Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Beyond the Ides of March


On the Sunday morning before the end of Spring Break, my dad came to pick me up at 12 and take me back to school. We went to Crazy Dog’s where I again got a new bottle cap for my collection. When I got back I unpacked my stuff. The next morning I ate lunch with Connor, Anna, and Amanda after that.  Then I worked on my boxes made from Lord of the Rings cards. Then I e-mailed Ellen Whitt to tell her that I recognized her name on an e-mail about the girl’s deaths from her name on the Friend of Autism Pledge and I wanted to wish her my condolences, telling her I was awake a whole night for which I cried for part of after I heard about it and know several people who are very dear to me who knew the girls and that I teared up at the vigil when I heard Jennifer was to be an aunt. I said that I had the pleasure of meeting the girls at the THRIVE formal as a former THRIVE student and how I appreciated what they and their organization did for THRIVE such as the formal and Zumba, as a former THRIVE student and autistic person, was at the vigil with a former THRIVE students, a current one who is also the president of the THRIVE student organization, and two other friends who have disabilities, how equal access to education is not yet available to people with disabilities, and I shared a link about the vigil on THRIVE’s Facebook page saying I thought it deserved to be on their for what the girls and their organization did with approval from director Joyce Downing.  I said that I am pleased she took the time to consider signing the Friend of Autism Pledge and that she is always welcome at the group to try and further her work for people such as the THRIVE students, and if she wishes to get involved to contact Barbara Mayfield asking her to forward my invitations to her and tell her I told her to ask her, or that any potential volunteer for the group from ASA in the social work, psychology, special education nursing, and communication disorder programs are welcome to contact me to try and get involved, and that I sent her and her sisters my love in this time and believe to I speak on some level for my group, THRIVE, and the whole of the autistic and disabled community when I do on some level, and hope her vacation has been as been enjoyable to the fullest extent possible, whatever, that may be, in this time.  I realized that I would show her I care about her enough to take the time to write this e-mail, showed her I was thinking of her and observant of her, what the girls meant to me, that their and ASA’s work with THRIVE is appreciated, that people within the THRIVE community to care about ASA’s plight, and shown her how other people share her and other’s grief, and it felt really good and relieved so much of the feelings I have had recently. I had also seen Laci share a picture of her and some her sisters laughing, saying they spend half their time on the hall doing that.
                I realized that when Laci posted that post saying that she and her sisters spend half their time in the Panhellenic talking and laughing, she may have been saying, indirectly, that she and her sisters are dealing with the deaths of those girls very well, and I need not worry about them.  I thought of the phrase “love me the way I deserve to be loved,” and instantly I could see a face very clearly, without even trying.  I read through a lot of the reading for tomorrow in my Early American Literature class, deciding I would get myself the book The Divine Madman as a reward if I finished it before class tomorrow.  After that Mardy and I went down to housing and found out I need to fill out a housing agreement form before I can pick my room.  He helped me do it, during which time he admired the view from my room and thought he’d love living in this room, instead of the one in North Ellis.  Later I filled out the ticket form for the Down Syndrome Dance.  After that I saw that The Autist Dharma had gotten twenty views in one day in the past week, and I saw on Facebook that Mom loved a post from the Autism Women’s Network from a parent saying she would does not wish for a neurotypical version of her child, after which she said, “Shine a light on that,” which basically referred to Autism Speaks saying, “Shine a light on autism.”  It convinced me that Mom really does love me and respect me the way I am, respects my ideas about the autism community.  I also shared a few more links on Facebook, one of which has already gotten three likes.  During dinner I ate with Maria, Casey, Antwon, Robert, and Adrian.  I also realized that for many the fact that I care and love the autistic community like I would my country or religion really comforts people.  I read all but two of the pages for my Early American Literature class while I was on the treadmill.  When I got back I made some more heart-shaped pins from straws and at Late Night I turned several more plastic bags into yarn. 
