Asperger Syndrome and Love

    

On the morning fo the football game I ate breakfast with John, as well as another UCM student, also named John. Then I found another pebble out in the Ellis courtyard. Then Tyler arrived, along with his mom, and his grandfather with Alzheimer’s, who looked very confused. We went to the THRIVE reunion barbecue where I saw Hillary, Mr. B, Mrs. Fahrmeier, Dr. Mayfield, and Julie. At the reception, Tyler struggled to help his grandfather into his coat, and I said, “Tyler do you want me to help with that?” I helped him grandfather get his arm through his sleeve and then something incredible happened: he smiled and held out his hand for me to shake, which I did. I suddenly realized what it must be like for my brother Jamie, working and interning at a senior center for people with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Then Hillary, Tyler, and I went to watch the football game up in the presidential box where we had been invited for the reunion. I also read a story about a college couple on, the two of them with Asperger syndrome, who lived together in an apartment at the University of Massachusetts and found a way to compensate for their condition to be together. It began when Kirsten Lindsmith met a guy named Jack Robison. Kirsten had been misdiagnosed with ADHD and never had heard of autism. Her boyfriend at the time was a high school socialite who had a way of always correcting her social behaviors, such as speaking in monotone, scooping up the food she dropped on the floor at restaurants, and speaking for long minutes to her boyfriend’s friends about her interest in animal physiology. Kirsten went through years of social rejection, making her so eager to please, and thus prone to manipulation by others. Then at UMass Kirsten met Jack at a café as he, a man with an intense interest in chemistry, did some testing of explosives in the woods, which he filmed for YouTube, upsetting people from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, for Jack didn’t realize that setting off explosives in the woods may not necessarily be seen by the ATF as ambitious chemistry experiments.

 

Jack was cleared of all charges and recruited by the UMass Chemistry director, who was impressed by his home-built chemistry lab. Jack moreover was the son of John Elder Robison, the author of the book, Don’t Look Me in the Eye, about being diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at the age of thirty-nine. His father regularly wondered could someone with Asperger syndrome find love? I knew I had gotten the support in my childhood that allowed me to be very social and good at reading non-verbal cues and social perceptions and have the same quality of life as others, but that didn’t mean I never feared how others would perceive my own differences.

Kirsten met Jack between classes and he felt a strong sense of love for her but unable to tell from her non-verbal expressions what she felt, and one day simply e-mailed her telling her his feelings flat out. Kirsten told her boyfriend about it and that she felt she had found her soul mate. Jack and Kirsten grew closer and lived together in an apartment at UMass, but faced some difficulties, such as Jack’s lack of understanding of human touch in relationship that nearly brought Kirsten to a nervous meltdown. Yet through seeing a relationship counselor, they devised a plan for them to get a housecat, which they could pet and use that as a way to demonstrate how she wanted to be caressed. Afterwards their relationship continued to flourish, and they ended up contributing to Wrong Planet, so it seemed for Jack’s father, the answer to his question was yes, people with Asperger syndrome can indeed find love. I finished reading the story feeling very deeply and personally affected by it. Love, I’ve heard over and over, comes when you least expect it. I imagined over the summer before I dated Emily and after that, that I would meet at the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group, yet my Granddad would say, “Maybe you will meet someone in one of your classes.” I remembered last year though how Teresa gave me a stone on our last Person-Centered Planning meeting that said “Risk,” asking me to love someone who will love me the way I deserved to be loved, which she said I did deserve. 

After I got back, I saw I was getting a call which turned out to be from my mom and I answered it. She said, (she and Dave being in Colorado) that our pet sitter Nick went into the sunroom and found my fourteen year old cat, Polly lying on the floor, dead. I froze and after I hung up, Tyler’s mom put her arm around me. I suddenly felt strange; Polly had been with me for fourteen years of my life. 
                Tyler and his mom left and I called my friend Erin, who gave me her condolences for Polly. I talked to my dad who told me his and Sherry’s old cat Buddy Girl, also died recently. Then I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal, though still with a residual shock over Polly. I still hadn’t eaten, and it was fifteen minutes until my exercise time, the closest restaurant being Chic Filet, which I didn’t want to eat at due to its owner’s stance on gay marriage, while there was also Crazy Dog’s which would make me late for my exercise, which I needed in light of Polly’s death. In the end, I went down to the food court shop and bought some beef jerky for dinner, so I would at least have some energy for the treadmill. After I got back I talked to Jamie, who had heard about Polly and gave me his condolences. He also said I was right about how it felt when I helped Tyler’s grandfather. I also made another mala from straws and finished a bicycle streamer made from snack wrappers. I decided to save my meditation journal entry for today for the next day and make that day’s and today’s entry one entry dedicated to Polly. Yet I felt a strange sense of joy realizing what she was to me. 

On Sunday I saw a trailor for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug before I went to bed. After I got up and did my meditation, I worked on my travel plans to Kenya. I also talked to Tyler some more.  I learned about the ruins of Thimlich Ohinga in my Lonely Planet Kenya book, which were said to bear great resemblance to Great Zimbabwe, and felt excited for my Modern Sub-Saharan Africa class. Later Kyley came into my room and said she really liked the Autistic Pride pencil cups made from Pringles cans. After that I reorganized some of my recyclables and worked on some earrings made from bread bag tops. Then I went down to the library, got on a computer and posted on Facebook a eulogy for Polly:

R.I.P Polly Edwards. I knew you since you were a kitten when I got you for my tenth birthday. You were there for all of middle school, high school, learning to drive, two colleges, starting two student group, four relationships, two houses I lived in, and much more. I will remember you always.

