Autism Acceptance Month Week 2

On Tuesday I went to the Office of Academic Advising and found out they didn’t have me scheduled for that day, so I ended up talking to the girl at the desk and got it rescheduled for 9:30 next Thursday. I also needed to do some laundry while still reading the reading for my Early American Literature class. I did my reading outside on the bench outside Ellis, going in after a half hour to put my laundry in the drawer, then again in another hour to get my laundry hamper upstairs and rush down to the laundry room downstairs, and bring the laundry up another two stairs, and still had twenty pages left of reading for my Early American Literature class. I rushed to that class and got there four minutes late after my instructor had closed the door, but luckily, he opened it when I knocked. 

I found out I gotten ten out of ten points on my last discussion post for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Afterwards I enjoyed the outdoor weather. During that time, I found a fortune slip that said, “Never underestimate the power of human touch.” I also read a lot of the reading for my World Archaeology class. That evening, I went outside, gathered a lot of sand in from the north stairs of and sidewalk corners around Ellis, put them in on one my Altoids containers, dropped a pebble in it, and racked the sand around to form lines making a Zen garden, which looked so beautiful and tranquil. I got back and got about halfway through Chinatown and decided to try and write an analysis paper on how it uses form and lighting to capture something such as disillusionment of the American dream or other and thought I might really enjoy the world of film scholarship to some extent. I decided to save finishing the rest of the movie for tomorrow when Maria knocked on my door and invited me and the other residents of my hall to an ice cream social, which only Antwon and I went to, but it gave him, Maria, and I a chance to hang out together, which was indeed rather fun. I felt pretty tired after I got up, so I took a three-hour nap, before eating dinner with Mary. I realized my tiredness stemmed from not taking my medicine this morning, which I quickly did. Afterwards I got my stuff from my mom in the mail. After talking to my granddad, I took another nap. I found out my posts and links got even more likes. Then I read the first few pages for my Early American Literature class and took another miksang photo. I took another nap, expecting to fall asleep. Instead, I went to Late Night and had some nachos before reading several more pages of The Goddess and the Bull and learning a lot more in the process and taking notes on it. 

During breakfast Josh asked me if I would like to be in a video for THRIVE, and I told him I would be happy to. I ate with him, Kriti, and Connor, and Kriti told me about the Show Me Justice Film Festival which today was the last day of and how a series of short films was showing from 1:30-3:30 today and then two short films called Wheelchair Diaries and Reframing Islam were showing tonight at seven, and I agreed to try and come. I got an e-mail from the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network asking me to submit a statement on the Judge Rotenberg Center by Monday and I typed it up, though I felt frustrated when my computer didn’t let my fill in all the information. I also saw a link from Laci on Facebook about her presentation and commented saying, “Sounds interesting. I’ll have to hear more about it sometime.” I saw the short films that evening, which included a film on how apparently, two parents had been able to help their son recover from his autism with cannabis, yet by the end of the film, I was pretty unconvinced. I did go to the filmmaker’s Q&A, and soon the discussion turned to the connection between social justice and film, and I realized I didn’t want all my socially relevant films to be non-commercial, as most of the filmmaker’s films were, because I could show people that a socially responsible film could in fact make money. I also realized that rather than having to deal explicitly with social justice in my films, I could always follow Chogyam Trungpa’s view of working with film where one tries to incorporate the principles of building an enlightened society as he talked about through the arts, perhaps in a similar way to how Homer tried to  instill good morals in the Greeks through The Odyssey and The Illiad, especially seeing as saving this world, as the discussion turned to how films can get people to go out and vote, is not about converting the world to one party or opinion (e.g. democrat, republican) over another, just as the autistic struggle isn’t, and nor was the Civil Rights movement in Dr. King’s mind. At the end I introduced myself to my Film Appreciation teacher, who I told of my idea for my critical analysis paper, and he liked the idea. I went to The Wheelchair Diaries and Reframing Islam, writing down a haiku that came to me while I waited for the movie to start.  Reframing Islam dealt with Muslims in America who smiled, as opposed to our stereotypical view of angry Muslims. I liked the film, though I was left with some technical questions, and during the Q&A I asked the filmmakers, one of whom was a Muslim from the Middle East, how as I know many Buddhists and Christians who don’t smile regularly, that while I thought the film was good, I thought other film projects could also help change perceptions of Muslims and wondered what projects they were involved in to help due that. To that, the filmmaker answered that his film was rather more intended to use the images of smiling to show what Muslims had in common with the rest of the world. I got back and read a good article from Babble about autism and cannabis, which related so much of what I was thinking, about how it cannot cure autism, and how the effects it treats may be consequences, rather than symptoms of autism, and much more, and shared it on Facebook.

Afterwards I went down to Walgreen’s and got some toothpaste and shampoo. I picked up and sorted several recyclables on my way back. I got back and I saw Laci had liked my comment about her post about her presentation. I worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam and then made several more heart-shaped pins from straws. I talked to my mom who said she shared a link to my blog on Facebook with several of her Facebook friends, including the wife of a famous football player whose son has autism and runs a charitable foundation called the Autism Foundation, and they had great comments, and the wife of the football player planned to show it to her husband. Later I started watching Clerks for my Film Appreciation class, pausing only to eat dinner, where I sat with Connor from THRIVE. Afterwards I watched the rest of Chinatown, and when I finished at 10:50, I rushed down to the library and finished my statement on the Judge Rotenburg Center for the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, my paper on Clerks, and my paper proposal all before midnight. 

The next day I heard about how theonering.net has a poetry series and This Day in Middle Earth series that its members can post on and how Tolkien said he did intend to give Middle Earth creative license to other forms of entertainment. I also read an article that was a photo essay on Tolkien’s influences. After meditating, showering, and eating breakfast I read a lot of the reading for my Early American Literature class, while learning to read one page at a time without rushing, just like I should when I eat. Then I made several more beads from straws after deciding to give myself a little break from my work. After that I found out where I go about my holds on my account from the Testing Center and went there and learned I need to take a general education test now that I’ve taken forty-five different hours. Then I typed up my role-playing paper, getting more in the mind of an archaeologist, as Yelton put it, or so I thought. Then I went to the Union computer lab and wrote my weekly April Autist Dharma post called People to Appreciate After Your Normal College Drinking, about what the world may have been like if Thomas Jefferson had not founded the University of Virginia, then a forum called All You Need is Love (And Interventions) (again, not my best title).  Then I wrote another post called Square Pegs Don’t Roll Off the Table: A Photo Essay on the World Due to Autism.  After that I had to run to the dining hall and got there to minutes before it closed. Then I saw The Autist Dharma had gotten over one hundred views, ninety-nine in the U.S., three in Russia, and one each from Canada, Germany, France, and Spain, and wrote a Facebook post on it about “lighting it up green” for autism, and several other posts. I also talked to Tyler when I got back. 

Spring Break 2014

I saw an e-mail about how condolences for the loss can be sent to the address of the ASA president Ellen Whit, whose name I recognized from the Friend of Autism Pledge, and I decided to send her an e-mail after break saying I recognized her name in the e-mail from the pledge and wanted to wish my condolences to her. I put up a Facebook post that said, “Three types of girls I will never date:/-Girls who don’t wear their seatbelts, or ride with people who do/-Girls who smoke/-Girls who support autism organizations that pay more to their executives than supporting individuals and families/All three of those thing could cut my time short with her.” I saw Dr. Downing, Jamie, Kurt, Britney, and one other person liked it. I also wrote “Three of the worst things you can do while driving:/-drink/-text/-support charities that don’t pay most of their money to the causes they claim to represent/When you do any of these things your car can kill.” Brittany liked that. I shared a link to Hook’s obituary on Ryan, Philip’s, Hillary’s, and Mardy’s page and saw that they liked it, and Hillary liked my comment on her page about how I reacted to these girls' deaths.  Brittany also liked several other things on my page. I shared a link about the vigil on THRIVE’s Facebook page, commenting on what the girls did for THRIVE and how I thought the link deserved to be on there, and Dr. Downing approved. I shared a Buddhist link with people at the Pathless Land, and several of them, including Steve, liked it, and Steve said, “Awesome Ben Edwards.” I realized I can reach out to and gain respect of people like that. I talked to Tyler who said he knew of the girl’s deaths and knew one of the girls. I realized there are times when college students lose their lies like this, like the fall semester before last, when a twenty-three-year-old UCM male student died in a car wreck not wearing his seatbelt, from seeing it in the Muleskinner while working there.

