First Few Days as a Regular Student

  

The day had come for me to go back to Warrensburg, this year as a regular student. I found my running shoes then started packing the car until there was practically no room left. I got some printer paper, notebooks, and ink cartridges at Office Depot. Then I realized my running shoes maybe at home. I called Cam and asked him to check in my room and he said they were there, so we drove home and got them. Then my mom drove me to Warrensburg for half an hour, then I drove the rest of the way, getting thirty-five more minutes of driving. Finally, we got there and unpacked, and I filled out a form about my room and got my key. I got settled in and met Ro and Mckenzie, my neighbors from across the hall.

On the way to the Campus Kick-Off, I met one of the students in my hall, Richard. Then I got to the Multipurpose Building, rem,embering how only a few months ago I saw Cassie graduate there, leaving UCM for good. The Campus Kick-Off was pretty exciting though. I got a picture of some “sumo wrestlers” and I saw Kriti, Josh, Levi, the last two now THRIVE mentors, Tay, Andrea, and Solomon from my Public Speaking class, and Oscar, Ryan, and Autrey. I enjoyed some hot dogs, ice cream, and lemonade, got my picture taken with others on the floor, and went on an obstacle course.

On my way back I got to know my CA Maria. I learned she was born in the Philippines, grew up in Saudi Arabia, and was majoring in nursing and she got to know me and how my main passion was film. When I got back, I tried to carve a bust of the Buddha using a piece of wood I recently found lying around and worked on some calligraphy and a trellis made from bottle cap rings and twist-ties. I also took some more pictures. Then I went to the mandatory meeting at 8:30 where Maria had us write something about us on a piece of paper, throw it in the air for it to fall and someone to pick it up, then find the person who wrote it. I had a little trouble finding my person due to trouble reading the handwriting, but I soon figured out who he was. This exercise reminded me that with the right structure, autistic people can learn to socialize and the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups will be able to help service providers learn such things so the right services can become more accessible to autistic people.

Maria then went over some rules: no alcohol for people under twenty-one, no one under twenty-one in a room where people are drinking alcohol, and no more than four people drinking alcohol at a time; no candles or incense burning; if we felt compelled to burn candles or incense for any reason, they could set us up with a room to do it; quiet hours were from 10PM-10AM from Sunday through Thursday and 12PM-10AM Friday and Saturday. We also met our residence hall director. After the meeting I got my mailbox code and a roommate agreement form. Connor had not yet shown up. I started filling out my part of the roommate agreement form and sure enough, Connor came to our room. I got introduced to him and learned he was changing his major from aviation to a double major in Business and Technology. I also found out he likes Family Guy, American Dad, King of the Hill, The Cleveland Show, and Bob’s Burgers.

After settling into life at UCM, I worked on my trellis made from bottle caps and carved an egg out of wood, which gave me some idea about how whittling works. I also introduced myself to people on the hall including a nearby roommate named Kyley. I started writing some of my screenwriting ideas down in my little notebook while I waited in line to get me computer registered which happened soon enough. In the Union, where I went to get a new student ID, I started noticing how strange it was that Cassie wasn’t here, and in the lobby, I remembered being here on the exact same day that I had met Emily. 

I later found out I did not need to get a new ID. As I was going back to my dorm, I bought two posters: one with several different beer bottles saying, “Life is full of difficult decisions,” and the other of the Berlin Wall with a message in graffiti saying, “Mother, should I trust the government?” I got back and thanked Dave for helping to pay my tuition. I also started on my ball-in-a-cage. Then I ran on the treadmill for about an hour as I had done last year. When I got back, I took some more pictures and, to help me deal with stress, wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next day Algebra class had started. I waited outside until a short, dark-haired woman unlocked the door. As I sat down, I noticed she was extremely young, not much older than I. When we all sat down, she started talking to the class. She looked very nervous, and I was reminded strongly of Cassie. We would be registering with an on-line program for this class for which we needed a code that came with a packet. I and a few other people who didn’t yet have these were given temporary codes.  Then I started working on the assignment. 

On my way back to the dorm I took some pictures of leaves. Later I went to my North American class and my impressions of the teacher, and the class all started out on a positive note. I called Erin when I got back to tell her I was all moved in. Then Maria walked by our door to ask if we had finished the roommate agreement form. I told her I hadn’t, and she asked that I get it done as soon as I could. Then Connor came to our room, and we finished our roommate agreement form. As I went into the cafeteria, I decided I would try and stop eating so much sweets like I did last year to help me be more relaxed and focused. I also saw Hillary and Philip, as they were about to leave and we all said hi to each other and Amanda Rothe, now a second-year THRIVE student, as I was about to leave. When I got back to my dorm I found a Lonely Planet book on Northeast India at a really good price on Amazon. I also figured that even though Emily was not the girl I expected to date, that’s ok because like my granddad says, we’re all on a journey and it wouldn’t be a journey to know the end before you got there. After I ran on the treadmill, I talked to Tyler and Gabe on the phone and then wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next day after my classes I went to the Student Success Center and got help on my math homework. Then I checked out a Lonely Planet book on Mongolia and one on India. I went to my World Masterpieces class, where, to my surprise, I saw Philip. On my way back to the dorm I found to new American Cinematographer issues for my collection that they give out on a rack in the Martin Building and I took several more pictures then got back and worked on a lampshade made from straws and my handbag for Emily.