Later I found Hillary and Alex Habib put their condolences by the remark and I thanked them for it. Afterwards I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. I got back to my dorm and did my laundry. Later I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal. Of, course I also made the day’s meditation journal, about today and the day before that, something I dedicated to Polly. 

I later ate dinner with Logan and another THRIVE student, the former, especially, seeming happy to see me. After I got back from the Rec Center I made another mala from straws and talked to Tyler while I worked on my yarn painting of Hank Hill. 

 

In my next Drawing I class I learned more about accenting the lines on charcoal drawings. I later got some more super glue at the Union bookstore, getting another dime for my collection from my change. I found out later that my World Masterpieces so after sorting some recycling I got back to my dorm and worked on my foil sculptures of the Buddha and Thomas Jefferson while I talked to Tyler. Then I got finished with my Algebra homework for the day. Afterwards I worked some more on Hank Hill and Maja Toudal. 

The next day I made two more roses from straws and worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers. After my North American Indian class I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group meeting, which Tom and Dr. Mayfield came too and we decided on a Bowling Night the next week. I talked to Tyler some more while making some “plarn” (yarn made from loops cut out from plastic bags). After running on the treadmill I made another mala from straws. I also showed my mom my snack wrapper collage and she loved it. 

I sat with some THRIVE students at lunch the next day. Then I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After that I got one hundred percent on my Algebra quiz. I then e-mailed all the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group members about the bowling night next week and the movie night. Later I talked to Tyler for a bit. Then I found a way to repurpose some of the plastic bottle caps in my pile by turning blue ones into Earth Day magnets, white ones into snowman magnets, and brown ones into Thanksgiving turkey magnets. 

The next day in my Algebra class I got 82.65% on my Algebra test and half way through the study guide. Then I posted on my Aunt Laura’s Facebook page thanking her, my uncle, and cousins for the birthday presents. Later at my North American Indian class I found out I got twenty-seven out of thirty points on the oral presentation and eighteen out of twenty points on the written part. I also started realizing how the more we learn about different cultures, the more we see how people can adapt to all different kinds of environments, like the harsh deserts of northern Kenya, or the Danakil Desert of Ethiopia and Eritrea. On my way back to the dorm, I got a picture of the Rec Center wall behind a tree and it was glowing yellow in the setting sun and I thought I’d submit it to UCM Photos of the Week contest. Later I made three more stamps from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam, and I decided that instead of making signs with my bottle cap collection, I would make a wall fish, which would take up less space. Later I went to Max’s, the UCM drug-sniffing dog, retirement party. I also talked to Tyler while I made another mala from straws. I also told my Granddad about my photo and my idea to submit it to UCM Photos of the Week and he thought that was a great idea.

The next day at breakfast I sat with Oscar and Tom, inviting Oscar to join in the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group movie night and he accepted. I also thought about the great works of art indigenous peoples have done and realized it shows their lives are not all about struggling for survival. I went to the movie, though no one ended up coming, though Oscar did text me saying he had a lot of studying to do and couldn’t come. I did notice how the planet the movie took place on almost looked like Tibet, and thought if the Chinese wanted to wipe out the natives through intermarriages, forced sterilizations, and assimilation, they’d need to find someone else to do all the menial work. I didn’t end up staying as I really had to use the bathroom and no one was there. Afterwards I would have gone to the Print Club but I was far too tired and needed a break. I talked to my granddad when I got back and he said that what the group may need is better advertising. Later I worked on my bag woven from bags and some plarn while I ran on the treadmill. I got back and talked to my dad who telling him about the movie night and he thought that people might not be showing up because there’s no one there for them to meet and we could start by getting a core group of THRIVE students to come. I liked this idea and decided to try and work it out. Afterwards I worked on my plastic bottle cap Green Man. 

The next morning I worked on my travel plans to Tanzania after breakfast. Then I sorted some recycling, during which time I found another bottle cap for my collection. I took out my own recycling and as I did I found my prescription from Dr. Mays. I found another pebble, and then I worked on my streamers and collages made from snack wrappers. I went to Those Were the Days and got some more embroidery floss for my malas and yarn paintings. Later I went to Walgreen’s and got some beef jerky, Hershey’s minibars, and Altoids. On my way I got a picture of a full moon over Ellis behind some clouds in a pitch black sky. Then I got back and talked to my granddad who suggested I tell the THRIVE students about the group in study hall or one of their classes. I read the reading for my World Masterpieces class while I was on the treadmill Notes From the Underground, which I thought was really good.  Then I made another mala from straws.

The next day I tried to submit my first photo but I couldn’t figure out this address I needed to type in to send it. Never-the-less, I still decided to take photos like that. I e-mailed Mr. B asking if I could come speak to one of his classes about the group. Then I ordered myself a sheet music book called The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Flute Solos and a Lonely Planet book on Mozambique. Then  I went to Hasting’s and got the Winter 2013 issue of Tricycle magazine, National Geographic’s Best City Weekends: Unforgettable Itineraries, Local Neighborhoods, 30 Insider Tips, the November/December 2013 issue of Native magazine, the Holiday 2013 issue of Woodcarving Illustrated, and the Winter 2013 issue of Do It Yourself magazine. I also recycled and sorted some bottles and cans I found along the way and when I got back. Then I made a pinwheel from a Kool-Aid pack. I also made twenty more flowers from straws. I read more of Notes From the Underground while I ran on the treadmill. I got back and did my laundry. Then I talked to Tyler for quite a while I made another mandala from straws. I also sent my mom the prescription numbers for my medications so she could refill them at home.

