Tests, Test, and More Tests

With a stressful long-term project finally out of my way, I spent the next afternoon reading a lot of the reading for my Early American Literature class. Later I went to the meeting which only Tom and Dr. Mayfield showed up for and I learned Dr. Mayfield saw my post on a man with autism married to a neurotypical woman and the challenges they faced and I realized it might be hard for some visual autistic people to learn to talk because you can’t see how they’re doing it from the outside of their body, unlike waving, and when you’re taught to have, you might have trouble with depth perception that makes you unsure of where your hands would be, or when you are shown how to dress yourself, when you see what someone is doing with a yellow shirt, you may not see that you are supposed to do the same thing with a blue shirt. Then I invited several of my Facebook friends to like the Autism Women’s Empowerment Project. After a few minutes I saw Michael, a friend of mine from JCCC, had liked my post on the arbitrariness of autistic classifications. Later I talked to my granddad, and he said that I changed his whole view on autism in just one night after I told him about how an autistic person can have trouble knowing how to put on a blue shirt based on how someone puts on a yellow one, and that I’ve done my part for autism. While I ran, I learned to create a poem by writing the feelings you feel from a line of another poem chosen at random and found a poem by an autistic woman whose line I used to help inspire me and I started writing about how I feel about taking a risk and loving someone who does not know the fact of having my condition. When I got back, I talked to my dad who advised me to at least put out meetings for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Groups even if hardly anyone comes. I finished that poem at Late Night and then wrote in my gratitude journal. After that I saw Teresa liked my post on the arbitrary classifications of autism. Then I took a shower to keep myself awake long enough to write this, during which time I decided to get myself one of those sketchbooks and brushes from the Union bookstore to do some watercolors and calligraphy. I also helped Sinho and Jai with some English questions. 

                The next morning, I learned about beach rock photos on a website and saw an interesting quote on there about how beach rocks teach us all to keep an open mind, because something we originally might reject may later become our favorite thing. I also read more of the reading for my Early American Literature class. Then I learned there is a test this week in my Film Appreciation class. After that I finished the rest of my reading for my Early American Literature class.  During my World Archaeology class, I heard about how Catalhoyuk is a place of artistic inspiration and a spiritual center and thought I might visit it in junction with a bearing witness trip to Turkey about the Armenian Genocide. Afterwards saw Becky working at a body acceptance project where I got myself weighed on a scale that only tells you good things about your body, and mine said “Lovely” and I got a picture for them to put to Facebook. Then I got a watercolor paintbrush, a Chinese bamboo brush, and a notebook for my watercolors and calligraphy. After that I read a poster in the Union on stress, which said that people who view stressful situations as an opportunity to grow are more likely to avoid some of the symptoms of stress. Then I sorted some recycling afterwards. I alsosaw on Facebook that my family friend Bob Tucker, who also went to the Pathless Land, liked my post about the arbitrariness of autism classifications and put, “Well explained and easily understood.  You are a brave lad my friend.” I then invited the rest of my Facebook friends to like the Autism Women’s Empowerment Project. I talked to my granddad who said that Bob Tucker, a real professional-a retired psychotherapist-and doesn’t compliment every Facebook post like that, and that I am continuing to gain credibility. I also realized later on that my sudden loss of passion for screenwriting seemed to stem from not feeling as connected to my characters like I used to, and if I could fix that, I could probably get it back.   Afterwards I worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers. After running I made another hair pin from straws. Then I worked on a scrapbook with a cover made from a chips bag. I also went to Late Night where I saw Ryan, who I sat with, and he told me he would e-mail me about the next THRIVE meeting next week or tomorrow morning when he knew when it was. 

                I realized as I lay awake the next morning that even if a girl does not share my condition, she may find it amazing what I’ve had to deal with as a person with autism. After meditating, showering, and eating breakfast, I studied for two fifty minute study blocks for my World Archaeology class with a ten minute break in between to use the bathroom and get a drink. After that I took my Film Appreciation test and got a thirty-seven out of forty. Later when I got back to the dorm I got back and saw Elizabeth Wood from my Creative Writing class, who I was surprised to see remembered my name. Then I finished four more coasters made from paper plates made three more pencil cups from Pringles cans. I talked to Mom who asked about coming down tomorrow and I agreed, and she agreed to come at 11:30, and was impressed with how hard I was working. I got back and worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam, realizing what a good idea it was to tell a few people about the Friend of Autism Pledge, have them tell a few people, and for a certain amount of people they get to sign to give out environmentally friendly prizes. I took a shower to keep myself awake to write in my meditation journal. 