Later I took out my trash and recycling bin then went down to the THRIVE hall where I saw Autrey, Alex, and Paige. Then I got most of my books in the mail as I saw Mary passing by. I went into town and got a summer 2013 issue of Sufi magazine, the latest issue of Circle magazine, and Time magazine’s Your Body: The Science of Keeping it Healthy. I also got a fifty-dollar Amazon gift card, and I took some more photos on my way back which helped me learn to slow down in life. When I got back Mckenzie asked me if I wanted to go get dinner with some of the others though I declined because I had already eaten but her invitation made me feel like the people on the hall really wanted to include me in things. 

When I went down to the Rec Center, so late from making last minute changes to my meditation journal and having two times where the vending machine wouldn’t give me the drink I paid for and getting a refund that I missed the first King of the Hill episode, I decided from then on, I would sort the recycling after I worked out. I talked to Tyler and Gabe afterwards and Gabe invited me to the wedding of him and Alex (a girl from THRIVE who graduated the same year he did) on the twenty-first of June in Washington D.C. Then I called my mom to tell her I was adjusting well to life at UCM, and she was thrilled. I also hung out with Kyley, Richard, Thad, and a few other people on my hall in Kyley’s room who I told about Emily and one of my screenplays which they thought sounded great. Afterwards I knocked on Mckenzie’s door and told her I was sorry I wasn’t able to make it to dinner and next time I’ll get everything I need to do done before then so I could make it and that I’d love to do those kinds of things with them and she said, “Alright.” I got back to my room and wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next morning, before I went to bed, I worked on my ball-in-a-cage. After I woke up and did my meditation, I got the idea to make Phil a card thanking him for all the hours he gave me at Hen House. During my Algebra class, I got done a lot of the assignment that would be due next week. I got back and I worked on my trellises. I also took some more pictures on the way to my North American Indian class. Later I realized I could have easily made it to dinner with the others if I hadn’t gone into town. I got all my supplies for my Drawing I class at the Union bookstore and as I was leaving, I ran into Dr. Mayfield and told her about the poster board idea I had for the group, and we agreed on maybe meeting her on Thursday to talk about the group.

               

I got back to my dorm and worked on my lampshade and ordered on Amazon: Sahara: A Natural History, The Little Book of Contemplative Photography, and a Lonely Planet book on Northeast India and one on Central Africa. I remembered how I planned to go to Equatorial Guinea as a bearing witness trip for the genocide of the Bubi people under their former government. I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class afterwards from The Epic of Gilgamesh and I realized I could continue reading it on the treadmill. I talked to Tyler when I got back, and then to my dad. Afterwards I played a Mario game with some of my hall mates, which I wasn’t very good at but at least had something to do with them. With my lack of skills in the game I learned to compensate to late sort of like what many autistic people go through in the real world.

The next day I saw Mary in the cafeteria and asked her how she was doing. She said ok, sounding a little stressed out. In my Drawing I class, our teacher taught us to hold our pencils lower in our hands and use them to measure the angles of what we’re drawing. After my Drawing class I worked some more on my ball-in-a-cage. Then I went to my World Masterpieces class where Philip told the class about his epilepsy and what he needed if he had a seizure and found a willing volunteer, certified in these situations to help. I realized this is the kind of self-advocacy autistic people need to learn sometime. As I was hearing about Gilgamesh in the class I thought he sounded sort of like a warrior mentioned in the Shambhala tradition of Buddhism like the Tibetan Epic of Gesar of Ling.

              

After class I decided to get myself rewards like from Jazzman’s Coffee Shop in the Union for sorting recycling, repurposing so much trash, and writing in my meditation journal to one day give to my future children to help them learn about meditation to help them survive the world and its flaws using it. Back in my room I worked on my handbag, my lampshade, and my trellises. I also remembered how my mom said the guy who founded Wrong Planet in The United States of Autism sounded impressive and I realized I would say a lot of the same things on neurodiversity that he did.  I worked on my travel plans in the Union where I saw Hillary and Philip and Philip congratulated me on my relationship with Emily. Later I went to Crazy Dog’s and took several pictures along the way, and I got a new bottle cap for my collection. While I ran on the treadmill later that night, I was sort of able to tell how the King of the Hill episode I watched was written for its effect which I guess meant I was becoming more of a screenwriter. When I got back, I wrote in my gratitude journal and worked on my ball-in-a-cage.

The next day I went to Walgreen’s, taking several pictures along the way, and I got some shredded mozzarella cheese and pepperoni for pizza bagels. When I got back, I finished my Algebra assignment. When the day was nearly over, I had almost finished my ball-in-a-cage. On Sunday, I finished it completely. I told my dad and the phone and showed him a picture. He and my granddad, who were eating together were really impressed. Later I worked on my handbag and later made a toilet paper roll diorama of Swayambhunath Stupa in Nepal. Then I had dinner with several people on the floor, which Maria invited us all to do, and Ryan saw me and joined us. I also wrote in my gratitude journal that night.

