Lessons in Autism

 On Monday after I got back I worked on my drawing for my Drawing I class some more. During that class we sat and discussed each person’s drawing and when mine was discussed I got a lot of positive comments as well as some good suggestions. I also thought of my bird woodcarving and decided to make my bird the Eastern Bluebird, the state bird of Missouri, where I had all these adventures. Before class got out, I agreed to pay five dollars for gas to Emily in that class, who I was getting a ride with to or field trip to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. After class, I went down to the Union and took down the poster board for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.

        When I got back to Ellis, I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During that class I got a five out of five on the quiz. After class and sorting some recycling, I did my Algebra homework. Then I got some more board for my snack wrapper collages at the Union bookstore. When I got back to the dorm and worked on blocking out the colors for them.
        I later finished my abstract for my North American Indian class but I accidentally forgot to save it. However I knew everything I said on it so I could retype it. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class on the treadmill. Afterwards I got back and talked to Tyler. I also realized I had one more day than I thought I did to go get something from Those Were the Days to make something for the Print Club.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got one hundred percent on the quiz. After I got back to my dorm I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes and then I reorganized my recyclables. After that I finished the reading for my North American Indian class. After my North American Indian class I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.
        Only Tom and Matt showed up to the group. We didn’t really do introductions, go over our rules, or pair up two people and take four minutes to get to know three things about the other person as we already knew each other and I suggested two ideas for or next meeting: getting together at a coffee shop, or a music night where we each picked a song that we secretly wrote down on a piece of paper, played it, and everyone would then try to get who picked the song. No one really seemed to care to much either way so they just agreed to have a music night. Tom and Matt left early but I stayed behind until 4:30 to see if anyone showed up to ask about the meeting, which they didn’t. While I did I read on my phone an article talking about how many people with bipolar disorder withdraw from social relationships and I thought perhaps women with autism are often undiagnosed with the condition as autistic traits can overlap with traits of other conditions they may have, such as bipolar disorder or ADHD. I also thought that it may have taken the Buddhist saint Padmasambhava years to subdue the wrathful demons of Tibet to help bring Buddhism to the country.
        I got back to my dorm later and made twenty more flowers from straws. Later I talked to my Granddad and he told me to have some patience with starting the group. Later on I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal some more and I thought it was becoming very satisfying. I also talked to my Granddad some more later on and told him about how I thought my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal was coming along great and how I thought all my collages would look very realistic and he said if anyone could make it look like a professional, I could and said that looking at my scrapbooks he couldn’t tell the covers were made from Cheetos wrappers. I talked to Tyler some more after that telling him I would talk to him for twenty minutes then had to go because there was other things I had to do but when he started getting upset over his breakup I agreed to talk to him for five more minutes.
        The next day in my Drawing I class we learned about how to shade a drawing and also how to make lines better. I thought while learning this that I might really enjoy woodburning with all I learned in the class. After my Drawing I class I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Then I went to that class and found out I got 81% on the exam. On my way to Those Were the Days I found three new bottle caps for my collection and I went to the store and got a jar full of Bubble Up bottle caps with bent edges and insides lined with cork thinking I could make something from them for the Print Club and I remembered how I once read that collections can often stem from memories of or past. I also got a postcard of Craters of the Moon National Park, which I would try and frame and hang on a wall as rock formations kind of have a spiritual feeling for me. After I got back to UCM I took a walk around campus and found another bottle cap for my collection. I also realized just how big this campus really was.
        When I got back I read about how girls with Asperger syndrome will often try to blend in with others and get very exhausted from doing it, and also causing them to go undiagnosed and their apparently unknown fits of exhaustion cold cause them to be misdiagnose as bipolar. During dinner I realized I could make a necklace from one of the bottle caps I got at Those Were the Days, using the knife my dad got me. I also figured out how to shorten my North American Indian abstract to make it two hundred fifty words or less and learned on-line how to put a word count on my paper. While I ran on the treadmill I found the perfect image for my bottle cap necklace: calligraphy done by the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “Peace within oneself, peace within the world,” inside a Zen brush painted circle. I got back and I took strips of board leftover from the sheets I cut out for my collages to make a yarn painting. I talked to my dad, a professional PhD psychologist, who agreed that coexisting conditions may make it harder for girls with autism to get the diagnosis. I also talked to Tyler, who didn’t talk so much about his break up this time. However that night I did not get any sleep at all.

