The Life of Pi. We ordered pizza from Minsky’s and I found out he also liked it with no sauce. We paused the movie to eat our pizza then finished the movie. We both thought it was pretty good and afterwards shot some basketball hoops and I told Jack about my work schedule. Afterwards we took a walk around Westwood Hills.

On Monday I went to work and got another USDA bottle cap on my break. After work I called Tyler and we agreed that we, Jack, and Mary should go down to the lake together. The next day I got a new pocket knife at the hardware store then went to work after that where I got another USDA bottle cap during my break. I also read during my break on my phone a quote by Maja Toudal about how she always has to try and guess people’s intentions and I realized that can take a lot of energy out of them giving them trouble with things like homework and I realized the UCM and JCCC groups should help them with that. I went to the Pathless Land with Granddad afterwards and at the end I did the dedication of merit for them as Ben wasn’t there this time either. After that my granddad and I went to the Roasterie Coffee on Brookside together.
The next day I went to work and got a new bottle cap on my break, not a USDA or crown one, and afterwards I filled out a request form for Wednesday and Thursday. Afterwards I rode my bike for an hour and I carved some “bullets” from sticks. The next day I practiced my flute-playing some more.

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