Before my Drawing I class I read a little more of the assigned reading for The Epic of Gilgamesh. During the class we learned to draw still-lifes drawing just the corners and overlapping lines, using a variety of shades, lengths, and thickness of lines. During my World Masterpieces class, I got a four out of five on the quiz. I got back to my dorm and continued working on my lampshade. Then I finished an assignment then a quiz for my Algebra class. Then I texted Emily back and forth and told her about how I dedicated the last Ben’s Blog post to her. She said, “Aww that’s sweet.” I then told her I loved her.

I finished another Algebra assignment then texted Emily back and forth at dinner. After I finished eating, I worked a little more on organizing my stamp collection. Then I talked more to Tyler. While I was running on the treadmill, I realized how even though health insurance agencies might think providing for autism would cost them more, if so many people with autism are underemployed, they might not be able to buy health insurance from them in the first place. When I got back, I worked on my handbag for Emily.

I woke up the next morning and Emily and I texted each other back and forth. She said, “Love U,” and I said, “I love you to.” Then she said, “Do you want to talk,” then “Call me.” I called her and found out she wouldn’t be able to come during Homecoming Week because her mom would be in New York during that time, but she would come another week. She said she missed me, and I said I missed her too. Soon I had to hang up so I could get ready for class but before that I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

After breakfast I got help with my Algebra homework at the Student Success Center. I took several pictures on my way to my math class and before it started, I finished the reading for my North American Indian class. During class I got one hundred percent on the math quiz. Then I registered with a permanent code and got back my worksheet with a five out of five. Today was the second day our teacher had not been there, and I decided to e-mail her wishing her to get well. 

After class I ate lunch with Ryan, Marty, and David from THRIVE. Ryan invited me to a football game, but I told him I wasn’t able to go because of my workload. I felt a little bad so before I left, I told him I would try and get together with him another time and he thought that was great. Later I read the reading for my North American Indian class and got some brown construction paper at the Union to make toilet paper roll dioramas. During class that day I learned how the theories that the Mayan pyramids and other achievements of Native Americans were caused by Egyptians, Welshmen, Hebrews, Vikings, or Chinese (suggesting that they couldn’t do such things themselves) were shown not to be true since at these sites, the texts there didn’t not resemble any of their languages, the artifacts didn’t not resemble the artifacts of those people, and the physical remains were shown to be Native American. After class I texted Emily back and forth while I worked on my lampshade. 

As I was leaving the Union, I ran into Dr. Mayfield, and we talked about the group a little bit and she told me she might be able to meet about it on Thursday. I got back and did some laundry while I texted Emily. I asked her if she was ok and she said, “I just miss you.” I said, “I know.  I miss you to.”  She said, “Aww,” then I said, “Well youre a great friend and a great girlfriend and I love you.”

Later I worked on some bags woven from bags and took several pictures. Then I got a knock on my door. I answered it and it was Kyley, and she said she was going to ask if Connor wanted to go eat with her and several others and invited me along to. I agreed to come along. Then I started seeing how Emily sounds so much like she does in person in her texts. I did some more photography after wards and on the treadmill, I found the perfect thing to put on the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group magnets, cable holders, and pencil cups. When I finished running on the treadmill I joined Kyley, Mckinsey, Ro, and six other girls at Players restaurant where I had some coke and chicken wings. 

The next day in my Drawing I class I learned about balancing my hand on a piece of paper while drawing. During my World Masterpieces class, I learned about the Greek term arête, meaning excellence, which I believed I had read about one time in my book Family Guy and Philosophy. After class was over, I wrote thank you notes, one to my grandmom for the fifty dollar check she had sent me, and one to Phil for all the hours he had given me at Hen House. I made a collage on the front of my grandmom’s card of one of the Ten Ox-Herding pictures from Zen Buddhism, with a man riding his ox to the market. Then I called the OAS Office and found out Dr. Mayfield was all booked up for Thursday.

Later I went down to the Union and got myself a white chocolate blast as a reward for all my environmental crafts. When I got back found out The Little Book of Contemplative Photography had arrived in the mail. Then after dinner I found I couldn’t find my key and decided to see if it fell on my way to the Union or back, but then I remembered I had to have had it before dinner because I would have needed it to get into my room, so I asked them had the front desk to help me get into my room and when they unlocked my door I found my key in there. Then Emily and I texted each other back and forth and I ended up doing a lot of work to fix my shelf for my toilet paper roll dioramas that I decided to save the day’s entry for my meditation journal for tomorrow. Emily said, “Love u,” and I said, “I love you to.” After I got back from the Rec Center, I decided to take a break from my usual routine, something my granddad taught me about, by writing in my gratitude journal in the lounge area instead of dorm. 