                The next morning, I ate breakfast with Connor from THRIVE. Then my mom came and brought my paper plates, Lost Years of Merlin books, and some clean pants. After that we went to the Egg Diner where I enjoyed a good grilled chicken and bacon sandwich, and Mom said that though she couldn’t connect with the characters in The Skull Mantra enough to get more than halfway through the book, she could tell there was a romance between Shan and Rebecca from the way the book described Rebecca’s hair flowing in the wind. Afterwards I made two more heart-shaped pins. Then I studied for my North American Indian class for two fifty minute study blocks with a ten minute break in between to use the bathroom and get a drink, during which I realized ways I could better answer Yelton’s questions on the test than I have on previous tests. After that I read more of the reading for my World Archaeology class and got more of the answers from the test out of it thus far. I also watched a documentary for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class where they talked about how the people in Ghana who produce our rice, chocolate, and gold are paid so poorly and work in such horrible conditions, and I thought, while some people may think it would cost us more for these products, that knife Dad got me from Sweden was made in a country where minimum wage and working condition laws are just as strict, if not more so than in the U.S., and that knife probably did not cost more than it would have otherwise, and got the idea to do a poem on that, and felt a little lonely from having two classes on-line, but more motivated to pursue a romantic relationship because of that.  I talked to my granddad afterwards, who said he saw Bob at the store recently and he was really impressed with my posting. I read an article and watched more of another documentary for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. I read more of Anthills of the Savanah while I ran. I got back and made another flower and heart-shaped pin. I talked to Dad afterwards and he said he was able to get my knife for only twenty dollars as these knives, Moran knives, are very famous around the world. Then I walked to the gas station, seeing Ryan and Oscar on my way, while Ryan said that he would e-mail me tomorrow or sometime soon about when the THRIVE group meets next. I got back and wrote in my meditation journal, during which time I read that when Uncle Ray saw the girl who would become the love of his life for the first time in his life while riding home on the bus, he knew “where he was going to sit, thinking back to how a girl or two always use to sit next to me in class in the past few semesters. I again took a shower to keep myself awake to write in my meditation journal. 

                After showering the next morning, I had breakfast with Connor, Oscar, Brian, and Autrey. Later I found out the next discussion post for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class isn’t due until the 2nd of March. After that I worked on my PowerPoint presentation. I studied for my World Archaeology class for two fifty minute study blocks with a ten minute break in between to use the bathroom and get a drink and understood the material fairly well and how to give my best answers on the questions, during which time I realized Horizon never really taught us how to study well when I was there, nor did Belinder of course, and that raising the $50 million dollars for special education services required by the Americans with Disabilities Act may require higher taxes, but it is also the law. I realized that even if we had to pay more for things from countries with as high standards of working conditions as we had, it wouldn’t be a whole lot when it’s stretched out over each product sold to the public, and chips are made in America and they hardly cost anything. I got back and I worked on my bag and my mandalas made from bags. Then I watched Vegucated for my Film Appreciation class, during which time I was inspired to eat more spinach leaves along with some nuts, which I hadn’t realized were there before, as there just leaves, and learned free-range doesn’t always mean cruelty-free. I read more of Anthill of the Savanah while running, before submitting my Film Appreciation paper. I got back and I sorted some recycling, while I got a Coke. Then I took a shower to help me stay awake to write in my meditation journal. I also realized how beer can be made in America without having to be outrageously expensive. 

