Winter Break January 3-11

My mom and I were back in Kansas City after a week of being in Colorado. The day after we got back, we took my phone to Verizon Wireless, where we were able to get me into a new phone using my UCM e-mail account. However, I was not able to figure out the e-mail address and password to get into my old account.

                The next day I went to Starbuck’s again, and later I went to the hardware store and got some more hot glue. After that I got back and made my cross of reclaimed wood. I then finished my bottle cap snake that I had started on some time ago. Then I finished another coaster made from receipts. The next day I went to my appointment with Dr. Mays before getting my flu shot. Later I deposited my tuition check and got my prescription from Dr. Mays in the mail.

                After that I called work and found out I’m off all this week. Then I made fourteen more bracelets from old glow bracelets and strips of snack wrappers. After that I went down to Better Cheddar where I got a new bottle cap from my drink. I also went to Starbuck’s where I got the idea to make an autistic mandala. Then I made my mandala. I also had a dinner of cheese, crackers, garlic cloves, spicy hummus, moose spread, and spicy hummus with my mom. I also talked to my dad, and he liked the mandala that I showed him in a picture. After that I called Jack. I also worked on another snake made from bottle caps.

                I worked on my snake. I also did some laundry and had a peppered chicken sandwich on a sandwich roll with some spicy hummus. Then I went to Bruce Smith and got the Goosebumps book Welcome to Dead House. After that I went down to Starbuck’s where I got the idea to make Buddhist monk sculptures from pinecones and learned about a new Lord of the Rings fan film called The Two Hunters, though lotr.wikia.com said it might not ever be completed. I decided to order some on-line. I also worked on some more receipt coaster and bottle cap snake. I also talked to Tyler.

                The next day I went to Starbuck’s again. I also went to eat with Dad at Minsky’s, where he brought up the subject of what I would do with my career after UCM.

              “Well,” I said, “I would like to do things for the autistic community.”

                “Well, have you thought of getting a degree in Social Work? They do have a program at Columbia and UMKC.”

                “Well, I’d really like to go into Disability Studies.”

                “Oh, I don’t know anything about that.”

                I got back and talked to my Granddad, telling him about the conversation with my dad. 
                “I mean,” I said, “I think I can find a way to get into Disability Studies.”

                “Uh-hu,” he said in a non-committal tone.

                “What?!”

                “I mean maybe you should talk to someone about this. I don’t know anything about this.”

                “Well, what, do you think I can’t do anything for the autistic community with my career without a social work degree.”

                “No, I just said maybe you should talk to someone who knows more about it than I do.”

                “Of course.”

                The next day picked up Tyler and ate lunch in Lawrence. Then we went to visit the Topeka Capitol Building. We got back and had dinner. Then we spent a lot of time watching Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. During that time, Jack called and said he would be able to get together the next day.

                I took some time to saw the edges of the boards I brought back from Colorado for my bottle cap signs. Afterwards I went back to Verizon and got my mom and I new chargers. I got back and started getting all my stuff to go to UCM together. After that I went down to Starbuck’s.

                I got back and talked to my granddad, saying to him what I had wanted to say for two days, “Look, I’ve started two groups, two blogs, spoke at a camp and a school for autistic children, and went on Chris Hernandez’s show about autistic adults. I think I can do something even without a social work degree to really help the autistic community with my career!”

                “Well, I do, too,” he said.

                “Really?”

                “Yes. I think you’re going to do wonderful things.”

                “Well thank you. I’m sorry. I was wrong to get so short with you.”

                “Oh, it’s no problem. You were just stressed out.”

                 I drove over to Jack’s place, and he was happy to let me take pictures of his art to share with Artists and Autism. Then we went down to Salsa Grill where I told him about The Friend of Autism Pledge and what it was for, and he agreed to have a look at it when we got back. Once we did, he read over it, thought it was a great idea, and that he would be happy for me to add his name to the list. After that we watched The Sandlot, which I actually enjoyed pretty well. 

                When I got back, I reposted The Friend of Autism Pledge on Facebook. I got back and paid my student tuition. Then I filled out my voting ballet. After that I washed my coat and other laundry. Then my dad got here and delivered my textbooks, a head massager, and several bottle caps, from which I got two new ones from my collection. After that I packed up my stuff for UCM. I went down to Minsky’s and treated myself to some buffalo wings. Then I went to Hen House and had some donuts. My mom paid me for the dinner I got myself, and then I shared one of Jack’s paintings on Artists and Autism. 

                The next day I cuddled with Peter some more while learning about the different species of mammals in Africa. Then I packed up my stuff all the way and loaded it into my mom’s car. I drove down to UCM, feeling perfectly relaxed about driving on the highway. I got to UCM and unpacked. I also learned that I have a new roommate named Jeremy. I met Jeremy, his parents, and his girlfriend, Lisa, who I learned was a child development major and a song leader. 

“What is that?” I asked.

“I lead songs for my sorority.”

“Oh, what sorority is that?”

“AO Pi.”

             “Oh”,

             “We’re cool," she said.