The next day I worked on some Algebra homework in class. Our teacher was still absent that day. Then I read the reading for my North American Indian class. After class I went to the Union and e-mailed my Algebra teacher, then got myself a supreme white chocolate blast from Jazzman’s Coffee Shop in the Union as a reward for writing in my meditation journal for the last two years to give my future children lessons on meditation to help them survive in the world. I saw Kriti there and I told her about everything going on with me and about Emily and me. I drank my coffee drink while working on my handbag. 

Emily and I texted each other later on. She asked me if I was alright, and I said I was just a little overwhelmed. She said, “Aww its ok. " I told her about the handbag when she asked her what I was making for her and she said, “Aww thanks babe youre too sweet.” She also said, “I wish I could be hanging out with you right now. Later that night I talked to my mom and learned I would be going home for Labor Day with Alex Place from THRIVE and his mom. 

               

The United States of Autism Movie

On Monday I drove to and back from art class, which was cancelled, getting thirty more minutes of driving. Then I talked to Tyler and comforted him, telling him what I thought yesterday. I called Emily, though I didn’t hear back, then I tried to call my granddad to tell him about Tyler and Mary, but he wasn’t there. My grandmom answered, and I told her about Tyler and Mary and what I thought was going on and she thought that could be the case. My mom asked me if I wanted go with her to see a movie at Town Center called The United States of Autism. I said sure and remembered that I had heard of that movie one time years ago from the Autism Women’s Network. Later I drove to my doctor’s appointment getting thirty-five more minutes of driving. After I got back, I realized my flowers would look nicer if the taller ones were closer together. 

Later my mom, Dave, Jamie, and I went to see The United States of Autism. There I saw an autism camp, which I donated a dollar to, and an old high school friend and fellow autistic named Ian Sneid. The camp told us about their mission and then the movie started. The filmmaker went across the country talking to families and individuals about trying to get the right resources they needed. Interviewees came from several different states in forty places across the country and included Sharon daVanport, co-founder of the Autism Women’s Network, Alex Plank, the founder of the Wrong Planet website, and Raun Kaufman, a man who claims that his parents' homegrown autism therapies cured him of his autism allowing him to go to a prestigious university. An Oklahoman father talked about his attempts to get a piece of autism legislation passed, which he claimed was very fiscally conservative, yet had been shot down by Oklahoman politicians regardless of their political party. He asked the question, “How can one be pro-life and not want to provide for autism. It’s as if they think they’ll only care for someone until they come out of the womb.” A mother talked about how unreliable the services providers are at ABA organizations and told one of their representatives on a high up floor, “If you don’t get me your director, I will throw myself out this window.” He later got the director to come speak to her. One mother said she hears stories of so-called “recoveries” and feels guilty wondering why she can’t do the same for her kid. Mom watched Alex Plank speak about neurodiversity and found him to be very impressive. After the movie ended, people from the camp spoke some more and my mom and Dave were begging Jamie and I to let us all leave and reluctantly, Jamie and I agreed.

After the movie we ate dinner at Blue Koi. Then I got home and talked to Granddad about Tyler and Mary, and he thought what I thought. He also thought that Emily might not be returning my calls due to something related to her ADHD. The next morning, I dreamt Emily, another THRIVE student I didn’t know, and myself were all walking together in the town of Warrensburg. After I woke up, I emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, took some pictures of some dying flowers, representing death, and some Russian dolls behind the glass in one of our cabinets. I drove to work adding another ten minutes of driving to my time adding ten more minutes of driving to my time. I realized that Raun Kaufman couldn’t possibly be autistic because I had seen the back of his book Son-Rise say that before he was cured, he was an empty shell, yet if he really were autistic, he’d know autistic people aren’t that way at all. I thought him saying the Son-Rise Program cured his autism is no more valid than Tom Cruise saying Scientology cured his dyslexia. I realized though while he gives “hope” for a cure, I give people hope that they can amount to great things with their present neurological differences. I also thought of an idea to show so: a talent night, much like the Culture Night last year at UCM.

After work I got the newest edition of Saveur magazine. Then the next day I went to work again and got a picture of my M&Ms during my break. On my way back I took some more pictures of flowers, trees, and weeds that looked like ikebana arrangements. When I got back, I found out my mom had cleaned out my closet. I unpacked a little bit in effort to help clean out my room for my Uncle Kurt Aunt Barb, and cousins Kyley and Hunter who were coming to visit. I put some sticks I found into an old tea can like an ikebana arrangement and I glued some origami hearts made from receipts together.

Later I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I felt it was kind of scary the violence that goes on towards autistic people in this country when I realized that like a tool, I have a specific purpose, and until I find that purpose, I might just be staying on a shelf. I went to Barnes and Noble with him where I got a July/August 2013 issue of Poets and Writers and the September 2013 issue of Bicycling magazine. Then we went to the Pathless Land where I meditated with the others just sitting, breathing, and being. Then I realized that the mother who threatened to throw herself out the window like so many other parents would be right behind me in my cause to give autistics full access to society. I realized and told the group that while I could feel scared about the way people with autism are often treated in this country, I felt comforted by the love of Emily and realized I would rather have a long-distance relationship now than a short-distance one later. Ben said that trying to change our past would be like the movie Back to the Future, where it creates a ripple effect that changes our entire lives. I did the closing for the Pathless Land then my granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee. I got back and I rearranged my room and realized that might be right in thinking I’d like to do Chinese painting because it’s often of the stuff I take pictures of.