        The next morning I found I couldn’t find the sheet I had for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group with the list of times and places for or meetings so I e-mailed Presley Wehrle from the Office of Student Activities asking for her to resend it. I later went to my Algebra class and got back a four out of five on my study guide though partly because of a grading error and I showed it to the instructor and got back a five out of five. I also got one hundred percent on the quiz. I also read an article on Wrong Planet about how many people told their friends they had Asperger syndrome and it caused those friends to stop being friends with them.
        Later on I finished my abstract. During my North American Indian class, when I was ready to take a nap afterwards from exhaustion, the instructor told us about Saudi Arabia Day in that library at 3:30Shortly after my North American Indian class I went to Saudi Arabia Day where there was an exhibition in the museum of traditional Saudi arts and handicrafts and I stepped out of my finicky eating habits and tried some delicious Saudi food. Saudi Arabia I knew was a country somewhat involved in a conflict between Buddhists and Muslims in Bangladesh where Bengali settlers were evicting the predominantly Buddhist hill tribes of eastern Bangladesh off their lands while the Bengali army and the Saudi-funded Islamist missionary group al-Rabat joined in trying “civilize the heathens.” Eastern Bangladesh and Northeastern India were as far east as the ancient Arab-Islamic empire spread as the jungles of that area prevented Arab-Islamic conquerors from moving into there and cut them off from peninsular Southeast Asia. Yet here at Saudi Arabia Day these things hardly seemed to have any importance to myself or others.
        I got back to my dorm and talked to Tyler whose older brother he told me was having another baby and I told Tyler I was happy for him. I also made two of those necklaces from the bottle caps in the jar I got, including one for myself. Then I took a nap to make up for my loss of sleep. After I got back from the Rec Center I took out my recycling, and then made five more roses from straws. I also talked to Tyler some more.
        The next day I rode with Emily and Kiera from my Drawing I class to the Nelson and paid Emily the $5. When we got there, we went on a scavenger hunt to find certain kinds of paintings listed on a sheet of paper. After we were done I heard Kiera telling our instructor that she was thinking of doing art therapy for children with Down syndrome and told her and Emily as we were leaving the museum about Tyler and some unforgettable experiences I had with him. I told them about some environmental crafts I did and they thought that sounded great. We went to Spin Pizza afterwards where I also got a new non-crown bottle cap from my drink.
       Later I started thinking some people with autism may go misdiagnosed with AD/HD as they are particularly sensitive and thus prone to distraction by certain sensory experiences. Later I sent out an e-mail to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group about the next meeting. I got back and I made a flower from receipts to decorate a hairpin. I also went to the Print Club where our faculty advisor told us to bring any sort of artistic creation we felt like bringing to sell at our booth at Those Were the Days that we were going to set up. After the meeting I made another coaster from receipts and I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning I refilled one of my medication prescriptions and did some laundry. I also called my mom asking her to send fifty dollars from my account at home to my account at school which she said she would do. Then I read some reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I called my mom again and I told her about my medication and she said she would try and have her friend Mrs. Wendland sent it up as she and Dave were in our vacation house in Colorado for about a week longer. She also suggested trying to get people to come to the autism group by sending out personal invitations to those who had already come.
        Later I made one hundred sixty dreidels from plastic bottle caps and toothpicks and after dinner I made twenty-seven beads from cigarette boxes. I used some gum boxes to store those beads, hair bands, paper clips, and teabag strings so I wouldn’t need to store them in cigarette boxes and could make more beads from them. Then I worked on some trellises made from bottle rings and twist-ties. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on an outline for my yarn painting, depicting Mahatma Gandhi. Then I talked to Tyler for a few minutes.
        After talking to Tyler, I started cutting apart a leather belt I had that was too small for me to make bracelets using the knife my dad got me but as I was cutting apart strips to make strings, I got an awful cut on my thumb and quickly wrapped it in paper towels to stop the blood from flowing out. Then I took a little nap before writing in my meditation journal and while I did, I read on a website about Shambhala arts (contemplative arts in the Shambhala Buddhist community) I learned about the Heaven principle, the principle of the unknown. Then I read about the Earth principle, the principle of one’s inspiration. Then I read about the Human principle, the principle of bringing one’s heart and awareness into the process. I also watched a video of a Shambhala arts class where they were making collages and were supposed to learn about their subjects in the process. Then I watched another Shambhala arts video of a man making music and thought maybe I could inspire myself to play my flute some more if I found some new music to play and get out of my routine. I also sent a picture of my collage to my mom who said she liked it and couldn’t wait to see the final product.

        The next morning, I found three new bottle caps for my collection while sorting some recycling in Ellis after I saw a guy throw away a cardboard pack of beers loaded with cans, found some new pebbles outside when I recycled the cardboard, cleaned my bathroom, and swept my floors. Then I worked on some earrings made from bread tops and my bags woven from bags. Then I read some most of the reading for the past few days and that day for my World Masterpieces class, taking ten minute breaks after each hour where I sorted some recycling and took some photos. After I got back to Ellis I sorted some more recycling on my floor. Later I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi, made some dreidels from bottle caps, and a little after running on the treadmill for an hour I talked to Tyler.

        On Monday in my Drawing I class I continued to improve my drawing ability. After class I read the rest of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I realized I could stop the inside of my bottle cap necklaces from smearing or smudging by putting some tape over them and I did that after I finished my Algebra homework. I ate dinner with Mary and I worked on my yarn painting some more after that as well as my bag woven from bags. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on the design for a mandala made from plastic bags while I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I tried to pass the practice test a few times but couldn’t do it though I still had until 12 the next night. Later I read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After my North American Indian class I went to Music Night where Tom and Dr. Mayfield showed up to and I had them both write down a song on a piece of receipt paper. Then first we played Radioactive, then Amazing, Just the Way You Are, then Here Comes the Sun. We guessed soon that Brian picked the first, I played the second, and Dr. Mayfield picked the third.
        After the meeting I saw Monica about to sign up to volunteer with the Special Olympics, and she seemed fairly happy to see me and said she mixed up the time of the meeting. I worked on that bag woven from bags when I got to dinner and Mary passed by my table admiring the project. I realized after I got back from the Rec Center that I could make my mandala smoother if I covered it with packing tape and I made a necklace from a plastic bottle cap and straws. I sent a picture of my plastic bag mandala, my Gandhi yarn painting, and my straw necklace to my dad and he loved them. I also talked to Tyler and thought, while you could say looking after someone with a disability like him can be an emotional burden, other things in my life become less so from learning to deal with him and the same could be so with educators and health care professionals and even if it costs more to provide autistic and others support, in doing so it would cost less to make our educators and medical professionals more productive.
        The next morning during my Drawing I class I continued improving my drawing skills. Afterwards I read most of the reading for Friday in my World Masterpieces class. During that class we talked about how societies coddle girls and ask boys not to show any emotion and wondered if that could have any effect on how girls on the spectrum show their emotions more than boys and be mis/diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After class I passed the practice test. Then I e-mailed Dr. Mayfield asking her if I should start looking to enroll in classes for next semester and she e-mailed me back saying yes. I also sent out a group e-mail and individual e-mails to all the students in the group.
        Afterwards I got some packing tape, magnetic tape, board, and super glue at the Union bookstore. On my way back I thought of how people in inclusive classroom settings have been demonstrated in studies to have more sensitivity, problem-solving skills, and leadership skills and that if future politicians were more like that our government would do things that were more beneficial to people and “paying it forward,” like providing Head Start programs. When I got back I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and decided to put the Indian flag in the background with the wheel Gandhi and his people used to help themselves achieve their independence. While I ran on the treadmill I did a planning drawing for a snack wrapper collage of Pablo Picasso, also on the autism spectrum. When I got back to my dorm, I worked on that bag woven from bags while I talked to Tyler. I also got a new quarter for my collection when I went down to get a snack from the vending machine.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got a 94.12% on my test and then I finished the study guide and started on the next homework assignment. When I got back to Ellis, I read the reading for my North American Indian class and started on the role-playing assignment. During that class I got a call on my cellphone, and I later found out it was from the Office of Academic Advising, and I called them back and scheduled a meeting for next Thursday at 10:30. Then I bought some more super glue at the Union bookstore. When I got back, I took the box my mom sent my coat in into the recycling bin outside. Then I went to Walgreen’s and got some Altoids to make dioramas, floss, some packing tape, and a new quarter from my change, then I went to Hasting’s and got the November/December 2013 issue of Poets and Writers, the November 2013 issue of Shambhala Sun, Volume 17, Issue 100 of Ancient American, the November/December 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and National Geographic’s The World’s Greatest Empires: A History of Power. When I got back, I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi some more. Then I talked to Tyler while I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes. I also sorted some more recycling in Ellis.
        On Friday I didn’t have my Drawing I class so I used a lot of that time to read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During the class I got four out of five on the quiz. After class I got a new flash drive as I lost my old one, again. I got back and reorganized my recyclables. Then I went down to Hasting’s and got a November 2013 issue of Total Film magazine with an article on the next two Hobbit movies, and Issue 105, Volume 20 of MovieMaking magazine, with screenwriting exercises and I realized now that I have plenty of screenplay ideas, I might try using some of the exercises in one of my books that I could use before because I didn’t have them. I got back and watched Spongebob during dinner, remembering how Monica watches the show. Then I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and some Oriental stress balls made from straw wrappers. I also decided that in order to not procrastinate on the book report on the book for my North American Indian class Cahokia to try and read ten pages every night. I read eighteen while I was on the treadmill and loved it. I got back and worked on a scrapbook with a snack wrapper for a cover and made a dream catcher from a glow necklace.