                On Monday, after meditating and showering, I read more of Anthills of the Savanah up to the last three pages and it was really good.  During brunch I had a salad, or rather sunflower seed wrapped in spinach leaves, while I read more of Anthills of the Savanah.  After that I finished my book report on it. Afterwards I studied for my World Archaeology class for two fifty minute study blocks with a ten minute break in between to use the bathroom and get a drink. I got back and I did some laundry. I ate dinner with Ryan afterwards, who said he’d e-mail me soon and might even have the meeting for the THRIVE group be on Wednesday. After Ryan left, I ate dinner with Casey, Antwon, and Robert. When they left, I worked on a poem and realized that poetry, much like calligraphy, can help us appreciate the beauty of human language. While I ran on the treadmill I realized that much like with poetry, I just have to create an ending while having a middle and find a plot that connects the two. I got back and made another heart-shaped pin from straws. I also worked on my bag woven from Walmart bags.  After Late Night I read a lot of the reading for my Early American Literature class. Again, I took a shower to keep myself awake for my meditation journal, but I ended up deciding to save my entry for the next day. 

                The next morning, I read more of the reading for my Early American Literature class. Later I took my test down at the Testing Center, which I thought I did really well on and may even get an A on, and realized that giving people with disabilities, far from giving them unfair advantages, helps better test what they’ve learned. I got back and worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam. Then I went to Crazy Dog’s. I went and got my hair cut afterwards, tipping the barber an almost twenty-five percent tip. Then I got the current issue of National Geographic and Buddhadharma at Hasting’s. 

                After that I got some more shampoo and deodorant at Walgreen’s. I sorted and picked up some recyclables on my way back. I got back and made some more flowers and a heart-shaped pin. After that I worked on my bag woven from Walmart bags. Then I talked to Granddad who assured me I would know just what to say when I talk to the THRIVE group and always do and have it flow out of me so smoothly, and he complimented my writing ability again.  When I got back from running, I made another heart-shaped pin. Then I talked to my dad who thought that setting up receptacles in different halls for the stuff we use to make the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group door prizes was a good idea. I also went to Late Night where I learned about acrostic poems and saw some really good miksang photos, including good ones of leaves, like a wet one on a beach and one holding and floating in water, which inspired me to take some more of my own. I got back and took several great beach pebble photos with my pebbles from Washington, realizing they looked better than I thought they would, like a nature or beach scene. When Tyler texted me saying he wanted to create an avengers team of people with special needs, I told him it was a great idea. When he said that he wanted to make a team of all the people he loves, I told him that when you love someone, they are always there with you. Then he said he loves the people he loves unconditionally and always feels their presence, and I said so do I. Then I took a shower to keep myself awake to write in my meditation journal. I also realized that an inspirational quote would go well with these beach rock photos. 

                The next day I ate lunch with Megan. I also realized I have several good photos which I could use for Chinese paintings. After that I realized I might as well keep meetings going to keep Tom’s interest and scheduled one for next Wednesday. I also worked on my covers for my meditation journals and realized I could use some of the extra leather to make bracelets, including some braided ones. I also put all my recyclables bags on my shelf, put my textbooks in a box shelf on top of my microwave, my Altoids boxes on my windowsill, some of the stuff on my microwave on my new shelf, and my yarn paintings, poster, and plastic bags mandala next to my shelf with my recyclables and my room looked great. Then I made some more flowers and fixed a few of them. I later found out I was missing my bag with my earphones and flash drive. I went to Late Night where I sat with Autrey, Ryan, and Logan, while I started making the yarn for my bag woven from Walmart bags. I also met a girl in the main hall of Ellis named Marissa, who I got to know a little bit. 

                The next morning, I realized how much plastic bags in the landfill is a problem when I realized that plastic bags were the biggest among all my recyclables. I got the idea to use all the letters in my Warrensburg plastic bag mandala to make a Buddhist saying like “Be Present.” Later I worked on my lampshade made and made some more heart-shaped pins. I went to Walgreen’s and got Time magazine’s Civil Rights: The Movement for Equality and the Dream Today. Then I ate at Siam where I made another flower, and had a delicious Thai iced coffee. I also got a new quarter and nickel from my change. As I walked back, I picked up and sorted some more recycling. I got back and made some more flowers and heart-shaped pins. After that I read the reading for my Film Appreciation class, while eating some wings with some hot sauce on the side at Late Night. I learned that the next assignment for my Film Appreciation class isn’t due for full credit until Sunday at midnight, and that I got 100% on all the assignments I’ve turned in for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class, including my book report, which I got some good comments on, and realized if I managed to turn in the rest of them, I’d do fine. I also sent out the e-mails to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group about next Wednesday’s meeting. I got back and made another flower, and heart-shaped pin, and ended up deciding to save my meditation journal entry for that day for the next day. 

