Preparing for Exams Again

On the first day of December, I got the idea to glue my non-crown bottle caps to an old record as a reference to song from the quote from Thorin Oakenshield, “If more of us valued food and drink and song and cheer over hoarded gold and silver, a much merrier world this would be.” Then I went down to Walgreen’s and got some shampoo and toilet paper. After that I fixed my god’s eye while I saw Sara. TI also went down to the OAS Office to schedule my Anthropology of Food exam. Then I went to the Union bookstore and got some hooks for my god-eye. I got back and hung it up, along with my yarn painting of Gandhi.  After that I made some more plarn. I also went to my Cinematography class where I got a 16.5% out of 30 on the exam, but it counted for less than 10% of my total score. After that I called Mom and asked her when I might say I can work until before we go to Colorado, and she said the 26th. I called Hen House and found out Rick wasn’t there out, he was going to be there tomorrow. Then I went down to Crazy Dog’s and had some honey barbecue wings. Later I went down to the Rec Center and saw Sara along the way and we talked. While I was there, I worked on another drawing. I said another sankalpa (Buddhist affirmation for the next day) that night. 

The next morning, I went to my appointment with Krisana and I enrolled for the Geography of the Former Soviet Union, Native American Religions, American Naturalist and Realist Literature, and Comparative Cultures. During that time, Krisana said I had ninety-eight credit hours, which meant I was due to graduate the next semester and ought to apply for graduation soon. I thought that couldn’t be and I only had ninety-two credit hours, fifty from JCCC and forty-two from UCM, and still had two more semesters. In any case, I did not think I could start the Autistic Student and Peer Organization in just one more semester, and it was something that meant so much to me and that I had put so much work into. 

Soon after that I called Hen House, but they told me to call back later. After classes got out, called Hen House and gave Rick my schedule. After running, I talked to my dad, who said he does have some records for me to use for my bottle cap peace signs that we can check out the next time we go to my grandmom’s and granddad’s house. After that I went to Late Night where I saw some new American Dad!. The next morning, I went to work with my Creative Problem-Solving group, and we finished our model, assigned speaking roles, and I filled out my evaluation worksheet. After that I went to see Cathy at the OAS Office and got my accommodation letters sent out, and I told Cathy about my concerns about the number of credit hours I had being miscounted and she printed off a degree audit, which confirmed my ideas, and told me to talk to my academic advisors about it. Later I made some more plarn. 

Later I reposted The Friend of Autism Pledge on Facebook. Then I had dinner with Josiah, who gave me his number before he moves out into Foster/Knox. I got back and saw three more people, including Jess, had liked The Friend of Autism Pledge, and I added their names to my list. I also finished my Anthropology of Food paper. Later I saw Jennifer Smith from the Autism Society of the Heartland had liked The Friend of Autism Pledge. After that I went down to Break Time where I got a new Snapple cap for my collection from my drink and picked up and recycled a bottle I found. 

After my Anthropology of Food class, the next morning I took a short nap. I also worked on my bottle cap wind chimes. Then I sat with Mardy, Alex, Mary, Blair, and Ellie at lunch. During my Creative Problem-Solving class my teammates and I worked more on our project. Soon after I got back to my dorm I went to the mandatory meeting for our hall. Then I had some cookies for National Cookie Day at dinner. Later I made my first sing from several of the crown bottle caps in my collection, using wood I brought from home during the break, saying “Now.” I was rather pleased with how it turned out. That night I also recited a sankalpa.

The next morning, I went down to the hardware store to buy some more, and then Bi-Lo Mart and got two drinks along with a four-pack out drinks. I got back from the Rec Center and talked to my dad, who said he saw Sean Swindler today, and he was very full of good things to say about me and said that he thinks I really changed the culture of JCCC. Later Josiah gave me a bag, which was full of candy canes. Then we watched some College Humor videos together. After that I walked down to Break Time and got some Altoids. That night I recited a sankalpa again.