The next morning I felt pretty good though a little frustrated as I had a nosebleed while I had just undressed to take a shower and Dad texted me to call him and I wanted to call Elizabeth to make plans for tomorrow, but I called Dad, and I called Elizabeth and she offered to pick me up and take me to Panera tomorrow, which I accepted as I was feeling still quite overwhelmed by the loss of the girls. When Elizabeth pulled up in my driveway however, we ended up going to Minsky’s in downtown Prairie Village instead of Panera. Elizabeth and I started getting caught up on each other’s lives and she told me there was an Autistic Self-Advocacy Network chapter opening up in Kansas City. I started telling her about the group and she was excited to hear that it was getting ready and understood that it was taking a while to get off the ground.

“The thing about the autism community is that we’ve always sought friendship,” she also told me, “I’m your friend in the autism community.”

Finally, I also told her about the loss of Hook and Reeder.

“I’m sorry,” she said, very sincerely.

“It’s just, sometimes I still feel some pain, but then it just subsides.”

“That’s called grief and it’s perfectly natural. It means something was important to you.” 

I smiled. Elizabeth was being very empathetic just as I had expected she would.

“These kind of things just seem to happen, and I guess, ultimately, there’s really no point in trying to figure out why.”

Elizabeth looked at me with such kind eyes. Eventually we got off the subject of Hook and Reeder, which was really a relief to me. She asked me about my bottle cap necklace, and I told her about it and showed her my belt made from plastic bags. She looked amazed.

“It’s really strong,” I said.

“I believe you!"

I learned her brother had had cancer for the last year, although she did tell me not to make any negative assumption about it too quickly as she said he was getting better. She also gave me a business card for her work as a music therapist, which she had recently been licensed to do after finishing her practicum for it last year. As I got out of her car and said goodbye, I realized I truly did have one friend in the autism community.

Later that day I went with my dad to our family house at Lake Lotawana where I indeed also found twenty-three new pebbles near our garden. Then we went to have a beer at the Canoe Club while we waited for my grandparents to come and eat with us. In the meantime, he asked what I planned to do after college. I mentioned selling some environmental crafts on Etsy, being a drama teacher at Horizon, and maybe publishing a book on my experiences at UCM and other parts of my life, before, hopefully, getting a career in filmmaking. He thought those were all good ideas. Then he asked me, “Ben, have you ever thought of having a career as an autism specialist? It’s just that none of the autism specialists I’ve ever known of have had autism.”

“I don’t know," I said. "I mean I thought either way I would do some stuff involving autism.” 

Soon my grandparents arrived. My granddad started telling us about how Bob from the Pathless Land was told by his doctor that he absolutely needed to quit smoking. He had “had his last smoke” with my granddad, though there had been slips since then. I had hoped he would quit as he was a great man who I had known for the last two years at the Pathless Land. 

The next day I drove to my appointment with Dr. Mays, then to the post office, and then home getting twenty-five more minutes of driving. I made twelve more flowers, seven more heart-shaped pins, a rose, and then seventeen more heart-shaped pins from straws, and decided to use the heart-shaped pins in making prints. I went to Better Cheddar and got two new bottle caps for my collection and drank the drinks while I ate a Mars Bar and read Mckinsey’s blog post on world hunger statistics, which I commented on favorably. I went to the hardware store and got a saw to cut my board at school apart and some wood to cut into rectangles for wood burning. I then cut apart the board and turned that coaster project Mom started into two coasters, which she was pretty impressed by. I also got the idea for when I find “a one” to glue the letters of my old computers to two of those boards and give each of us one of them on our anniversary where we can write a word or phrase next to each other about how we feel about each other. I drove to Bella Napoli, getting ten more minutes of driving. There I also got a new bottle cap from my beer. I also realized how interesting it is that I drink two sodas and eat a Mars Bar while reading a post on world hunger statistics. 

The next day I called Jack and left a message to see if he could sleep over with Tyler and I this spring break. Afterwards I grinded up leaves and spread them in my mom’s garden for fifteen dollars an hour for three hours. I also felt comforted knowing Elizabeth could understand how I felt about those girls. I made one of my coasters for Aunt Laura from receipts. I went down to Better Cheddar and got two new bottle caps for my collection from my drinks. On my way back I picked up and sorted some recyclables. On my way back I found a good walking stick to carve. I also worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam.

I was able to slow down and take a breath while I enjoyed some Welsh rarebit for dinner tonight. I then talked to Jack who said he couldn’t sleep over this spring break because he has a lot going on, but he did say he could do it over the summer. I also told him about the girls, which he was shocked about, but glad I told him about, and about how Emily and I broke up. I talked to Dad and he and I agreed to eat dinner together tomorrow night and I sent him the links to my blogs. I wrote another post Autism and Olympics: Not So Special After All and posted it. I also saw another one of my Facebook friends accepted my invitations to like Tania Marshall and Little People of America. I remembered how great it feels to wake up and get a text asking saying, “I love you.”

The next day I realized more of how I would organize my stamp collection before I went to BRGR with Dad and he gave me dozens of bottle caps, which I found five new ones in, two Buddhist magazines, which I already had but could make some DIY colleges with, and a craft board. The next day I drove to get my blood tested and got ten minutes of driving on the way, then to a garden shop, then Dunkin Donuts, where I had a jelly donut, then Bruce Smith, and then the hardware store, getting another twenty minutes of driving. Afterwards I got two new bottle caps from my drinks at Better Cheddar. I also got some bread and turkey at Hen House along with the current issue of National Geographic. I arranged to get together with Erin tomorrow at eleven, and then I wrote in my dream journal. I also made another rose from straws. Tyler got here and I gave him those bottle caps I’d saved for him. We ate burgers and fries and then watched Epic. 

The next day Tyler met Erin before she and I went to the Cheesecake Factory, and I gave her presents and she gave me mine: a book called Empires of the Silk Road: A History of Central Eurasia from the Bronze Age to the Present. I got home and then went to my dentist appointment. I got back and rested from the cavity filling. I also agreed to go with Mom and her family to New Hampshire over the fourth of July, as I don’t see her family very often. I swung in our backyard while I read a lot of Erin’s book. Later I got Tyler to resend the link to the Down Syndrome Dance form when I couldn’t get to the page via the link I was sent. 

The next morning, I worked on my revised research paper for my Early American Literature class. I moved some soil, mulch, and compost into my mom’s new garden bed, during which time I realized that Beorn attacking the dwarves as a bear in the second Hobbit movie was a good idea as that way the audience gets the see Beorn as a bear before the third movie comes out, and Beorn being at Dol Guldur doesn’t seem like such a bad idea as Beorn was close to Radagast, who was a member of the White Council, and lived near there. Later I saw some good miksang photos and got inspired to take some more, which I did. I saw that the Autism Women’s Network liked my review of them before I took another photo. I also got together some bottle caps for my rainbow fish wall fish.

A Tempting Offer

 

I awoke on a Wednesday morning and saw Luis, who I met at the waffle event, had sent me a text inviting me to his fraternity party, and I agreed to go. I got an e-mail from the Office of Student Activities, saying they couldn’t book a room in the Union for the time I requested, but asked if we could meet somewhere else. I told them we could. I also realized I didn’t have a textbook with a DVD I was supposed to have for my Film Appreciation class. Later I went to the fraternity party for Tau Kappa Epsilon, and saw Luis, Ryan, and Chris, and met several Noah, Alex, Grant, Sean, and some other TKE members. I talked to my dad, who said he would pay me back for the book and then made twelve more straws into beads and worked on my pendant lamp. 