The next day I got three out of five questions right on a quiz for my World Masterpieces class, though I also got a bonus question right. Then I tried to get done my Algebra homework but again found myself to spaced out to concentrate that it took me a while to do several problems I normally knew how to do. I took a break during which I got the idea that while I didn’t have sixty milligrams of Vyvanse I was supposed to take I did have two thirty milligram pills, which I could take two of but decided to check with my dad who would know whether that would work. It turned out I wouldn’t be able to finish all the homework that night either however as I felt so exhausted from hearing about Tyler’s endless problems. I did talk to my dad though who said that two thirty milligram pills would be a good idea, though he also mentioned it didn’t work that way with every medication, for example, not all pills would have half the effect if you cut them in half. After that I made another bottle cap necklace for myself with a calligraphic piece by Thich Nhat Hanh printed on computer paper saying, “Peace is Every Step.” I decided I’d give my original necklace to Tyler, who might lose it, but giving it to him would still mean a lot to him. I also made seven more flowers from straws.

The next day I got a lot of the way done with yesterday’s assignment for my Algebra class during class time. Then I got back and worked on my second handbag made from snack wrappers, deciding to add one wrapper’s worth of links to it a day. Then after lunch I worked some more on my Algebra assignment before I had to go to my North American Indian class. After that I went to the Bowling Night where Tom came and we both excelled at the game, perhaps due to taking a Beginning Bowling class through the THRIVE program. Then I finished my Algebra homework and got a 95.12%. I got back and worked on my Thomas Jefferson bust while I talked to Tyler some more. After I finished running on the treadmill, I got the idea that maybe I would like, after I finished school and was waiting for my film career to take off, to work in helping with archaeological digs and hands-on cultural projects with kids with Down syndrome. I also got the idea to make an Inuit sorcerer figure from some of my plastic bottle caps. I talked to my dad who really liked the archaeological digging idea. I started working on my sorcerer figure and then took out my trash.

The next day in my Drawing I class I learned more about using different values to create contrast in an object. Then while I was at lunch Mr. B saw me and came over to my table telling me that, while he did not normally use class time for groups to talk about themselves, I could tell of my group to the THRIVE student organization and contact Ryan, who is their president. Later I went to my World Masterpieces class and got three out of five on the quiz. I got back and worked some more on my foil Thomas Jefferson bust. Later I made another toilet paper roll diorama of Erdene Zuu monastery in Mongolia. I also talked to my grandmom, who said she head from my mom that Sean Swindler would be coming down to UCM to check out the THRIVE program and help the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group get more members. Then I worked on my Inuit sorcerer figure and then saw Abduction with some people from my hall. Then I worked on my bag woven from bags and my second handbag made from snack wrappers. I also talked to Tyler while I made another trellis square from bottle rings and twist-ties, and decided it was time to say goodbye when I finished. 

The net morning before I went to bed, I read in National Geographic about a Nigerian terrorist group called Boko Haram, who many Nigerians were so afraid of that they didn’t even say their name. I thought that sounded kind of like Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter, and then I realized that’s how I used to react whenever someone said the words “Asperger syndrome” or “autism.” After I woke up, did my meditation, and had breakfast, I went to my Algebra class where I passed the quiz. Then I did my daily work on my handbag made from snack wrappers. During my North American class, we watched a video on the controversy surrounding Native American mascots, which provoked such strong reactions from the people in class. As I saw it, a small part of me thought “that is the nature of prejudice and when I find love it will need to be with someone on the spectrum, who can understand the autistic struggle,” temporarily took hold of me like it never had before. As I thought this, Laci, who was sitting next to me, looked as though she’d just been told she was laid off a job. Suddenly, I thought perhaps I was wrong to think that, and that maybe that thinking is what has held back people with autism for so long. Really, I was just divided in two from years of prejudice and discrimination, the former which still has not stopped for me.

I worked on some streamers, scrapbook covers, and collages made from snack wrappers when I got back. I also visited the UCM art gallery where I got started on my gallery trip paper for my Drawing I class, critiquing an intaglio print. Later I ate dinner with Josh, Mary, Oscar, and Levi, and two other THRIVE students. Then I took out my trash and made three more stamps from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam and an earth magnet to hang on my fridge. After running on the treadmill, I went to the Turkey Bowl with Hillary, Phillip, Mardy, and Ryan. I thought how it is often believed that people with autism don’t want relationships, or don’t care for the physical aspects of it, but I think it’s really that they don’t understand the social aspect to it. But I felt quite bad about my own ablest thoughts in my North American Indian class, especially seeing many of the people I had seen that day did not deserve to be tarred that way, which was no fairer than being denied access to society for their disability. I thought I did need to be more open in love, very uncertain of how it would turn out.