The next day I made another receipt coaster and finished another one. Then I went down to Those Were the Days and bought some more embroidery floss. I also began thinking more about how mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, used to say when asked by people if pure attention in Buddhism had anything to do with Attention Deficit Disorder, and how he would answer that the Buddha would say everyone in our society has Attention Deficit Disorder. I decided I was going to write a letter to him asking him to stop saying that, feeling that was demeaning and offensive towards people with AD/HD such as me. I got back and worked on my yarn painting some more. Soon after that I talked to my granddad, who I told about my idea to write a letter to Jon Kabat-Zinn asking him to stop quoting the Buddha as to saying everyone has ADHD and about how as an autistic I feel so underrepresented in Buddhism, and he said I he thought my letter was a good idea and that I had a lot of good points that he never thought about before. Then I worked on another coaster. After running I talked to Dad, who liked my letter idea. Then I worked on my yarn painting some more. After that I talked to Tyler, and I promised to call him again tomorrow.

The next day worked more on my yarn painting. Soon after that I had dinner with Jess, Josh, Drake, and Larry. After that I worked more on my bottle cap wind chimes and found a place to store all of them in my old hot glue stick bags in my old jellybeans bag. Then I started another receipt coaster. I also ran on the treadmill for about an hour while I made some more plarn. Soon after that I realized I might not need to worry about feeling unappreciated at UCM for my autism work because Teigan might be coming here next year. After that I went down to Break Time and got two packs of beef jerky and Doritos. On my way back I picked up and recycled a bottle I found on the ground. When I got back, I talked to Tyler and decided each time I talked to him I would praise his advice because it makes him feel good, and in some ways, he does have good advice. I also saw how he can be much smarter than people think. 

I worked more on one of my plarn belts. As I took a shower, I decided that since I only had two Vyvanse pills left, I would skip them the next day or the day after that so I could take them on Thursday and drive home them. I went down to Walgreen’s to get them refilled, but they said it was too early. Never-the-less I did pick up and recycle several recyclables I found on the ground and picked up several receipts which I used to complete three more receipt coasters when I got back. I also realized that if I focused less on my feelings of being unappreciated as an autism advocate, of being unsupported, and how dire the task were, I might be more productive in coming up with ideas, and that, if stimming can help one regulate one’s focus, one could also use it to focus on the things that make them happy. Later I turned my form for the testing center into Dr. Yelton. Then I went down to the bank, deposited my check from my grandmom, and got several quarters. I got back and did some laundry, during which time I worked on my crochet belt. I also decided not to focus so much on my love life for a while, so I’ll have less stress over that and be more able to focus on the group. After that I had dinner with Josiah, Tyler (different Tyler), and a few of Tyler’s friends. I got back from the Rec Center and started two coasters. After that I went to Late Night where I joined Josiah and Josh. Later I worked more on my final papers for my American Renaissance class.

The next day I vacuumed my room. Then I took out my trash and recycling. After that I cleaned them out.  I also signed on to Pinterest. Then I ate with Jacob and Josh in the cafeteria. I ran on the treadmill while I worked on my plarn belt. I also worked on my final papers for my American Renaissance class. That night I hung out with Josiah and Josh in my room. The next day I went to all three of my exams, making some plarn in between my first and second one, got checked out of my dorm by Jess, and drove home with my mom. 