        The next morning before I went to bed I made some more beads from cigarette boxes. Then I read an article on girls with Asperger syndrome, about how Asperger syndrome can culminate in depression, how Marilyn Monroe is suspected to have had Asperger syndrome, greatly contributing to her depression, how Lisa Simpson is thought of as a girl with Asperger syndrome, and how many girls with Asperger syndrome become obsessed with looks, dress, and dieting. After breakfast I went down to Hasting’s and got the Historical Collector’s Edition JKF Assassination: the 50th Anniversary Edition as well as an illustrated children’s version of a great classic The Epic of Sundiata, a West African epic called Sundiata: The Lion-King of Mali. Then I went to Bi-Lo Mart and got the current issue of National Geographic Traveler. I picked up and recycled several bottles and cans on my way back.
        Shortly after I got back, I got back I did some laundry. Then I sorted some recycling and found another non-crown bottle cap for my collection. Then I worked on that bag woven from bags and the role-playing assignment for my North American Indian class. I sorted some more recycling and made a stamp from a plastic bottle cap and some Styrofoam. I also read Sundiata at dinner during which I read that the warrior-king of Mali who freed his country from enemy invasion, was, in addition to being born unable to walk, also unable to speak. He was also driven into exile by rivals in the court of Mali shortly before Mali was invaded. Later while I ran on the treadmill, I read fifteen more pages of Cahokia. After I finished running, I saw an ad for an event on campus the next Friday at 7 called Experience Africa hosted by the UCM African Student Organization which would feature music, dancing, poetry, and fashion shows. I got back and read about half of the next day’s reading for my World Masterpieces class. I also realized that maybe, since so many girls with autism find a way to “blend in,” those who would have trouble with speech mimic speaking the way parrots, who don’t actually speak, but manipulate the muscles in their body to stimulate sound, say things.

        The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual to try and get ahead of my workload, thinking my World Masterpieces take-home exam was due on Friday when it was actually due next Monday. I used that time to work on some bike streamers made from snack wrappers. On my way back to the dorm from my Drawing I class I found another pebble for my collection. I finished reading all the reading for my World Masterpieces class and I got a four out of five on the day’s quiz. Afterwards I tried to finish all of the assignment for the next day for my College Algebra class but there were some problems I had a lot of trouble with and couldn’t focus so well on all of the sudden. I got some help in the Student Success Center though some of the tutors took a while to get to me and figure out what to do. I got done all I could before taking a break to eat dinner, which I did with Autrey and Amanda while I worked on that bag, then worked until the Union computer lab closed at eight, realizing that I was really exhausted from hearing Tyler with his problems with Mary. I started understanding how many girls on the spectrum can get tired from trying to blend in with others and wondered if all the work they put into physical appearance was to help them feel respected by their peers and thought I needed one of my medications to do this in the future. I didn’t go to the Rec Center that night but read twelve more pages of Cahokia. I later called my mom and reminded her to wire one hundred fifty dollars from home to my account at school. I also talked to Tyler a little bit. I also wondered if Marilyn Monroe never put so much work into her looks to get respect.
        The next morning, I finished my Algebra homework and only got less than half a percent off for lateness. After class I worked on my North American Indian role-playing paper. Despite feeling limited energy, I managed to go to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group meeting and Tom and Dr. Mayfield were still the only ones who showed up. However, when I suggested several activities for next week, such as bingo, trivia, or ice breakers, Tom said, “Bingo,” this time with a lot more enthusiasm and Dr. Mayfield said she thought that would be great and said she would bring prizes to. When I got back to my dorm, I read some more of the blog post on women with Asperger syndrome by Tania Marshall and saw it also included a great sense of humor. After that I made another stamp from a plastic bottle cap and Styrofoam and I ate dinner with Connor, John, and a few other people from my hall. I worked on some Oriental stress balls afterwards and some earrings made from bread tops. I read twelve more pages of Cahokia on the treadmill and shortly after I got back, I talked to Tyler some more explaining how I felt about always listening to his problems about Mary and he agreed to talk about them less.
        The next day during my Drawing I class I learned how to do better wrist movement by balancing my hand on the paper. Later I got an idea to make a Green Man face from plastic bottle caps and wire. I finished my Algebra practice quiz after my World Masterpieces class got out, and then I worked on and edited the role-playing paper for my North American Indian class. I got back to my dorm and worked on my mandala made from plastic bags and started on my Green Man made from bottle caps. I covered my giraffe sculpture made from snack wrappers with packing tape to make it sturdier and have a nicer texture and realized that like a giraffe, I have my head high even when there’s trouble. Later on, I went to a SexEd trivia on my floor and then I read another twelve pages of Cahokia. I also talked to Tyler some more while I made five more stamps made from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. I also realized how I’m sort of like a giraffe in that I’m very independent.

 

        The next morning, I went to my academic advising meeting with Krisana and enrolled for Modern Sub-Saharan Africa on-line, Early American Literature, World Archaeology, and Film Appreciation, also on-line. Then I went to my Algebra class where I got one hundred percent on the quiz and got more than halfway through the study guide. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class afterwards while I sat with Alex at lunch. After class I finished that paper and e-mailed to my instructor before the deadline at 12. I also got a call from the Office of Student Financial Services and found out I needed to fill out a tax registration form and went over to their office and got one. After fixing some of my flowers made from straws and my giraffe sculpture, I ate dinner with Oscar, Logan, and a first-year THRIVE student whose name I forgot and found out from Logan that Ryan collects bottle caps like I do by going onto Coca-Cola’s website and winning bottle caps as prizes. I later saw Ryan at the THRIVE Halloween party and he said he’d sometime show me how to do that. Later I ran on the treadmill while I read ten more pages of Cahokia. I got back and talked to Tyler some more. I also talked to my mom who I found out had sent the money she said she would.