Needing to Set Boundaries

As November arrived, I finally had my second exam in my World Masterpieces class, and I thought I did pretty well on it. As I nearly finished, I heard myself getting a text, which, sure enough, turned out to be from Tyler, saying it, was an emergency. I called and found out a family friend of his had died and he said it was things like that which wanted to make him keep his family and friends alive. I told him he couldn’t hold onto them forever though and should enjoy them while they were there. I also realized this desire he had must have been somewhat caused by the death of Jennifer Johnston. A little after I got back, I worked some more on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal. Then I went to the Print Club where I gave Mark the necklace to sell at our booth at Those Were the Days. He seemed to really like it. Then I made ten of my own cards. After that I went to Experience Africa and saw a Congolese dance, for which the dancer had other people get up on the stage and dance with him, of which I joined in despite people videotaping it probably to put it on YouTube, a group of female dancers, a pianist playing three African national anthems, a poetry reading, and a fashion show with costumes from various nations. All the people came back on stage after they were done to do other performances. After all that was over, I got some dinner at Planet Sub. I showed my dad my collage and prints and he really loved them. Then I worked on my foil bust of Thomas Jefferson, deciding to make it big so it could be seen from a mantle. After that I read ten more pages of Cahokia. I also sorted some recycling throughout Ellis. Then I worked on my Green Man made from plastic bottle caps. The next morning before I went to bed, I read about how many people with Asperger syndrome will retreat to their “special interests” as it gives them comfort, realizing perhaps why some group members never showed up to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group. Contrary to popular belief, the interests of people with Asperger syndrome are not as strange and limited as believed, but often are all they talk about in social spheres as their lack of social skills doesn’t enable them to do much else, and they see things differently, as their perceptions and brains are simply wired that way.

After breakfast and my meditation, I sorted some recycling. Then I went down to the Union and again studied for two fifty-minute study blocks for my North American Indian class, with a ten-minute break in between to use the bathroom and get a drink of water. I thought later about how The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug would go and thought it might end with the orcs mobilizing to invade Erebor, giving it the perfect cliffhanger ending. I got back and worked on my yarn painting of Hank Hill. I also read eleven more pages of Cahokia while on the treadmill. I got back to Ellis and sorted some more recycling. Back in my dorm I worked on a new handbag made from snack wrappers. Later I took out my trash. Then I worked on my block printing stamps made from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. I also talked to Tyler some more.

 

 

Before I went to bed the next morning, I worked on my trellises made from bottle rings and twist-ties and my Buddha sculpture made from foil. I went to bed and dreamt that I led an army of two hundred Chittagong tribespeople from eastern Bangladesh to victory against the Bengali army of one million that was colonizing their land. I thought the dream may have been referring to how as an autism advocate, I can feel overwhelmed by the numbers of people who resist change for whatever reason, yet I don’t need to be. While I was at breakfast, I worked on my travel plans to Kenya. Later I sent out personal invitations to all the members of the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group. I studied for my North American Indian class again for two fifty-minute study blocks, with a ten-minute break in between, during which I read about DIY projects and how they are popular among college and graduate students and often associated with fashion, printmaking and decorating. After I got done studying for my North American Indian class, I finished my World Masterpieces take-home exam and submitted it to SafeAssign. When I got back, I learned from a website on my phone about contemplative collage making, where you discover things about your subject in the process of portraying it. Then I ate dinner with Aaron, Kyley, John, Thad, and two other UCM students. Later I learned about how contemplative arts are arts done with mindful intent on my phone and also about keeping a journal or sketchbook for pictures of inspirations to do these arts. Then I sorted some recycling again. I worked some more on my bag woven from Walmart bags. After that I took a short nap to recover my strength, tired from helping Tyler sort out his issues with everything else. As fifteen minutes did not do it, I decided to give myself another fifteen minutes, then another thirty, realizing that Tyler has helped me learn to be kind to myself and if education and health care professionals worked more with people like him, they might learn to as well and be more productive, thus saving us money to train them to be so, rather than a financial burden.  Later I ran on the treadmill while reading ten more pages of Cahokia. When I got back, I talked to my granddad, who agreed that my dream the last night lay have been telling me not to feel overwhelmed by numbers when trying to bring change for the autism community. After that I sorted more recycling.  Then I worked some more on my stamps made from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. Of course, I also talked to Tyler.

During my next Drawing I class, I learned to extend shade lines across an object to create more of a feeling of unity. I also found out I got two hundred seventy points out of three hundred on my portfolio. Later I worked on my Algebra homework for which I soon found I needed some help with at the Student Success Center. On my way there I sorted some recycling and found another Snapple cap for my collection. After waiting for someone to come at the Success Center, I got the help I needed. While I was there, I did check out Lonely Planet books on Mongolia and Western Europe. Yet when I got back to my Algebra homework, despite having gotten help, I found myself unable to concentrate that well, taking quite a while to get done one problem, yet feeling I had to get this assignment done on-time, even though there was only a ten percent reduction on each problem for each day it was late. I took a homework break afterwards and got back to the assignment. Then Tyler texted me and I called him back saying I was losing a lot of energy listening to his worries all the time and I couldn’t call him that night because I was so behind on my Algebra homework. As a girl working at the Union computer lab announced that they would be closing in fifteen minutes, I decided to just try and finish the work the next day. Suddenly I realized how exhausted girls with autism could get. I talked to my mom who agreed to bring some vyvanse, money from my account at home, as I had none left at school, and clean clothes, which I had run out of. Then I wrote in my gratitude journal, knowing how gratitude is an effective relief against stress. I also managed to still read ten pages of Cahokia.

