Spring Break 2014

I saw an e-mail about how condolences for the loss can be sent to the address of the ASA president Ellen Whit, whose name I recognized from the Friend of Autism Pledge, and I decided to send her an e-mail after break saying I recognized her name in the e-mail from the pledge and wanted to wish my condolences to her. I put up a Facebook post that said, “Three types of girls I will never date:/-Girls who don’t wear their seatbelts, or ride with people who do/-Girls who smoke/-Girls who support autism organizations that pay more to their executives than supporting individuals and families/All three of those thing could cut my time short with her.” I saw Dr. Downing, Jamie, Kurt, Britney, and one other person liked it. I also wrote “Three of the worst things you can do while driving:/-drink/-text/-support charities that don’t pay most of their money to the causes they claim to represent/When you do any of these things your car can kill.” Brittany liked that. I shared a link to Hook’s obituary on Ryan, Philip’s, Hillary’s, and Mardy’s page and saw that they liked it, and Hillary liked my comment on her page about how I reacted to these girls' deaths.  Brittany also liked several other things on my page. I shared a link about the vigil on THRIVE’s Facebook page, commenting on what the girls did for THRIVE and how I thought the link deserved to be on there, and Dr. Downing approved. I shared a Buddhist link with people at the Pathless Land, and several of them, including Steve, liked it, and Steve said, “Awesome Ben Edwards.” I realized I can reach out to and gain respect of people like that. I talked to Tyler who said he knew of the girl’s deaths and knew one of the girls. I realized there are times when college students lose their lies like this, like the fall semester before last, when a twenty-three-year-old UCM male student died in a car wreck not wearing his seatbelt, from seeing it in the Muleskinner while working there.

The next morning I felt pretty good though a little frustrated as I had a nosebleed while I had just undressed to take a shower and Dad texted me to call him and I wanted to call Elizabeth to make plans for tomorrow, but I called Dad, and I called Elizabeth and she offered to pick me up and take me to Panera tomorrow, which I accepted as I was feeling still quite overwhelmed by the loss of the girls. When Elizabeth pulled up in my driveway however, we ended up going to Minsky’s in downtown Prairie Village instead of Panera. Elizabeth and I started getting caught up on each other’s lives and she told me there was an Autistic Self-Advocacy Network chapter opening up in Kansas City. I started telling her about the group and she was excited to hear that it was getting ready and understood that it was taking a while to get off the ground.

“The thing about the autism community is that we’ve always sought friendship,” she also told me, “I’m your friend in the autism community.”

Finally, I also told her about the loss of Hook and Reeder.

“I’m sorry,” she said, very sincerely.

“It’s just, sometimes I still feel some pain, but then it just subsides.”

“That’s called grief and it’s perfectly natural. It means something was important to you.” 

I smiled. Elizabeth was being very empathetic just as I had expected she would.

“These kind of things just seem to happen, and I guess, ultimately, there’s really no point in trying to figure out why.”

Elizabeth looked at me with such kind eyes. Eventually we got off the subject of Hook and Reeder, which was really a relief to me. She asked me about my bottle cap necklace, and I told her about it and showed her my belt made from plastic bags. She looked amazed.

“It’s really strong,” I said.

“I believe you!"

I learned her brother had had cancer for the last year, although she did tell me not to make any negative assumption about it too quickly as she said he was getting better. She also gave me a business card for her work as a music therapist, which she had recently been licensed to do after finishing her practicum for it last year. As I got out of her car and said goodbye, I realized I truly did have one friend in the autism community.

Later that day I went with my dad to our family house at Lake Lotawana where I indeed also found twenty-three new pebbles near our garden. Then we went to have a beer at the Canoe Club while we waited for my grandparents to come and eat with us. In the meantime, he asked what I planned to do after college. I mentioned selling some environmental crafts on Etsy, being a drama teacher at Horizon, and maybe publishing a book on my experiences at UCM and other parts of my life, before, hopefully, getting a career in filmmaking. He thought those were all good ideas. Then he asked me, “Ben, have you ever thought of having a career as an autism specialist? It’s just that none of the autism specialists I’ve ever known of have had autism.”

“I don’t know," I said. "I mean I thought either way I would do some stuff involving autism.” 

Soon my grandparents arrived. My granddad started telling us about how Bob from the Pathless Land was told by his doctor that he absolutely needed to quit smoking. He had “had his last smoke” with my granddad, though there had been slips since then. I had hoped he would quit as he was a great man who I had known for the last two years at the Pathless Land. 

The next day I drove to my appointment with Dr. Mays, then to the post office, and then home getting twenty-five more minutes of driving. I made twelve more flowers, seven more heart-shaped pins, a rose, and then seventeen more heart-shaped pins from straws, and decided to use the heart-shaped pins in making prints. I went to Better Cheddar and got two new bottle caps for my collection and drank the drinks while I ate a Mars Bar and read Mckinsey’s blog post on world hunger statistics, which I commented on favorably. I went to the hardware store and got a saw to cut my board at school apart and some wood to cut into rectangles for wood burning. I then cut apart the board and turned that coaster project Mom started into two coasters, which she was pretty impressed by. I also got the idea for when I find “a one” to glue the letters of my old computers to two of those boards and give each of us one of them on our anniversary where we can write a word or phrase next to each other about how we feel about each other. I drove to Bella Napoli, getting ten more minutes of driving. There I also got a new bottle cap from my beer. I also realized how interesting it is that I drink two sodas and eat a Mars Bar while reading a post on world hunger statistics. 

The next day I called Jack and left a message to see if he could sleep over with Tyler and I this spring break. Afterwards I grinded up leaves and spread them in my mom’s garden for fifteen dollars an hour for three hours. I also felt comforted knowing Elizabeth could understand how I felt about those girls. I made one of my coasters for Aunt Laura from receipts. I went down to Better Cheddar and got two new bottle caps for my collection from my drinks. On my way back I picked up and sorted some recyclables. On my way back I found a good walking stick to carve. I also worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam.

I was able to slow down and take a breath while I enjoyed some Welsh rarebit for dinner tonight. I then talked to Jack who said he couldn’t sleep over this spring break because he has a lot going on, but he did say he could do it over the summer. I also told him about the girls, which he was shocked about, but glad I told him about, and about how Emily and I broke up. I talked to Dad and he and I agreed to eat dinner together tomorrow night and I sent him the links to my blogs. I wrote another post Autism and Olympics: Not So Special After All and posted it. I also saw another one of my Facebook friends accepted my invitations to like Tania Marshall and Little People of America. I remembered how great it feels to wake up and get a text asking saying, “I love you.”

The next day I realized more of how I would organize my stamp collection before I went to BRGR with Dad and he gave me dozens of bottle caps, which I found five new ones in, two Buddhist magazines, which I already had but could make some DIY colleges with, and a craft board. The next day I drove to get my blood tested and got ten minutes of driving on the way, then to a garden shop, then Dunkin Donuts, where I had a jelly donut, then Bruce Smith, and then the hardware store, getting another twenty minutes of driving. Afterwards I got two new bottle caps from my drinks at Better Cheddar. I also got some bread and turkey at Hen House along with the current issue of National Geographic. I arranged to get together with Erin tomorrow at eleven, and then I wrote in my dream journal. I also made another rose from straws. Tyler got here and I gave him those bottle caps I’d saved for him. We ate burgers and fries and then watched Epic. 