                The next morning I started my meditation without having my mala nearby, so I used the jar of bottle caps on my desk that I got from Those Were the Days to help me recite my mantras.  I took a good miksang photo after that of the bottle caps from the jar on my desk which I used to help me count my mantras.  Then at brunch I made another flower from a straw, saw Caitlin shared one of my dyslexia links from Horizon’s Facebook page, that Stacy, Stephanie, and Brittany liked my AD/HD link from their page, and that Horizon was doing an Horizon Academy (HA) story of the month thing by students, former students, parents of students, and faculty members, and I decided to share mine, realizing I could do it really well.  I learned that Aragorn was lived in Rivendell until he was twenty, ten years after Bilbo went to Rivendell while returning from the quest of Erebor, so I is quite likely Bilbo met him, and I learned of an on-line movie that depicts the lives of Aragorn’s ancestors leading up to his childhood called Born of Hope.  After that I made several more beads from straws, and stored and sorted them in several of my Altoids containers, and made some more flowers and heart-shaped pins.  Then I went down to the Union bookstore and got a calendar and a receipt book, the former of which I made note of the due dates in my class, and the latter where I kept track of today’s purchases.  I took some good picture prints of my pins and then made some more beads.  Afterwards I worked on my bags woven from bags.  Then I read a lot of Tuesday’s reading for my World Archaeology class.  I shared several links of Facebook, which got liked very quickly and invited several friends of mine to like one or two pages.  After that I ordered some basswood on Amazon for whittling.  I got back and found out an ice cream social was taking place in the Ellis TV Lounge and decided to do that instead for the treadmill, which gave me some time to start my snack wrapper collage of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  Then I went to the ice cream social and saw Antwon and met a girl there named Amy.  Afterwards I went to Late Night where I saw that several more people liked my links on Facebook, and one of them accepted one of my invitations.  I worked on wall pieces made from toilet paper rolls. I started watching Born of Hope, and then I walked down to use the bathroom, walking past a girl I did not think I knew, saying, “Excuse me,” she said, “Sorry, Ben,” I thought, “That was weird. How does she know my name?”I talked to Ryan after that and learned he knows several Alpha Sigma Alpha and several Alpha Omicrom Pi girls and The Lords of the Rings and The Hobbit movies and I told him about Born of Hope, and we agreed to get together and watch it on Saturday.  I also learned that an Alpha Sigma Alpha girl was interested in him, and while he said that he didn’t want to date anyone right now to focus on his career, I told him those ideas can always change in an instant.  I sorted some recycling afterwards and when I left, I realized how great Ryan’s advice to hang in there for those affected by the girl’s deaths was because if you can last for a certain amount of time, time will heal these wounds.  I realized that Laci probably put a lot of those Facebook photos of she and her friends enjoying themselves after I posted on how I was so full of grief after the girl’s deaths because people I love so much knew them and were affected by it, as a way of easing my grief by letting me know she was ok.  I realized that if my friends like Caitlin and Stacy, who never went to my high school, which I at least know for sure with Caitlin as I know she went to Shawnee Mission East, then it seems I’m becoming quite the advocate for Horizon on Facebook, adding to my credibility as an autism advocate.
                On Friday night I saw The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug again.  On Saturday morning I During breakfast I realized while standing in line for pancakes how it must be to work at Suxedo where you stand on your feet all that time, as I usually regard breakfast time on weekends as my relaxation time.  I also worked on a picture frame made from chips bags.  Then I made another flower from a straw.  After that I took out my trash and recycling.  Later I read the rest of the reading for my Film Appreciation class.  I sat with Mary at dinner later and afterwards I saw I got my basswood (though wrapped in an inordinate amount of paper when it wasn’t something like say, fine china), and carved an Indian Om from it.  I worked on my plastic bag yarn on the treadmill and after I got back I made another coaster from receipts.  Ryan ended up not being unable to watch the movie Saturday due to school work, so we decided to reschedule it.  I realized Bob could maybe break his smoking habit by having a pack or two around him, but they are filled with sweets and such, so he would always have a pack around and wouldn’t feel like he needs to get more, but at the same time there wouldn’t be any cigarettes for him to smoke. 
                On Sunday I also watched and read all the material for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class this week and was able to do the posting and two responses, which I felt were very good, though I posted them after 3, which my instructor said is the deadline for full credit though he’s ignored that rule before.  I realized I can be totally engrossed in talking insightfully, clearly, and with great detail about the world of film and then move on to doing so about democratization on Africa.  I saw a film which talked about a woman selling bags from Africa in a for profit business, which was deliberate because she wanted to show that fair trade and business can go hand-in-hand.  A filmmaker in that video (who is white by the way) had one of his hit films shown at the Pan-African Film Festival, and he said he wanted to show people that successful films can do something like be accurate or something.                   On Monday, I finally finished my article summary for my Early American Literature class. I also gotten to do some reading on DIY yarn projects, and learned about making old t-shirts into yarn, which I started with the t-shirts I’ve collected, and that you can pull on it to twist it. I read all this while I drank a macchiato and ate a bagel from Einstein’s with the two hundred dollars Mom agreed to transfer from my Missouri bank account to my U.S. Bank account today when she got back from Philadelphia, so I would get it today. I saw her first post for her beekeeping blog, which I told her about how I thought it was great. I also complimented the author of The Third Glance, who I will mention in my post on what I plan to do for Autism Acceptance Month, on her post about how she plans to post more this month. I also got some more Doritos, fruit slices, and an Snapple (no new cap though) tonight, walking to help clear my head, and picked up several recyclables on my way back, and throughout the day I took several more miksang photos and made several more heart-shaped pins from straws, one of which, a colorful one, I took a picture of with the reflection of light from a ceiling lamp on a table in the dining hall surrounding it so it looks like light’s shining from it, and I’ve studied for two fifty minute study blocks with a ten minute break in between to use the bathroom, and get a drink, for my World Archaeology test, which I found out is on Thursday and I’ve made an appointment for in the Testing Center. I also noticed that the Hank Hill yarn painting I’ve been doing looks an awful lot like me. 

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