The next day I finished the Algebra assignment and got 99.29% and found out the net assignment, the practice quiz, wasn’t sue until the next day. I also finished my study guide. When I got back, I had a nice lie down. Then I called Tyler and told him no hard feelings for what I said last night and that I am always willing to help him because he is my friend. Then my mom arrived with my medicine, clothes, and money. She met Connor and commented to him on all the bags of trash I had to repurpose by Connor said he thought it was cool what I made from it. I went to my North American Indian class afterwards where I took the exam, and I thought I did pretty well on it. During that time, I also started to understand Cahokia a little better. Afterwards I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group Bingo Night, to which Tom and Dr. Mayfield came to. Dr. Mayfield brought some prizes from the UCM bookstore, among them were pens, UCM lapels, and a notepad with paper made from elephant droppings. Tom won the first two games and he and picked out some pens. He and I tied on the last game, and he chose a lapel while I picked out the notepad. Afterwards I talked to Dr. Mayfield about what I realized about girls with autism becoming so exhausted from trying to blend in and being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, AD/HD, OCD, and other conditions and she knew what I meant. Then I found out the money Mom sent had come that day and I bought some super glue and a sketchbook to replace my missing one. After that I ate dinner with Mary, Levi, two of Levi’s friends, and another first-year THRIVE student whose name I did not know, while I made three more stamps from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. Later I worked some more on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal. I ran on the treadmill and finished Cahokia, which I felt I understood and had some idea of how to write my book report on it. I got back and I worked on my bag woven from bags some more. I showed my dad my Green Man and he liked it a lot. Later I talked to Tyler some more while I made a Buddhist mala from straws, trying to cut down on my pile of straws by making one a day. I also realized that if people at the group felt they could be themselves at the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group, they may not be plagued so much by fatigue trying to blend in with the group, and maybe we ought to see movies together on campus, so people wouldn’t have to worry about blending in.

The next day in my Drawing I class I learned how to hold my pencil better and to make the dark spaces in the front of my subject darker, so my light spaces don’t stand out so much. I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class afterwards. During that class I took a quiz, though I only got two out of five questions right. However, after that I got one hundred percent on my Algebra practice quiz. After that I tried making Celtic crosses from wire. I realized it’s good that the Print Club’s booth at Those Were the Days, Print Reign Supreme, would sell things besides prints, because printmakers need to do other kinds of work as well. I went to Print Reign Supreme and saw that my necklace and cards seemed to have already been sold. Then I got some more embroidery floss. When I got back, I worked some more on my yarn painting of Gandhi. While I was at dinner, Esther, the woman who swiped cards, complimented my bottle cap necklace I was wearing. Later I worked some more on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal. Later that night I showed my dad my mala, yarn painting, and collage, all of which he really liked. After that I ate at Late Night with Connor, Mckenzie, Kyley, Thad, and another UCM student. Afterwards I made another mala and talked to Tyler while I made another rose from straws.

 

                The next day during my Algebra class, I got one hundred percent on the quiz, got back my study guide with five out of five points, and got over halfway through with the review. As I sorted some recycling after class I found a bottle to make into a vase for some painted pebbles and worked on it when I got back. I went to my North American Indian class in a Hawaiian shirt where we did our role-playing exercise, which I found I and several others learned a lot from. I loved the comment one persona made to another, who believed aliens had to have taught the Native Americans what they knew as they had to get it from somewhere, saying, “That sounds like a pretty raw deal. They have space flight, and they give us atlatls.” After class and sorting the recycling, I ran into Dr. Mayfield while going to the Union bookstore to get some new scissors, board, and red construction paper there, planning on making a travel altar box, and staples. She said she knew a guy with autism who she told about me comment about social exhaustion and could relate to that completely and I told her about the movie night idea and she liked it. After that I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting. Then I went to Crazy Dog’s where I got another Snapple cap from my drink. When I got back I made another mala from straws. I made another rose from straws after running on the treadmill. Then I talked to Tyler while making another square for a trellis made from bottle rings and twist-ties, deciding that when I finished it, I would say goodbye. 

 

               The next day in my Drawing I class I learned how to do charcoal drawing. Later I read more of the reading for my World Masterpieces class, though I again got two out of five on the quiz that day. After that I told the group members about the next meeting. Then I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi and my toilet paper roll wall art. I made another mala from straws afterwards, which I showed my dad, along with my yarn painting and he liked them both. I also talked to Tyler until I finished another trellis square.

 

 

 

 

Lessons in Autism

 On Monday after I got back I worked on my drawing for my Drawing I class some more. During that class we sat and discussed each person’s drawing and when mine was discussed I got a lot of positive comments as well as some good suggestions. I also thought of my bird woodcarving and decided to make my bird the Eastern Bluebird, the state bird of Missouri, where I had all these adventures. Before class got out, I agreed to pay five dollars for gas to Emily in that class, who I was getting a ride with to or field trip to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. After class, I went down to the Union and took down the poster board for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.