During my Early American Literature class, I realized I didn’t have my book with me to write response papers, which our instructor asked for a full page of notebook paper’s worth, something I thought we would type up outside of class and only managed to get a little more than half a page from borrowing the textbook of my classmate sitting next to me. After my World Archaeology class, I went to the bookstore and got the DVD I needed for my Film Appreciation class. Then I got the e-mail that next week’s meeting for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group would be in Wood 216, where North American Indian class was and my World Archaeology class is held.

As I got back to my room, a tall Asian student approached me.

“You Ben?” he asked in somewhat fluent English, smiling.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Ok. I saw you last night at the party. I was thinking we could be roommates because I want to learn about American culture.”

“Ok. What was your name again?”

“Jai. J-A-I.”

“Ok. Yeah, well I’ll see you again tonight."

Connor came into our room later and said, “Ben, I’m going to move into the room next door cause it’s bigger and Aaron is going to be my new roommate, but there’s a guy from South Korea who said he would be your new roommate, and he seems like a pretty cool guy.”

“Alright,” I said, relieved that I had now talked it over with Connor.

I went to the party again that night and saw Jai, accompanied with another South Korean student. Jai said, “Ben, this is Sinho. He will be your new roommate.”

“Ok,” I said slightly confused.

“I will come over tomorrow to see your room,” he said, sounding more inquisitive than declarative.

“Ok, "I said. “Would three o’ clock work for you?”

“Three?” he said.

“Sure, three.”

“Aw, ok,” He put his index finger to his thumb in understanding.

The next morning, I had lunch with Jai, who I saw in the dining hall. Then I worked some more on my handbag made from snack wrappers and read the reading for my Film Appreciation class. I went to do my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa post in the Lovinger Building, where I got a new presidential dollar from putting a dollar bill in the machine and ejecting it. I posted my post for my modern Sub-Saharan Africa class, and then started my first response post for that class during which time I realized Africa may have such a problem with HIV/AIDS because when malaria victims get blood transfusions, hospitals don’t have the equipment to test blood donors for HIV/AIDS, and that orphans many children and as a result they can’t go to school or get health care and don’t know how to protect themselves against these diseases. I also realized that I am studying film, literature, and things to do with different societies and cultures at UCM, all of which I want to do with my career. Later Sinho came over and I showed him my room and the dining hall, and we got the paperwork filled out. Then I showed him around the Ellis dining hall.

Afterwards I turned twelve more straws into beads and then went to Those Were the Days to get some more embroidery floss for my yarn paintings. 
             I went to the TKE party afterwards, sitting with Jai and Sinho in the charter room. Noah came up and talked to us, during which time Jai and Sinho revealed that they had been given “bids” and were now planning to join the organization.

“Are you guys ready for the next eight weeks?” Noah asked relishing in those words.

“Why?” Jai asked.

“For the next eight weeks, you have to do whatever they say before you can become a member.”

I saw one of the students I met gather up all the bags used for their food. I asked, “Do you need those bags?” He threw them in my direction, and I caught them. I ate dinner and met two more South Korean students, who knew Jai and Sinho, Ryan and Kim, or rather those were the names they went by. Kim said to me, “I think you will enjoy being roommates with Sinho. He is a very nice, just as you are also very nice."

Later Sean came up to me and said, “Ben, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” I said. I followed him into a room, where the student who had tossed me those bags, was sitting on a bed, looking solemnly at me. He said, “Ben, we’ve gotten to know you over the past few days, and we think you’re a really cool guy, and that TEK could help you wish your goals, and we think you would be a good person to represent our organization.” He handed me an envelope. 
             “You have forty-eight hours to decide, in which you just need to contact one of our members.”

“Wow,” I said, just struggling for words. “Thanks,” I said, half-audibly.

I went back into the lounge area and opened the envelope. There was a note with the TKE shield, saying:

Since our founding in 1899, more than 250,000 men have been initiated into our brotherhood.  Based on your personal worth and character, the men of Tau Kappa Epsilon do hereby extend an invitation for you to join our Fraternity.

Better Men for a Better World.

Suddenly I had a vivid sensation all throughout my body. Two decades of autistic suffering, of bullies and abusive teachers from elementary school; autism organizations who got undeserved hype while paying more to their executives than educational and developmental research for autism at the expense of good autism organizations; therapists in my early young adult years who implied I would never thrive at a traditional four year college, or that any love interest I had would never return my feelings, were all things I could shove back at them: I had been invited to a national fraternity!

I still was not sure though if I should join. I had all my schoolwork in addition to the group. I talked to my granddad, and he said, “You have forty-eight hours to decide.” I finished my Gandhi yarn painting, except for the frame, trying to clear my mind of the question. I went to bed dreaming of author Lemony Snicket walking up to and hugging a woman who he always referred to as “my darling Beatrice.” The next morning, I read more of Anthills of the Savanah and took out my recycling to the courtyard where I found several more pebbles for my collection. I got back to my dorm and worked on my coasters made from Styrofoam and a scrapbook cover made from a chips bag. I also watched Two Cars, One Night for my Film Appreciation class, where two young indigenous children, a boy and girl developed an affection for each other and took some good notes on it for my post on the film. I went on Facebook and saw my grandmom had liked one of my autism posts. I shared several great posts from the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, Autistic Women’s Empowerment, and the Autism Support Network one of which being about a woman married to an autistic man and I commented with the post saying that for many autistic people, it is scary to be with someone who might not understand our condition so close up, and I used to be one of them, and dating is either like a mine field or a cage, and we can only hope that when we come around we can only hope that the mines which were really treasure chests will still be around for us. I saw in my mailbox that I had gotten my Christmas present from my Uncle Andy and Aunt Marge: a $25 Amazon gift card. I worked on another self for toilet paper roll dioramas and my handbag. I also turned twenty-two more straws into beads.

The next day I sorted some recycling during which time I found an interesting seashell for my collection (which I no longer take from beaches for environmental purposes) in the courtyard. Later I helped two of the Korean students moving into Ellis move in by letting them keep their stuff in my room for a little while during which time one of them complimented my toilet paper roll dioramas and even asked me if I carved the wooden Buddha figurine. Later I finished my posts for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Soon after that I did all the posts and responses for my Film Appreciation class. Later I went to Crazy Dog’s taking several great pictures of the campus and picking up and recycling several bottles and cans along the way, got a new Snapple cap from my drink, and learned more of how to make shopping bags from plastic bags. Then I called Luis and told him I wouldn’t have the time to join TKE between my classes and starting some projects to help the UCM community but I felt honored and that it was very sincere and meant a lot to me that they would consider me a potential member and make me so welcomed among them and I looked forward to doing anything with the guys in the future.

Later I went to Crazy Dog’s taking several great pictures of the campus and picking up and recycling several bottles and cans along the way and got a new Snapple cap from my drink. Then I worked on my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam. Later I prepared my PowerPoint presentation for the luncheon tomorrow during and also learned the organization called the Dan Marino Foundation has raised over $47 million dollars for autism services. Once I finished that I thought I would give a portion of my ethnic musical instrument collection to JCCC as well as a portion of it to UCM and my collection of art from around the world to Horizon Academy, and my bottle cap signs to the Pathless Land. I got back and I made another flower and twenty more straws into beads.  I also looked at my Buddha figurine and thought, maybe someday I will be able to carve something like that. 