                The next day after meditating and showering, I ate lunch with Connor, and then Jai and Kim. Later I worked on my lampshade and found some new pebbles in the Ellis courtyard. Afterwards I made another heart-shaped pin, and then worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam. While running I read about how the samurai trained themselves in painting, poetry, calligraphy, and flower arranging. I got back and talked to my dad, during which time I realized that I feel my workload for the weekend is rather light compared to other weekends, or perhaps it’s just that I’m more used to my load now.

An Unexpected Journey of My Own

On the first day of the next week, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving time and after art class I drove to Einstein’s for lunch and the shoe store where I got some new shoes. We walked over to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Woodcarving magazine’s Whittling and Time magazine’s The Rise of Robots: How Smart Machines are Changing Our Lives and learned that robots can help us explore the deep sea and while robots may take some jobs, they will create new ones and save us money with robo cops both meaning we’ll have more money in our budget and the government can no longer use that as an excuse to discriminate against autistics. When I got home, I made some beads from straws, and I practiced my flute for half an hour and then took some pictures of some of my mom’s flowers. Then I talked to my granddad, and he seemed to think that making autism legislation would help autistic people and I talked to Tyler again and he said he was doing well and he talked to Hillary and found out she was doing well.

                The next day I drove my mom to the glass recycling bin adding ten more minutes to my driving time, the library where I got a Lonely Planet book on Rajasthan, Delhi, and Agra, adding ten more minutes to my driving times, then to the post office where I got a free periodical on stamp collecting, adding another ten minutes, then home, adding another five minutes. I worked on gluing my origami hearts made from receipts together, rode my bike for an hour, and wrote some poems while I sipped some macchiato at the Starbuck’s. As I got home, I realized that sacking involves space and can be a way to appreciate the hierarchy of heaven, earth, and man. I took some more pictures of my mom’s flowers then started working on turning beads into straws and I realized that while some may think that providing autistic people the right services would cost us money, it would also save us money that the problems autistic people not having the right services costs.

                I kept working on my beads made from straws and then I got a text. It said, “Hi Ben.  It’s Emily.” I texted her back saying, “Hi how are you?” She said, “Good and you?” I said, “Good.  What are you doing?” She said, “Just working.  What are you doing?” I said, “Working, arts and crafts, flute-playing, photography.” Then she sent a text saying, “I like you Ben.”

                I said, “Do you mean friendwise or otherwise?” She said, “Like I want you to be my bf or something you want at school but I wasn’t sure if you wanted the same thing.” Suddenly I just couldn’t think straight. Then I got a text from Hillary saying, “Emily Webb wants to date you.” Afterwards she sent me a text saying, “I think you should.  David Stillman [THRIVE student] thinks youd make a great couple.”

                I still wasn’t sure, and I texted Emily saying I thought she was beautiful, and I liked her friendship, but I didn’t want to rush into it and that maybe we should talk and grow closer first. Then I talked to my dad and told him I liked Emily, but I wanted to keep my options open. He said, "Well Ben you’re getting ahead of yourself. You should hit that bridge when you come to it, and it might not work out how you expected.”

                I said, “So if I want to date Emily, I should?”

                “Yes,” he said.

                Emily sent me a text later saying, “I’m going to bed.” Then I sent her a text saying, “Emily, screw taking it slowly. I think we should live for the moment and date. I want to date you and if you still want to date me tomorrow when I get off work, text me and let me know.” The next day on the way to work I realized like certain ikebana arrangements, the flowers may be far apart, but like Emily and I, they can come together to make something beautiful. When I got back home, I renewed my Lonely Planet Mongolia book and I saw a text from Emily saying, “I want to date you.” I said, “Me too.

                We called each other and talked. It felt very romantic, and I just felt so excited. I told her, “I love you.” 

She said, “I love you to.”  She also said that she would come down to UCM for Homecoming Weekend and sometimes comes down to Kansas City to see family members. 