The next day Tyler met Erin before she and I went to the Cheesecake Factory, and I gave her presents and she gave me mine: a book called Empires of the Silk Road: A History of Central Eurasia from the Bronze Age to the Present. I got home and then went to my dentist appointment. I got back and rested from the cavity filling. I also agreed to go with Mom and her family to New Hampshire over the fourth of July, as I don’t see her family very often. I swung in our backyard while I read a lot of Erin’s book. Later I got Tyler to resend the link to the Down Syndrome Dance form when I couldn’t get to the page via the link I was sent. 

The next morning, I worked on my revised research paper for my Early American Literature class. I moved some soil, mulch, and compost into my mom’s new garden bed, during which time I realized that Beorn attacking the dwarves as a bear in the second Hobbit movie was a good idea as that way the audience gets the see Beorn as a bear before the third movie comes out, and Beorn being at Dol Guldur doesn’t seem like such a bad idea as Beorn was close to Radagast, who was a member of the White Council, and lived near there. Later I saw some good miksang photos and got inspired to take some more, which I did. I saw that the Autism Women’s Network liked my review of them before I took another photo. I also got together some bottle caps for my rainbow fish wall fish.

Lessons in Autism

 On Monday after I got back I worked on my drawing for my Drawing I class some more. During that class we sat and discussed each person’s drawing and when mine was discussed I got a lot of positive comments as well as some good suggestions. I also thought of my bird woodcarving and decided to make my bird the Eastern Bluebird, the state bird of Missouri, where I had all these adventures. Before class got out, I agreed to pay five dollars for gas to Emily in that class, who I was getting a ride with to or field trip to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. After class, I went down to the Union and took down the poster board for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.

        When I got back to Ellis, I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During that class I got a five out of five on the quiz. After class and sorting some recycling, I did my Algebra homework. Then I got some more board for my snack wrapper collages at the Union bookstore. When I got back to the dorm and worked on blocking out the colors for them.
        I later finished my abstract for my North American Indian class but I accidentally forgot to save it. However I knew everything I said on it so I could retype it. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class on the treadmill. Afterwards I got back and talked to Tyler. I also realized I had one more day than I thought I did to go get something from Those Were the Days to make something for the Print Club.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got one hundred percent on the quiz. After I got back to my dorm I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes and then I reorganized my recyclables. After that I finished the reading for my North American Indian class. After my North American Indian class I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.
        Only Tom and Matt showed up to the group. We didn’t really do introductions, go over our rules, or pair up two people and take four minutes to get to know three things about the other person as we already knew each other and I suggested two ideas for or next meeting: getting together at a coffee shop, or a music night where we each picked a song that we secretly wrote down on a piece of paper, played it, and everyone would then try to get who picked the song. No one really seemed to care to much either way so they just agreed to have a music night. Tom and Matt left early but I stayed behind until 4:30 to see if anyone showed up to ask about the meeting, which they didn’t. While I did I read on my phone an article talking about how many people with bipolar disorder withdraw from social relationships and I thought perhaps women with autism are often undiagnosed with the condition as autistic traits can overlap with traits of other conditions they may have, such as bipolar disorder or ADHD. I also thought that it may have taken the Buddhist saint Padmasambhava years to subdue the wrathful demons of Tibet to help bring Buddhism to the country.
        I got back to my dorm later and made twenty more flowers from straws. Later I talked to my Granddad and he told me to have some patience with starting the group. Later on I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal some more and I thought it was becoming very satisfying. I also talked to my Granddad some more later on and told him about how I thought my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal was coming along great and how I thought all my collages would look very realistic and he said if anyone could make it look like a professional, I could and said that looking at my scrapbooks he couldn’t tell the covers were made from Cheetos wrappers. I talked to Tyler some more after that telling him I would talk to him for twenty minutes then had to go because there was other things I had to do but when he started getting upset over his breakup I agreed to talk to him for five more minutes.
        The next day in my Drawing I class we learned about how to shade a drawing and also how to make lines better. I thought while learning this that I might really enjoy woodburning with all I learned in the class. After my Drawing I class I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Then I went to that class and found out I got 81% on the exam. On my way to Those Were the Days I found three new bottle caps for my collection and I went to the store and got a jar full of Bubble Up bottle caps with bent edges and insides lined with cork thinking I could make something from them for the Print Club and I remembered how I once read that collections can often stem from memories of or past. I also got a postcard of Craters of the Moon National Park, which I would try and frame and hang on a wall as rock formations kind of have a spiritual feeling for me. After I got back to UCM I took a walk around campus and found another bottle cap for my collection. I also realized just how big this campus really was.
        When I got back I read about how girls with Asperger syndrome will often try to blend in with others and get very exhausted from doing it, and also causing them to go undiagnosed and their apparently unknown fits of exhaustion cold cause them to be misdiagnose as bipolar. During dinner I realized I could make a necklace from one of the bottle caps I got at Those Were the Days, using the knife my dad got me. I also figured out how to shorten my North American Indian abstract to make it two hundred fifty words or less and learned on-line how to put a word count on my paper. While I ran on the treadmill I found the perfect image for my bottle cap necklace: calligraphy done by the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “Peace within oneself, peace within the world,” inside a Zen brush painted circle. I got back and I took strips of board leftover from the sheets I cut out for my collages to make a yarn painting. I talked to my dad, a professional PhD psychologist, who agreed that coexisting conditions may make it harder for girls with autism to get the diagnosis. I also talked to Tyler, who didn’t talk so much about his break up this time. However that night I did not get any sleep at all.

        The next morning I found I couldn’t find the sheet I had for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group with the list of times and places for or meetings so I e-mailed Presley Wehrle from the Office of Student Activities asking for her to resend it. I later went to my Algebra class and got back a four out of five on my study guide though partly because of a grading error and I showed it to the instructor and got back a five out of five. I also got one hundred percent on the quiz. I also read an article on Wrong Planet about how many people told their friends they had Asperger syndrome and it caused those friends to stop being friends with them.
        Later on I finished my abstract. During my North American Indian class, when I was ready to take a nap afterwards from exhaustion, the instructor told us about Saudi Arabia Day in that library at 3:30Shortly after my North American Indian class I went to Saudi Arabia Day where there was an exhibition in the museum of traditional Saudi arts and handicrafts and I stepped out of my finicky eating habits and tried some delicious Saudi food. Saudi Arabia I knew was a country somewhat involved in a conflict between Buddhists and Muslims in Bangladesh where Bengali settlers were evicting the predominantly Buddhist hill tribes of eastern Bangladesh off their lands while the Bengali army and the Saudi-funded Islamist missionary group al-Rabat joined in trying “civilize the heathens.” Eastern Bangladesh and Northeastern India were as far east as the ancient Arab-Islamic empire spread as the jungles of that area prevented Arab-Islamic conquerors from moving into there and cut them off from peninsular Southeast Asia. Yet here at Saudi Arabia Day these things hardly seemed to have any importance to myself or others.
        I got back to my dorm and talked to Tyler whose older brother he told me was having another baby and I told Tyler I was happy for him. I also made two of those necklaces from the bottle caps in the jar I got, including one for myself. Then I took a nap to make up for my loss of sleep. After I got back from the Rec Center I took out my recycling, and then made five more roses from straws. I also talked to Tyler some more.
        The next day I rode with Emily and Kiera from my Drawing I class to the Nelson and paid Emily the $5. When we got there, we went on a scavenger hunt to find certain kinds of paintings listed on a sheet of paper. After we were done I heard Kiera telling our instructor that she was thinking of doing art therapy for children with Down syndrome and told her and Emily as we were leaving the museum about Tyler and some unforgettable experiences I had with him. I told them about some environmental crafts I did and they thought that sounded great. We went to Spin Pizza afterwards where I also got a new non-crown bottle cap from my drink.
       Later I started thinking some people with autism may go misdiagnosed with AD/HD as they are particularly sensitive and thus prone to distraction by certain sensory experiences. Later I sent out an e-mail to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group about the next meeting. I got back and I made a flower from receipts to decorate a hairpin. I also went to the Print Club where our faculty advisor told us to bring any sort of artistic creation we felt like bringing to sell at our booth at Those Were the Days that we were going to set up. After the meeting I made another coaster from receipts and I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning I refilled one of my medication prescriptions and did some laundry. I also called my mom asking her to send fifty dollars from my account at home to my account at school which she said she would do. Then I read some reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I called my mom again and I told her about my medication and she said she would try and have her friend Mrs. Wendland sent it up as she and Dave were in our vacation house in Colorado for about a week longer. She also suggested trying to get people to come to the autism group by sending out personal invitations to those who had already come.
        Later I made one hundred sixty dreidels from plastic bottle caps and toothpicks and after dinner I made twenty-seven beads from cigarette boxes. I used some gum boxes to store those beads, hair bands, paper clips, and teabag strings so I wouldn’t need to store them in cigarette boxes and could make more beads from them. Then I worked on some trellises made from bottle rings and twist-ties. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on an outline for my yarn painting, depicting Mahatma Gandhi. Then I talked to Tyler for a few minutes.
        After talking to Tyler, I started cutting apart a leather belt I had that was too small for me to make bracelets using the knife my dad got me but as I was cutting apart strips to make strings, I got an awful cut on my thumb and quickly wrapped it in paper towels to stop the blood from flowing out. Then I took a little nap before writing in my meditation journal and while I did, I read on a website about Shambhala arts (contemplative arts in the Shambhala Buddhist community) I learned about the Heaven principle, the principle of the unknown. Then I read about the Earth principle, the principle of one’s inspiration. Then I read about the Human principle, the principle of bringing one’s heart and awareness into the process. I also watched a video of a Shambhala arts class where they were making collages and were supposed to learn about their subjects in the process. Then I watched another Shambhala arts video of a man making music and thought maybe I could inspire myself to play my flute some more if I found some new music to play and get out of my routine. I also sent a picture of my collage to my mom who said she liked it and couldn’t wait to see the final product.