 

 

 

Senior's Final Project Week

The post for ASAN-KC for National Philanthropy Day appeared to have been a success, and on the 15^th and 16^th I noticed the chapter got about twenty more likes on Facebook. On Monday I went to breakfast, where I ran into Kriti, who was working at the dining hall, and said I’ve put some very fascinating posts on Facebook.  Then I recited a gatha to help get me through my reading for my Cinematography class. After that I started the reading. After about ten pages, I took a break to get lunch, coffee, and draw in the cafeteria, where someone walking by saw my drawing and complimented me on it. I also finished all the reading for my Cinematography class. I went to that class, during which time I decided to keep doing Ben’s Blog after I finish school, to talk about the future of my group and other groups like it, my art, my poetry, my ASAN work, the future of The Friend of Autism Pledge and the Autism Rights Movement, though I still wasn’t sure whether I would go to grad school afterwards, but in any case, wanted to continue these pursuits for the betterment of the autistic people. After dinner at Crazy Dog’s, I got back and did a lot of reading for my American Renaissance class. Then I ran on the treadmill for about an hour where I ran saw Beth and Jessie. I got back and went to Late Night where I did some more drawing. I also learned of the Buddhist practice of reciting a sankalpa, or intention, every night before bed to feel better the next morning from Elephant Journal’s article on Facebook Do These 5 Things Before Bed and Wake Up Happier. That night, I said one before bed.

                During my Anthropology of Food class where I decided to put my Eat, Drink, Vote book in my backpack today so I don’t forget to bring it home. Afterwards I realized that ASPO could be a good bridge between ASAN-KC and ASAN-SL, as well as ASAN, Alpha Sigma Alpha, the Autism Society of the Heartland, and THRIVE. Then I read some more of the reading for my American Renaissance class. After that I worked on some more on my drawings. During my Creative Problem-Solving class, I got back my latest assignment with an 86% and worked some more on our model with my group. I also heard there is a new Facebook page called Boycott Boycott Autism Speaks, which has gotten ten likes since it started yesterday, and is now giving free publicity to the real Boycott Autism Speaks. After that I treated myself to a chocolate chip brownie and a white chocolate blast while I learned that five years ago, the Alpha Xi Delta chapter of Miami, Ohio held a party in the Underground Railroad Museum, which they trashed and urinated all over out of drunkenness, and on a slave’s pen, and I realized that the black community would not respond very well to that. I also recited a sankalpa that night.

The next day I worked on our group project for my Creative Problem-Solving class with my group, where I ran into Sara, and I spent some more of the day working on my drawings. Later I hung out with Josiah and Josh. I got done a lot more of the project for my Creative Problem-Solving class the next day before my American Renaissance class and during my Creative Problem-Solving class. I worked some more on it the next day until my Granddad came to pick me up. As I was packing, I noticed Kaitlyn had put her name on The Friend of Autism Pledge. As I got ready to go, I saw Sara leaving, introduced her to my granddad, and said goodbye to her. I saw her as I got into the parking lot, and she smiled at me. 

                My granddad drove me home and took me to Minsky’s to eat on the way. As we drove, I learned of a Black autistic boy named Reginald Latson, who was arrested for “suspicious behavior” from Boycott Autism Speaks on Facebook on my phone. On the hashtag #freenelilatson, I wrote, “Neli's sole reason for his suspicion was that he was black and autistic. You wouldn't find this with a white neurotypical. Neil was found guilty of assaulting a law enforcement officer when he tried to get him off him, and being on him caused him several bruises and a shattered ankle. The cop was a grown man armed with a gun. Neli was a young teenager who was unarmed. I hope the judge and jury are stripped of their respective privileges for some time and that the cop is suspended. Being black and autistic are not reasons to suspect someone had a gun, and teenagers should not be sentenced for defending themselves against an armed man. Free Neli Latson ‪#‎freeneli.” 

While we were at dinner, my granddad told me that my mom told him that Donna gave a painting of hers to the Mission Project art auction, which made me realize I was grateful, in addition to her generosity, that I introduced Jack to her. I also called Hen House, and learned I wasn’t on the schedule yet. Then I got and worked on some more plarn.