                I told my granddad about Emily when he got to my house, and he was very excited for me and said he knew all along I’d find a relationship when I least expected it. He gave me the June 2013 issue of Smithsonian and we went to Winstead’s. Granddad said he was sure Emily was truly into me since a beautiful girl like her could probably get her pick of guys. We went to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Time magazine’s The 100 Most Influential People Who Never Lived with characters like Homer Simpson on the front cover, and a 2013 issue of Sacred Hoop magazine which had an article about a pilgrimage to Kathmandu and Celtic and Tibetan spirituality. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the Chakra meditation with the others and at the end I did the dedication of merit. I thought someone who loves me like Emily really was encouraging. I felt that on the issue of autism, people might say we’ve come a long way, but I feel we’ve only gone through the gates of Mt. Kilimanjaro National Park. We have yet to climb the mountain. My granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee afterwards and I took a picture of my cookie and my espresso.

                The next day I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving and I worked on my painting. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving and then I called Emily. I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.”

                I rode my bike for about an hour then got back and glued some of my origami hearts together. Then after writing in my dream journal, I worked on a tree commemorating Emily’s and my relationship by covering cardboard tubes with brown construction paper where I’d insert branches to hang my origami hearts. I refilled my medication and when I got it at Bruce Smith, I got a new bottle cap from my drink which I got for free due to a stocking and pricing error and being the first one to get it. Then I got back and called Emily and told her, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                Before I went to sleep that night, I got a call from my mom asking me to come with her to Village Presbyterian Church where she used to teach preschool for several years before she retired this summer to show and tell the kids about some of my Lego sets. The next day when I woke up, I got a call from Emily and I said, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                That morning, I realized Emily and I being in a long-distance relationship would be good for when my mom’s dad comes over because she wouldn’t have to worry about him hitting on her. Then I went to Village Church to tell the kids about Legos and brought a few of my sets. They all really enjoyed it.  I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving.

                I went home and made a bracelet made from Hershey’s nugget wrappers and I realized that Emily had tilted her head in the photos I have of her which I’ve heard is a clear sign that a girl likes a guy. My mom and Dave left for Colorado that day and I ended up feeding the dogs. I went on a bike ride and took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood, a tree that looked like a Japanese floral arrangement which made me realize nature can be a really good source of creativity, and of a dead squirrel which teaches the fact of death and impermanence and I found several golf balls realizing I could use them to make oriental stress balls and those things where several balls hang next to each other on string and the one at the end hits the one next to it causing one at the other end to move which demonstrates how like Emily and I, even though the balls have several things in between them, their energy, like Emily’s and my love, goes through them and impacts the ball at the end. I talked to Emily that night and I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.” I also learned she was born on October 17, 1991, and she has no biological siblings. I realized that she’s taught me so much in only four days and she’s also shown other signs of interest around me in the past like the way she was all giggly, and I like learning things about her. 

                The next day I went to work, and I got the schedule and found out I work on Wednesday from 7-3:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10.  I also got my paycheck and The Historical Collector’s Edition Civil Rights: The 50th Anniversary and The Media Source’s Drones: Are They Watching You. I learned that drones can save us money by replacing real cops and that made it seem like we should have the money to provide services for autistic people. I also realized that sending Emily a list I found on-line a while ago on activities for long-distance couples would be a great way to consult her on our relationship.

The next day I went to Bruce Smith and picked up a prescription and bought a new wooden yo-yo which worked better than any I’d bought in the last year. I got a picture of some flowers hanging on our door and helped Jamie and Dave move some stuff into the new studio in our basement and practiced the Sleeper yo-yo while I waited for them to be ready to move things. I rode my bike for about an hour and I took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood along my way. I got home and practiced my flute. I also talked to Tyler who said he talked to Mary, and she said she thinks Emily and I would make a great couple. 