First Few Days as a Regular Student

  

The day had come for me to go back to Warrensburg, this year as a regular student. I found my running shoes then started packing the car until there was practically no room left. I got some printer paper, notebooks, and ink cartridges at Office Depot. Then I realized my running shoes maybe at home. I called Cam and asked him to check in my room and he said they were there, so we drove home and got them. Then my mom drove me to Warrensburg for half an hour, then I drove the rest of the way, getting thirty-five more minutes of driving. Finally, we got there and unpacked, and I filled out a form about my room and got my key. I got settled in and met Ro and Mckenzie, my neighbors from across the hall.

On the way to the Campus Kick-Off, I met one of the students in my hall, Richard. Then I got to the Multipurpose Building, rem,embering how only a few months ago I saw Cassie graduate there, leaving UCM for good. The Campus Kick-Off was pretty exciting though. I got a picture of some “sumo wrestlers” and I saw Kriti, Josh, Levi, the last two now THRIVE mentors, Tay, Andrea, and Solomon from my Public Speaking class, and Oscar, Ryan, and Autrey. I enjoyed some hot dogs, ice cream, and lemonade, got my picture taken with others on the floor, and went on an obstacle course.

On my way back I got to know my CA Maria. I learned she was born in the Philippines, grew up in Saudi Arabia, and was majoring in nursing and she got to know me and how my main passion was film. When I got back, I tried to carve a bust of the Buddha using a piece of wood I recently found lying around and worked on some calligraphy and a trellis made from bottle cap rings and twist-ties. I also took some more pictures. Then I went to the mandatory meeting at 8:30 where Maria had us write something about us on a piece of paper, throw it in the air for it to fall and someone to pick it up, then find the person who wrote it. I had a little trouble finding my person due to trouble reading the handwriting, but I soon figured out who he was. This exercise reminded me that with the right structure, autistic people can learn to socialize and the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups will be able to help service providers learn such things so the right services can become more accessible to autistic people.

Maria then went over some rules: no alcohol for people under twenty-one, no one under twenty-one in a room where people are drinking alcohol, and no more than four people drinking alcohol at a time; no candles or incense burning; if we felt compelled to burn candles or incense for any reason, they could set us up with a room to do it; quiet hours were from 10PM-10AM from Sunday through Thursday and 12PM-10AM Friday and Saturday. We also met our residence hall director. After the meeting I got my mailbox code and a roommate agreement form. Connor had not yet shown up. I started filling out my part of the roommate agreement form and sure enough, Connor came to our room. I got introduced to him and learned he was changing his major from aviation to a double major in Business and Technology. I also found out he likes Family Guy, American Dad, King of the Hill, The Cleveland Show, and Bob’s Burgers.

After settling into life at UCM, I worked on my trellis made from bottle caps and carved an egg out of wood, which gave me some idea about how whittling works. I also introduced myself to people on the hall including a nearby roommate named Kyley. I started writing some of my screenwriting ideas down in my little notebook while I waited in line to get me computer registered which happened soon enough. In the Union, where I went to get a new student ID, I started noticing how strange it was that Cassie wasn’t here, and in the lobby, I remembered being here on the exact same day that I had met Emily. 

I later found out I did not need to get a new ID. As I was going back to my dorm, I bought two posters: one with several different beer bottles saying, “Life is full of difficult decisions,” and the other of the Berlin Wall with a message in graffiti saying, “Mother, should I trust the government?” I got back and thanked Dave for helping to pay my tuition. I also started on my ball-in-a-cage. Then I ran on the treadmill for about an hour as I had done last year. When I got back, I took some more pictures and, to help me deal with stress, wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next day Algebra class had started. I waited outside until a short, dark-haired woman unlocked the door. As I sat down, I noticed she was extremely young, not much older than I. When we all sat down, she started talking to the class. She looked very nervous, and I was reminded strongly of Cassie. We would be registering with an on-line program for this class for which we needed a code that came with a packet. I and a few other people who didn’t yet have these were given temporary codes.  Then I started working on the assignment. 

On my way back to the dorm I took some pictures of leaves. Later I went to my North American class and my impressions of the teacher, and the class all started out on a positive note. I called Erin when I got back to tell her I was all moved in. Then Maria walked by our door to ask if we had finished the roommate agreement form. I told her I hadn’t, and she asked that I get it done as soon as I could. Then Connor came to our room, and we finished our roommate agreement form. As I went into the cafeteria, I decided I would try and stop eating so much sweets like I did last year to help me be more relaxed and focused. I also saw Hillary and Philip, as they were about to leave and we all said hi to each other and Amanda Rothe, now a second-year THRIVE student, as I was about to leave. When I got back to my dorm I found a Lonely Planet book on Northeast India at a really good price on Amazon. I also figured that even though Emily was not the girl I expected to date, that’s ok because like my granddad says, we’re all on a journey and it wouldn’t be a journey to know the end before you got there. After I ran on the treadmill, I talked to Tyler and Gabe on the phone and then wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next day after my classes I went to the Student Success Center and got help on my math homework. Then I checked out a Lonely Planet book on Mongolia and one on India. I went to my World Masterpieces class, where, to my surprise, I saw Philip. On my way back to the dorm I found to new American Cinematographer issues for my collection that they give out on a rack in the Martin Building and I took several more pictures then got back and worked on a lampshade made from straws and my handbag for Emily.

Later I took out my trash and recycling bin then went down to the THRIVE hall where I saw Autrey, Alex, and Paige. Then I got most of my books in the mail as I saw Mary passing by. I went into town and got a summer 2013 issue of Sufi magazine, the latest issue of Circle magazine, and Time magazine’s Your Body: The Science of Keeping it Healthy. I also got a fifty-dollar Amazon gift card, and I took some more photos on my way back which helped me learn to slow down in life. When I got back Mckenzie asked me if I wanted to go get dinner with some of the others though I declined because I had already eaten but her invitation made me feel like the people on the hall really wanted to include me in things. 

When I went down to the Rec Center, so late from making last minute changes to my meditation journal and having two times where the vending machine wouldn’t give me the drink I paid for and getting a refund that I missed the first King of the Hill episode, I decided from then on, I would sort the recycling after I worked out. I talked to Tyler and Gabe afterwards and Gabe invited me to the wedding of him and Alex (a girl from THRIVE who graduated the same year he did) on the twenty-first of June in Washington D.C. Then I called my mom to tell her I was adjusting well to life at UCM, and she was thrilled. I also hung out with Kyley, Richard, Thad, and a few other people on my hall in Kyley’s room who I told about Emily and one of my screenplays which they thought sounded great. Afterwards I knocked on Mckenzie’s door and told her I was sorry I wasn’t able to make it to dinner and next time I’ll get everything I need to do done before then so I could make it and that I’d love to do those kinds of things with them and she said, “Alright.” I got back to my room and wrote in my gratitude journal.