        The next morning, I found three new bottle caps for my collection while sorting some recycling in Ellis after I saw a guy throw away a cardboard pack of beers loaded with cans, found some new pebbles outside when I recycled the cardboard, cleaned my bathroom, and swept my floors. Then I worked on some earrings made from bread tops and my bags woven from bags. Then I read some most of the reading for the past few days and that day for my World Masterpieces class, taking ten minute breaks after each hour where I sorted some recycling and took some photos. After I got back to Ellis I sorted some more recycling on my floor. Later I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi, made some dreidels from bottle caps, and a little after running on the treadmill for an hour I talked to Tyler.

        On Monday in my Drawing I class I continued to improve my drawing ability. After class I read the rest of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I realized I could stop the inside of my bottle cap necklaces from smearing or smudging by putting some tape over them and I did that after I finished my Algebra homework. I ate dinner with Mary and I worked on my yarn painting some more after that as well as my bag woven from bags. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on the design for a mandala made from plastic bags while I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I tried to pass the practice test a few times but couldn’t do it though I still had until 12 the next night. Later I read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After my North American Indian class I went to Music Night where Tom and Dr. Mayfield showed up to and I had them both write down a song on a piece of receipt paper. Then first we played Radioactive, then Amazing, Just the Way You Are, then Here Comes the Sun. We guessed soon that Brian picked the first, I played the second, and Dr. Mayfield picked the third.
        After the meeting I saw Monica about to sign up to volunteer with the Special Olympics, and she seemed fairly happy to see me and said she mixed up the time of the meeting. I worked on that bag woven from bags when I got to dinner and Mary passed by my table admiring the project. I realized after I got back from the Rec Center that I could make my mandala smoother if I covered it with packing tape and I made a necklace from a plastic bottle cap and straws. I sent a picture of my plastic bag mandala, my Gandhi yarn painting, and my straw necklace to my dad and he loved them. I also talked to Tyler and thought, while you could say looking after someone with a disability like him can be an emotional burden, other things in my life become less so from learning to deal with him and the same could be so with educators and health care professionals and even if it costs more to provide autistic and others support, in doing so it would cost less to make our educators and medical professionals more productive.
        The next morning during my Drawing I class I continued improving my drawing skills. Afterwards I read most of the reading for Friday in my World Masterpieces class. During that class we talked about how societies coddle girls and ask boys not to show any emotion and wondered if that could have any effect on how girls on the spectrum show their emotions more than boys and be mis/diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After class I passed the practice test. Then I e-mailed Dr. Mayfield asking her if I should start looking to enroll in classes for next semester and she e-mailed me back saying yes. I also sent out a group e-mail and individual e-mails to all the students in the group.
        Afterwards I got some packing tape, magnetic tape, board, and super glue at the Union bookstore. On my way back I thought of how people in inclusive classroom settings have been demonstrated in studies to have more sensitivity, problem-solving skills, and leadership skills and that if future politicians were more like that our government would do things that were more beneficial to people and “paying it forward,” like providing Head Start programs. When I got back I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and decided to put the Indian flag in the background with the wheel Gandhi and his people used to help themselves achieve their independence. While I ran on the treadmill I did a planning drawing for a snack wrapper collage of Pablo Picasso, also on the autism spectrum. When I got back to my dorm, I worked on that bag woven from bags while I talked to Tyler. I also got a new quarter for my collection when I went down to get a snack from the vending machine.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got a 94.12% on my test and then I finished the study guide and started on the next homework assignment. When I got back to Ellis, I read the reading for my North American Indian class and started on the role-playing assignment. During that class I got a call on my cellphone, and I later found out it was from the Office of Academic Advising, and I called them back and scheduled a meeting for next Thursday at 10:30. Then I bought some more super glue at the Union bookstore. When I got back, I took the box my mom sent my coat in into the recycling bin outside. Then I went to Walgreen’s and got some Altoids to make dioramas, floss, some packing tape, and a new quarter from my change, then I went to Hasting’s and got the November/December 2013 issue of Poets and Writers, the November 2013 issue of Shambhala Sun, Volume 17, Issue 100 of Ancient American, the November/December 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and National Geographic’s The World’s Greatest Empires: A History of Power. When I got back, I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi some more. Then I talked to Tyler while I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes. I also sorted some more recycling in Ellis.
        On Friday I didn’t have my Drawing I class so I used a lot of that time to read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During the class I got four out of five on the quiz. After class I got a new flash drive as I lost my old one, again. I got back and reorganized my recyclables. Then I went down to Hasting’s and got a November 2013 issue of Total Film magazine with an article on the next two Hobbit movies, and Issue 105, Volume 20 of MovieMaking magazine, with screenwriting exercises and I realized now that I have plenty of screenplay ideas, I might try using some of the exercises in one of my books that I could use before because I didn’t have them. I got back and watched Spongebob during dinner, remembering how Monica watches the show. Then I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and some Oriental stress balls made from straw wrappers. I also decided that in order to not procrastinate on the book report on the book for my North American Indian class Cahokia to try and read ten pages every night. I read eighteen while I was on the treadmill and loved it. I got back and worked on a scrapbook with a snack wrapper for a cover and made a dream catcher from a glow necklace.