        When I got back to Ellis, I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During that class I got a five out of five on the quiz. After class and sorting some recycling, I did my Algebra homework. Then I got some more board for my snack wrapper collages at the Union bookstore. When I got back to the dorm and worked on blocking out the colors for them.
        I later finished my abstract for my North American Indian class but I accidentally forgot to save it. However I knew everything I said on it so I could retype it. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class on the treadmill. Afterwards I got back and talked to Tyler. I also realized I had one more day than I thought I did to go get something from Those Were the Days to make something for the Print Club.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got one hundred percent on the quiz. After I got back to my dorm I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes and then I reorganized my recyclables. After that I finished the reading for my North American Indian class. After my North American Indian class I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group.
        Only Tom and Matt showed up to the group. We didn’t really do introductions, go over our rules, or pair up two people and take four minutes to get to know three things about the other person as we already knew each other and I suggested two ideas for or next meeting: getting together at a coffee shop, or a music night where we each picked a song that we secretly wrote down on a piece of paper, played it, and everyone would then try to get who picked the song. No one really seemed to care to much either way so they just agreed to have a music night. Tom and Matt left early but I stayed behind until 4:30 to see if anyone showed up to ask about the meeting, which they didn’t. While I did I read on my phone an article talking about how many people with bipolar disorder withdraw from social relationships and I thought perhaps women with autism are often undiagnosed with the condition as autistic traits can overlap with traits of other conditions they may have, such as bipolar disorder or ADHD. I also thought that it may have taken the Buddhist saint Padmasambhava years to subdue the wrathful demons of Tibet to help bring Buddhism to the country.
        I got back to my dorm later and made twenty more flowers from straws. Later I talked to my Granddad and he told me to have some patience with starting the group. Later on I worked on my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal some more and I thought it was becoming very satisfying. I also talked to my Granddad some more later on and told him about how I thought my snack wrapper collage of Maja Toudal was coming along great and how I thought all my collages would look very realistic and he said if anyone could make it look like a professional, I could and said that looking at my scrapbooks he couldn’t tell the covers were made from Cheetos wrappers. I talked to Tyler some more after that telling him I would talk to him for twenty minutes then had to go because there was other things I had to do but when he started getting upset over his breakup I agreed to talk to him for five more minutes.
        The next day in my Drawing I class we learned about how to shade a drawing and also how to make lines better. I thought while learning this that I might really enjoy woodburning with all I learned in the class. After my Drawing I class I read most of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Then I went to that class and found out I got 81% on the exam. On my way to Those Were the Days I found three new bottle caps for my collection and I went to the store and got a jar full of Bubble Up bottle caps with bent edges and insides lined with cork thinking I could make something from them for the Print Club and I remembered how I once read that collections can often stem from memories of or past. I also got a postcard of Craters of the Moon National Park, which I would try and frame and hang on a wall as rock formations kind of have a spiritual feeling for me. After I got back to UCM I took a walk around campus and found another bottle cap for my collection. I also realized just how big this campus really was.
        When I got back I read about how girls with Asperger syndrome will often try to blend in with others and get very exhausted from doing it, and also causing them to go undiagnosed and their apparently unknown fits of exhaustion cold cause them to be misdiagnose as bipolar. During dinner I realized I could make a necklace from one of the bottle caps I got at Those Were the Days, using the knife my dad got me. I also figured out how to shorten my North American Indian abstract to make it two hundred fifty words or less and learned on-line how to put a word count on my paper. While I ran on the treadmill I found the perfect image for my bottle cap necklace: calligraphy done by the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh saying, “Peace within oneself, peace within the world,” inside a Zen brush painted circle. I got back and I took strips of board leftover from the sheets I cut out for my collages to make a yarn painting. I talked to my dad, a professional PhD psychologist, who agreed that coexisting conditions may make it harder for girls with autism to get the diagnosis. I also talked to Tyler, who didn’t talk so much about his break up this time. However that night I did not get any sleep at all.

        The next morning I found I couldn’t find the sheet I had for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group with the list of times and places for or meetings so I e-mailed Presley Wehrle from the Office of Student Activities asking for her to resend it. I later went to my Algebra class and got back a four out of five on my study guide though partly because of a grading error and I showed it to the instructor and got back a five out of five. I also got one hundred percent on the quiz. I also read an article on Wrong Planet about how many people told their friends they had Asperger syndrome and it caused those friends to stop being friends with them.
        Later on I finished my abstract. During my North American Indian class, when I was ready to take a nap afterwards from exhaustion, the instructor told us about Saudi Arabia Day in that library at 3:30Shortly after my North American Indian class I went to Saudi Arabia Day where there was an exhibition in the museum of traditional Saudi arts and handicrafts and I stepped out of my finicky eating habits and tried some delicious Saudi food. Saudi Arabia I knew was a country somewhat involved in a conflict between Buddhists and Muslims in Bangladesh where Bengali settlers were evicting the predominantly Buddhist hill tribes of eastern Bangladesh off their lands while the Bengali army and the Saudi-funded Islamist missionary group al-Rabat joined in trying “civilize the heathens.” Eastern Bangladesh and Northeastern India were as far east as the ancient Arab-Islamic empire spread as the jungles of that area prevented Arab-Islamic conquerors from moving into there and cut them off from peninsular Southeast Asia. Yet here at Saudi Arabia Day these things hardly seemed to have any importance to myself or others.
        I got back to my dorm and talked to Tyler whose older brother he told me was having another baby and I told Tyler I was happy for him. I also made two of those necklaces from the bottle caps in the jar I got, including one for myself. Then I took a nap to make up for my loss of sleep. After I got back from the Rec Center I took out my recycling, and then made five more roses from straws. I also talked to Tyler some more.
        The next day I rode with Emily and Kiera from my Drawing I class to the Nelson and paid Emily the $5. When we got there, we went on a scavenger hunt to find certain kinds of paintings listed on a sheet of paper. After we were done I heard Kiera telling our instructor that she was thinking of doing art therapy for children with Down syndrome and told her and Emily as we were leaving the museum about Tyler and some unforgettable experiences I had with him. I told them about some environmental crafts I did and they thought that sounded great. We went to Spin Pizza afterwards where I also got a new non-crown bottle cap from my drink.
       Later I started thinking some people with autism may go misdiagnosed with AD/HD as they are particularly sensitive and thus prone to distraction by certain sensory experiences. Later I sent out an e-mail to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group about the next meeting. I got back and I made a flower from receipts to decorate a hairpin. I also went to the Print Club where our faculty advisor told us to bring any sort of artistic creation we felt like bringing to sell at our booth at Those Were the Days that we were going to set up. After the meeting I made another coaster from receipts and I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning I refilled one of my medication prescriptions and did some laundry. I also called my mom asking her to send fifty dollars from my account at home to my account at school which she said she would do. Then I read some reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I called my mom again and I told her about my medication and she said she would try and have her friend Mrs. Wendland sent it up as she and Dave were in our vacation house in Colorado for about a week longer. She also suggested trying to get people to come to the autism group by sending out personal invitations to those who had already come.
        Later I made one hundred sixty dreidels from plastic bottle caps and toothpicks and after dinner I made twenty-seven beads from cigarette boxes. I used some gum boxes to store those beads, hair bands, paper clips, and teabag strings so I wouldn’t need to store them in cigarette boxes and could make more beads from them. Then I worked on some trellises made from bottle rings and twist-ties. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on an outline for my yarn painting, depicting Mahatma Gandhi. Then I talked to Tyler for a few minutes.
        After talking to Tyler, I started cutting apart a leather belt I had that was too small for me to make bracelets using the knife my dad got me but as I was cutting apart strips to make strings, I got an awful cut on my thumb and quickly wrapped it in paper towels to stop the blood from flowing out. Then I took a little nap before writing in my meditation journal and while I did, I read on a website about Shambhala arts (contemplative arts in the Shambhala Buddhist community) I learned about the Heaven principle, the principle of the unknown. Then I read about the Earth principle, the principle of one’s inspiration. Then I read about the Human principle, the principle of bringing one’s heart and awareness into the process. I also watched a video of a Shambhala arts class where they were making collages and were supposed to learn about their subjects in the process. Then I watched another Shambhala arts video of a man making music and thought maybe I could inspire myself to play my flute some more if I found some new music to play and get out of my routine. I also sent a picture of my collage to my mom who said she liked it and couldn’t wait to see the final product.