The next morning, before I went to bed, I worked on my ball-in-a-cage. After I woke up and did my meditation, I got the idea to make Phil a card thanking him for all the hours he gave me at Hen House. During my Algebra class, I got done a lot of the assignment that would be due next week. I got back and I worked on my trellises. I also took some more pictures on the way to my North American Indian class. Later I realized I could have easily made it to dinner with the others if I hadn’t gone into town. I got all my supplies for my Drawing I class at the Union bookstore and as I was leaving, I ran into Dr. Mayfield and told her about the poster board idea I had for the group, and we agreed on maybe meeting her on Thursday to talk about the group.

               

I got back to my dorm and worked on my lampshade and ordered on Amazon: Sahara: A Natural History, The Little Book of Contemplative Photography, and a Lonely Planet book on Northeast India and one on Central Africa. I remembered how I planned to go to Equatorial Guinea as a bearing witness trip for the genocide of the Bubi people under their former government. I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class afterwards from The Epic of Gilgamesh and I realized I could continue reading it on the treadmill. I talked to Tyler when I got back, and then to my dad. Afterwards I played a Mario game with some of my hall mates, which I wasn’t very good at but at least had something to do with them. With my lack of skills in the game I learned to compensate to late sort of like what many autistic people go through in the real world.

The next day I saw Mary in the cafeteria and asked her how she was doing. She said ok, sounding a little stressed out. In my Drawing I class, our teacher taught us to hold our pencils lower in our hands and use them to measure the angles of what we’re drawing. After my Drawing class I worked some more on my ball-in-a-cage. Then I went to my World Masterpieces class where Philip told the class about his epilepsy and what he needed if he had a seizure and found a willing volunteer, certified in these situations to help. I realized this is the kind of self-advocacy autistic people need to learn sometime. As I was hearing about Gilgamesh in the class I thought he sounded sort of like a warrior mentioned in the Shambhala tradition of Buddhism like the Tibetan Epic of Gesar of Ling.

              

After class I decided to get myself rewards like from Jazzman’s Coffee Shop in the Union for sorting recycling, repurposing so much trash, and writing in my meditation journal to one day give to my future children to help them learn about meditation to help them survive the world and its flaws using it. Back in my room I worked on my handbag, my lampshade, and my trellises. I also remembered how my mom said the guy who founded Wrong Planet in The United States of Autism sounded impressive and I realized I would say a lot of the same things on neurodiversity that he did.  I worked on my travel plans in the Union where I saw Hillary and Philip and Philip congratulated me on my relationship with Emily. Later I went to Crazy Dog’s and took several pictures along the way, and I got a new bottle cap for my collection. While I ran on the treadmill later that night, I was sort of able to tell how the King of the Hill episode I watched was written for its effect which I guess meant I was becoming more of a screenwriter. When I got back, I wrote in my gratitude journal and worked on my ball-in-a-cage.

The next day I went to Walgreen’s, taking several pictures along the way, and I got some shredded mozzarella cheese and pepperoni for pizza bagels. When I got back, I finished my Algebra assignment. When the day was nearly over, I had almost finished my ball-in-a-cage. On Sunday, I finished it completely. I told my dad and the phone and showed him a picture. He and my granddad, who were eating together were really impressed. Later I worked on my handbag and later made a toilet paper roll diorama of Swayambhunath Stupa in Nepal. Then I had dinner with several people on the floor, which Maria invited us all to do, and Ryan saw me and joined us. I also wrote in my gratitude journal that night.

Before my Drawing I class I read a little more of the assigned reading for The Epic of Gilgamesh. During the class we learned to draw still-lifes drawing just the corners and overlapping lines, using a variety of shades, lengths, and thickness of lines. During my World Masterpieces class, I got a four out of five on the quiz. I got back to my dorm and continued working on my lampshade. Then I finished an assignment then a quiz for my Algebra class. Then I texted Emily back and forth and told her about how I dedicated the last Ben’s Blog post to her. She said, “Aww that’s sweet.” I then told her I loved her.

I finished another Algebra assignment then texted Emily back and forth at dinner. After I finished eating, I worked a little more on organizing my stamp collection. Then I talked more to Tyler. While I was running on the treadmill, I realized how even though health insurance agencies might think providing for autism would cost them more, if so many people with autism are underemployed, they might not be able to buy health insurance from them in the first place. When I got back, I worked on my handbag for Emily.

I woke up the next morning and Emily and I texted each other back and forth. She said, “Love U,” and I said, “I love you to.” Then she said, “Do you want to talk,” then “Call me.” I called her and found out she wouldn’t be able to come during Homecoming Week because her mom would be in New York during that time, but she would come another week. She said she missed me, and I said I missed her too. Soon I had to hang up so I could get ready for class but before that I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

After breakfast I got help with my Algebra homework at the Student Success Center. I took several pictures on my way to my math class and before it started, I finished the reading for my North American Indian class. During class I got one hundred percent on the math quiz. Then I registered with a permanent code and got back my worksheet with a five out of five. Today was the second day our teacher had not been there, and I decided to e-mail her wishing her to get well. 

After class I ate lunch with Ryan, Marty, and David from THRIVE. Ryan invited me to a football game, but I told him I wasn’t able to go because of my workload. I felt a little bad so before I left, I told him I would try and get together with him another time and he thought that was great. Later I read the reading for my North American Indian class and got some brown construction paper at the Union to make toilet paper roll dioramas. During class that day I learned how the theories that the Mayan pyramids and other achievements of Native Americans were caused by Egyptians, Welshmen, Hebrews, Vikings, or Chinese (suggesting that they couldn’t do such things themselves) were shown not to be true since at these sites, the texts there didn’t not resemble any of their languages, the artifacts didn’t not resemble the artifacts of those people, and the physical remains were shown to be Native American. After class I texted Emily back and forth while I worked on my lampshade. 

As I was leaving the Union, I ran into Dr. Mayfield, and we talked about the group a little bit and she told me she might be able to meet about it on Thursday. I got back and did some laundry while I texted Emily. I asked her if she was ok and she said, “I just miss you.” I said, “I know.  I miss you to.”  She said, “Aww,” then I said, “Well youre a great friend and a great girlfriend and I love you.”