The next morning, I had breakfast with Jai and Kim before I went to the Psychology Club/Psi Chi joint meeting. When it was my time, I got up and gave my presentation to all the students, of which Ryan, a guy from my hall was one of. At the end of it everyone clapped, and one student said he would be interested in being a peer mentor. After the meeting was over, I felt relieved and went back to my dorm and worked on my handbag and coasters. I found two more pebbles for my collection and found some wooden planks I could carve in the dumpster and brought them to my room while I took out my trash and recycling. Then I read the reading for my Early American Literature class. After that I decided to carve those planks I found into figures, one of them of the Buddha, and another of Merlin and started drawing the design for that while I ate dinner with Mary, who I learned still has that handbag I made which Tyler gave her, Anna, and Tasha.

I made myself a coaster from the plates at the luncheon and it looked really great. I read more of Anthills of the Savanah while I ran, and it was really interesting. I had Late Night with Jai and Kim. Then I showed my dad pictures of my Gandhi yarn painting and my coaster, and he loved them. After that I talked to Tyler while I turned ten more straws into beads, and I realized that my JCCC group, as well as my interview with Chris Hernandez, which may have led some people to it, may have helped autism groups that don’t give their share go under the radar, and felt really proud, realizing that like Teresa said, I do deserve to be loved, and felt no fear of asking a girl out when the time is right. 

The next morning, I realized that saying to a person with Asperger syndrome that he or she can’t speak for a non-verbal autistic (but neurotypical people can) is basically saying that because they’re autistic they can’t speak for non-verbal people. I read an article called Thirty-five Pictures That Prove the World isn't Such a Bad Place and was inspired by that to leave an umbrella out in my yard when I have a house for stray dogs and cats to go under when it rains, and I realized I do things worthy of those pictures when I sort the recycling or the way I was a friend to Tyler. I went to my Early American Literature class where I got back my last writing assignment which to my relief, I saw had a check. As I got back to my dorm, I decided to make my red, white, and blue straws into flowers rather than beads, as flowers take less time to make. Then I worked on one of my lampshades made from straws, and made about thirty more flowers, using the excess straw for beads, and worked some more on my handbag made from snack wrappers. After that I ate dinner with Brian, Mary, and Jade from THRIVE, before going to the Anthropology Club meeting, and I heard Laci was going to be presenting at an Anthropology convention in Bloomington, Illinois this April. I got a free book Introducing Cultural Anthropology with a cover showing Kazakh hawkers, which I thought would make a great wood burning. When I got back, I realized that making wall art like the ones made from paper from toilet paper rolls saves trees, by replacing paper requiring trees to be cut down. Then I worked on that lampshade made from straws, my coasters made from paper plates. Afterwards I read more of Anthills of the Savanah while running on the treadmill. I went to Late Night where I read a section in my new book about applied anthropology, and how it had been used to help reforest Haiti. I got back and I worked on sawing apart that long plank during which time I realized my saw wasn’t wide enough to cut it, so I would have to look at the hardware store. I also made ten more beads from straws.

The next morning, I realized it’s wrong to say that a person with Asperger syndrome couldn’t speak for an autistic person with high support needs seeing how I can speak so well for Tyler. After I woke up, I read some more of Anthills of the Savanah and took a break to work on my handbag. 

I went to the room where the meeting was supposed to take place, where I saw Tom waiting outside, only to hear on an e-mail sent to me yesterday that it was changed to room 306, only the janitor thought we were meeting in room 305, thinking we were the ABC Club and when I told him who we were he said we were supposed to meet in room 216.

“Sorry, Tom,” I said.

“That’s ok,” he told me.

 After that I sent an e-mail to Laura Scot from the Office of Student Activities about it asking that they look into the matter and the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group members and the prospective peer mentors apologizing for any inconvenience they may have faced. I knew I would have to have patience, like the Buddhist saint Padmasambhava did when spreading Buddhism to Tibet, making him such a saintly man, and wondered if that wasn’t why we have the term “patience of a saint.”

I read some more of the reading for my Early American Literature class when I got back and on the treadmill. Later on, I made about thirty more flowers from straws and turned ten more straws into beads.

The next day I sat with Anna, Mary (Oscar’s girlfriend), and Oscar at breakfast. After that I read the reading for my Early American Literature class. After that class I saw Grant from TKE. We said hi to each other and he told me that some time I ought to come and visit the TKE house. After my World Archaeology class bought some gorilla glue for my snack wrapper collages and returned my library copy of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.

I got an idea for more of how to make my plastic bag mandala from the Warrensburg bags, and to make one with a smiley face, representing the way smiling can transform how you feel, a yellow circle around it, representing the Great Eastern Sun, white Walmart bags, representing the Vajra sky and the Buddhist metaphor for watching your thoughts like clouds, a tree, representing the Buddha as he was portrayed in early Theravada Buddhism, as well as the Bodhi tree, and the hierarchy of Heaven, Earth, and Man, and Target targets around the tree, sun, and edges. I worked on that and my mandala made from Warrensburg bags, as well as my snack wrapper collages of Maja Toudal and Thomas Jefferson with my new gorilla glue, and my coasters made from paper plates and Styrofoam, and then ate dinner with Sinho and Jai. I went to the Rec Center with them and ran on the treadmill for about half an hour, during which time I realized that if thirty-three states have voted to have autism health coverage, then they may also vote for senators who will help pass it. 

The next morning, I worked on my snack wrapper collages some more and read more of Anthills of the Savanah. Then I sorted a lot of recycling during which time I found two more pebbles for my collection. After that I worked on my coaster made from paper plates and Styrofoam some more.  I also remembered my “Unable/You enable” mantra. I got a text from Hillary and learned David Mahon from THRIVE was visiting, so I went down to see him, and we got caught up on each other’s lives. I later worked on my pencil cups made from Pringles cans, and saw an e-mail from Dr. Mayfield, thanking me for handling the confusion so well on Wednesday, where a meeting taking longer than she expected stopped her from being able to come. Later Sinho asked me if I wanted to move to Foster/Knox apartments, which he said was cheaper and bigger. Since he seemed like he really wanted to, I said yes, but thought I would really be lonely outside of Ellis, but perhaps if I had the sort of person Teresa asked me to love, that might be different. At the end of the day, I talked to my dad and told him how Grant asked me to visit the TKE house.

“So those guys took it ok?” he asked.

“Yeah. I guess they have their own lives to worry about. They seemed to understand. I’ve got a big thing I have to start in addition to my schoolwork. But it’s ok because I have the autistic students at UCM to serve. They are my brothers, and sisters.”

First Few Days Back at School 2014

Before going back to school I packed up, scooped Peter’s litter box, and sorted some of Cam’s recycling. Then my dad picked me up and we stopped by Walgreen’s to get me some Zyrtec for my allergies and some lotion for my hands. We went to Crazy Dog’s getting Snapple for my drink with a new Snapple cap for my collection with it. We got to school, and I unpacked. After that I made another from a straw and worked on one of my lampshades made from straws. I also got an e-mail from my Film Appreciation instructor and learned that the class will be done on Blackboard. After that I ate dinner with Maria, Thad, Matt, John, and few other students from the hall, many of whom are new and I met a lot of them, which Maria invited us all to do. I took out my recycling and sorted a lot of recycling during which time I found a new shelf, which I used to put a lot of my recyclables, my yarn paintings, and my stamp collection. I talked to Granddad, who told me that he went to their friends Mr. and Mrs. North’s wedding reception where he saw Mrs. Kennedy, my high school principal who said that I was an inspiration to the students at Horizon who came after me. I talked to my dad who said I’d left my Zyrtec and lotion in his car but he agreed to send them to me along with some bottle caps, a Buddhist magazine someone gave him, and a crafts board he meant to bring this morning. I then made thirteen more flowers, using some of the excess straw to make beads.  While I was running on the treadmill, I worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers and saw the King of the Hill episode where Luanne struggles with finding herself while she and Lucky take care of their newborn baby.  I started feeling like having a child, who needs you so constantly, with no ability to be certain about their welfare all the time would really put strain on a relationship, but when I got back I remembered how I once read about a twentieth century Indian guru Hazrat Inayat Khan, who brought his teachings to the U.S. and met an American woman, who he married and had four kids with, and in a picture of his wife, she looked so happy, as if overjoyed to be with the one she loves.