Soon after that I restored my CD mandala some more. Then I went to Crazy Dog’s where I got a new bottle cap for my collection from my drink and enjoyed The Simpsons, albeit only with subtitles. I got back and ran on the treadmill for about an hour, though having forgotten my headphones, and learned more about mammals in South Africa. Then I got back and got to know Jeremy, including that he is a junior pre-med transfer student from a community college in St. Charles and goes home once a month to work with the Marines, which he is in. After that I talked to Erin, who reminded me that it is up to me whether I continue with my schooling after college.

Rainbow color interior often used to represent autism along with the rainbow infinity symbol for autism, the golden hat for the Golden Hat Foundation for autism, gold-light up during April for Autism Acceptance Month, dragonfly of the Autism Women's Network, glowing head of ThAutCast, waving hands of Autism Positivity Flash Blog, the rainbow septagram of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, the flames of the Autism Network International, and red-also light up during April for Autism Acceptance.

Preparing for Exams Again

On the first day of December, I got the idea to glue my non-crown bottle caps to an old record as a reference to song from the quote from Thorin Oakenshield, “If more of us valued food and drink and song and cheer over hoarded gold and silver, a much merrier world this would be.” Then I went down to Walgreen’s and got some shampoo and toilet paper. After that I fixed my god’s eye while I saw Sara. TI also went down to the OAS Office to schedule my Anthropology of Food exam. Then I went to the Union bookstore and got some hooks for my god-eye. I got back and hung it up, along with my yarn painting of Gandhi.  After that I made some more plarn. I also went to my Cinematography class where I got a 16.5% out of 30 on the exam, but it counted for less than 10% of my total score. After that I called Mom and asked her when I might say I can work until before we go to Colorado, and she said the 26th. I called Hen House and found out Rick wasn’t there out, he was going to be there tomorrow. Then I went down to Crazy Dog’s and had some honey barbecue wings. Later I went down to the Rec Center and saw Sara along the way and we talked. While I was there, I worked on another drawing. I said another sankalpa (Buddhist affirmation for the next day) that night. 

The next morning, I went to my appointment with Krisana and I enrolled for the Geography of the Former Soviet Union, Native American Religions, American Naturalist and Realist Literature, and Comparative Cultures. During that time, Krisana said I had ninety-eight credit hours, which meant I was due to graduate the next semester and ought to apply for graduation soon. I thought that couldn’t be and I only had ninety-two credit hours, fifty from JCCC and forty-two from UCM, and still had two more semesters. In any case, I did not think I could start the Autistic Student and Peer Organization in just one more semester, and it was something that meant so much to me and that I had put so much work into. 

Soon after that I called Hen House, but they told me to call back later. After classes got out, called Hen House and gave Rick my schedule. After running, I talked to my dad, who said he does have some records for me to use for my bottle cap peace signs that we can check out the next time we go to my grandmom’s and granddad’s house. After that I went to Late Night where I saw some new American Dad!. The next morning, I went to work with my Creative Problem-Solving group, and we finished our model, assigned speaking roles, and I filled out my evaluation worksheet. After that I went to see Cathy at the OAS Office and got my accommodation letters sent out, and I told Cathy about my concerns about the number of credit hours I had being miscounted and she printed off a degree audit, which confirmed my ideas, and told me to talk to my academic advisors about it. Later I made some more plarn. 

Later I reposted The Friend of Autism Pledge on Facebook. Then I had dinner with Josiah, who gave me his number before he moves out into Foster/Knox. I got back and saw three more people, including Jess, had liked The Friend of Autism Pledge, and I added their names to my list. I also finished my Anthropology of Food paper. Later I saw Jennifer Smith from the Autism Society of the Heartland had liked The Friend of Autism Pledge. After that I went down to Break Time where I got a new Snapple cap for my collection from my drink and picked up and recycled a bottle I found. 

After my Anthropology of Food class, the next morning I took a short nap. I also worked on my bottle cap wind chimes. Then I sat with Mardy, Alex, Mary, Blair, and Ellie at lunch. During my Creative Problem-Solving class my teammates and I worked more on our project. Soon after I got back to my dorm I went to the mandatory meeting for our hall. Then I had some cookies for National Cookie Day at dinner. Later I made my first sing from several of the crown bottle caps in my collection, using wood I brought from home during the break, saying “Now.” I was rather pleased with how it turned out. That night I also recited a sankalpa.

The next morning, I went down to the hardware store to buy some more, and then Bi-Lo Mart and got two drinks along with a four-pack out drinks. I got back from the Rec Center and talked to my dad, who said he saw Sean Swindler today, and he was very full of good things to say about me and said that he thinks I really changed the culture of JCCC. Later Josiah gave me a bag, which was full of candy canes. Then we watched some College Humor videos together. After that I walked down to Break Time and got some Altoids. That night I recited a sankalpa again.

The next day I made another receipt coaster and finished another one. Then I went down to Those Were the Days and bought some more embroidery floss. I also began thinking more about how mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, used to say when asked by people if pure attention in Buddhism had anything to do with Attention Deficit Disorder, and how he would answer that the Buddha would say everyone in our society has Attention Deficit Disorder. I decided I was going to write a letter to him asking him to stop saying that, feeling that was demeaning and offensive towards people with AD/HD such as me. I got back and worked on my yarn painting some more. Soon after that I talked to my granddad, who I told about my idea to write a letter to Jon Kabat-Zinn asking him to stop quoting the Buddha as to saying everyone has ADHD and about how as an autistic I feel so underrepresented in Buddhism, and he said I he thought my letter was a good idea and that I had a lot of good points that he never thought about before. Then I worked on another coaster. After running I talked to Dad, who liked my letter idea. Then I worked on my yarn painting some more. After that I talked to Tyler, and I promised to call him again tomorrow.