Disability Deadlines

 

On the Monday after I got back from my third weekend at home, I took pictures of the lighting set-up I did for my shot remake for my Cinematography class and sent them to my teacher. I also decided to post The Friend of Autism Pledge on Facebook and tell people in my post that if they agreed with the pledge, to like it or put their name in the comment section. After I did this, I noticed I had gotten an invitation from Joshua John, a THRIVE mentor, to Disability Awareness Week taking place down in the Union that day until the 31^st. I accepted the invitation and went down there. Once there, I helped set up tables and met Barbara, who I asked about TheFriend of Autism Pledge, and she said she was ok with me putting her name on my sheet. Soon I saw my mom had liked The Friend of Autism Pledge, and asked me to add her name, along with two other Facebook friends. I also met a woman from the Social Work program, who Barbara and I told about the Autistic Student and Peer Organization, and she suggested I submit an article to the Non-Traditional Student Organization’s newsletter, as so many of their members were parents and possibly had an autistic child. I agreed with her. The deadline was by the 29^th. Also, a deadline for writing for the autistic community was the day Autistic Speaking Day on November 1^st when autistics from around the world submitted short written works (poems, essays, articles, etc.) for the Autistic Speaking Day blog in order to promote the idea that autistics can speak for themselves.

              On Friday I called the Ellis maintenance about my new broken blinds (the second time in that semester), went to the library and found an article from an issue of The New England Quarterly to do the article summary for my American Renaissance class, checked it out, got back and e-mailed my instructor asking for his approval for this article, and did a journal entry for my Anthropology of Food class before its due date at 5:00.  I then looked at my UCM e-mail account and saw Kristie had responded to my submission saying she would be happy to have the article in there. I also saw Erin from Camp Encourage had e-mailed me back, saying she saw The Friend of Autism Pledge, and would be happy to let me add her name to it.  

As I ran on the treadmill, I saw a picture on Pinterest made from bottle caps of god’s eyes of different sizes with each layer being a different color because they were made from different types of bottle caps.  After seeing that, I knew what I wanted to do to repurpose many of the duplicate bottle caps I had.  After all that I enjoyed one of the Grape Smirnoffs I had gotten the last Sunday (though I don’t really like vodka), from which I got another bottle cap, making this one perhaps the three hundred sixty-third bottle cap I had collected so far.  Josiah, meanwhile, helped me work on my bottle cap picture, using his math skills to help me figure out the number of different types of duplicate bottle caps I would need for each diamond.

                The next morning, I saw, to my relief, my post on the Autistic Speaking Day website, just as I had written it. After that I went to the hardware store and got some hot glue and a hammer. Then I went to Walgreen’s and got some toothpaste, a twenty-five dollar debit card, and some beers. I spent part of the afternoon putting up links to it on the Autistic Speaking Day website and The Autist Dharma on The Autist Dharma and Facebook. I started on my bottle cap picture, which was really fun, and I got most of the way through it. I also talked to Granddad, who was pleased to hear the news about my publication and was interested in my picture. Then, while on the treadmill, I got the idea to use the bottom of an aluminum can to make the top of my wind chimes. Then I got started on my wind chime. I went to Break Time afterwards and along the way got a great picture of the black-and-white night sky above the lit-up Rec Center.

 

 

A Weekend for ASAN

The day after I got home, I spent part of the day in Starbuck’s reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Silmarillion, and to my surprise, managed to get over twenty pages into it. On my way back I went to Rimann’s Liquor Store and got a new bottle cap for my collection from a giant bottled water I got there. Unfortunately, that night my cold that I had been developing over the past few days started getting worse.

                The next morning I drove down to Johnson County Community College to attend the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City’s presentation at JCCC’s Autism Beyond the Diagnosis Conference. I got there and went down to the Nerman Buidling, where I found Sean Swindler, the man who had helped me so much at starting the JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group, as I went to get my nametag. He smiled at me, held out his hand, and I shook it.

                “Ben,” he said. “It’s good to see you. How are you?”

                “Good. How are you?”

                "Good. I just wanted to tell you the group you started is going great. We get about twenty-five people to come each meeting.”