                The next day I found another bottle cap for my collection while taking out my trash and recycling, before going down to the OAS Office to schedule an appointment with Dr. Mayfield about the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group and scheduling my tests in the Testing Center.  I got there and saw Laci, who looked somewhat morose before she saw me, scheduled an appointment for Wednesday at 12, and gave her my name and phone number in case they needed to reach me. 

                “I’ll see you around, Laci,” I said as I left.

                “Bye,” she said to me.

                After that I e-mailed all the members and prospective peer mentors telling them I was working on getting a meeting going for the Autism Spectrum Support Group. I also found out one of the Prospective peer mentors, John, e-mailed me asking if I would like to come speak to his organization, the Psychology Club about my group on the 27th, and I obliged. Later I confirmed registration for my Film Appreciation class and my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Then I did the first assignment for my Film Appreciation class, read all the readings and watched all the videos for now in my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. I learned that for this class, we would have to do a book report on an African novel. I finished the first assignment for that class, a map of Africa where we labeled each country, and only needed to look on-line for maybe three or four of them. I got back and had dinner with Oscar, Connor, David, Jess, Mary, Josh, and Kriti. I went to the hardware store and got a file for my belt buckle, and along the way I picked up some recyclables. I looked at my Lonely Planet West Africa book while running, looking for some novels to do my book report on. I also looked up ways to write a song and found, in wikihow.com a suggestion to write just some random rhyming words to find the rhythm, saying the song Yesterday started by going “Scrambled eggs. Lady, you’ve got such lovely legs.”  I also thought of a perfect rhythm for a song based off my poem Autistic Pride Day Sonnet and thought Maja Toudal may be a great one to sing it. I worked on my handbag when I got back, and then I went to Late Night where I saw on amazon.com a flute solo book for the first Hobbit movie, and told myself, If I take a risk and love someone who will love me the way I deserve to be loved, I will get myself that book as a reward. I also thought I’d just use my bottle caps to make some signs with them glued to a piece of wood saying words such as “Love” and “Breathe.”

                I went to my Early American Literature class the next day, where I found out we needed to read some pages of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin for our next class period. I didn’t have it yet and I asked my instructor where he could find it, and he said I could get it at the UCM library. Later I got the idea to make some bottle cap signs in the future saying, “Look” and “Now,” all words from pieces of Buddhist calligraphy. I also was told in my World Archaeology class that we would be doing a book report on a book called The Goddess and the Bull, which dealt with an ancient prehistoric site in present-day Turkey. After that I sorted some recycling afterwards during which time I found another bottle cap and stamp for my collections. I ate dinner with Philip while I made twelve more flowers, and Philip told me he couldn’t go to school this semester as he lost his financial aid due to him failing bowling last semester so he’s trying to get a job and apartment in Warrensburg.

 “Well I’m sorry to hear that,” I said.

 “Eh, it’s ok.”

I called Erin and talked to her after that. Later I checked out the book for my Early American Literature class at the library while I realized that in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King film, Aragorn not having his sword Anduril at Dunharrow or his Elven and Dunedain kin, as well as Denethor being insane, unwilling to light the beacons, and being driven to over the edge and asking his men to flee their posts during the Siege of Gondor, and the lack of the mustering of Gondor, Imrahil, Beregond, and others, made the looming threat of Gondor’s destruction more palpable, as well as justified Elrond’s lack of faith in men, Arwen’s struggle to remain loyal to Aragorn and thus the elves at Helm’s Deep, and Aragorn’s self-doubt, which also helped Arwen to be supportive of him like a good lover is supposed to do. On my way back I realized that Smaug’s weakness being a loose scale in the second Hobbit movie helped introduce Bard as the heir to Dale, and when I got back and realized that I could stimulate dragon fire on stage if I made light shine and wind blow in the same direction simultaneously. I layed out my crown bottle caps in my collection in rows and columns and saw how beautiful it looked with all colors, sort of like the people of the world. I also realized that in The Return of the King movie, all those factors Peter Jackson added that made Gondor’s threat more compelling also did that with Aragorn’s destiny to become king of Gondor, that The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers movie, Treebeard and the Ents deciding initially not to go to war with Isengard makes Saruman’s threat seem more serious, all of which seemed like a very great love story, or rather, a great way to show the love between Aragorn and Arwen in The Lord of the Rings films. 

                The next morning, I realized that the Elves at Helm’s Deep did sort of fit with them being a symbol of hope. Then I read a lot of the reading for my Early American Literature class. After that I made five more flowers and some separator beads from the excess straw. I also worked on priest, drummer, and Inuit sorcerer figurines made from plastic bottle caps and realized I could use pipe cleaners to support them and hold them together and make the arms of the Inuit sorcerer by cutting off the edges of milk bottle caps and twisting them into spirals and connecting the edges. I went to the OAS Office at to meet with Barbara, but they told me my meeting was at twelve o’ clock on Thursday. That was weird, I thought. 

Later I posted a response to a classmate’s favorite movies for my Film Appreciation class. I got back and I turned forty-eight straws into beads realizing I could stop my legs from falling asleep if I got up and stretched them every fifteen minutes and I did the Celtic vine meditation as I worked on the straws. I told my granddad about my appointment mix-up and realized my Early American Literature class is at the time I was scheduled to meet Barbara, and I would have to reschedule it. I later saw Philip in the cafeteria, and I read more of the reading for The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. I read some more while I ran and told myself to read one sentence at a time and the result was that I read faster and down to the last thirty pages. After that I read about plastic bottle cap signs on my phone. I got back and I got my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa textbook in the mail. During Late Night I had two hot dogs, not to mention root beer floats and read about how Dr. King Jr. opposed the Vietnam War partly as it diverted funds needed for the integration of the black community but exploited people in the Third World without benefiting them at all, which the War in Iraq does to the people of Iraq while causing the government to neglect people with autism and others. I also got the idea to use some plastic bottle caps to make signs on our property in Colorado, which is full of trees, and thought that could be done in the Himalayas and other parts of the Third World, where plastic bags thrown away by tourists are a major environmental issue.

The next day I got more of my textbooks in the mail. Then I went the OAS Office and rescheduled my appointment for 9:00 on Tuesday and when I asked Laci, who was working there if she needed me to write down my name and number she said she didn’t because she had it from the schedule on the computer. After that I finished the rest of the reading for my Early American Literature class. 

I felt a little stressed trying to write one whole notebook pages worth of writing for an in-class writing assignment for my that class, only managing to fill most of the page. After my World Archaeology class I saw Laci as I was taking some bottles and cans from the trash can to the recycling bin. I said, “Oh hi, Laci.”

“Hi,” she said smiling, her eyes on a level with mine.

"How are you?"

“Good, how are you?"

"I'm good."

“So, are you going to keep doing the Anthropology Club this year?” I asked.

“Yeah, when I can make it.”

“That’s cool. Are you going to volunteer on Martin Luther King Day?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”

“Yeah, well good to talk to you.”

“Good to talk to you too.” She said smiling.

As I walked to my dorm, I took another photo of some bare trees that I thought would look good for UCM Photo of the Week and sorted some recycling. I got back and I worked on my four pendant lamps. Then I made several more flowers, using the excess straws from some of them to make separator beads for malas. I also took out my trash and recycling and called Jamie to wish him a happy birthday.

I got a text the next morning from Hillary asking me if I could help one of her friends, John, study for his history class. Remembering my trouble with that class and wanting to help, I agreed. During lunch time I saw Oscar, Connor from THRIVE, Mr. B, and a THRIVE volunteer sitting at a table and I sat with them. After that I worked on my handbags, turned some straws into beads, and made another flower. I also ordered Anthills of the Savanah by Chinua Achebe on Amazon for my novel for the book report for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class at the Union computer lab. When I got back to my dorm, I added several flowers to my vase full of them and then went to dinner and read a lot of the reading for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Later I went to my mailbox and found out I got another one of my textbooks. When I got back to my dorm, determined to make my room less full of trash, I resolved to make ten straws into beads each day, twenty on weekends, until the straws in one of my bags were gone. 