Later I worked on some bags woven from bags and took several pictures. Then I got a knock on my door. I answered it and it was Kyley, and she said she was going to ask if Connor wanted to go eat with her and several others and invited me along to. I agreed to come along. Then I started seeing how Emily sounds so much like she does in person in her texts. I did some more photography after wards and on the treadmill, I found the perfect thing to put on the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group magnets, cable holders, and pencil cups. When I finished running on the treadmill I joined Kyley, Mckinsey, Ro, and six other girls at Players restaurant where I had some coke and chicken wings. 

The next day in my Drawing I class I learned about balancing my hand on a piece of paper while drawing. During my World Masterpieces class, I learned about the Greek term arête, meaning excellence, which I believed I had read about one time in my book Family Guy and Philosophy. After class was over, I wrote thank you notes, one to my grandmom for the fifty dollar check she had sent me, and one to Phil for all the hours he had given me at Hen House. I made a collage on the front of my grandmom’s card of one of the Ten Ox-Herding pictures from Zen Buddhism, with a man riding his ox to the market. Then I called the OAS Office and found out Dr. Mayfield was all booked up for Thursday.

Later I went down to the Union and got myself a white chocolate blast as a reward for all my environmental crafts. When I got back found out The Little Book of Contemplative Photography had arrived in the mail. Then after dinner I found I couldn’t find my key and decided to see if it fell on my way to the Union or back, but then I remembered I had to have had it before dinner because I would have needed it to get into my room, so I asked them had the front desk to help me get into my room and when they unlocked my door I found my key in there. Then Emily and I texted each other back and forth and I ended up doing a lot of work to fix my shelf for my toilet paper roll dioramas that I decided to save the day’s entry for my meditation journal for tomorrow. Emily said, “Love u,” and I said, “I love you to.” After I got back from the Rec Center, I decided to take a break from my usual routine, something my granddad taught me about, by writing in my gratitude journal in the lounge area instead of dorm. 

The next day I worked on some Algebra homework in class. Our teacher was still absent that day. Then I read the reading for my North American Indian class. After class I went to the Union and e-mailed my Algebra teacher, then got myself a supreme white chocolate blast from Jazzman’s Coffee Shop in the Union as a reward for writing in my meditation journal for the last two years to give my future children lessons on meditation to help them survive in the world. I saw Kriti there and I told her about everything going on with me and about Emily and me. I drank my coffee drink while working on my handbag. 

Emily and I texted each other later on. She asked me if I was alright, and I said I was just a little overwhelmed. She said, “Aww its ok. " I told her about the handbag when she asked her what I was making for her and she said, “Aww thanks babe youre too sweet.” She also said, “I wish I could be hanging out with you right now. Later that night I talked to my mom and learned I would be going home for Labor Day with Alex Place from THRIVE and his mom. 

               

Last Few Days to Finish My Summer Plans

        On the first day of August, I went to work, and my mom returned my Lonely Planet Mongolia book to the library. After work I got a copy of the new National Geographic issue, and I filled out a request form for Thursday and Sunday. I got home and I called Erin in response to her calling me yesterday while I was at work, and she asked if I could get together the next day. I told her how I wouldn’t be available then and we decided to get together another time. I called my granddad and told him about how Emily hadn’t responded to any of my calls or texts recently. He thought it could be due to her ADHD or that she could be on vacation. My mom and I also talked about The United States of Autism and I told her how maddening it is that people buy into “autism charities” that do things like pay more to their executives then they do for autism services, and she said I could definitely help counterbalance that.

                The next day I practiced my flute for half an hour. I also talked to Tyler, and he said Mary said the breakup was about the fact that she was stressed and wasn’t herself and she didn’t want a long-distance relationship. Later I made a few roses out of straws and gave one to Kyley and one to Hunter.  I also talked to my granddad some more and he thought Emily could need some space. I talked to my dad, and he thought her not responding to my texts or calls could be due to her ADHD or her being on vacation. I also called work and found out I work on Monday from 3-10 the next week. 

                The next day while I was at work I decided to slow down in my life and enjoy my relatives being here. After work I talked to Tyler and comforted him after his attempt to get Mary back didn’t go so well. I realized Emily could not be responding to my calls or texts because she was depressed from missing me so much. The next day I worked on my travel plans to Tanzania and Madagascar and a bag woven from bags that morning and had dinner with my relatives and I realized that Emily could have possibly gotten a job taking care of children, as was her passion, and could come home too tired to talk. I also practiced my flute for another half an hour. Hunter came into the sunroom where I was and began asking a lot of questions which made me see how Emily could get tired from working with kids for so long. I later talked to Tyler on the phone for so long that I didn’t get around to telling my dad or granddad what I figured out about Emily, but I figured that was ok as his problems were worse than mine. 

On Monday I realized the next morning that providing services for autism is really a lot better for everyone because it would cut so many costs associated with not doing it. Before I went to bed, I read a lot of a novel called Water Touching Stone. Then after I woke up, my mom, Dave, aunt, uncle, and cousins all went to Powell Garden’s the next day and I found out I had been enrolled in my classes. I also thought it is one thing to make budget cuts, but to not include people with disabilities in them is another. When I got home, I deposited my paycheck and got a new bottle cap from a drink I got at Better Cheddar and later I talked to Tyler. 

As I was deleting several old e-mails, I saw a quote in one of them that said, “What lies before you and what lies behind you is nothing compared to what lies within you.” I also signed a petition to end tax-subsidized CEO bonuses saying I was an autistic person, and I find it unbelievable that the government can afford that but not to provide for us. I added myself as anonymous, but I figured that would make a more powerful statement about society’s treatment of autistics seeing how I chose not to share my name. I later had dinner with my mom, Dave, brothers, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That night I called Erin and found out she couldn’t get together on Thursday and I decided I would try next Monday and then I texted Oscar to see if he wanted to get together on Thursday with Jack and Tyler.  He said that would be great and we agreed to pick him up after my art class. I also found out Emily is on Facebook and changed my status to “in a relationship with Emily Webb.” I thought with us both on Facebook, I could show her I was able to give her some space.

                The next day I got my haircut before I went to work. Then I got home and talked to Tyler who said Mary said she wanted to date him but couldn’t find the time. The next morning, I started to see that autistic people may be driven to commit crime, so they don’t have to feel so invisible.  I also rode my bike for about an hour and I left Mary a message telling her the things Tyler said about how he feels about her.  Later I fixed some of my flowers made from straws and I deleted several e-mails.  While I did, I saw Autrey said, “Great,” in response to my new relationship status. 