        The next morning before I went to bed I made some more beads from cigarette boxes. Then I read an article on girls with Asperger syndrome, about how Asperger syndrome can culminate in depression, how Marilyn Monroe is suspected to have had Asperger syndrome, greatly contributing to her depression, how Lisa Simpson is thought of as a girl with Asperger syndrome, and how many girls with Asperger syndrome become obsessed with looks, dress, and dieting. After breakfast I went down to Hasting’s and got the Historical Collector’s Edition JKF Assassination: the 50th Anniversary Edition as well as an illustrated children’s version of a great classic The Epic of Sundiata, a West African epic called Sundiata: The Lion-King of Mali. Then I went to Bi-Lo Mart and got the current issue of National Geographic Traveler. I picked up and recycled several bottles and cans on my way back.
        Shortly after I got back, I got back I did some laundry. Then I sorted some recycling and found another non-crown bottle cap for my collection. Then I worked on that bag woven from bags and the role-playing assignment for my North American Indian class. I sorted some more recycling and made a stamp from a plastic bottle cap and some Styrofoam. I also read Sundiata at dinner during which I read that the warrior-king of Mali who freed his country from enemy invasion, was, in addition to being born unable to walk, also unable to speak. He was also driven into exile by rivals in the court of Mali shortly before Mali was invaded. Later while I ran on the treadmill, I read fifteen more pages of Cahokia. After I finished running, I saw an ad for an event on campus the next Friday at 7 called Experience Africa hosted by the UCM African Student Organization which would feature music, dancing, poetry, and fashion shows. I got back and read about half of the next day’s reading for my World Masterpieces class. I also realized that maybe, since so many girls with autism find a way to “blend in,” those who would have trouble with speech mimic speaking the way parrots, who don’t actually speak, but manipulate the muscles in their body to stimulate sound, say things.

        The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual to try and get ahead of my workload, thinking my World Masterpieces take-home exam was due on Friday when it was actually due next Monday. I used that time to work on some bike streamers made from snack wrappers. On my way back to the dorm from my Drawing I class I found another pebble for my collection. I finished reading all the reading for my World Masterpieces class and I got a four out of five on the day’s quiz. Afterwards I tried to finish all of the assignment for the next day for my College Algebra class but there were some problems I had a lot of trouble with and couldn’t focus so well on all of the sudden. I got some help in the Student Success Center though some of the tutors took a while to get to me and figure out what to do. I got done all I could before taking a break to eat dinner, which I did with Autrey and Amanda while I worked on that bag, then worked until the Union computer lab closed at eight, realizing that I was really exhausted from hearing Tyler with his problems with Mary. I started understanding how many girls on the spectrum can get tired from trying to blend in with others and wondered if all the work they put into physical appearance was to help them feel respected by their peers and thought I needed one of my medications to do this in the future. I didn’t go to the Rec Center that night but read twelve more pages of Cahokia. I later called my mom and reminded her to wire one hundred fifty dollars from home to my account at school. I also talked to Tyler a little bit. I also wondered if Marilyn Monroe never put so much work into her looks to get respect.
        The next morning, I finished my Algebra homework and only got less than half a percent off for lateness. After class I worked on my North American Indian role-playing paper. Despite feeling limited energy, I managed to go to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group meeting and Tom and Dr. Mayfield were still the only ones who showed up. However, when I suggested several activities for next week, such as bingo, trivia, or ice breakers, Tom said, “Bingo,” this time with a lot more enthusiasm and Dr. Mayfield said she thought that would be great and said she would bring prizes to. When I got back to my dorm, I read some more of the blog post on women with Asperger syndrome by Tania Marshall and saw it also included a great sense of humor. After that I made another stamp from a plastic bottle cap and Styrofoam and I ate dinner with Connor, John, and a few other people from my hall. I worked on some Oriental stress balls afterwards and some earrings made from bread tops. I read twelve more pages of Cahokia on the treadmill and shortly after I got back, I talked to Tyler some more explaining how I felt about always listening to his problems about Mary and he agreed to talk about them less.
        The next day during my Drawing I class I learned how to do better wrist movement by balancing my hand on the paper. Later I got an idea to make a Green Man face from plastic bottle caps and wire. I finished my Algebra practice quiz after my World Masterpieces class got out, and then I worked on and edited the role-playing paper for my North American Indian class. I got back to my dorm and worked on my mandala made from plastic bags and started on my Green Man made from bottle caps. I covered my giraffe sculpture made from snack wrappers with packing tape to make it sturdier and have a nicer texture and realized that like a giraffe, I have my head high even when there’s trouble. Later on, I went to a SexEd trivia on my floor and then I read another twelve pages of Cahokia. I also talked to Tyler some more while I made five more stamps made from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. I also realized how I’m sort of like a giraffe in that I’m very independent.

 

        The next morning, I went to my academic advising meeting with Krisana and enrolled for Modern Sub-Saharan Africa on-line, Early American Literature, World Archaeology, and Film Appreciation, also on-line. Then I went to my Algebra class where I got one hundred percent on the quiz and got more than halfway through the study guide. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class afterwards while I sat with Alex at lunch. After class I finished that paper and e-mailed to my instructor before the deadline at 12. I also got a call from the Office of Student Financial Services and found out I needed to fill out a tax registration form and went over to their office and got one. After fixing some of my flowers made from straws and my giraffe sculpture, I ate dinner with Oscar, Logan, and a first-year THRIVE student whose name I forgot and found out from Logan that Ryan collects bottle caps like I do by going onto Coca-Cola’s website and winning bottle caps as prizes. I later saw Ryan at the THRIVE Halloween party and he said he’d sometime show me how to do that. Later I ran on the treadmill while I read ten more pages of Cahokia. I got back and talked to Tyler some more. I also talked to my mom who I found out had sent the money she said she would.

Last Few Days to Finish My Summer Plans

        On the first day of August, I went to work, and my mom returned my Lonely Planet Mongolia book to the library. After work I got a copy of the new National Geographic issue, and I filled out a request form for Thursday and Sunday. I got home and I called Erin in response to her calling me yesterday while I was at work, and she asked if I could get together the next day. I told her how I wouldn’t be available then and we decided to get together another time. I called my granddad and told him about how Emily hadn’t responded to any of my calls or texts recently. He thought it could be due to her ADHD or that she could be on vacation. My mom and I also talked about The United States of Autism and I told her how maddening it is that people buy into “autism charities” that do things like pay more to their executives then they do for autism services, and she said I could definitely help counterbalance that.

                The next day I practiced my flute for half an hour. I also talked to Tyler, and he said Mary said the breakup was about the fact that she was stressed and wasn’t herself and she didn’t want a long-distance relationship. Later I made a few roses out of straws and gave one to Kyley and one to Hunter.  I also talked to my granddad some more and he thought Emily could need some space. I talked to my dad, and he thought her not responding to my texts or calls could be due to her ADHD or her being on vacation. I also called work and found out I work on Monday from 3-10 the next week. 

                The next day while I was at work I decided to slow down in my life and enjoy my relatives being here. After work I talked to Tyler and comforted him after his attempt to get Mary back didn’t go so well. I realized Emily could not be responding to my calls or texts because she was depressed from missing me so much. The next day I worked on my travel plans to Tanzania and Madagascar and a bag woven from bags that morning and had dinner with my relatives and I realized that Emily could have possibly gotten a job taking care of children, as was her passion, and could come home too tired to talk. I also practiced my flute for another half an hour. Hunter came into the sunroom where I was and began asking a lot of questions which made me see how Emily could get tired from working with kids for so long. I later talked to Tyler on the phone for so long that I didn’t get around to telling my dad or granddad what I figured out about Emily, but I figured that was ok as his problems were worse than mine. 