The next day I jolted as I realized I had not turned in the map assignment for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class, even though I had finished it. I had breakfast with Alex, Tasha, and another THRIVE student, who I forgot the name of. Then after working on my handbag some more, I felt a little stressed about the work I had to do in a short amount of time, but with that stress I felt more motivation to do what Teresa had said and love someone who will love me the way I deserve to be loved. 

I walked down to Hasting’s later, trying to clear my mind. I saw Philip driving by and he told me he was going to live temporarily in the fraternity complex while he looked for a job and place in Warrensburg, since he is a fraternity member. I walked by Walgreen’s and saw smoke coming from the trash can and went inside to tell an employee, who said he would take care of it. When I got down to Hasting’s where I realized that Tauriel defying Thranduil to go save Kili and getting Legolas to join her makes her a strong woman and a genuine female presence in the story and I got National Geographic’s Beyond Our Galaxy: Exploring Our Universe, issue 85 Winter 2014 issue of Sufi magazine, issue 115 of Circle magazine, the February 2014 issue of Mindful magazine, the January/ February 2014 issue of Poets and Writers, and issue eighty-seven of SciFiNow magazine, which had an article about the second Hobbit movie, and I went to Bi-Lo Mart where I got the February/March 2014 issue of National Geographic Traveler. I picked up several recyclables and things to repurpose on the way back, which overfilled a bag I brought, and struggled to hold onto the rest along with my magazines. I was amazed at how much people litter and don’t recycle. 

I saw Hillary and Philip at the dining hall just as they were about to leave. Then I read in SciFiNow about how the Lake-Town was made to be an obstacle in the movie and how the Master was “greedy and cowardly” sort of like Tolkien described him, and a quote by Martin Freeman who plays Bilbo saying, “A hero who doesn’t self-doubt, or a person who doesn’t self-doubt I think is a lie anyway, and I don’t think lying is ever useful or entertaining to the audience. I think anything in real life that we genuinely call heroism is done by us. A hero is someone who looks like us, who feels like us, who is as stupid as we are and who is as scared as we are.” I read more of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin while I ran on the treadmill. Then I got back and made twenty more flowers. I only turned ten straws into beads, however, and decided to make two more straws into beads from Monday to Friday to make up for it. 

I had always been able to meditation on my own mortality but had cringed at the thought of meditating on that of those I love, especially if she were say someone I dated or loved romantically. However, before I went to sleep, I decided my meditations on death could also focus on the people I love, not just myself, because in doing so I would be able to appreciate having them much more. I read the rest of the reading for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class at breakfast before Tyler called and I talked to him. After that I thought about taking the risk Teresa had asked me and remembered my “Unable/You enable” mantra. I also realized I just needed to be confident when I ask anyone out, even though I had not done it for nearly two years.  I did some laundry later and collected my stuffing as usual to make into paper, similar to the way discarded cloth is often made into paper in India, as many do not believe in cutting down trees, and thought I’d buy a lot of that when I go there as an alternative to traditional paper to save trees.  I ate dinner with Oscar that night and after he left thought to also visit, in addition to India, Turkey, to bear witness to the Armenian Genocide, and also see what other sites the country has to offer. After running on the treadmill, I felt so hungry and went down to a gas station and got some food. After I left, I saw Coke rings and tore them apart. As I walked farther along, I saw an enormous, long-necked goose, who I realized could have choked on those rings, and also was amazed by it, realizing all the different sorts of birds I could see when I travel to Africa, India, and elsewhere after finding a job after college and being able to make the money. I drank my Snapple when I got back, getting another cap, and then worked more on my handbag.

The next morning, I went down to the shopping center in Warrensburg with the barbershop and Hasting’s and got my hair cut, and an issue of SciFi that also featured an article on the Hobbit movie, though it didn’t have any Bilbo courage quotes I could have used. On my way to Walgreen’s to get some supplies I got the idea to cut off the sides of Coke cans and flatten them to make shelves for my toilet paper roll dioramas and replace my old one made from fruit snack boxes and construction paper, which I would keep having buy and take time to add rows and generate a lot of waste from the fruit snack packs. I got to Walgreen’s and bought some toothpaste, shampoo, and Altoids. When I got back, I worked more on my handbags. Later on, I jolted, thinking I had missed the Psychology Club meeting I was supposed to go to, but then realizing it was the next Monday. I called John, Hillary’s friend, who I learned had my same History professor as I did, Dr. Crews, and we agreed for me to find some time for me to help him. Then after finding some cans, worked on my shelf for to toilet paper roll dioramas, cutting my finger in the process, at which I decided to cover them with packing tape. I went down to Crazy Dog’s and got a new bottle cap for my beer and I got the idea to make coasters from Styrofoam for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group door prizes rather than bottle cap magnets, which take a lot of finesse and glue. While running I finished the section of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin we were reading. I also wrote three things I was grateful for in a journal, remembering how I read people who practice gratitude regularly deal with stress better.

I got to my appointment at nine and Barbara and I agreed to get a meeting set up where people could say what times for meetings worked best for them and what activities they would enjoy. I filled out a request form for a room before working more on my shelf. During my World Archaeology class, Dr. Yelton told us that the Anthropology Club met the next day at 6. I got back and finished my shelf before making another flower. Then I ate dinner with Maria, a few other people from my hall, and a UCM student named Antwon, and later we got together at the Rec Center and played some basketball with a few other people on the hall. I turned twelve more straws into beads when I got back and then talked to Tyler on the phone.

 

Winter Break at Home 2013

On my first day of the winter break I got favorable e-mails from the heads of the psychology, social work, and communications department who said they could put the message about peer mentors on Blackboard and their department’s organization websites. I called Hen House and found out they couldn’t put me on the schedule but call me each day that they had a shift available. I told my mom, and she said I ought to go down to the Prairie Village Hen House and tell Phil what was going on and see if I could get some hours at that store, also suggesting it might prompt Phil to call Rick and help him put me down. I realized though that I also probably wouldn’t get many more hours at the Prairie Village Hen House than I would at my own store. I learned the fingering for the Lord of the Rings book CDFGAB by developing a pneumonic that goes Cute Darling Female Gives a Bounty of Hope-which doesn’t exactly follow the pneumonic rules but was catchy to me and just felt right for some reason-and I improved my playing. After that I worked on scrapbooks with covers made from snack wrappers and my bag woven from Hen House produce bags. Then I worked on my bowl made from teabag wrappers and made some rosettes made from teabag wrappers. I tested out my coaster made from receipts on my beer, and it worked perfectly and took a picture to post on Facebook. I also talked to Tyler and agreed we might see the next Hobbit movie tomorrow night.

I talked to Tyler, and we agreed to go see the Hobbit movie that night. Then I finished two tambourines made from bottle caps and helped Mom pack for Colorado. After that I went to see the Hobbit movie with Tyler. I found it to be very action packed compared to the first one, noticing Gandalf getting taken prisoner, and I loved the dragon but was also surprised by the ending, which had a very cliffhanger feeling. Later I realized that I could repaint the letters on that stone with some lacquer paint from the hardware store, realizing I do need to take a risk in loving someone who will love me the way I deserve to be loved. As I was getting into Tyler’s dad’s car, I found a dollar on the ground and took it as a good sign.