                “Wow! That’s great!”

                “Yes, it’s going great. And you started it all.”

                I then saw another familiar face I recognized from JCCC, Mary-Jane Billingsley, a faculty member from the school who was a great supporter of the great. I approached her and she was overjoyed to see me. She said a JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group member recently presented at the conference and it had one of the largest turnouts they had had in a while. Soon I met up with Pam, Daniel, Spencer, Skyler, a young female ASAN-KC member, and a tall bearded member, Bart Ewing, a social worker who worked with autistic children and I met for the first time. 

                As it was time for the presentation to start, I went into the designated room and met Elizabeth, Elise from Horizon, and Erin from Camp Encourage, as well as a middle-aged blonde women and a wiry-haired, broad-shouldered black young man. I talked to Elise, who told me she was going to the movie benefit for Camp Encourage, which I had invited her to on Facebook later that day. 

11:30, the time we were supposed to start, was approaching, yet Teigan and Marshall had not yet arrived. Spencer went up to the stand and said that they called and had car troubles and were running late. As 11:30 came, they had not yet arrived and Spencer began the introduction, explaining the mission and history of ASAN and its local Kansas City chapter. Soon after, he finished and Pam continued, telling the audience about person-first language vs. identity-first language (person with autism-denying autism as part of a person vs. autistic person where one acknowledges it), and mentioned how still if an autistic person prefers person-first language, you should use it around them. The young female member went up to the stand next and spoke on autism rights. Skyler went up next to tell the audience about self-advocacy. Bart then spoke about accommodations for autistic and disabled people. Then, finally Teigan and Marshall arrived and gave their part of the presentation.  Marshall spoke at length about neurodiversity, and then Teigan spoke about cross-disability activism.  As the presentation ended, the floor opened to questions. The blonde women asked about her son with Asperger syndrome, and how they felt he might fit into the group. Teigan answered saying anyone who agreed to our rules on respect for disabled people were welcome to come. Then Erin raised her hand and said, “I agree with your idea of accepting autistic people the way they are. I just wanted to ask, how do you ask an autistic person whether they want you to use person-first or identity-first language?”

                Elizabeth spoke up.

                “I think just the way you worded it is fine.”

                The presentation ended and I met the audience and ASAN members outside the room. I approached Teigan and asked her when we were having the silent auction. She said we weren’t going to have it, as she couldn’t reserve a room at UMKC, but we might have it in January. I also told her about The Friend of Autism Pledge, and she said if I e-mailed her with it, they might be able to put it up on their website. The blonde woman approached me and asked, “Are you Ben Edwards?”

                “Yes,” I said.

                “Well, I just wanted to let you know I read your blog and thought it was just great, all that you chose to put on there. I love how autistics are just so honest.”

                I laughed.

                “Well if you liked my blog, there’s something else I did that you might like.”

                She nodded.

                “It’s called The Friend of Autism Pledge. Basically it’s a pledge of how one agrees to treat autistics, it’s on my other blog, and if you agree with what it says you can add your name to the comment section and I will put your name on a list outside the door of my dorm at school. I’m trying to get more autistics there to be able to be open about their condition so I can start a group for autistic students.”

                “Ok, well I will look at that. Can I get there from your other blog?”

                “Yes.”

                The young Black male held out his hand and I shook it. 

                “Hi, my name’s Cole,” he said.

                “Hi, I’m Ben.”

                “She’s my mom," he said, pointing to the woman.

                Soon I met up with Erin and Elizabeth. I told Erin about The Friend of Autism Pledge and said I could send it to her via e-mail, and if she agreed to it, I would put her name on my list.

                “Ok,” she said and gave me her e-mail address.

                We all went out into the Nerman lobby and sat down. Several of the ASAN members were saying that in the future they would like to have an idea of what the room they would present in looks like beforehand, to avoid sensory overstimulation. A dark-haired woman sat around them and listened to them. She saw me and spoke to me.