        The next morning, I found three new bottle caps for my collection while sorting some recycling in Ellis after I saw a guy throw away a cardboard pack of beers loaded with cans, found some new pebbles outside when I recycled the cardboard, cleaned my bathroom, and swept my floors. Then I worked on some earrings made from bread tops and my bags woven from bags. Then I read some most of the reading for the past few days and that day for my World Masterpieces class, taking ten minute breaks after each hour where I sorted some recycling and took some photos. After I got back to Ellis I sorted some more recycling on my floor. Later I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi, made some dreidels from bottle caps, and a little after running on the treadmill for an hour I talked to Tyler.

        On Monday in my Drawing I class I continued to improve my drawing ability. After class I read the rest of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. Later I realized I could stop the inside of my bottle cap necklaces from smearing or smudging by putting some tape over them and I did that after I finished my Algebra homework. I ate dinner with Mary and I worked on my yarn painting some more after that as well as my bag woven from bags. After I got back from the Rec Center I worked on the design for a mandala made from plastic bags while I talked to Tyler.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I tried to pass the practice test a few times but couldn’t do it though I still had until 12 the next night. Later I read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After my North American Indian class I went to Music Night where Tom and Dr. Mayfield showed up to and I had them both write down a song on a piece of receipt paper. Then first we played Radioactive, then Amazing, Just the Way You Are, then Here Comes the Sun. We guessed soon that Brian picked the first, I played the second, and Dr. Mayfield picked the third.
        After the meeting I saw Monica about to sign up to volunteer with the Special Olympics, and she seemed fairly happy to see me and said she mixed up the time of the meeting. I worked on that bag woven from bags when I got to dinner and Mary passed by my table admiring the project. I realized after I got back from the Rec Center that I could make my mandala smoother if I covered it with packing tape and I made a necklace from a plastic bottle cap and straws. I sent a picture of my plastic bag mandala, my Gandhi yarn painting, and my straw necklace to my dad and he loved them. I also talked to Tyler and thought, while you could say looking after someone with a disability like him can be an emotional burden, other things in my life become less so from learning to deal with him and the same could be so with educators and health care professionals and even if it costs more to provide autistic and others support, in doing so it would cost less to make our educators and medical professionals more productive.
        The next morning during my Drawing I class I continued improving my drawing skills. Afterwards I read most of the reading for Friday in my World Masterpieces class. During that class we talked about how societies coddle girls and ask boys not to show any emotion and wondered if that could have any effect on how girls on the spectrum show their emotions more than boys and be mis/diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After class I passed the practice test. Then I e-mailed Dr. Mayfield asking her if I should start looking to enroll in classes for next semester and she e-mailed me back saying yes. I also sent out a group e-mail and individual e-mails to all the students in the group.
        Afterwards I got some packing tape, magnetic tape, board, and super glue at the Union bookstore. On my way back I thought of how people in inclusive classroom settings have been demonstrated in studies to have more sensitivity, problem-solving skills, and leadership skills and that if future politicians were more like that our government would do things that were more beneficial to people and “paying it forward,” like providing Head Start programs. When I got back I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and decided to put the Indian flag in the background with the wheel Gandhi and his people used to help themselves achieve their independence. While I ran on the treadmill I did a planning drawing for a snack wrapper collage of Pablo Picasso, also on the autism spectrum. When I got back to my dorm, I worked on that bag woven from bags while I talked to Tyler. I also got a new quarter for my collection when I went down to get a snack from the vending machine.
        The next morning during my Algebra class I got a 94.12% on my test and then I finished the study guide and started on the next homework assignment. When I got back to Ellis, I read the reading for my North American Indian class and started on the role-playing assignment. During that class I got a call on my cellphone, and I later found out it was from the Office of Academic Advising, and I called them back and scheduled a meeting for next Thursday at 10:30. Then I bought some more super glue at the Union bookstore. When I got back, I took the box my mom sent my coat in into the recycling bin outside. Then I went to Walgreen’s and got some Altoids to make dioramas, floss, some packing tape, and a new quarter from my change, then I went to Hasting’s and got the November/December 2013 issue of Poets and Writers, the November 2013 issue of Shambhala Sun, Volume 17, Issue 100 of Ancient American, the November/December 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and National Geographic’s The World’s Greatest Empires: A History of Power. When I got back, I worked on my yarn painting of Gandhi some more. Then I talked to Tyler while I worked on some beads made from cigarette boxes. I also sorted some more recycling in Ellis.
        On Friday I didn’t have my Drawing I class so I used a lot of that time to read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. During the class I got four out of five on the quiz. After class I got a new flash drive as I lost my old one, again. I got back and reorganized my recyclables. Then I went down to Hasting’s and got a November 2013 issue of Total Film magazine with an article on the next two Hobbit movies, and Issue 105, Volume 20 of MovieMaking magazine, with screenwriting exercises and I realized now that I have plenty of screenplay ideas, I might try using some of the exercises in one of my books that I could use before because I didn’t have them. I got back and watched Spongebob during dinner, remembering how Monica watches the show. Then I worked on my Gandhi yarn painting and some Oriental stress balls made from straw wrappers. I also decided that in order to not procrastinate on the book report on the book for my North American Indian class Cahokia to try and read ten pages every night. I read eighteen while I was on the treadmill and loved it. I got back and worked on a scrapbook with a snack wrapper for a cover and made a dream catcher from a glow necklace.