The next Monday I drove with my mom to the library where I returned my Lonely Planet China book, getting ten more minutes of driving time, and to Whole Foods and back getting forty more minutes of driving. During the day, Emily and I texted each other back and forth.  I showed her the rose I made her, and she liked it. I also told her I was making her something, though I didn’t tell her what it was, and she said, “Youre such a sweet heart Ben.” I also called her during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

We started texting afterwards. She asked what I was doing, and I said I was sitting on the couch with a blanket and a Bud Lite. Then she told me she wished she was there, and I told her I did to. She asked me what we would do, and I said we could sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie, while I cook a meal, and we could cuddle on the couch, and I could kiss her until the night dies. She said, “Aww,” then asked, “Would I get a hug?” Then I said, “Of course.  Like I said I could hug you for hours doing nothing else.”

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took some pictures including some of some flowers which reminded me of Emily. I bought some lemonade at a lemonade sale where I saw my old friend from high school Curtis Wells, and we said hi and chatted a little. Then I went down to the bank and deposited my paycheck and then went to Bruce Smith and bought a 2013 edition of Magbook which was about close-up photos on a digital camera and the August/September 2013 issue of Afar. When I got back Emily asked me if I’d like to cuddle her, and I said I’d love to. She also said she’d love to lie on me while I hug her from behind.

She asked me if I wanted to be with her for a long time and I said I’d love to be with her as long as possible, maybe even forever and that I’d love to hug her from behind and kiss her lips and neck. She said, “Youre so sweet Ben.” I told her when we’re texting, I sometimes find it hard to find something to say and that I do that because when I talk to her my mind just races and I can’t think straight and I realized if we really learn to communicate, our relationship can always be exciting. Then we called during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After that we decided to just text each other. I said I was sitting on the couch like I would if we were cuddling like we talked about. She said, “Aww.” Then I said I would give a lot to cuddle her, and she said, “Aww.” I also said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too."

The next day I went to work, and I realized I could dye some cotton balls yellow with food coloring to help me make my straw flowers and I bought some food coloring and cotton balls after work. I took several pictures on the way home and I worked on my present for Emily. We texted before I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I got a picture of some birds on top of a dumpster then to Barnes and Noble. While I was there, I saw a man begging and thought about how so many people became homeless when Ronald Reagan cut funding for mental hospitals, proving that budget cuts are not good for our economy. Then we went to the Pathless Land, and I took a picture of some flowers by the basement door. 

I showed several people at the Pathless Land a picture of Emily and they thought she was really cute. I meditated with them sitting, breathing, and being, then scanning my Chakras and suddenly I could just see Emily in my mind’s eye very vividly. I thought the Chakra meditation could help me have lucid dreams where I saw Emily. Then I heard a woman there who talked about her complicated relationship with her deceased mother say she realized her mother loved her when she found all the letters she wrote to her mother saved and I realized that’s what I try to do with Emily’s and my texts. I also did the dedication of merit for the Pathless Land.

After class was over I realized how much Emily seemed to care about me like when I lost my yo-yo during my first year at UCM, that she may have hung around and went on vacation with Jack because she wanted to find out things about me from Jack, and when she once asked for my help on a Transition Planning II assignment she may have really been trying to hang around me. My granddad and I decided to skip going to Roasterie Coffee so I could talk to Emily, and she asked me where I would kiss her. I said I’d love to kiss her lips and mix it up and kiss her face and around her neck and shoulders. She asked me if she could touch me, and I said yes. I realized she would never just date me because she’s bored because she’s a very good friend. I also called Tyler, and we agreed to swim with Jack tomorrow at my house from 1:30 to 6. 

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class getting twenty more minutes of driving and worked on a painting. I took some pictures of some flowers and plants in the studio then drove Jack and I back to my house getting twenty more minutes of driving and we met up with Tyler. We made lunch and then we swam. Afterwards we watched TV and talked to Emily on the phone. She had to call back later because she needed to do something but before we hung up, she said, “I love you,” and I said, “I love you to.”

She called back and when we were done, I said to her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After Jack and Tyler left Emily and I texted back and forth. I told her, “Youre my Southern delight,” and she said, “Aww.” I realized if we were to communicate better then all I have to do is just say whatever it is I’m thinking. Then Emily asked if I thought she was pretty and I said, “Of course.  I think youre gorgeous.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said I love her blonde hair and could run my fingers through it while I cuddle her. 