The next day I found several more Snapple caps for Tyler. Then I worked on some more bottle cap tambourines, which my mom loved. I also remembered how I promised Teresa I would take a risk loving someone who loves me the way I deserve to be loved and do it even if I get hurt. The next day I grinded up and put leaves in the flower bed for fifteen dollars an hour for three hours. I did some laundry after that. Then I worked on my bottle cap tambourines, flower photo frames for my grandmom and Aunt Laura, which I also decided to make for my mom. Later I also drove to and back from Taco Republic, getting fifteen more minutes of driving and night driving. While we were there, I had some delicious roast chicken tacos, while Dave, an avid Tolkien fan, and I talked about Jackson’s movies, both of us thinking Jackson did a fairly good job of sticking to the story, myself saying that some of the changes simply helped make the movie more cinematic.

“I mean Lurtz wasn’t in the book, but he helps give the Uruk-hai a face.”

My mom shook her head in disbelief.

“Ben, you are just…brilliant!”

We talked about The Hobbit and Bard the Bowman, who Dave said was from the Lake-town of Esgaroth.

“Actually,” I said, “Bard was from Dale.”

“But the Lake-town was part of Dale, wasn’t it?”

“Well, no they were both their own little separate city-states, but the Lake-town becomes part of Dale.”

“Dave, I think Ben’s out-knowledged you on Lord of the Rings,” said my mom nudging Dave in the arm. 

I drove back getting another fifteen minutes of driving. When I got back my granddad called and asked if I would like to help him move things at his church to make some money and I told him I would do that. 

The next day I went to St. Anne’s and did some work for Granddad during which time I realized I could use the broken strap from my old Drawing I notebook to make bottle cap finger cymbals. My granddad paid me twenty-five dollars and then we ate lunch together. When I got back to the house my mom paid me for the work I did the day before. Then I went down into the basement to get some wire from my old journals in one of my boxes and recycle all the paper I didn’t use, and I found in that box my Scythian gold griffin and my Japanese gilded panel. After that I looked at my grades for the semester on my MyCentral account and found out I had gotten all Bs. While I did that, I tore out all the unused paper in my old notebooks from junior college and recycled it. Then I worked on my presents for my mom, grandmom, and Aunt Laura. After that I made my present for my granddad, a pair of finger cymbals made from flattened bottle caps to help him with meditation. I also saw on my Facebook page that Caitlin Samuels had invited me to see Frozen with her. 

The next day I got a new bottle cap from my drink at Better Cheddar and some wood for my tambourines at the hardware store. I got back and finished another tambourine and nearly finished another one. Then I cuddled with Peter thinking of how I would feel warmth doing the same thing with a girl who I loved and loved me the way Teresa talked about. After that I got a call from Hen House saying I’m working from 12-8 on Sunday, 8-4:30 on Monday, and 12-8 on Tuesday. I also went to Winstead’s with Granddad, then Barnes and Noble where I got the January 2014 issue of Shambhala Sun, the January/February 2014 issue of Afar, and a Moleskin Hobbit journal for my travels to India realizing that they may sort of be like Bilbo expanding his own horizons. Then we went to the Pathless Land where I meditated and did the closing. Afterwards I realized Granddad seemed to be telling me all along to keep my mind open to all the possible girlfriends who would come into my life.

               

The next morning Ian called, and we arranged a ride home from the reunion. Then I heard Caitlin say she could see the movie on the 26th. Later I grinded up some more leaves and spread them over the flower beds in the back yard. I drove to the Horizon Academy reunion getting ten more minutes of driving and night driving, while my mom talked to Dave on her cellphone, making me incredibly nervous, but I drove well all the same. She got there and said, “See I wasn’t there to give you instructions and you did fine.”

As I stepped out of the car, a strange feeling was upon me like I had just entered another world. At the reunion I saw several old friends of mine from school: Ian for one, then Matt Gauer. I saw my former high school teacher, Vicki Asher, looking exactly the same as when I saw her years ago. She hugged me and told me that they took the Horizon students to visit UCM.

“And we were all like ‘Where’s Ben? Where’s Ben?’”

I laughed.

After some pizza, Mrs. Kennedy our former school principal took us on a tour of the school. During that time, I heard Matt say that Ian was pursuing a career in some kind of international social work. I saw another familiar face next to me, a girl by the name of Adriana Godsey, with a tall dark young man standing next to her. I learned she was working at KU Medical Center and that the man, her fiancé, had finished school at Pittsburgh University with a degree in broadcasting. I, of course, gave Adriana my sincerest congratulations on her engagement.

We went to the downstairs floor, which had many renovations done to it even since I saw it last year. On the right side of the hall through a door, I saw a room with a dark carpet and a short shiny black stage.

“What is that room?” I asked Mrs. Altman, a teacher who was standing next to me.

“That is our new Blackbox Theater where we have some new drama classes.”

“Really?” I said. “Well, it sounds like it would be a great job, being a drama teacher.”

             “You should come back here and do that some time,” said Mrs. Altman.

“Why I would love that,” I said.

“Well, we have these cards in our reception room, and you could take one and write on the back that you love to come back and do that.”

“Definitely.”

We went back to the reception room, and I did indeed get one of those cards. Then I went with the others into the multipurpose room where there would be a performance of the nutcracker. I saw Sean Swindler there, whose son goes to Horizon. We said hello and I told him about how soon we would need the right paperwork for the peer mentors. He said he would get that to me sometime and would be sure to come down to Warrensburg sometime and help the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group get more members. During the performance I put down on the card what was going on in my life which there was a section for and indeed mentioned my desire to come back and be a drama teacher. 

After the performance we went back into the reception room. I saw my old middle school teacher Bob Fritch. He said to me, “You were always the professorly one I remember.” 

He asked me what I was studying, and I told him my major was in Cultural Studies.

 “Do you think you’ll teach that some day?” I explained to him that I was planning on starting a film making career but sometime after school, in order to support myself, help in archaeological digs and hands-on cultural projects for kids with Down syndrome.

            “Well, you ought to come and teach here,” said Mr. Fritch.

“Well, yeah that would be great. Mrs. Altman said I ought to come back here and be a drama teacher and I thought that would be great.”

“Definitely.”

I later saw another familiar face, a dark-haired girl Jordan. I learned she was at Johnson County Community College and planned to get a degree in Occupational Therapy.

 “That’s cool,” I said.

 “Yeah,” she smiled brightly at me, and I smiled back. Then I met the new intern for my old school counselor, a woman with short blonde hair and a very kind face who said she knew both my dad and my grandmom, the former Dean of Education at the University of Kansas City, Missouri. I saw another old friend Riccardo Rossi, who earlier told me he had planned on being a counselor. I asked him if he still wanted to do that.

“I don’t know, just because it can be kind of stressful.”

“Well, any job can be stressful.”

“That’s true. What do you do about stress?”

“Well, I exercise regularly, have some hobbies, make time for friends…"

“I mean at work?”

“Well, I just take a deep breath and remind myself that there’s no moment to be in other than this one.”

“Yeah,” he said nodding slowly. 

After that I saw Mr. Epstein and got a chance to tell him about school and my blog Ben’s Blog, which he asked if any of the students might find interesting. I told him they might as they or someone they know might be on the spectrum and it deals with college, relationships, and independent living. I then went home with Ian Sneid and another one of my fellow students, Jacob Rasmussen, who told me that another one of my fellow students, Austin Oerkhe, was going to UCM. I got home and told my mom, dad, and granddad about tonight and about how they said I ought to be a drama teacher there and they were all really excited for me. My granddad told me that he also believed I would do a lot for the autism community. Then I worked on my bag woven from Walmart bags and organized my stash of plastic bags to repurpose up in my room. 

I drove to my psychiatrist appointment the next morning, getting ten more minutes of driving, to the post office, getting another ten minutes, to Bruce Smith getting another five minutes, then home, getting another five minutes, and got much better at turning hand-over-hand. I got a call from work asking me if I could come in on an emergency shift and I took it. I drove to work getting another ten minutes of driving. I also got a new Snapple cap on my break. I drove back home getting ten more minutes of driving and night driving. Then I watched the extended version of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey with Mom, Dave, and Brenda while I thought about how Tyler is able to contribute to society even while on disability benefits and remembered a quote Dr. Mayfield told me from Einstein about how everyone is brilliant, and you can’t judge a fish by the standards of animals that climb trees. 