An Unexpected Journey of My Own

On the first day of the next week, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving time and after art class I drove to Einstein’s for lunch and the shoe store where I got some new shoes. We walked over to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Woodcarving magazine’s Whittling and Time magazine’s The Rise of Robots: How Smart Machines are Changing Our Lives and learned that robots can help us explore the deep sea and while robots may take some jobs, they will create new ones and save us money with robo cops both meaning we’ll have more money in our budget and the government can no longer use that as an excuse to discriminate against autistics. When I got home, I made some beads from straws, and I practiced my flute for half an hour and then took some pictures of some of my mom’s flowers. Then I talked to my granddad, and he seemed to think that making autism legislation would help autistic people and I talked to Tyler again and he said he was doing well and he talked to Hillary and found out she was doing well.

                The next day I drove my mom to the glass recycling bin adding ten more minutes to my driving time, the library where I got a Lonely Planet book on Rajasthan, Delhi, and Agra, adding ten more minutes to my driving times, then to the post office where I got a free periodical on stamp collecting, adding another ten minutes, then home, adding another five minutes. I worked on gluing my origami hearts made from receipts together, rode my bike for an hour, and wrote some poems while I sipped some macchiato at the Starbuck’s. As I got home, I realized that sacking involves space and can be a way to appreciate the hierarchy of heaven, earth, and man. I took some more pictures of my mom’s flowers then started working on turning beads into straws and I realized that while some may think that providing autistic people the right services would cost us money, it would also save us money that the problems autistic people not having the right services costs.

                I kept working on my beads made from straws and then I got a text. It said, “Hi Ben.  It’s Emily.” I texted her back saying, “Hi how are you?” She said, “Good and you?” I said, “Good.  What are you doing?” She said, “Just working.  What are you doing?” I said, “Working, arts and crafts, flute-playing, photography.” Then she sent a text saying, “I like you Ben.”

                I said, “Do you mean friendwise or otherwise?” She said, “Like I want you to be my bf or something you want at school but I wasn’t sure if you wanted the same thing.” Suddenly I just couldn’t think straight. Then I got a text from Hillary saying, “Emily Webb wants to date you.” Afterwards she sent me a text saying, “I think you should.  David Stillman [THRIVE student] thinks youd make a great couple.”

                I still wasn’t sure, and I texted Emily saying I thought she was beautiful, and I liked her friendship, but I didn’t want to rush into it and that maybe we should talk and grow closer first. Then I talked to my dad and told him I liked Emily, but I wanted to keep my options open. He said, "Well Ben you’re getting ahead of yourself. You should hit that bridge when you come to it, and it might not work out how you expected.”

                I said, “So if I want to date Emily, I should?”

                “Yes,” he said.

                Emily sent me a text later saying, “I’m going to bed.” Then I sent her a text saying, “Emily, screw taking it slowly. I think we should live for the moment and date. I want to date you and if you still want to date me tomorrow when I get off work, text me and let me know.” The next day on the way to work I realized like certain ikebana arrangements, the flowers may be far apart, but like Emily and I, they can come together to make something beautiful. When I got back home, I renewed my Lonely Planet Mongolia book and I saw a text from Emily saying, “I want to date you.” I said, “Me too.

                We called each other and talked. It felt very romantic, and I just felt so excited. I told her, “I love you.” 

She said, “I love you to.”  She also said that she would come down to UCM for Homecoming Weekend and sometimes comes down to Kansas City to see family members. 

                I told my granddad about Emily when he got to my house, and he was very excited for me and said he knew all along I’d find a relationship when I least expected it. He gave me the June 2013 issue of Smithsonian and we went to Winstead’s. Granddad said he was sure Emily was truly into me since a beautiful girl like her could probably get her pick of guys. We went to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Time magazine’s The 100 Most Influential People Who Never Lived with characters like Homer Simpson on the front cover, and a 2013 issue of Sacred Hoop magazine which had an article about a pilgrimage to Kathmandu and Celtic and Tibetan spirituality. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the Chakra meditation with the others and at the end I did the dedication of merit. I thought someone who loves me like Emily really was encouraging. I felt that on the issue of autism, people might say we’ve come a long way, but I feel we’ve only gone through the gates of Mt. Kilimanjaro National Park. We have yet to climb the mountain. My granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee afterwards and I took a picture of my cookie and my espresso.

                The next day I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving and I worked on my painting. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving and then I called Emily. I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.”