                I talked to Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday at the Cheesecake Factory then go to the Frida Kalho Diego Rivera exhibit at the Nelson. Afterwards on my way to Winstead’s with my Granddad, we agreed that while it may cost health insurance companies money to provide for autistic people, it would save them money on providing for health crises otherwise connected to autism, such as bladder problems, diabetes, and obesity. We ate at Winstead’s again where I got a picture of a moth on the glass window. After we left, I realized people with Down syndrome once had to fight hard to get things like group homes and other services. 

My granddad and I went to Barnes and Noble where I got the October 2013 issue of Mindful magazine, a September/October 2013 issue of Buddhadharma, National Geographic’s 100 Secret Journeys: The World’s Best Hidden Adventures, a September /October 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and an August 2013 issue of Empire magazine with an article on the upcoming Hobbit movie The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Then we went to the Pathless Land where we did the Chakra meditation again. After the class was over, my granddad said while we were in the car that Tyler probably finds it very liberating that I listen to him, which probably no one else has ever done. At Roasterie Coffee, I got a good picture of my muffin before my granddad took me home.

I got home and saw on the cover of the latest issue of Mindful, it said 3 Ways to Take Better Pictures. I got a text from Emily, and we texted back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” Then I said, “I can’t wait to see you again,” and she said, “Yeah,” and “I have miss talking to you.” I also talked to Tyler and listened to him about Mary. Then I realized I could make windmills from my super glue bottles, one of which I would give to Erin, who’s always dreamed of traveling to Europe, when I saw her next. That night I dreamt that I got a job offer in Taiwan so I could be there to help its people with their skewed relationship with China and Emily asked if I wanted to get married there.

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class again, getting twenty more minutes of driving. I almost finished another painting, and I learned block in shapes using different shades. Then I drove to Oscar’s house and took him, Jack, and I to my house getting another twenty minutes of driving. We had lunch then swam and tossed a Nerf football and played Marco Polo then my brother’s old version Merde Schiza. I drove Jack and Oscar home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving.

When I got back home, I read Mindful’s article on photography where I learned that three different aspects of it are color, texture, and people. Then I went down to Starbucks and wrote some poetry. Later I took several pictures like they suggested in Mindful and I talked to my dad who asked me what I would like for my birthday. I said something like The Little Book of Contemplative Photography or a book on whittling. He told me had gotten me a great pocketknife and a great piece of wood to carve a ball-in-a-cage. After I was done talking to him, I made two windmills, one of which I would give to Erin the next day.

On Friday afternoon I took several more pictures using the advice they wrote in Mindful then I was picked up by Erin and her mom. I gave her the windmill I made her which she thought was very clever and then we went to the Cheesecake Factory. After our main meal we enjoy some of their cheesecake which filled me up so much I could not finish the whole thing and had to get a to-go box. We went to the Nelson where I gave a dollar to help support their work and saw the Frida Kahlo Diego Rivera exhibit. While I was there, I saw several great photographs which demonstrated that, like the philosophy of contemplative photography, we don’t need great scenery to make great photographs. I also saw how Frida Kahlo’s work had a lot of color to it just like contemplative photos.

When I got home, I realized that substance abuse can really arise from low self-esteem among autistics. I also saw a girl from Tennessee in Good Luck, Charlie, who really reminded me of Emily, while I worked on my bag woven from bags. Then I called work and found out I work Monday from 3-7 Tuesday from 4-8, and Saturday from 11-7:30. The next morning, I cuddled an old teddy bear of mine pretending it was Emily getting a taste of what it would be like if it really was. After I got up and did my meditation, I refilled my prescription and then went to work.

While at work I got my employee birthday slip for a free pie and took some pictures of my M&Ms on my break. I realized that miksang photography is really just a philosophy of how great photography arises. I also realized that even if autism services cost us money, we would reimburse as they create jobs. After I got home, I realized that dream I had about Emily asking if I wanted to get married in Taiwan meant she always values my opinion about matters concerning our relationship. As I watched a Family Guy cut-away with Scarlett Johansson, her resemblance to Emily was just striking.

The next day I went to La Peep with my brothers, dad, and grandparents where my granddad gave me the latest issue of Smithsonian magazine and I took several pictures. I also realized that if parents of autistic children didn’t have to struggle to pay for their children’s services, they could buy more things that would really stimulate our economy. When I got home, I took several more photos and realized the elements of color and texture are in the environmental crafts I make like toilet paper roll dioramas and snack wrapper handbags. I also started to appreciate painting more. Later I helped Dave and Graham set up a studio downstairs in our old basement storage room.

After helping Dave I made another one of my bracelets from Hershey’s nugget wrapper. Then I saved more of Emily’s and my texts, and we texted back and forth.  I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.” Then I told her she was really beautiful, and I cuddled with a teddy bear pretending it was her. She said, “Aww,” and I could hear her voice in the texts like she was right next to me.  Emily then said, “I miss you.” 

The next morning, I realized Emily, Jack, and Tyler were all capable of leading normal lives, especially with new college programs available for them. Then I drove to my art class with Jack getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I painted, I saw more of what Donna meant when she said to block in your big shapes and mix the colors on your pallet. I took several pictures of things around the studio and realized contemplative photography helps you to slow down and notice colors like you would when doing a painting. I also drove Jack home and my mom and I to Bruce Smith, then home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving. 

Emily and I texted each other back and forth some more before I went to work. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I went to work and told Phil I would call him before the breaks started to tell him I would be available to work then, and he said that would be great. After work, my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, Graham, and I ate at a restaurant/movie theater called Standees in the Prairie Village shopping center. While we waited for our food, I talked to Tyler outside, who had called me while I was at work, and he said he got me several birthday presents.  I told him that was really thoughtful. Then we talked about Mary, and I told him I knew exactly how he felt from all my past break-ups.

After dinner, my mom, Dave, and I watched the movie Way, Way Back. When I got home, I found a bag inside my home with gummy worms, beef jerky, several chocolates, three ten-dollar Barnes and Noble gift cards, all with a card from Tyler. I talked to him some more on the phone and heard him talk about his break-up. The next day I took several pictures before I went to work. After work, I got Life magazine’s Remembering John Lennon, who was believed to be autistic. I realized how many autistic people can be afraid to speak out against discrimination for fear of the government based on abuse they’ve suffered in schools and health care institutions like I had in my life. I worked on my handbag for Emily a little more then I e-mailed my new roommate Connor, telling him about myself and asking him if he was bringing either a refrigerator or a microwave. I also realized that if I talked about some of my passions to Emily, she might not know how to say what she thinks, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in what I’m saying.