I called her and found out her mom would be driving her to UCM on the way to Kansas City, and she asked me if I wanted her to come on Friday or Saturday and I said Friday so we could spend as much time together as possible. Before we hung up, I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” She texted me later asking me if I would sit next to her at the game and hold her hand and I said, “Of course.” Then she asked me if she would get a kiss and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” I thought Emily seems to say, “Aww,” a lot, just as I say, “Of course.” Suddenly at will I could just see Emily very vividly standing next to me like in a lucid dream.

The next morning before I went to bed, I realized that a long-distance relationship has some advantages like not having to worry what you look like, and I took a test on-line called “Is Your Long-distance Relationship Rocking or in the Rocks” and I found out it was rocking. I bookmarked the results and then I went to sleep. I took several pictures in my backyard including one of the gravestone of my old dog Beau as reflection of our own mortality and I went on a bike ride taking several more pictures. Later I sorted my beads made from straws by color and size to help me make some more Buddhist malas. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Wednesday from 7-3:30, Thursday from 10-6:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10. I also packed to go to my dad’s. I went to his house, and we ate dinner at Maui’s. I also took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and found out our’s is in a good place and I read an article on the keys to a successful long-distance relationship and found out Emily and I have all those things.

             I went to work the next day, and I realized that Emily and I being a long-distance couple spares us the need to balance me time with we time. She started looking more beautiful in my eyes and I realized that if we had more services for autism, less couples with an autistic spouse would end up getting divorced and we wouldn’t have to spend the money we do on legal procedures. After work I got another issue of Bicycle magazine. The next day before I went to bed, I realized that Ronald Reagan’s budget cuts were probably just to help pay for the Cold War so he could use the Soviets as a scapegoat. I went to work later that day, and I got home and texted Emily back and forth.

Before I went to bed the next morning, I thought the Cold War really only allowed the Soviets to stay in power by making themselves look like to their citizens that they were protecting them from a big enemy like the United States. After work that day Emily and I did some more texting back and forth. I told her, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you.” Then I said, “Of course.  Youre sweet and I love you.” She said, “Aww.”

I guess sometimes worrying about a relationship lasting can just take the enjoyment away from it. I took some more pictures and then Jamie, Cam, my dad, and I went to Sweet Tomatoes with my grandparents. When I got back, I realized that Reagan may have just been against the Soviet turning the Third World communist so capitalist countries would no longer be able to use them for cheap labor. I also thought about how people always said Emily is very talkative, but I remembered how when she was around me and when we talk on the phone, she seems much different. It was almost as tough she was shyer around me.

The next week I drove to my doctor’s appointment, getting twenty more minutes of driving, and got my blood drawn. When I got back, Emily and I texted each other back and forth a little more. I also found out I got a C in Essential Managing Information and Geology though I got all fours on my internship evaluation and some great comments. I drove to the bank and to Dr. May’s office to do some paperwork, getting another twenty minutes of driving, and saw an old high school friend who I agreed to get in touch with on Facebook. I drove to Village Pediatrics afterwards and turned in a form. I learned their how forms can often take so much time to process sowing me part of why American bureaucracy makes it so hard for many people with autism to get the services they need. Then I drove us to Corinth Square where we went to a bird store, Hen House, and the Hardware Store. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving. 

When I got back Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily,” though she didn’t get it because she had to go to dinner. Then I got a call from Hen House asking if I could trade my 10-6:30 shift on Thursday for her shift tomorrow from 1:30-10 and I agreed. Emily texted me after dinner around nine and I told her I would text back in five minutes before Dave asked Jamie, Cam, and I to move some iron-wrought tables and chairs back into our neighbor’s backyard. I finished this task in five minutes time by moving the table on my own while Jamie and cam took two chairs. When I got back though, Emily texted me saying she was going to bed.

The next day Emily and I texted each other back and forth after I got up. I told her again, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Aww Thank you.” I said, “No problem.  I love you.” She said, “Love you to.”

I told her, “I can’t wait to see you again.” She said, “Me too.” I said, “I’d love to cuddle you then.” She said, “We will.” She asked if I wanted to talk on the phone and I told her to give me twenty minutes so I could get dressed and take a shower. After that I called her though she said she had to get back to work because her lunch break just ended. I told her I would call her during my lunch break.  I washed my work clothes before going to work.