                I rode my bike for about an hour then got back and glued some of my origami hearts together. Then after writing in my dream journal, I worked on a tree commemorating Emily’s and my relationship by covering cardboard tubes with brown construction paper where I’d insert branches to hang my origami hearts. I refilled my medication and when I got it at Bruce Smith, I got a new bottle cap from my drink which I got for free due to a stocking and pricing error and being the first one to get it. Then I got back and called Emily and told her, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                Before I went to sleep that night, I got a call from my mom asking me to come with her to Village Presbyterian Church where she used to teach preschool for several years before she retired this summer to show and tell the kids about some of my Lego sets. The next day when I woke up, I got a call from Emily and I said, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                That morning, I realized Emily and I being in a long-distance relationship would be good for when my mom’s dad comes over because she wouldn’t have to worry about him hitting on her. Then I went to Village Church to tell the kids about Legos and brought a few of my sets. They all really enjoyed it.  I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving.

                I went home and made a bracelet made from Hershey’s nugget wrappers and I realized that Emily had tilted her head in the photos I have of her which I’ve heard is a clear sign that a girl likes a guy. My mom and Dave left for Colorado that day and I ended up feeding the dogs. I went on a bike ride and took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood, a tree that looked like a Japanese floral arrangement which made me realize nature can be a really good source of creativity, and of a dead squirrel which teaches the fact of death and impermanence and I found several golf balls realizing I could use them to make oriental stress balls and those things where several balls hang next to each other on string and the one at the end hits the one next to it causing one at the other end to move which demonstrates how like Emily and I, even though the balls have several things in between them, their energy, like Emily’s and my love, goes through them and impacts the ball at the end. I talked to Emily that night and I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.” I also learned she was born on October 17, 1991, and she has no biological siblings. I realized that she’s taught me so much in only four days and she’s also shown other signs of interest around me in the past like the way she was all giggly, and I like learning things about her. 

                The next day I went to work, and I got the schedule and found out I work on Wednesday from 7-3:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10.  I also got my paycheck and The Historical Collector’s Edition Civil Rights: The 50th Anniversary and The Media Source’s Drones: Are They Watching You. I learned that drones can save us money by replacing real cops and that made it seem like we should have the money to provide services for autistic people. I also realized that sending Emily a list I found on-line a while ago on activities for long-distance couples would be a great way to consult her on our relationship.

The next day I went to Bruce Smith and picked up a prescription and bought a new wooden yo-yo which worked better than any I’d bought in the last year. I got a picture of some flowers hanging on our door and helped Jamie and Dave move some stuff into the new studio in our basement and practiced the Sleeper yo-yo while I waited for them to be ready to move things. I rode my bike for about an hour and I took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood along my way. I got home and practiced my flute. I also talked to Tyler who said he talked to Mary, and she said she thinks Emily and I would make a great couple. 

The next Monday I drove with my mom to the library where I returned my Lonely Planet China book, getting ten more minutes of driving time, and to Whole Foods and back getting forty more minutes of driving. During the day, Emily and I texted each other back and forth.  I showed her the rose I made her, and she liked it. I also told her I was making her something, though I didn’t tell her what it was, and she said, “Youre such a sweet heart Ben.” I also called her during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

We started texting afterwards. She asked what I was doing, and I said I was sitting on the couch with a blanket and a Bud Lite. Then she told me she wished she was there, and I told her I did to. She asked me what we would do, and I said we could sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie, while I cook a meal, and we could cuddle on the couch, and I could kiss her until the night dies. She said, “Aww,” then asked, “Would I get a hug?” Then I said, “Of course.  Like I said I could hug you for hours doing nothing else.”

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took some pictures including some of some flowers which reminded me of Emily. I bought some lemonade at a lemonade sale where I saw my old friend from high school Curtis Wells, and we said hi and chatted a little. Then I went down to the bank and deposited my paycheck and then went to Bruce Smith and bought a 2013 edition of Magbook which was about close-up photos on a digital camera and the August/September 2013 issue of Afar. When I got back Emily asked me if I’d like to cuddle her, and I said I’d love to. She also said she’d love to lie on me while I hug her from behind.

She asked me if I wanted to be with her for a long time and I said I’d love to be with her as long as possible, maybe even forever and that I’d love to hug her from behind and kiss her lips and neck. She said, “Youre so sweet Ben.” I told her when we’re texting, I sometimes find it hard to find something to say and that I do that because when I talk to her my mind just races and I can’t think straight and I realized if we really learn to communicate, our relationship can always be exciting. Then we called during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After that we decided to just text each other. I said I was sitting on the couch like I would if we were cuddling like we talked about. She said, “Aww.” Then I said I would give a lot to cuddle her, and she said, “Aww.” I also said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too."

The next day I went to work, and I realized I could dye some cotton balls yellow with food coloring to help me make my straw flowers and I bought some food coloring and cotton balls after work. I took several pictures on the way home and I worked on my present for Emily. We texted before I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I got a picture of some birds on top of a dumpster then to Barnes and Noble. While I was there, I saw a man begging and thought about how so many people became homeless when Ronald Reagan cut funding for mental hospitals, proving that budget cuts are not good for our economy. Then we went to the Pathless Land, and I took a picture of some flowers by the basement door. 