The next day I found out Connor had e-mailed me back and I learned he was from Jacksonville, North Carolina, is a sophomore, and that his interests are church, military, firearms, history, and travel. He told me he would probably be moving into a fraternity house sometime this year and didn’t know how long we’d be rooming together. He also said he was not bringing a fridge or a microwave. Later I went down to the bank and deposited my last paycheck and got a new bottle cap from my drink I got at Better Cheddar. I got home and worked on my handbag for Emily and a lampshade made from straws.

Emily and I texted each other back and forth. She said, “I miss you so bad,” and I said, “I know.  I feel the same way about you.” She said, “Aww youre so sweet Ben.” I said, “Well I love you,” and she said, “I want to cuddle you.” I said, “Me too.” I also realized that contemplative photography is also about being aware of things while you photograph them, and I worked more on my bags woven from bags.

My granddad took me to Winstead’s and when I got in, I saw, sitting at a far table, my grandmom, there to see me for my birthday before I went off to school. I opened my card from them and opened my present from them: a fifty-dollar debit card. I also went to Barnes and Noble where I got the new issue of Tricycle magazine. I went to the Pathless Land for the last time for a while meditating with the others sitting, breathing, and being. After the Pathless Land, my granddad and I skipped going to Roasterie Coffee since Emily had just texted me.

We texted back and forth when I got home, and she asked me what I missed about her. I said I missed practically everything about her, and she said, “Aww that’s so sweet Ben.” It felt good to see that Emily didn’t think of me as someone with something wrong with them because I had autism. She texted me goodnight and I texted her goodnight back. I also realized how politicians just don’t seem to want to help us because they have this notion of “picking yourself up by your bootstraps.”

I drove Jack and I to art class the next day, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I was there, I got several more pictures, including one of Jack break dancing. I drove Jack home and then to an estate sale, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While at the sale, I found a beautiful pink scarf which I bought for Emily. When she texted me, I told her I got her something at an estate sale.” She said, “Thanks babe that’s so sweet.” 

I drove to another estate sale, getting another ten minutes of driving. I bought Life Pictorial Atlas of the World, and Time-Life’s Ancient America, Barbarian Europe, Early Japan, Classical Greece, Early Islam, Imperial Rome, Age of Exploration, Ancient China, Historic India, Cradle of Civilization, Byzantium, and Renaissance for only thirty dollars. Then I drove to Target, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving. I got hygiene supplies, snack food, tea, and a mini-fridge. Then I drove back home, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving.

Back at home Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I asked her how work went, and she said she didn’t go because she had pink-eye. I said, “I’m sorry about that,” and that I hope she feels better soon. She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Sure.  I love you.” She said, “You too.”

I whittled a sword and a knife and worked on whittling a fish and made a bird beak to replace one that broke off my mom’s bird statue. She was pretty happy with it. Then I texted Emily back and forth some more. She asked if she was able to be there for my birthday would I want her there and I said, “Of course I would.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Of course. I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.”

She asked me why I got her something at an estate sale and I said it was because I thought it would be romantic and look good on her. She said, “Aww Ben,” and, “I miss you,” and I said, “I miss you too.”  We texted later and she said, “Cuddle.” I said, “I’d love to.” She said, “Really,” and I said, “Cuddle you?  Of course.” She said, “Aww.” Then I said, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” She said, “I love you too.” I also talked to Tyler and told him to resist the temptation to e-mail Mary.

The next morning Emily and I texted each other some more. I told her, “I love you.” She said, I want to cuddle you,” and I said, “I know.  Me to.” She asked me, “And will you hold my hand wherever we go?” And I said, “Definitely.” She asked if I could call her and I said certainly. She said, “Thanks babe love you.”

I called her and we talked on the phone. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said she didn’t have to get me anything. She insisted though and I told her she could just give me a Barnes and Noble gift card. She also said she wanted to cuddle me, that there was a special app called Tango I could download for free and we could video chat, that she wished she could come back to UCM and see me every day, and that she missed me. I told her I was cuddling a bear pretending it was her and “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” 

I called her back after my meditation, and she asked me if I would give her a hug and kiss when she got to school and when she left. I said I would and then I found out for her and told her that Homecoming Week was from October 25^th-27^th. She said she would miss me even more after that. Later she told me she missed me again and I told her I would love to cuddle her. I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

After we hung up, I got Tango. Once we figured out how it worked, we talked to each other on it and I saw her house and her cat Fuzzy. I showed her my mom, Jamie, the dogs, Peter, the rose I made her, and the scarf I got her and she liked them both. I told her, face-to-face, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” I started packing up and we texted while I did. She said the rose and the scarf were really beautiful and I said I thought of her when I got the scarf. She said, “Aww.” I said I to my mom from her and said hi to Emily back. Later I glued some more origami hearts together and worked on a bag woven from bags and whittling a fish.

I went over to my dad’s later that night and I opened my birthday presents. I got a Swedish-made knife, very sharp and great for whittling, two books on whittling-Old-Time Whittling: Easy Techniques for Classic Projects and The Art of Whittling, a block of wood from which to carve a ball-in-a-cage, and some finger guards. My dad read an excerpt from The Art of Whittling, a historical reprint, in a Hank Hillish voice, “The love of tools seems to have been a natural trait among youth of all ages. This is especially true of the pocket-knife. What normal boy does not love to whittle?” After opening presents we went and ate at Jack Stack Barbeque. When I got home, I finished my fish, talked to Tyler some more, wrote in my gratitude journal, and packed some more.

The next day I drove to work once more getting ten more minutes of driving, where I thanked Phil for all the hours he had given me, and he told me thanks for all the hard work and to call him to let him know when I’m coming home for breaks. After work was over, I changed into some clothes my mom had brought me and drove to Elsa’s Ethiopian Restaurant getting myself another twenty minutes of driving.  Erin and Tyler called to wish me a happy birthday and my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, and I enjoyed a bounty of doro watt, doro tibbs lentils, injera, and other foods of Ethiopian cuisine. Hillary texted me to wish me a happy birthday and I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving. Once at home we ate some birthday cake and I opened my presents: a CD called The Gyuto Monks Tantric Choir, two books-The Lego Idea Book: Unblocking Your Imagination and The Lego Book, two really neat shirts, a Buddha woodcarving, and a mug with the statue of the Thinker on it thinking a huge bubble of thoughts which disappeared when filled with hot water left saying only coffee. I’d say it was a pretty good haul this year. Then I packed up some more for the big day tomorrow and signed up for the access meal plan.