During my first break I called UCM Housing and told them I couldn’t find out about my housing situation. They told me I had to go to my MyCentral account and disable the pop-ups. I thought some more about wildlife-watching, knowing there’s a wildlife group and UCM, thinking that could really help autistic people since animals don’t judge you by whether you’re autistic, neurotypical, ADD, or whatever. Soon my lunch break came, and I called Emily, but she wasn’t there, so I just enjoyed the rest of my lunch break to myself. After work I got a Fall 2013 issue of Do It Yourself magazine.

I went to work the next day, and I filled out a request form for my doctor’s appointment next Monday. After work I took pictures of some trees, inspired by the baobob trees in my Lonely Planet Madagascar book and I worked on my flowers made from straws. I texted Emily back and forth and I went to my dad’s. Emily told me to say hi to Jamie and my dad for her and I did. Then we went to Five Guy’s where I brought the rose I made for Emily in my pocket and when I got back Emily and I kept texting each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily.” She said, “I love you to.” I told her, “I cant believe its been two weeks since we started dating.” She said, “Aww.” I told her, “Im glad we met each other.” She said, “Me too.” Then I said, “I love texting you.  Its like Im earing your voice in the same room.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Your such a beautiful girl Emily.” She said, “Thank you Youre such a handsome guy.” I said, “Thank you,” and she said, “Your welcome.”

As I was getting ready to go back to my mom’s however, I noticed the rose wasn’t in my pocket.  I asked my dad for the keys to his car and noticed they weren’t in there. I realized it must have fallen out at the restaurant and felt crushed. But then I thought it was alright because Emily always cared about me when I was upset like this and someone else might find it, thinking about how the Buddha once said, a candle can light a thousand candles without its flame being extinguished. Happiness and love do not become smaller by sharing them with others. I got home and made another rose for Emily. We said goodnight to each other before she went to bed, and I realized more how in each one of her texts she sounds just like herself.

The next morning, I dreamt that the friend I saw at Dr. May’s office and his girlfriend were on a double date with Emily and me. After waking up, doing my meditation, showering, dressing, and eating, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving. This time I got most of my canvas blocked in and I took some pictures of some knick-knacks at the studio. After I got home, I rode my bike for about fifteen minutes and took pictures of some things I saw on the ride. I came back because it looked like it was about to start raining and I texted Emily, thinking it would be romantic to text her in the rain, though she accidentally sent me a wrong text. Later that night I realized some more of how I could arrange my ikebana flowers so they look great.

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took several more pictures. I realized that hanging origami hearts from a stick is kind of like ikebana since the hearts are kind of like buds. I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck. On the way back I took even more pictures. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Tuesday from 3-10, and Thursday from 10-6:30. I also called Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday. 

I went to work the next day and found out Phil added me to the schedule for Saturday from 11-7:30. I texted Emily during my break though she didn’t text back. I did however remember this article on girls with autism and how even if they like a guy, they might not necessarily respond to their attempts to stay in touch and thought that could be true for her to. I thought if we provided the right services for people with autism, they might be less likely to use drugs and abuse alcohol, and we wouldn’t need to spend so much money locking them up for that. I saw Jack and his dad come in later, and it was a nice surprise, and I realized this must be what surprising a long-distance partner feels like. After work I realized I could use those stencils from my Scythian metal-working kit to make foil statues and I took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and got an 18.0 out of 20.0.

The next day I went to work and realized that if people think integrated education would mean their abled child wouldn’t get enough attention, ten it would seem odd that they could be in favor of budget cuts in education which are causing class sizes to be much larger. To me, I realized, it doesn’t matter whether Emily isn’t someone with autism or not because my world is beyond labels. After work I took some more pictures of things like flowers and trees and I thought Emily’s pone might be too full to receive any more texts and while she and I might like doing different things but I guess the reason we both do our things is because we both want to relax like how I read in Relax, You’re Already Home: Taoist Habits for a Richer Life says to find activities in your life that help you relax. I also heard Mary broke up with Tyler which I guess was because she’s so focused on going back to school.