The next day I worked on a basket made from some of my plastic bags. Later I practiced my flute for half an hour, getting the fingering used in my Lord of the Rings flute solo book, getting better at it. Then I worked on making a foil statue of a panda bear. The next day at work I sang every now and then to pass time an old song I heard on King of the Hill:

Blue moon on Kentucky, keep on shining. Shine on the one that’s gone and left me blue.

Blue moon on Kentucky, keep on shining. Shine on the one that’s gone and left me blue.

It turned out my voice was much better than I thought. During lunch I got a new Snapple cap for my collection. While I sang, Angela, one of the cashiers said, “Ben, I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re normally so quiet. I love it!” After I got home, I realized that it was perfectly possible for the right services to be universally provided to autistic people as thirty-three states had already mandated that autism be covered by insurance. 

The next day I went to work, during which time I realized that the orcs pursuing the dwarves in the Hobbit movies is very true to the book as the orcs killed and tortured Thrain in Dol Guldur. I also got three new Nantucket caps for my collection on my breaks and lunch. I went to Abby’s birthday celebration after that. I also read that the orcs did march towards Erebor in the second Hobbit movie like I thought. I realized that the Kili and Tauriel romance really did help show the tension between the elves and dwarves in Middle Earth. I also read on lotr.wikia.com (Lord of the Rings Wikia) that during the War of Dwarves and Orcs, Azog tried to claim all the mansions of Durin as his own and many of the orcs fled to the High Pass near Rivendell so the orc chase in the first Hobbit movie kind of made sense. I told Dave this and he said, “Yeah…” sounding somewhat impressed.       

On Christmas day, not having anything for Jamie, Cam, Abby, and Eric, realized I could just give them all five dollars, which would easily make in tips in that day’s work. I drove to work doing well with speed and hand-over-hand turning even though Mom was on the phone, getting ten more minutes of driving. I also got a new Nantucket cap on my break. After I got home, I finished my picture frames made from bottle caps. Then I had Christmas Eve dinner with Jamie, Cam, Graham, my mom, and Dave. I also completed some more of the challenges in my book The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Activity Book. 

I gave Jamie, Cam, Graham, my mom, and Dave, their presents and they all loved them. I got a December 2013 issue of Wired magazine with a cover article on Bill Gates and Bill Clinton and using technology to help the Third World, mouthwash, gum, chocolate, a paint tube shaped pin from the Indianapolis Museum of Art, a craft knife, Stamp Collecting for Dummies, Postal Service Guide to 2013 Stamps 40th Edition, The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, and a monk dashboard figurine for when I get my driver’s license from my mom and Dave. I also told Dave how I thought the expansion of Arwen’s role in The Lord of the Rings movie and Tauriel in The Hobbit films would have been supported by Tolkien because he meant to give females a greater role in the story, which is why he added Eowyn, and Dave agreed. On the way to my grandparent’s house, I got more of a feeling for American culture from the Postal Service Guide. I gave my dad, my granddad, my grandmom, Uncle Todd, Aunt Laura, Abby, and Eric their presents and they all loved them. I got a Tibetan victory banner and a Lego Architecture Big Ben set from Uncle Todd, Aunt Laura, Abby, and Eric, a $100 debit card and a shirt with a Chinese peace sign from Grandmom and Granddad, and a bird whistle, wooden Indian block printing textile stamp, Beer Crafts: Making the Most of Your Cans, Bottle Caps, and Labels, and Lonely Planet books on Tibet, Bhutan, and Mongolia from my dad. I learned some more of what I wanted to do in Tibet, Bhutan, and Mongolia from my travel books. I also realized that I could draw attention away from autism organizations that spend more on their executives than services for people with autism when I tell people what I’ve done as a person with autism. I went on the annual Christmas walk with Jamie, Cam, Dad, Granddad, Uncle Todd, Aunt Laura Abby, and Eric where I took several great pictures and walked to the edge of the forest with Uncle Todd and Aunt Laura. I got back and built the Lego Big Ben set. I ate dinner with Jamie, Cam, Abby, and Eric afterwards. Then I learned more of how my travel plans to Tibet, Bhutan, and Mongolia will go. I later realized that Azog being resurrected by Sauron and Bolg working as an interrogator at Dol Guldur makes sense because Gandalf came to Erebor with the news that the orcs led by Bolg were coming to attack after being in Dol Guldur, that the orc pursuit made sense because of Thrain having one of the dwarf rings, so therefore the orcs being hunted down by Legolas and Tauriel and the romance between Tauriel and Kili made since, and that the third Hobbit movie might open up with Gandalf talking to Thrain in Dol Guldur. When I got back, I talked to Tyler, and I told Dave how I thought the third Hobbit movie might open up with Gandalf meeting Thrain in Dol Guldur and he said he heard that would happen. I also saw that Caitlin had messaged me on Facebook asking if I could go see Frozen tomorrow. Since my brothers, dad, grandmom, aunt, uncle, and cousins were all planning on us going to see a movie that day I asked her if she was available the day after that.

The next day I told Caitlin through Facebook messaging that I could meet her anytime between 12-6 tomorrow and asked her to name a time and place. Then I got to my grandparent’s house before my dad, Jamie, Cam, grandmom, Uncle Todd, Aunt Laura, Abby, Eric, and I went to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. I realized that my popcorn bag had a poster of the movie and decided to frame it, and after the movie was over to make the other’s bags into beads. During the movie I watched the movie, during which time I realized the way Peter Jackson told the conflict of the Elves and the Dwarves as being over jewels was true to the story as those jewels were what the Mirkwood elves besieged Erebor over before the Battle of Five Armies, that I am able to be valuable to a lot of people, not just with autism, for what I do for autistic people, as many have autistic loved ones and prejudice, stigma, and discrimination are self-destructive. Soon after it was over, I got the idea to make some robots out of cigarette boxes I collected for Tyler to play with, one representing the ego, another representing the id, and the other the super ego, to help teach him self-restraint. I got back and as I saw Dave with some new ice cream, I decided to eat it less nights to cut down on human waste, and I recycled all the cigarette boxes I collected except for some for beads and Tyler's robots. Then I found Caitlin said she could meet tomorrow at 10:45 at Town Center, and I said I’d meet her there. After that I gave Mom two bottle cap tambourines to give to Kyley and Hunter for Christmas and finished one for myself. I put my cousin's up on the top of a cabinet so Wally wouldn’t chew on them. 

                The next morning before I went to sleep, I realized how even though people have said that Gandhian economics wouldn’t have allowed India to become an economic superstar, it seems India’s real glory is the rich becoming richer while the poor become poorer, unlike Bhutan’s gross national happiness. After my meditation, showering, and breakfast, I drove to Town Center afterwards getting twenty more minutes of driving. Then I saw the movie with Caitlin at the movie. When it was over, we both seemed to have really liked it.  After the movie, Caitlin and I ate lunch at Panera and learned more about each other. After she gave me a ride home, I found my stone Teresa gave me. Then went to Bruce Smith where I got the December 2013 issue of National Geographic, the December 2013/January 2014 issue of Archaeology magazine, Sacred Places of the Ancient World from the editors of Archaeology magazine, and Mandela: His Life in Pictures: 1918-2013 and my medication. I then traded in a bunch of ones and quarters for fives. I also decided to take my World Archaeology tests in the Testing Center next semester. I ate dinner with the Wendland’s during which I heard Cam talk about his dorm life, with his building being largely Asian, and my mom suggested that the Chinese send their kids to America to be educated to meet the Chinese girls Americans have adopted and that their government probably became so corrupt because they were short of money. I got back and packed up for the trip to Colorado tomorrow. I also decided I would take my Early American Literature tests in the Testing Center as well.