On Monday I realized the next morning that providing services for autism is really a lot better for everyone because it would cut so many costs associated with not doing it. Before I went to bed, I read a lot of a novel called Water Touching Stone. Then after I woke up, my mom, Dave, aunt, uncle, and cousins all went to Powell Garden’s the next day and I found out I had been enrolled in my classes. I also thought it is one thing to make budget cuts, but to not include people with disabilities in them is another. When I got home, I deposited my paycheck and got a new bottle cap from a drink I got at Better Cheddar and later I talked to Tyler. 

As I was deleting several old e-mails, I saw a quote in one of them that said, “What lies before you and what lies behind you is nothing compared to what lies within you.” I also signed a petition to end tax-subsidized CEO bonuses saying I was an autistic person, and I find it unbelievable that the government can afford that but not to provide for us. I added myself as anonymous, but I figured that would make a more powerful statement about society’s treatment of autistics seeing how I chose not to share my name. I later had dinner with my mom, Dave, brothers, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That night I called Erin and found out she couldn’t get together on Thursday and I decided I would try next Monday and then I texted Oscar to see if he wanted to get together on Thursday with Jack and Tyler.  He said that would be great and we agreed to pick him up after my art class. I also found out Emily is on Facebook and changed my status to “in a relationship with Emily Webb.” I thought with us both on Facebook, I could show her I was able to give her some space.

                The next day I got my haircut before I went to work. Then I got home and talked to Tyler who said Mary said she wanted to date him but couldn’t find the time. The next morning, I started to see that autistic people may be driven to commit crime, so they don’t have to feel so invisible.  I also rode my bike for about an hour and I left Mary a message telling her the things Tyler said about how he feels about her.  Later I fixed some of my flowers made from straws and I deleted several e-mails.  While I did, I saw Autrey said, “Great,” in response to my new relationship status. 

                I talked to Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday at the Cheesecake Factory then go to the Frida Kalho Diego Rivera exhibit at the Nelson. Afterwards on my way to Winstead’s with my Granddad, we agreed that while it may cost health insurance companies money to provide for autistic people, it would save them money on providing for health crises otherwise connected to autism, such as bladder problems, diabetes, and obesity. We ate at Winstead’s again where I got a picture of a moth on the glass window. After we left, I realized people with Down syndrome once had to fight hard to get things like group homes and other services. 

My granddad and I went to Barnes and Noble where I got the October 2013 issue of Mindful magazine, a September/October 2013 issue of Buddhadharma, National Geographic’s 100 Secret Journeys: The World’s Best Hidden Adventures, a September /October 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and an August 2013 issue of Empire magazine with an article on the upcoming Hobbit movie The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Then we went to the Pathless Land where we did the Chakra meditation again. After the class was over, my granddad said while we were in the car that Tyler probably finds it very liberating that I listen to him, which probably no one else has ever done. At Roasterie Coffee, I got a good picture of my muffin before my granddad took me home.

I got home and saw on the cover of the latest issue of Mindful, it said 3 Ways to Take Better Pictures. I got a text from Emily, and we texted back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” Then I said, “I can’t wait to see you again,” and she said, “Yeah,” and “I have miss talking to you.” I also talked to Tyler and listened to him about Mary. Then I realized I could make windmills from my super glue bottles, one of which I would give to Erin, who’s always dreamed of traveling to Europe, when I saw her next. That night I dreamt that I got a job offer in Taiwan so I could be there to help its people with their skewed relationship with China and Emily asked if I wanted to get married there.

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class again, getting twenty more minutes of driving. I almost finished another painting, and I learned block in shapes using different shades. Then I drove to Oscar’s house and took him, Jack, and I to my house getting another twenty minutes of driving. We had lunch then swam and tossed a Nerf football and played Marco Polo then my brother’s old version Merde Schiza. I drove Jack and Oscar home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving.

When I got back home, I read Mindful’s article on photography where I learned that three different aspects of it are color, texture, and people. Then I went down to Starbucks and wrote some poetry. Later I took several pictures like they suggested in Mindful and I talked to my dad who asked me what I would like for my birthday. I said something like The Little Book of Contemplative Photography or a book on whittling. He told me had gotten me a great pocketknife and a great piece of wood to carve a ball-in-a-cage. After I was done talking to him, I made two windmills, one of which I would give to Erin the next day.

On Friday afternoon I took several more pictures using the advice they wrote in Mindful then I was picked up by Erin and her mom. I gave her the windmill I made her which she thought was very clever and then we went to the Cheesecake Factory. After our main meal we enjoy some of their cheesecake which filled me up so much I could not finish the whole thing and had to get a to-go box. We went to the Nelson where I gave a dollar to help support their work and saw the Frida Kahlo Diego Rivera exhibit. While I was there, I saw several great photographs which demonstrated that, like the philosophy of contemplative photography, we don’t need great scenery to make great photographs. I also saw how Frida Kahlo’s work had a lot of color to it just like contemplative photos.

When I got home, I realized that substance abuse can really arise from low self-esteem among autistics. I also saw a girl from Tennessee in Good Luck, Charlie, who really reminded me of Emily, while I worked on my bag woven from bags. Then I called work and found out I work Monday from 3-7 Tuesday from 4-8, and Saturday from 11-7:30. The next morning, I cuddled an old teddy bear of mine pretending it was Emily getting a taste of what it would be like if it really was. After I got up and did my meditation, I refilled my prescription and then went to work.

While at work I got my employee birthday slip for a free pie and took some pictures of my M&Ms on my break. I realized that miksang photography is really just a philosophy of how great photography arises. I also realized that even if autism services cost us money, we would reimburse as they create jobs. After I got home, I realized that dream I had about Emily asking if I wanted to get married in Taiwan meant she always values my opinion about matters concerning our relationship. As I watched a Family Guy cut-away with Scarlett Johansson, her resemblance to Emily was just striking.

The next day I went to La Peep with my brothers, dad, and grandparents where my granddad gave me the latest issue of Smithsonian magazine and I took several pictures. I also realized that if parents of autistic children didn’t have to struggle to pay for their children’s services, they could buy more things that would really stimulate our economy. When I got home, I took several more photos and realized the elements of color and texture are in the environmental crafts I make like toilet paper roll dioramas and snack wrapper handbags. I also started to appreciate painting more. Later I helped Dave and Graham set up a studio downstairs in our old basement storage room.

After helping Dave I made another one of my bracelets from Hershey’s nugget wrapper. Then I saved more of Emily’s and my texts, and we texted back and forth.  I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.” Then I told her she was really beautiful, and I cuddled with a teddy bear pretending it was her. She said, “Aww,” and I could hear her voice in the texts like she was right next to me.  Emily then said, “I miss you.” 

The next morning, I realized Emily, Jack, and Tyler were all capable of leading normal lives, especially with new college programs available for them. Then I drove to my art class with Jack getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I painted, I saw more of what Donna meant when she said to block in your big shapes and mix the colors on your pallet. I took several pictures of things around the studio and realized contemplative photography helps you to slow down and notice colors like you would when doing a painting. I also drove Jack home and my mom and I to Bruce Smith, then home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving. 

Emily and I texted each other back and forth some more before I went to work. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I went to work and told Phil I would call him before the breaks started to tell him I would be available to work then, and he said that would be great. After work, my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, Graham, and I ate at a restaurant/movie theater called Standees in the Prairie Village shopping center. While we waited for our food, I talked to Tyler outside, who had called me while I was at work, and he said he got me several birthday presents.  I told him that was really thoughtful. Then we talked about Mary, and I told him I knew exactly how he felt from all my past break-ups.