The next day worked more on my yarn painting. Soon after that I had dinner with Jess, Josh, Drake, and Larry. After that I worked more on my bottle cap wind chimes and found a place to store all of them in my old hot glue stick bags in my old jellybeans bag. Then I started another receipt coaster. I also ran on the treadmill for about an hour while I made some more plarn. Soon after that I realized I might not need to worry about feeling unappreciated at UCM for my autism work because Teigan might be coming here next year. After that I went down to Break Time and got two packs of beef jerky and Doritos. On my way back I picked up and recycled a bottle I found on the ground. When I got back, I talked to Tyler and decided each time I talked to him I would praise his advice because it makes him feel good, and in some ways, he does have good advice. I also saw how he can be much smarter than people think. 

I worked more on one of my plarn belts. As I took a shower, I decided that since I only had two Vyvanse pills left, I would skip them the next day or the day after that so I could take them on Thursday and drive home them. I went down to Walgreen’s to get them refilled, but they said it was too early. Never-the-less I did pick up and recycle several recyclables I found on the ground and picked up several receipts which I used to complete three more receipt coasters when I got back. I also realized that if I focused less on my feelings of being unappreciated as an autism advocate, of being unsupported, and how dire the task were, I might be more productive in coming up with ideas, and that, if stimming can help one regulate one’s focus, one could also use it to focus on the things that make them happy. Later I turned my form for the testing center into Dr. Yelton. Then I went down to the bank, deposited my check from my grandmom, and got several quarters. I got back and did some laundry, during which time I worked on my crochet belt. I also decided not to focus so much on my love life for a while, so I’ll have less stress over that and be more able to focus on the group. After that I had dinner with Josiah, Tyler (different Tyler), and a few of Tyler’s friends. I got back from the Rec Center and started two coasters. After that I went to Late Night where I joined Josiah and Josh. Later I worked more on my final papers for my American Renaissance class.

The next day I vacuumed my room. Then I took out my trash and recycling. After that I cleaned them out.  I also signed on to Pinterest. Then I ate with Jacob and Josh in the cafeteria. I ran on the treadmill while I worked on my plarn belt. I also worked on my final papers for my American Renaissance class. That night I hung out with Josiah and Josh in my room. The next day I went to all three of my exams, making some plarn in between my first and second one, got checked out of my dorm by Jess, and drove home with my mom. 

 

 

 

National Philanthropy Day

After a hardy weekend of blogging, I did some more crocheting on one of my belts. After that I took a walk down to a gas station clear my head before I needed to do it at night. Then I did a little bit of the reading for my Cinematography class, though I used the pictures in the book to help guide me a little bit. After that I took a walk down to Break Time and got some Flaming Hot Cheetos’s.

                I went to my Cinematography class where I got a ten out of ten on the quiz, and it helped rekindle my passion a little bit for filmmaking. Afterwards I went down to Crazy Dog’s and enjoyed some boneless honey barbecue chicken wings, and got a canned coke instead of a beer, cutting down on the glass consumption to take to the recycling center, while still not consuming non-recyclable products. I got back and saw Sara, Kameron, and Beth as they were about to go down to Late Night and joined them, at the same table that April and Morgan were sitting at, shortly joined by Drake, and Sara and Beth later went back to the grill to get some more food, before which Sara asked if I wanted anything. After deciding to go up to see what else was being served, I stood in line with Sara and Beth, enjoying their company. Sara, Beth, and Kameron soon finished eating, and Sara asked if I was ready to go back, and I went back up with them, during which time she held the door to the third floor open for me. Soon after that I read more of The Divine Madman. The next morning, I enjoyed a breakfast of donuts and bacon. Then I read a lot of the reading for my American Renaissance class, reading two chapters (which are all very short) at a time, and focusing only on other things after I’ve done them. After that I went to that class where I took part in the discussion and found out I got a B on the first draft of my article summary. 

                After class I made an appointment with Krisana West for the 25^th, the earliest time she had available. I got back and worked on another wind chime made from bottle caps. Then I called Hen House, talked to Rick, and told him I was available to start working on the 23rd. After that I went to dinner where I wrote another haiku. Afterwards I played Candy Rain for a bit. After that I made some more plarn while running on the treadmill. Then I got back and ate at Late Night with April, Morgan, and Drake, while I saw on my Facebook messages a message from Marshall Edwards from ASAN-KC saying he thought they might be able to do something for National Philanthropy Day and asked if I could write a post for their Facebook page. I responded saying of course.  Later I played Candy Rain some more and saw Sara at the same time. I also realized I was going to need to reschedule my appointment with Krisana if I’m going to start working by the 23rd.