I showed several people at the Pathless Land a picture of Emily and they thought she was really cute. I meditated with them sitting, breathing, and being, then scanning my Chakras and suddenly I could just see Emily in my mind’s eye very vividly. I thought the Chakra meditation could help me have lucid dreams where I saw Emily. Then I heard a woman there who talked about her complicated relationship with her deceased mother say she realized her mother loved her when she found all the letters she wrote to her mother saved and I realized that’s what I try to do with Emily’s and my texts. I also did the dedication of merit for the Pathless Land.

After class was over I realized how much Emily seemed to care about me like when I lost my yo-yo during my first year at UCM, that she may have hung around and went on vacation with Jack because she wanted to find out things about me from Jack, and when she once asked for my help on a Transition Planning II assignment she may have really been trying to hang around me. My granddad and I decided to skip going to Roasterie Coffee so I could talk to Emily, and she asked me where I would kiss her. I said I’d love to kiss her lips and mix it up and kiss her face and around her neck and shoulders. She asked me if she could touch me, and I said yes. I realized she would never just date me because she’s bored because she’s a very good friend. I also called Tyler, and we agreed to swim with Jack tomorrow at my house from 1:30 to 6. 

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class getting twenty more minutes of driving and worked on a painting. I took some pictures of some flowers and plants in the studio then drove Jack and I back to my house getting twenty more minutes of driving and we met up with Tyler. We made lunch and then we swam. Afterwards we watched TV and talked to Emily on the phone. She had to call back later because she needed to do something but before we hung up, she said, “I love you,” and I said, “I love you to.”

She called back and when we were done, I said to her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After Jack and Tyler left Emily and I texted back and forth. I told her, “Youre my Southern delight,” and she said, “Aww.” I realized if we were to communicate better then all I have to do is just say whatever it is I’m thinking. Then Emily asked if I thought she was pretty and I said, “Of course.  I think youre gorgeous.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said I love her blonde hair and could run my fingers through it while I cuddle her. 

I called her and found out her mom would be driving her to UCM on the way to Kansas City, and she asked me if I wanted her to come on Friday or Saturday and I said Friday so we could spend as much time together as possible. Before we hung up, I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” She texted me later asking me if I would sit next to her at the game and hold her hand and I said, “Of course.” Then she asked me if she would get a kiss and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” I thought Emily seems to say, “Aww,” a lot, just as I say, “Of course.” Suddenly at will I could just see Emily very vividly standing next to me like in a lucid dream.

The next morning before I went to bed, I realized that a long-distance relationship has some advantages like not having to worry what you look like, and I took a test on-line called “Is Your Long-distance Relationship Rocking or in the Rocks” and I found out it was rocking. I bookmarked the results and then I went to sleep. I took several pictures in my backyard including one of the gravestone of my old dog Beau as reflection of our own mortality and I went on a bike ride taking several more pictures. Later I sorted my beads made from straws by color and size to help me make some more Buddhist malas. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Wednesday from 7-3:30, Thursday from 10-6:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10. I also packed to go to my dad’s. I went to his house, and we ate dinner at Maui’s. I also took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and found out our’s is in a good place and I read an article on the keys to a successful long-distance relationship and found out Emily and I have all those things.

             I went to work the next day, and I realized that Emily and I being a long-distance couple spares us the need to balance me time with we time. She started looking more beautiful in my eyes and I realized that if we had more services for autism, less couples with an autistic spouse would end up getting divorced and we wouldn’t have to spend the money we do on legal procedures. After work I got another issue of Bicycle magazine. The next day before I went to bed, I realized that Ronald Reagan’s budget cuts were probably just to help pay for the Cold War so he could use the Soviets as a scapegoat. I went to work later that day, and I got home and texted Emily back and forth.

Before I went to bed the next morning, I thought the Cold War really only allowed the Soviets to stay in power by making themselves look like to their citizens that they were protecting them from a big enemy like the United States. After work that day Emily and I did some more texting back and forth. I told her, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you.” Then I said, “Of course.  Youre sweet and I love you.” She said, “Aww.”

I guess sometimes worrying about a relationship lasting can just take the enjoyment away from it. I took some more pictures and then Jamie, Cam, my dad, and I went to Sweet Tomatoes with my grandparents. When I got back, I realized that Reagan may have just been against the Soviet turning the Third World communist so capitalist countries would no longer be able to use them for cheap labor. I also thought about how people always said Emily is very talkative, but I remembered how when she was around me and when we talk on the phone, she seems much different. It was almost as tough she was shyer around me.

The next week I drove to my doctor’s appointment, getting twenty more minutes of driving, and got my blood drawn. When I got back, Emily and I texted each other back and forth a little more. I also found out I got a C in Essential Managing Information and Geology though I got all fours on my internship evaluation and some great comments. I drove to the bank and to Dr. May’s office to do some paperwork, getting another twenty minutes of driving, and saw an old high school friend who I agreed to get in touch with on Facebook. I drove to Village Pediatrics afterwards and turned in a form. I learned their how forms can often take so much time to process sowing me part of why American bureaucracy makes it so hard for many people with autism to get the services they need. Then I drove us to Corinth Square where we went to a bird store, Hen House, and the Hardware Store. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving. 