After dinner, my mom, Dave, and I watched the movie Way, Way Back. When I got home, I found a bag inside my home with gummy worms, beef jerky, several chocolates, three ten-dollar Barnes and Noble gift cards, all with a card from Tyler. I talked to him some more on the phone and heard him talk about his break-up. The next day I took several pictures before I went to work. After work, I got Life magazine’s Remembering John Lennon, who was believed to be autistic. I realized how many autistic people can be afraid to speak out against discrimination for fear of the government based on abuse they’ve suffered in schools and health care institutions like I had in my life. I worked on my handbag for Emily a little more then I e-mailed my new roommate Connor, telling him about myself and asking him if he was bringing either a refrigerator or a microwave. I also realized that if I talked about some of my passions to Emily, she might not know how to say what she thinks, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in what I’m saying.

The next day I found out Connor had e-mailed me back and I learned he was from Jacksonville, North Carolina, is a sophomore, and that his interests are church, military, firearms, history, and travel. He told me he would probably be moving into a fraternity house sometime this year and didn’t know how long we’d be rooming together. He also said he was not bringing a fridge or a microwave. Later I went down to the bank and deposited my last paycheck and got a new bottle cap from my drink I got at Better Cheddar. I got home and worked on my handbag for Emily and a lampshade made from straws.

Emily and I texted each other back and forth. She said, “I miss you so bad,” and I said, “I know.  I feel the same way about you.” She said, “Aww youre so sweet Ben.” I said, “Well I love you,” and she said, “I want to cuddle you.” I said, “Me too.” I also realized that contemplative photography is also about being aware of things while you photograph them, and I worked more on my bags woven from bags.

My granddad took me to Winstead’s and when I got in, I saw, sitting at a far table, my grandmom, there to see me for my birthday before I went off to school. I opened my card from them and opened my present from them: a fifty-dollar debit card. I also went to Barnes and Noble where I got the new issue of Tricycle magazine. I went to the Pathless Land for the last time for a while meditating with the others sitting, breathing, and being. After the Pathless Land, my granddad and I skipped going to Roasterie Coffee since Emily had just texted me.

We texted back and forth when I got home, and she asked me what I missed about her. I said I missed practically everything about her, and she said, “Aww that’s so sweet Ben.” It felt good to see that Emily didn’t think of me as someone with something wrong with them because I had autism. She texted me goodnight and I texted her goodnight back. I also realized how politicians just don’t seem to want to help us because they have this notion of “picking yourself up by your bootstraps.”

I drove Jack and I to art class the next day, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I was there, I got several more pictures, including one of Jack break dancing. I drove Jack home and then to an estate sale, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While at the sale, I found a beautiful pink scarf which I bought for Emily. When she texted me, I told her I got her something at an estate sale.” She said, “Thanks babe that’s so sweet.” 

I drove to another estate sale, getting another ten minutes of driving. I bought Life Pictorial Atlas of the World, and Time-Life’s Ancient America, Barbarian Europe, Early Japan, Classical Greece, Early Islam, Imperial Rome, Age of Exploration, Ancient China, Historic India, Cradle of Civilization, Byzantium, and Renaissance for only thirty dollars. Then I drove to Target, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving. I got hygiene supplies, snack food, tea, and a mini-fridge. Then I drove back home, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving.

Back at home Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I asked her how work went, and she said she didn’t go because she had pink-eye. I said, “I’m sorry about that,” and that I hope she feels better soon. She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Sure.  I love you.” She said, “You too.”

I whittled a sword and a knife and worked on whittling a fish and made a bird beak to replace one that broke off my mom’s bird statue. She was pretty happy with it. Then I texted Emily back and forth some more. She asked if she was able to be there for my birthday would I want her there and I said, “Of course I would.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Of course. I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.”

She asked me why I got her something at an estate sale and I said it was because I thought it would be romantic and look good on her. She said, “Aww Ben,” and, “I miss you,” and I said, “I miss you too.”  We texted later and she said, “Cuddle.” I said, “I’d love to.” She said, “Really,” and I said, “Cuddle you?  Of course.” She said, “Aww.” Then I said, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” She said, “I love you too.” I also talked to Tyler and told him to resist the temptation to e-mail Mary.

The next morning Emily and I texted each other some more. I told her, “I love you.” She said, I want to cuddle you,” and I said, “I know.  Me to.” She asked me, “And will you hold my hand wherever we go?” And I said, “Definitely.” She asked if I could call her and I said certainly. She said, “Thanks babe love you.”

I called her and we talked on the phone. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said she didn’t have to get me anything. She insisted though and I told her she could just give me a Barnes and Noble gift card. She also said she wanted to cuddle me, that there was a special app called Tango I could download for free and we could video chat, that she wished she could come back to UCM and see me every day, and that she missed me. I told her I was cuddling a bear pretending it was her and “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” 

I called her back after my meditation, and she asked me if I would give her a hug and kiss when she got to school and when she left. I said I would and then I found out for her and told her that Homecoming Week was from October 25^th-27^th. She said she would miss me even more after that. Later she told me she missed me again and I told her I would love to cuddle her. I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

After we hung up, I got Tango. Once we figured out how it worked, we talked to each other on it and I saw her house and her cat Fuzzy. I showed her my mom, Jamie, the dogs, Peter, the rose I made her, and the scarf I got her and she liked them both. I told her, face-to-face, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” I started packing up and we texted while I did. She said the rose and the scarf were really beautiful and I said I thought of her when I got the scarf. She said, “Aww.” I said I to my mom from her and said hi to Emily back. Later I glued some more origami hearts together and worked on a bag woven from bags and whittling a fish.

I went over to my dad’s later that night and I opened my birthday presents. I got a Swedish-made knife, very sharp and great for whittling, two books on whittling-Old-Time Whittling: Easy Techniques for Classic Projects and The Art of Whittling, a block of wood from which to carve a ball-in-a-cage, and some finger guards. My dad read an excerpt from The Art of Whittling, a historical reprint, in a Hank Hillish voice, “The love of tools seems to have been a natural trait among youth of all ages. This is especially true of the pocket-knife. What normal boy does not love to whittle?” After opening presents we went and ate at Jack Stack Barbeque. When I got home, I finished my fish, talked to Tyler some more, wrote in my gratitude journal, and packed some more.

The next day I drove to work once more getting ten more minutes of driving, where I thanked Phil for all the hours he had given me, and he told me thanks for all the hard work and to call him to let him know when I’m coming home for breaks. After work was over, I changed into some clothes my mom had brought me and drove to Elsa’s Ethiopian Restaurant getting myself another twenty minutes of driving.  Erin and Tyler called to wish me a happy birthday and my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, and I enjoyed a bounty of doro watt, doro tibbs lentils, injera, and other foods of Ethiopian cuisine. Hillary texted me to wish me a happy birthday and I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving. Once at home we ate some birthday cake and I opened my presents: a CD called The Gyuto Monks Tantric Choir, two books-The Lego Idea Book: Unblocking Your Imagination and The Lego Book, two really neat shirts, a Buddha woodcarving, and a mug with the statue of the Thinker on it thinking a huge bubble of thoughts which disappeared when filled with hot water left saying only coffee. I’d say it was a pretty good haul this year. Then I packed up some more for the big day tomorrow and signed up for the access meal plan.

 

Some Pesky Room Remodeling

I went to work the next day and got a new Sweet Leaf Tea bottle cap on my two breaks and my lunch break.  After work I got a Vikings: Their Myths and Legends Events bookazine. The next day I went to work and learned a little more about doing ikebana on-line. Apparently, there are three primary vertical lines I guess each representing the hierarchies of the ancient cosmos: heaven, earth, and man. I also realized that the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group could be a great place for autistic students to tell people about projects and goals of theirs remembering one time in high school when a student told the school at an assembly about his tsunami relief project. I also got a June/July 2013 issue of Saveur magazine after work. The next day while at work I came up with an idea for giving out certain prizes for getting people to sign the Friend of Autism Pledge, one for one person, another for five people, and another for ten people. 