                The next morning, I worked on one of my belts made from plarn. Then I went to the Office of Academic Advising and rescheduled my appointment with Krisana for 8:30 on December 2^nd. I got back and worked on an article for ASAN-KC for National Philanthropy Day, while I saw Sara pass through the lounge, and we said hello. After I finished the article, I sent it to Marshall, and he said he and Spencer would take a look at it. Then I worked on my belt some more. After that I finished reading all of yesterday’s reading for my American Renaissance class, again seeing Sara pass through the lounge going from her room to her car on her way to a friend’s house, and then back to get her cell-phone charger. Then I read a lot of the reading for my Anthropology of Food class while running on the treadmill. I got back and went to Late Night where I saw April and Morgan leaving. Soon afterwards I read a lot more of the reading for my Anthropology of Food class. After that I took a walk to the Union outside where I danced with Hook, on my way realizing that maybe the walk to the Union, much like the journey to the sites in Tibet, Nepal, and Bhutan for Buddhist pilgrims in northern India is what the pilgrimage is about, and just as the journey that led me to that part of the Union the night, I danced there has been an incredible journey. On my way back I thought longingly of flaming hot Cheetos's realizing that maybe foods do have temperatures like the Greek philosopher Galen had said. Over time, my passion against Autism Speaks was growing stronger and stronger, and I thought Maybe it was time to get Alpha Xi Delta’s attention on the issue by creating a volley of one-star reviews on their page for their support of AS, until their average drops so much that we get their attention, and I should be the one to start it.  Feeling too tired to write anything though, I simply gave them a one-star review for the time.  The next day after my classes got out, I decided it was time to do it, but I was scared, remembering stories of fellow autistics protesting Autism Speaks who faced threats, harassment, and even violence for their beliefs, but as I got on Facebook, I saw a post that Desiree had shared showing World War II soldiers on D-Day with a quote saying, “Courage does not mean you are not afraid.  It means you do it anyway.”

                My heart racing, I went on AZD’s page where I saw a post of a poster of a very attractive blonde girl, Jackie Boyland of the sorority saying, “I can’t imagine what it’s like to hear your child has autism.  Now you know your life is changed forever.  It happens every twenty minutes.  In a split second, tomorrow will never be the same.”

                That was it. I went to my review, and I wrote:

 I am a twenty-five year old man, have a job, and can speak perfectly, yet according to Alpha Xi Delta, I am a speechless six year old who is consistently having tantrums.  That is their basic overall impression of Autistic (yes, I say autistic because I’m not ashamed) like me.  You won’t hear anything about Jerry Seinfeld or Daryl Hannah who have all claimed to be autistic.  You never see any other type of information from them or their partner Autism Speaks.  I believe that to believe their organizations message of curing autism, you have to believe one of two things: either that autism prevents one from living a happy, fulfilling life; or that it somehow makes your personhood less than that of non-autistic people.  I along with other autistic activists like Lydia Brown, Amy Sequenzia, Temple Grandin and so on, show that is not true.  Some of us can’t speak or live up to conventional markers of success, but we can contribute far more than AXiD or AS gives us credit for.  None of AXiD’s money that it has raised has helped autistics live fully independent lives with their current condition as I am able to do now, but support eugenic research on autism akin to what has happened to Down syndrome for so many years.  Look it up on Autism Speaks tax returns on their own website.  Autism Speaks and their partners have done this by using material that portrays autism to be the equivalent of a car wreck or being struck by lightning.  We deserve better than that.  And all the while, AS includes no autistic people in its board or governing decisions in becoming the most trusted name in autism politics.  AXiD will not give you information or services geared towards helping autism, only demonizing stigma and propaganda.  They probably just looked for the first thing they found when they looked up autism to be their philanthropy so they could have a charity to be recognized without having to put in any effort, as there are so many other organizations with less harmful spending, membership, and informational qualities, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, the Autism Women’s Network, the Autism Society of America, and the Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership.  In short, AXiD does the bare minimum in trying to help the autism world.  You won’t find any information, material, or services here: just stigmatizing, infantilizing, rhetorical propaganda.  I give this organization one star because I can’t give it zero.

                Suddenly my heart was racing. I was ready for all the hate mail and threats from AZD members. I was just glad they didn’t exist at UCM, or I would have been afraid to go out at night alone for fear of being assaulted. I thought though, that if I was the first to do it, other autistics who may want to speak up against AZD’s support of Autism Speaks might be able to do it to. I got back to my dorm, and called my granddad, telling him what I did. He said it was good I finally did that. I told him about Jackie Boyland’s quote, and he thought it was laughable, and he agreed that Sandy Edwards, AZD national president, is probably just a young twenty-year-old who doesn’t know how to lead a group, so rather than deal with criticism, she censors everyone in her sorority who doesn’t agree with her. He had told me that his dad always said the problem with fraternities and sororities is that they are run by nineteen-year-olds, and he experienced that problem when he was in his old college fraternity. I did agree to send him a copy of my review and my Scream through e-mail.

                I spent most of the rest of the afternoon drawing, completing my picture of the Autistic Scream. Then I went out into the lounge and worked on some more drawings, including two from The Tales of Aragorn and Arwen from the appendices of The Lord of the Rings of Aragorn as a ranger before the events of The Lord of the Rings, while I sat out there with Josiah, Josh, and Katie. Katie saw me drawing and asked to see some of my work. I handed me sketchbook to her, still unready to show the Autistic Scream to just anyone yet, but as she flipped through the pages, they all saw the picture and thought it was just The Scream, not noticing the unique cultural nuances to it, for which I was grateful. I liked and trusted the three of them very much but knew few of the world outside the autistic community knew about the controversy of Autism Speaks and did not feel able to explain it to them. They did see all my drawings though and were very impressed with my work.