When I got back Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily,” though she didn’t get it because she had to go to dinner. Then I got a call from Hen House asking if I could trade my 10-6:30 shift on Thursday for her shift tomorrow from 1:30-10 and I agreed. Emily texted me after dinner around nine and I told her I would text back in five minutes before Dave asked Jamie, Cam, and I to move some iron-wrought tables and chairs back into our neighbor’s backyard. I finished this task in five minutes time by moving the table on my own while Jamie and cam took two chairs. When I got back though, Emily texted me saying she was going to bed.

The next day Emily and I texted each other back and forth after I got up. I told her again, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Aww Thank you.” I said, “No problem.  I love you.” She said, “Love you to.”

I told her, “I can’t wait to see you again.” She said, “Me too.” I said, “I’d love to cuddle you then.” She said, “We will.” She asked if I wanted to talk on the phone and I told her to give me twenty minutes so I could get dressed and take a shower. After that I called her though she said she had to get back to work because her lunch break just ended. I told her I would call her during my lunch break.  I washed my work clothes before going to work.

During my first break I called UCM Housing and told them I couldn’t find out about my housing situation. They told me I had to go to my MyCentral account and disable the pop-ups. I thought some more about wildlife-watching, knowing there’s a wildlife group and UCM, thinking that could really help autistic people since animals don’t judge you by whether you’re autistic, neurotypical, ADD, or whatever. Soon my lunch break came, and I called Emily, but she wasn’t there, so I just enjoyed the rest of my lunch break to myself. After work I got a Fall 2013 issue of Do It Yourself magazine.

I went to work the next day, and I filled out a request form for my doctor’s appointment next Monday. After work I took pictures of some trees, inspired by the baobob trees in my Lonely Planet Madagascar book and I worked on my flowers made from straws. I texted Emily back and forth and I went to my dad’s. Emily told me to say hi to Jamie and my dad for her and I did. Then we went to Five Guy’s where I brought the rose I made for Emily in my pocket and when I got back Emily and I kept texting each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily.” She said, “I love you to.” I told her, “I cant believe its been two weeks since we started dating.” She said, “Aww.” I told her, “Im glad we met each other.” She said, “Me too.” Then I said, “I love texting you.  Its like Im earing your voice in the same room.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Your such a beautiful girl Emily.” She said, “Thank you Youre such a handsome guy.” I said, “Thank you,” and she said, “Your welcome.”

As I was getting ready to go back to my mom’s however, I noticed the rose wasn’t in my pocket.  I asked my dad for the keys to his car and noticed they weren’t in there. I realized it must have fallen out at the restaurant and felt crushed. But then I thought it was alright because Emily always cared about me when I was upset like this and someone else might find it, thinking about how the Buddha once said, a candle can light a thousand candles without its flame being extinguished. Happiness and love do not become smaller by sharing them with others. I got home and made another rose for Emily. We said goodnight to each other before she went to bed, and I realized more how in each one of her texts she sounds just like herself.

The next morning, I dreamt that the friend I saw at Dr. May’s office and his girlfriend were on a double date with Emily and me. After waking up, doing my meditation, showering, dressing, and eating, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving. This time I got most of my canvas blocked in and I took some pictures of some knick-knacks at the studio. After I got home, I rode my bike for about fifteen minutes and took pictures of some things I saw on the ride. I came back because it looked like it was about to start raining and I texted Emily, thinking it would be romantic to text her in the rain, though she accidentally sent me a wrong text. Later that night I realized some more of how I could arrange my ikebana flowers so they look great.

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took several more pictures. I realized that hanging origami hearts from a stick is kind of like ikebana since the hearts are kind of like buds. I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck. On the way back I took even more pictures. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Tuesday from 3-10, and Thursday from 10-6:30. I also called Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday. 

I went to work the next day and found out Phil added me to the schedule for Saturday from 11-7:30. I texted Emily during my break though she didn’t text back. I did however remember this article on girls with autism and how even if they like a guy, they might not necessarily respond to their attempts to stay in touch and thought that could be true for her to. I thought if we provided the right services for people with autism, they might be less likely to use drugs and abuse alcohol, and we wouldn’t need to spend so much money locking them up for that. I saw Jack and his dad come in later, and it was a nice surprise, and I realized this must be what surprising a long-distance partner feels like. After work I realized I could use those stencils from my Scythian metal-working kit to make foil statues and I took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and got an 18.0 out of 20.0.

The next day I went to work and realized that if people think integrated education would mean their abled child wouldn’t get enough attention, ten it would seem odd that they could be in favor of budget cuts in education which are causing class sizes to be much larger. To me, I realized, it doesn’t matter whether Emily isn’t someone with autism or not because my world is beyond labels. After work I took some more pictures of things like flowers and trees and I thought Emily’s pone might be too full to receive any more texts and while she and I might like doing different things but I guess the reason we both do our things is because we both want to relax like how I read in Relax, You’re Already Home: Taoist Habits for a Richer Life says to find activities in your life that help you relax. I also heard Mary broke up with Tyler which I guess was because she’s so focused on going back to school.