              After work I went to the Pathless Land with my granddad and after I got home, I moved my books from Jamie’s bed into the bedroom in Kate’s old room. The next day I went to art class with Jack and drove back from his house afterwards, realizing I might get use to driving by doing it even when I don’t feel comfortable doing it. After I got home, I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck, and then I went to Bruce Smith and bought a June/July 2013 issue of Afar magazine, a June/July 2013 issue of National Geographic Traveler, and a July/August 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine. I got home and I emptied my laundry basket and my duffle bag, and I took my pallet paper out of my mom’s car. Then my mom and I went to the airport and picked up Jamie.

              The next day I went to work and on Saturday I was able to see how an episode of Austin and Ally where Austin’s attempt to gain his shy friend Ally recognition by putting her song on the radio backfired and I took it to mean I’m becoming more of a screenwriter. Later I pulled the weeds for my mom for half an hour, and she agreed to pay me $7.50, half an hourly pay for weed-pulling and I worked on my flowers made from straws. I went to work the next day and afterwards I met up with Jamie, Cam, my dad, grandmom, and granddad at BRGR. 

The next Tuesday I got my new THRIVE certificate in the mail and I went to work. During my breaks I took my receipts and turned them into origami hearts in order to recycle them. Afterwards I got Time magazine’s Gettysburg: A Day-to-Day Account of the Greatest Battle of the Civil War. When I got home, I saw some bunnies in our back yard, and I got some pictures of them.  The next day I went to work and made some more origami receipts during my breaks. On my way back I stopped by the library, and I looked at a book on Cape Town and the Garden Route in South Africa where I learned about a museum of South African Jewish history with a section on the Holocaust and several sites associated with slavery. I also checked out the book on Mongolia. When I got home, I read in the book we were reading at the Pathless Land After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Buddhist author Jack Kornfield about how Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chan said if he acted perfect people would make the mistake of looking for enlightenment outside of themselves and it reminded me of Chogyam Trungpa’s drinking and sexual affairs. I also read a quote by Zen Buddhist teacher Shunryu Suzuki about how there are no enlightened people, just enlightened activity.

I went to Barnes and Noble with my granddad and got a June 2013 issue of The New African, a July 2013 issue of Shambhala Sun, and a Summer 2013 issue of Buddhadharma. I realized that my collection of Buddhadharma and Shambhala Sun magazines could help me feel close to the teachings of Shambhala Buddhism and I went to the Pathless Land with my granddad. I did the dedication of merit for them at the end and on the way to Roasterie, I read about a book in Shambhala Sun called No Ordinary Apple: A Story of Mindful Eating which I realized could help me eat slower. We went to Roasterie Coffee. The next day I drove to my art class with Jack adding twenty more minutes to my time and drove back adding another twenty minutes. I drove to an art show where Donna’s work was displayed adding forty more minutes and back adding another forty minutes.

The next day I worked on my travel plans to Mongolia and I packed for my dad’s. I drove my mom to PetCo, a woman’s house, and then Hen House adding twenty more minutes to my driving time. After work I went to my dad’s, and I made some origami hearts from receipts. When I got back, I learned on my Lonely Planet book on Mongolia book about a retreat where people can learn about photography and wildlife poetry. The next day I went to Peanut with my dad and Jamie for brunch, worked on my travel pans to Mongolia, then went to Blue Koi with Jamie, Cam, my dad, my grandmom, and my granddad for dinner where I got some cartoon pictures of them and regular pictures of the inside of the restaurant. 

The next day I went to work again, and I made some more origami hearts from receipts during my first break. Later while I was working a thought occurred to me. People like Tyler and others on disability benefits should be allowed to make as much money as they can because no one should have to pay more to enjoy equal access to society. It would be like rich people having to pay to send their children to public schools and it decrease the amount of tax revenue we have making it harder to provide services to people especially people with disabilities. Later I traded shifts with Keuni from work and agreed to work from 8-4:30 on Tuesday. I worked on my hiking stick after work, and I realized that people with autism may be mistaken for gay or asexual because their interests are not always things people associate with their gender. I also carved a knife and worked on my ikebana flowers made from straws.

On Monday I went to work and afterwards I made some more origami hearts, worked on my flowers made from straws, and carved some more knives from wood. I put my ikebana flowers in a Pringles can vase covered with Tibetan tiger stripe designs, and I took the last of my bookshelves up to my room then I put my books on it. I rode my bike for about an hour and I decided to make the petals of my straw flowers look better by making them shorter. I also thought my phone’s battery was dead when it wouldn’t charge, and my mom and I agreed to go to the Verizon store after work. I was able to see more of how an episode of A.N.T. Farm developed which I took to mean I’m becoming more of a screenwriter. I also put the magazines on the bookshelf I first brought in on the bed in Cate’s old room until the new bookshelf beneath it. 

The next day I went to work, and I decided for every one person someone gets to sign The Friend of Autism Pledge we would give away a bottle cap pendant, earrings, bracelet, or magnet; for five people we would give away a toilet paper roll cord holder; for ten people we would give away a Pringles can pencil cup or piggy bank all of them with neurodiversity themes. After work my mom and I drove to Einstein’s, then the Verizon store where for four dollars they were able to tell me that my charger had dust in it and that’s why it wouldn’t charge. I let my mom pay me $3.50 for my weed pulling because she paid for the phone service. I drove us home after we went to Target getting twenty more minutes for the ride there and back. Then I went to Winstead’s with my granddad and got a copy the current issues of Mindful and Ancient American. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the chakra meditation with the others. I told them about my miksang photography and at the end of our session I did the dedication of merit. I also wrote down the name miksang photography for Steve on his phone. After I got home read in my Lonely Planet Mongolia book about a museum for the victims of Stalin’s purge and I saw an article in Mindful about Gettysburg. I remembered a story I read in Wisdom’s Blossoms: Tales of the Saints of India about this Hindu servant who wanted to visit an important pilgrimage site and achieved it through his hard work and that inspired me to really perform well at my job and maybe one day travel to the places I want to go to.

The next day I put my magazines, CDs, journals, coin collection, sword, shells, fossils, and bottle rocket on my book shelf and I rode my bike for about thirty-five minutes but came back when I saw it was starting to rain. Then I made some better flowers for my ikebana arrangement, and I read on-line that ikebana can be made not only from flowers but also dry wood, tree roots and branches, stones, pebbles, straws, seed berries, and even modern plastic and my collection of mani stones is kind of like ikebana. The next day I went to work and while I was there the thought occurred to me that the lack of economic freedom for people with disability benefits probably creates the need for so much paper work, costing our government a lot of money that it could use to provide services for people with disabilities like autism. I drove home adding ten more minutes to my driving time and my night driving time. I went to work the next day, and, on my way, I realized I could get started on my toilet paper roll cable holders for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group by taking apart the legs made from toilet paper rolls, which were crooked and sort of unsightly, I used for the table I made and replace them with legs I made from paper towel rolls I made which were much straighter. I also went to work the next day.

Getting a Driver's Permit

               On the first day of June I went to work and got the schedule which said I work the next day from 7-1:30, Monday from 8:30-1, Wednesday from 10-5:30, Thursday from 3-7:30, and Saturday from 3-7:30. I also found out the schedule had been changed so I worked from 3-7:30. I went home and slept for another hour and after I woke up, I carved a banana from a stick. I went to work later that day, and I realized that the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups should help autistic people find better employment thus raising tax revenue until eventually the government will have no excuse for not providing autistic people services made hard to find by government bureaucracy.          