                I called my dad that night, and told him about what I did today, and he understood why I was nervous. He laughed when I told him the quote by the blonde AZD girl, and thought, like my granddad, that perhaps these young girls did not have the leadership skills to deal with criticism of AS within their organization and agreed that AZD’s support of AS was different from that of Home Depot or Dollar General because these girls would not be part of AZD for their whole lives. I did feel some comfort knowing that AZD’s post of that blonde girl’s quote had only gotten two likes, and their posts about AS in general got less than forty likes, so perhaps moral for AS was low in AZD. Still, it was with great anxiety that I went on Facebook on my phone, but saw to my relief, that I had not yet gotten any “hate mail” from angry AZD members.

The next day after meditation and prayers, I finished working on The Scream, closing my sketchbook right before Jacob came and joined me at my table, who I was glad to see. While I showered, I got a call on my cellphone, and when I got out, I saw it was from an unknown number in San Francisco and decided not to return the call. Then I worked on writing down lists of words for autism-themed crossword puzzles and word searches and got the idea to make an Autistic Mahjong set, and I got the idea we could give these word searches and crossword puzzles to people who might potentially join the group to get them to rethink embracing their condition while I saw Sara walk by, leaving to go home. Afterwards, inspired by Timber Hawk’s (author of Buddhist Boot Camp) advice to express gratitude on Facebook, I wrote a post on Facebook in the spirit of Thanksgiving saying what I was grateful for in the world of autism, trying to feel better about the situation of the autistic community as it was just then, and it went:

Autism post in the spirit of the holiday-three things I am grateful for: I am grateful to have a wonderful Autistic Self-Advocacy Network chapter in my hometown of Greater Kansas City, whose members are so kind to me and supportive, and whose meetings I can attend on-line while I am away at school at Central Missouri. I am grateful for my enormous help and support being given, at home and at school, for starting a student organization and social network for autistic students called the Autistic Student and Peer Organization. I know because of these groups that far-reaching grassroots impact is possible when you have people committed to doing the job. I am grateful for my abilities I have been given and the support in starting my two autism blogs, Ben's Blog and The Autistic Dharma. The support I have received from my friends, family, and colleagues lets me know that a group of people, no matter how small, unknown, or unheard of, can make a lasting impact in the world that can affect us for the rest of our lives. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

 

That afternoon, I went down to the Union bookstore and got some more mechanical pencils.  Then I went down to Crazy Dog’s enjoying some honey barbecue wings as a reward for my standing up to Alpha Xi Delta. I got back and did another food journal entry for my Anthropology of Food class. I also saw eight people, including Alexandra, Mckinsey, Ari Ne’eman president of ASAN national, and my dad like the post. Then I wrote down some more poems. After that I made another coaster from receipts. I also talked to my granddad, and he said he and my grandmom were both very impressed with my Facebook post, thinking it was a nice refresher from a world where people are always complaining. After running and talking to my dad, I hung my wind chime up. After that I took a walk down to Break Time and got another Snapple cap from my drink.

The next morning, I saw my post that I had written for National Philanthropy Day on ASAN-KC’s Facebook page, just as I had written it, going:

National Philanthropy Day-Why the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network Matters on it

National Philanthropy Day is a day set aside on November 15 every year, signed into law in 1986 by President Ronald Reagan, to “recognize the great contributions of philanthropy—and those people active in the philanthropic community—to the enrichment of our world,” according to the Association of Fundraising Professionals.  In this respect, the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization run by and for autistic people, especially should be recognized among the most well-known faces of the autism community today by people celebrating NPD.  Our organization, founded in 2006 by two college students, Ari Ne’eman and Scott Robertson, is a response to social inequities among autistics, including restraint and seclusion in public schools, underrepresentation in employment and higher education, abuse by police forces, and discrimination in receiving medical treatments, including life-saving operations due to the belief that disabled lessare less of a priority than the non-disabled.  Some of our contributions include the ASAN Toolkit for Advocates on Ending Discrimination in Organ Transplantation, the ASAN Toolkit for Advocates on Health Care and Transitioning into Adulthood, and the ASAN Toolkit on Improving Home and Community-Based Services, which can all be found on their website autisticadvocacy.org.  On that note, ASAN shows great initiative to provide concrete, discernable differences for autistic individuals compared to many larger, more publicized autism organizations.  I believe it particularly deserves recognition among the autism community.

ASAN’s selflessness in utilizing their resources for communities and families is evident because all of our executives are volunteers, with exception of President Ne’eman, who earns $65,000 a year in Washington D.C., running ASAN as a full-time job.  Meanwhile, ASAN played a major role in the Autism Collaboration, Accountability, Research, Education, and Support (CARES) Act of 2014.  Originally the Combat Autism Act, ASAN and their collaborators, such the Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership, prompted the name change, believing the term “combat autism” was too stigmatizing.  We have also encouraged legislators to push for more autistic representation in the bill’s research and more funding for autism services (originally only 2.4% for children and 1.5% for adults).  Clearly ASAN has been a real asset to address the future prospects for autistic individuals that concern their families and loved ones. 