                “Ben?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Hi, I’m Jennifer Smith, the president of the Autism Society of the Heartland.”

                “Oh, nice to meet you,” I said, shaking her hand.

                We sat talking for about another ten minutes until I got up and told them I was going to drive back home. We said goodbye and I drove back to the house.

             After I got back and went down to Starbuck’s again, reading up to thirty pages of The Silmarillion. Soon after, I got the idea to take some of my unflattened bottle caps (which I had duplicates of), flatten them, take some of my flattened ones, and make tambourines like I had last year, only this time with one stick that the caps were connected to by nails. I went down to the hardware store, got a short rod, got back, and made a tambourine. Later that night I also read more of The Silmarillion, getting forty or so pages into it. Unfortunately, my cold still got worse. 

                The next morning I finished scooping Peter’s litter box when I heard a knock on the door.  I went downstairs and saw who it was. It was Riccardo, one of my best friends from high school. 

                I let him in and learned he was here to talk to my mom about doing some work for her. I brought him to her and they talked about it. He also said in a few days he would be going to Italy to visit relatives for about a week. Soon my mom asked if he and I were connected on Facebook, and he said we were. He also said we had a few mutual friends including Teigan Hockman and Marshall Edwards from the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City. My mom asked, “Oh, are you a part of ASAN-KC?”

                “Sort of.  I don’t really know much about it.”

                “Well you should talk to Ben and learn about getting involved.”

                “Sure,” I said, my heart racing at the prospect. “We could go down to Starbuck’s and I could tell you about it.”

                “Ok,” he said.

                We walked down there and ordered our drinks. Then we went outside, to a cool October afternoon and sat down with our coffee. Finally I said, “So about ASAN…”

                “Yeah?”

                “Well, we’re a group that pushes for greater inclusion of autistic people in society. We were founded eight years ago by two young autistic college students, Ari Ne’eman our president, and Scott Robertson our vice president. We have chapters all across the country including York, Sacramento, Michigan, and of course, Kansas City. We also have chapters in Australia and New Zealand.”

                “Well, that’s good.”

                “Yeah. Anyway, one thing a lot of us do at ASAN is use identity-first language when talking about autistic people, meaning we say 'autistic person,' rather than 'person with autism,' basically to denote that we don’t think autism is something that needs to be hidden about one’s self for them to be respected.”

                “That’s good,” he said, nodding.

                “We also believe in a concept called neurodiversity, where we believe all brains of people, whether they are autistic, not autistic, dyslexic, or whatever, should be respected the way they are and people with them should have equal rights to society.”

                “Good,” he said, looking interested.

                “And we also are a cross-disability group, meaning we work with groups of people from all different disabilities to promote equality and access for all of us. So we work with organizations of people with Down syndrome, dyslexia, Tourette’s syndrome.”

                “Well, I have a question?”

                “Yeah?”

                “How can I get involved?”

                Relief came into my body.

                As we walked back to my house I told Riccardo how ASAN-KC met every month and how if you couldn’t attend in person, you could attend on-line through Google+. I also told him about my Friend of Autism Pledge, and that I could send it to him, and if he agreed with it, I could add his name to the list of names on my door. He agreed to let me send it to him, and when we got back, he gave me his e-mail address. 

                He hung out at our house for a little while, watching the football game with us. Meanwhile, my cold had gotten almost unbearable. Soon Riccardo left, and around that time, I got packed up, and my mom drove me back to school, while I felt too tired to drive myself. We got back and she insisted on vacuuming the room herself for a little while. She also located a package in my room that I hadn’t opened yet, and inside it turned out to be a whole bag of Wasabi peas, which she said would be could for my sinuses. She left me with some cough drops, and later I went down to dinner. I got back to my hall, deciding to just rest, and went out into the lounge and read more of The Silmarillion, getting almost fifty pages into it.