               The next day when I went into work Phil told me the schedule changed again so I didn’t work until 1:30-10, and I used the time I had to sleep in some more. Before I went to work, I went to the Prairie Village Art Fair where I saw several good photographs which inspired me to keep doing my photography.  I also picked up something for my mom from RSVP. Later on, I went to work.

                On Monday I went to work and on my way back I got a Lonely Planet book on China with a section on Tibet and when I got home, I rode my bike for about an hour. The next day I found some good Tibetan Buddhist pilgrimage sites in Inner Mongolia (not to be confused with the country Mongolia), Yunnan, and Beijing and some good cycling and rafting places in China. I went to my appointment with Dr. Mays, and I got some cookies, eggs, ice cream, and cheez-its at the Prairie Village Hen House near my neighborhood. On my way back I saw several ducks in the creek nearby and got a good picture of them and I realized my Buddhist practice of miksang photography, taking pictures of things when you have a fresh perception, might go well with my pictures I do when I do birdwatching and wildlife-watching. I later took some pictures of flowers in my mom’s garden, and my mom and I agreed to go take my test to renew my driver’s permit on Thursday, which was a little nerve-racking to me. Later I heard my granddad say when I talked to him on the phone that he found another issue of Smithsonian from this year that he wanted to give me and the story of how he found it which he took as a sign that the universe wanted me to have it. 

                I went to work the next day, and I saw that the store was selling a National Geographic special issue called Mysteries of the Maya and a Time magazine special issue called Special Ops. I got a new USDA cap on my first break and saw a coffee drink near the snack section that had a cap like those in Frappuccino’s that I could add to my bottle cap collection. My granddad picked me up and when I talked to him he told me something that made me realize how the trouble autistic people have finding services in a whole bunch of government bureaucracy when he said that for impoverished people to get a free meal from this charity in Lee Summit there was a lot of paper work that asked everything from the name, race, and so on about the person getting it which costs so much money. He also said that next time I went until 5:30 he could just pick me up and take me home from work so I could get changed. 

                I meditated with the others at the Pathless Land on how I came to “the path,” what my view of enlightenment was then, and how it’s changed. I guess after being engorged in Tolkien’s Middle Earth, the remote Eastern feeling that I once associated with Buddhism felt so familiar to me and its peacefulness appealed to me while my friends fought in my middle school years. I heard one woman there who was a regular member for years say that she was brought there after she found out her husband had Alzheimer’s which made me realize how important it is to appreciate your time with the person you love. I also realized that pictures on food and drink, like I get at Roasterie Coffee with Granddad, would be a great subject for my miksang photography as they are like Tibetan Buddhist mandalas-art that’s impermanent. After the Pathless Land, my granddad and I went down to Roasterie Coffee where I got some pictures of my brownie and my smoothie and as we drove back home, me feeling a little nervous about my driver’s permit test, I remembered a line in a song by Ross Lynch from the Disney Channel’s Austin and Ally, which I saw with Tyler quite a lot, “It’s just a journey/and I’m not in any hurry.”

                My granddad took me home and gave me the Smithsonian issue he found which turned out to be the travel issue with some good articles on Africa. I remembered then what my Granddad said about how he thought the universe wanted him to find it. I watched an episode of Corey in the House that night, at the time when it was Tyler’s and my time to watch Wizards of Waverly Place and at the end of it the president of the United States said to Corey, “If you believe in yourself, things will get better.” I also remembered my mom told me a story about a girl with a learning disability who was able to pass the test taking it on a computer.

                The next day my mom and I went to the DVM, packed to bursting and found out it would be about four hours before I could take me test. I went home and rested a little and after about five hours plus I was finally able to take my test.  I took the eye test and got my permit picture taken. Unfortunately, the computer on which I was to take it went down, and it would be a while before they could get back on. I had no other choice but to take the test on paper. 

                I turned the test in a few minutes later and a woman at the counter graded it. She circled five questions and wrote -5 on the paper. I asked, “Does this mean I pass?”

                “Yes,” she said.

                I practically jumped for joy.

                “I passed!” I kept exclaiming for the next hour and a half.

                I went home to change into my work clothes and then my mom and I went to Culver’s Butter Burgers to celebrate. Then I went to work and got the bottle cap from that drink I saw during my break. Unfortunately, I found out those drinks, Real Coco Aloe, weren’t coffee drinks but some kind of drinks made from kelp or something judging by their taste, and I quickly got a soda from the machine in the break room to wash the taste down. That is ok, I thought. Part of the fun of bottle cap collecting I’ve learned is getting to try all sorts of new drinks.

                The next day my mom told me about this exhibit called Trash into Treasure with recycled artwork from a guy named Just Colcord on display at the Toy and Miniature Museum over the next two days. Later I deposited my paychecks though I took a little out for myself and I returned my Lonely Planet books on Mongolia and South Africa, Swaziland, and Lesotho to the library when they were due and I got National Geographic’s Mysteries of the Maya, Time magazine’s Special Ops, and the newest issue of National Geographic which I thought I’d start collecting to. I picked up a prescription at Bruce Smith where I saw the issues of National Geographic Traveler and Afar which made me realize travel would be a good place for miksang photography. I took some pictures of some ducks as I went back home and then I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 10-6:30, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 11-7:30, and Friday from 2-10:30. Then I packed for Dad’s and we ate at Mia Ranchito in Overland Park and I practiced driving with him in a parking lot and did pretty well. We also agreed to go to Trash into Treasure.

                I went to the exhibit with my dad and grandmom and introduced myself to Just Colcord and told him about my recycled crafts projects, which he thought were pretty interesting. I saw wands that he’d whittled, and I saw some of his animated films which he made with figurines he made from repurposed trash. Later we went to Spin Pizza and when I got home, I worked on my travel plans to Inner Mongolia. After that I went to work, and I got a new Sweet Leaf Tea cap from my drinks on one of my breaks. Afterwards I went to Homer’s where I got a new Nantucket cap from my drink. I also decided I might travel to Uyghurstan with its Silk Road towns since the Silk Road helped the spread of Buddhism. I read at Homer’s coffee shop my Lonely Planet book and found several Buddhist sites, places that sell fruits and ethnic musical instruments, and a museum with the Caucasian mummies that outraged the Chinese government since they were obviously not Chinese but could have been European and may have helped Buddhism spread into pre-Christian Europe. While I was there listening to the live music, I realized I could practice “mindful music listening” by being transformed by the songs you hear.

The next morning before I went to sleep, I realized that finding your purpose in life makes life feel a lot easier and therefore the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups should help make life easier for many people with autism.  I went to work that day, and I realized that “mindful music listening” can help you learn a person’s story and a little bit about the story of the people who listen to them. I got three new Sweet Leaf Tea caps from my drinks during my breaks and when I got home my mom offered to pay me to pull weeds from the patio and I agreed to take it. I got some sticks to carve after that and then I got home and carved some of them into wands. My granddad also agreed to pick me up after work on Wednesday and he’d bring me some Winstead’s to-go and then we’d go to the Pathless Land. 
             The next day I went to work and got a new Sweet Leaf Tea cap during my break, and I realized that me leading the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group demonstrates to people what a person with autism can do. I got back home, and my mom offered to pay me for pulling weeds out of the backyard.  I also realized that mindful music listening can help you connect with people like a lover, when listening to their type of music.