As an active member of ASAN’s Kansas City chapter, I feel my opinions and ideas about issues that affect me the most are not discounted because I am autistic.  Autistics, parent, ally, and professional of autistic individuals are all allowed to take part in the meetings of ASAN regardless of whether they are verbal, use a type-pad, or any other form of communication.  Autistics, like me, know I that at our meetings I can be openly and unapologetically autistic, which I rarely feel anywhere else.  It is a breath of fresh air and a truly liberating experience.  Here, people recognize my individual worth, dignity, and rights without the need for labels like “high-functioning” or “low-functioning,” which is what philanthropy is about.  Today let’s be true to its spirit and recognize the desire to improve other’s well-beings.

Joy spread throughout my body. Quickly, I put in the comment section, “Thank you, everyone for your support. Teigan commented back saying, “Well written.” I shared it on my Facebook page, and soon Barbara shared it on her page, saying, “UCM’s very own Ben Edwards.” My mom also commented on my post saying, “Wonderful, Ben.  As always, I’m proud of you and your activism.”

 

 

Aragorn in the land of Harad, in the far south of Middle Earth

Aragron in Moria

 

 

 

Labor Day Weekend 2014

On the first day of Labor Day weekend, I went to Mickey Surplus’s army surplus store with my dad, Cam, and Nora, where I ended up getting a paracord bracelet making kit, a length of nearly one hundred feet of paracord, and a military can opener, which I assumed could also be used as a bottle opener when I didn’t have my pocketknife due to going through airport security to get home from Colorado. While I was there, I also got four calls from the same number. When I got home, I returned the call and found out they were from Paige, the new THRIVE student, who called me to wish me a happy Labor Day. Later on, I went to Starbuck’s as I had done so often before the summer started and read more of Water Touching Stone. I also found some time to talk to my friend Tyler. I also make another one of my leather braided bracelets for the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City’s silent auction to be held in November. I did that again the next day and got a soda from Better Cheddar, from which I got a new bottle cap for my collection. I also ate dinner at the Hereford House with my dad, Cam, and my grandparents. The next day I went back to UCM and continued one with my life as a student.

Back to School Mule-Style

I scooped Peter’s litter box, read my Lonely Planet Turkey and Central Asia books, and cuddled Peter before my dad picked me up and took me to Warrensburg. He gave me his presents, a Native American flute and a build-your-own ocarina kit, and I opened Mom’s, a Leadville, Colorado shirt, and Uncle Todd’s, Aunt Laura’s, Abby’s, and Eric’s, a book on paper art and an ecofriendly sketchbook. Then Dad and I ate at Crazy Dog’s before he took me to UCM, and we got all unpacked. After that, I got my room all organized. Then I made another bracelet from leather, as I had promised to make every day before the silent auction for the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City. I also did some more of my word search from Colorado. I went to the mandatory floor meeting where we introduced ourselves, and told everyone our major, hometown, and hoe old we were. When it was my turn I said, “My name is Ben Edwards, I’m from Mission Hills, my major is Cultural Studies, and I’m twenty-five years old, which I just turned today.”

             Right away, everyone started clapping and singing, “Happy birthday to you.”

Mardy and I filled out our roommate agreement form. Then we went to the Mule Kick-off where I saw my friend from middle school and friend on the autism spectrum Ian Sneid, I talked to him and during that time I learned he was living in South Yeater hall, and I told him about the group.

             “Anyway, if you want to come, you’re welcome to,” I told him.

             “I’ll think about it,” he said.

I also met Paige there, a new THRIVE student with Down syndrome. Mardy and I then went to the THRIVE hall and met Blair, another new THRIVE student with Down syndrome, and hung out with her, Mary, her roommate, and Jade. Afterwards we went to see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty on the lawn of the Central Baptist Student Union.

The next day I had breakfast with a new student in Ellis who is getting to know new people here.  Then I read over some more of my Lonely Planet Turkey book. Afterwards I had lunch with some people from my hall. I also went to the library where I saw several birthday wishes for me on my Facebook page. To show my autistic pride, I changed my Facebook name from ‘Ben Edwards’ to ‘Ben Edwards Au’ in reference to the chemical symbol for gold, which are the first two letters in ‘autistic,’ prompting members of the autistic community to launch “Light it Up Gold,” as opposed to Autism Speaks’ medical autism model based Light it Up Blue, and for many autistics on Facebook, including several of my autistic Facebook friends to add Au to the ends of their names to.  It would take sixty days for the change to take effect. Then I ate dinner with the people on my hall including Drake, a tall dark young man with a crew cut; Alex, a tall black man; Josiah with dark spikey hair; Cameron, a short dark-haired girl; and Sara with bright shoulder-length blond hair. I got back and talked to Granddad, who liked my idea for the Facebook name, thinking it was a good idea just like my porcupine picture. Then I went to the hypnotist with people from my hall where I go to know several of them.  After I got back, I went down to Break Time and got some beers.

The next day began both my Anthropology of Food class and my American Renaissance class. Before my Creative Problem-Solving class, which started fifteen minutes after the latter of the two other classes finished, Hillary texted me saying she needed help finding her two o’clock class, which took place right across the hall from my American Renaissance class, so I waited for her near the Rec Center and took her back up to that hall to help her find her class with five minutes left until my next class started, making it there just in time. After I got out of class I got out of class and bought a new poster of Albert Einstein and a print of Andy Warhol, two individuals reputed to be autistic. I got back and spent some time with Hillary and Mardy before running on the treadmill for half an hour, trying not to start at my usual time of about an hour after three whole months without running. I got back and got a birthday card and check from my grandmother. Then I hung out with Hillary and Mardy.  Hillary left temporarily to take care of some business, during which time I made another bracelet. Hillary got back and she, Mardy, and I hung out, sharing a beer with them and going down to Break Time to get some ice cream with them, during which time we agreed to walk together for a bit of time every day, and I got some more Altoids.

The next day I went down to the Ward Edwards building and got my laptop registered with the UCM wi-fi. Then I deleted several of my old e-mails and sorted them a little bit.  Afterwards I went to help Hillary get her printer set up. Later I got two new prints, a print of Andy Warhol’s depiction of Marilyn Monroe and a print of Johnny Deep from one of his films, both of these individuals having been believed to be autistic. Then I got back and turned two of the now empty printer cartridges from Hillary’s printer into paper weights one with a Jesus drawing and the other of Muhammad Ali and started on one of Mother Teresa. After that I went to dinner with my hall where I almost think I spotted Jess checking me out. I got back and finished my paper weight depicting Mother Teresa, and then did another one depicting Gandhi. After that I ran on the treadmill for forty minutes. I got back and talked to Dad. Then I got a call from Mom saying my tuition had been paid. Afterwards I went to the library and checked out Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Nature for my America Renaissance class, and some Lonely Planet books on Kenya and Tanzania.

The next day I read a lot of Nature after my Anthropology of Food class while drinking some coffee. After my last class I went to the Union computer lab where I happened to run into Maria, who said she saw my blogs and Facebook page during the summer and thought they were very interesting. I also learned she was living in East Ellis and was no longer working as a CA. I sat next to her in the lab while I took the syllabus quiz for my Creative Problem-Solving class and e-mailed a list of textbooks I need to my dad. I got back to Ellis where I had dinner with people from my hall. After dinner I made another bracelet. Then I worked more on making Facebook pages for my blogs.  After that I ran on the treadmill for about an hour while I read more of Buddhist Boot Camp, which taught me about how power self-talk is, like when I think I cannot change the world for autistics with Autism Speaks in the way. I got back and started teaching myself Arabic from the Rumi book I got. Then I went to Break Time where I got some more beers and Doritos.

The next morning, I ate breakfast with Shay, Alex, and Anna, during which Anna asked me about the group and said she was the new THRIVE student organization president and the organization would call me about speaking to them about my group. I went to an appointment with Barbara Mayfield, the Autism Spectrum Support Group advisor from the Office of Accessibility Services. During the meeting, we thought we would ask Tom, an Autism Spectrum Support Group member and THRIVE student who was the only one to come to most of our meeting last year, to be our vice president, especially as it may attract some THRIVE students. I of course also made another bracelet. The next day I had breakfast with Anna and dinner with my hall. I also finished reading Buddhist Boot Camp.  After that I went down to Hasting’s for the first time in a while and got the current issue of Sufi magazine, Nobel: A Century of Prize Winners, a new translation of The Art of War, and Tai Chi Classics. Then I went to Walgreen’s and got some shampoo and a notebook for my Creative Problem-Solving class. After that I went to Crazy Dog’s and got a new bottle cap for my collection from my drink. 

The next morning, I had breakfast with Jess and several other people from my hall and in Ellis. After that I went down to the sheltered workshop, where I saw some hay barrels that I had never noticed before on my way, picking up several recyclables and repurposables along the way and recycling all the recyclables I brought and found two new bottle caps for my collection, and on my way back I picked up and recycled more recyclables and found more repurposables. Then I made another bracelet. I also had dinner with people from my hall. After that I went to Crazy Dog’s where I got two new bottle caps for my collection and realized twelve reasons why people at UCM might not be coming to the Autism Spectrum Support Group meetings:

1.       They aren’t willing to admit they are autistic.

2.       They’re worried how other people will react or view them if they find out they’re at an autism group.

3.       They don’t want others to know they’re autistic.

4.       They don’t like the idea of being in a group that is autism-based.

5.       They’re used to social rejection.

6.       They’re used to social isolation.

7.       They have some lack of social skills

8.       They don’t know anyone at the group.

9.       They don’t know anyone at school.

10.   They don’t have their parents for backup in this social situation.

11.   Unlike in community colleges, the people who might shun them for being in an autism group are always living near them.

12.   They’re worried about how this group may portray autistics, having seen material from various professionals and groups like Autism Speaks portraying autism as a weakness.

13.   They are so embroiled in their special interests, and don’t want to leave them behind.

After thinking of this, I realized the solution may be to pair people up in twos several times instead of one as we had done earlier at UCM, each time with different people, though I then remembered doing it with several people at JCCC. That way they could get to know people there and make friends more easily and have another reason to come to the group and meet people who share their interests. Later I got a call from Hillary asking me for some help with her Composition I homework, and she came up here and I helped her write the paper.

On Monday morning I read several more pages of The Art of War. After that I went to the bank and got some quarters. Then I found out where my Cinematography class is. After that I e-mailed my dad the name of the textbook I would need for my Cinematography class. I also went down to the Union bookstore and found out they were out of Selected Works that I needed for my American Renaissance class. I got back to the dorm and went to the front desk to get some envelopes and stamps, where I saw Anna and Brittany, but found out they didn’t have envelopes, so I went down to the packing store to get a stamp and an envelope. I got back and worked on drawing the front of a Thank You note for my grandmother for her birthday check, since I didn’t have an actual card to send. Then I drank some coffee while I read a lot of the reading for my American Renaissance class, which gave me an appreciation for nature writing myself. 

Later I went to my Cinematography class, where I learned about how in classic Cinematography, shadows will be cast in darker scenes, and powerful people might be in the center of the frame, while less powerful people might be to the left, and I thought this class could really reawaken my appreciation for film. Our first assignment was to take two photographs of an object, one from a normal angle, and one from a more unusual angle, to show how angles influenced the mood of the picture. After I got back and ate dinner, I tried frantically to get onto the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network-KC’s Google Hangout for the meeting, but after trying for over half an hour to get on, Hillary got Josh and he tried to help me get on for almost twenty minutes until we found out I hadn’t gotten the invitation to the meeting by mistake. After that I ran on the treadmill to try and relax, while reading more of The Art of War. I got back and talked to Tyler after he called until I insisted that I was exhausted and stressed, and I needed to go. I got back and helped Hillary with her Composition I homework. After that I made another bracelet. Then I got several of my textbooks in the mail, along with a birthday card from my Uncle John, Aunt Nini, and cousins Scott and Tim.

                The next day I ran into my old friend Antwon from last year as I was heading to class, and we caught up a bit and I got his number and planned to text him mine and see him later. I read more of my Creative Problem-Solving book and realized a lot of the strategies for businesses it mentioned paralleled The Art of War’s philosophy. After my last class I got back and finished my thank you note for my grandmother. Then I went to dinner with my hall and Chic Filet, where Josh assured me the difficulties I was experiencing over the conference would be resolved. After that I got some more beers (or rather hard cider) at one of the gas stations. I got back and heard back from Teigan and we got it so I was able to help out at the JCCC Autism Across the Life Span Conference. I also made another bracelet.  As I was walking to the Rec Center I ran into Sara holding a dog on a leash standing next to a short stocky man in a bright red shirt. She smiled and said, “Hey, Ben. How are you?”

                “Good, how are you?”

                “Good, just walking my dog,” she said breathing heavily.

                “That’s good,” I said. “Well, I’ll see you around.”

                “Bye,” she said smiling.

                I saw her again as I was going down the stairwell to Late Night, she was walking up. I said hello and she said, “Hey, Ben. What are you doing?”

                “Just going down to Late Night.”

                “That’s cool. Just relaxing?”

                “Yeah.”

                “That’s good. Well, have a good night.”

                The next day I met with Barbara Mayfield, the Autism Spectrum Support Group advisor from UCM’s Office of Accessibility Services about the group. I told her my theories on why people weren’t showing up to the group, and she agreed I could be right about them. During that time, we came up with the idea to plan activities for after our pair-up sessions, get together THRIVE students for activities to help get them into the group, and to meet with the THRIVE staff to help that happen and to get THRIVE students involved. I said sure, and he told me they would probably get together to practice sometime soon. I went to the Lovinger computer lab and worked on putting a presentation together for Disability Awareness Week, when I got a call from the bookstore saying they had the textbook I needed, and I could come down and get it. I went down there and got it and a fine-tipped sharpie and my arabesque origami box. Then I went down to the packing store, where I ended up getting eight new stamps for my collection along with two envelopes. As I left the Union, I ended up going back to walk with Hillary and Mardy to the bank. I got back and mailed my letter to my grandmother. Then I finished my arabesque box. After that I went to dinner with my hall, sitting next to Jess there, and got the idea to make another bottle cap sign that says “Wake up,” and to carve some of my wooden blocks into a box (for myself). I then made another bracelet for the Silent Auction. After that I talked to my granddad.

                After my first class the next day I went to the library and checked out an edition of Walden. I got to the cafeteria and read a lot of it. Later Mardy and I agreed to ride home the next day together for Labor Day weekend. I went down to Late Night again that night trying to relax and ran into Sara and her friend Cameron.

                “Hey, Ben, how are you doing?” Sara asked me.

                “I’m good, and you?”

                “Oh, I’m doing pretty good,” she said sighing and nodding her head.

                “That’s good, and how are you?” I said to Cameron.

                “I’m good,” she said.

                “Well, I’ll see you later, Ben,” said Sara.

                The next day Mardy and I drove home together. I got home and turned several straws into beads. Then I decided to turn all my straws from now on into lampshades and started doing it. Afterwards I read a little bit of my Lonely Planet Germany book while I petted Peter. Then my mom, Dave, and I went to Elsa’s and celebrated my birthday where I told them about school and looking for the right girl, and she said if I keep my mind open to all possibilities, something will happen. When we got back, I made another bracelet while waiting for everyone to be ready to celebrate my birthday dinner. We celebrated it with triple layered chocolate caramel cake with vanilla and caramel cone ice cream while I got four new shirts, including a Mount Washington shirt and a salmon Winnipesauke shirt, as well as a book called The Uprooted: The Epic Stories of Great Migrations that Made the American People.