        The next morning before I went to bed I made some more beads from cigarette boxes. Then I read an article on girls with Asperger syndrome, about how Asperger syndrome can culminate in depression, how Marilyn Monroe is suspected to have had Asperger syndrome, greatly contributing to her depression, how Lisa Simpson is thought of as a girl with Asperger syndrome, and how many girls with Asperger syndrome become obsessed with looks, dress, and dieting. After breakfast I went down to Hasting’s and got the Historical Collector’s Edition JKF Assassination: the 50th Anniversary Edition as well as an illustrated children’s version of a great classic The Epic of Sundiata, a West African epic called Sundiata: The Lion-King of Mali. Then I went to Bi-Lo Mart and got the current issue of National Geographic Traveler. I picked up and recycled several bottles and cans on my way back.
        Shortly after I got back, I got back I did some laundry. Then I sorted some recycling and found another non-crown bottle cap for my collection. Then I worked on that bag woven from bags and the role-playing assignment for my North American Indian class. I sorted some more recycling and made a stamp from a plastic bottle cap and some Styrofoam. I also read Sundiata at dinner during which I read that the warrior-king of Mali who freed his country from enemy invasion, was, in addition to being born unable to walk, also unable to speak. He was also driven into exile by rivals in the court of Mali shortly before Mali was invaded. Later while I ran on the treadmill, I read fifteen more pages of Cahokia. After I finished running, I saw an ad for an event on campus the next Friday at 7 called Experience Africa hosted by the UCM African Student Organization which would feature music, dancing, poetry, and fashion shows. I got back and read about half of the next day’s reading for my World Masterpieces class. I also realized that maybe, since so many girls with autism find a way to “blend in,” those who would have trouble with speech mimic speaking the way parrots, who don’t actually speak, but manipulate the muscles in their body to stimulate sound, say things.

        The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual to try and get ahead of my workload, thinking my World Masterpieces take-home exam was due on Friday when it was actually due next Monday. I used that time to work on some bike streamers made from snack wrappers. On my way back to the dorm from my Drawing I class I found another pebble for my collection. I finished reading all the reading for my World Masterpieces class and I got a four out of five on the day’s quiz. Afterwards I tried to finish all of the assignment for the next day for my College Algebra class but there were some problems I had a lot of trouble with and couldn’t focus so well on all of the sudden. I got some help in the Student Success Center though some of the tutors took a while to get to me and figure out what to do. I got done all I could before taking a break to eat dinner, which I did with Autrey and Amanda while I worked on that bag, then worked until the Union computer lab closed at eight, realizing that I was really exhausted from hearing Tyler with his problems with Mary. I started understanding how many girls on the spectrum can get tired from trying to blend in with others and wondered if all the work they put into physical appearance was to help them feel respected by their peers and thought I needed one of my medications to do this in the future. I didn’t go to the Rec Center that night but read twelve more pages of Cahokia. I later called my mom and reminded her to wire one hundred fifty dollars from home to my account at school. I also talked to Tyler a little bit. I also wondered if Marilyn Monroe never put so much work into her looks to get respect.
        The next morning, I finished my Algebra homework and only got less than half a percent off for lateness. After class I worked on my North American Indian role-playing paper. Despite feeling limited energy, I managed to go to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group meeting and Tom and Dr. Mayfield were still the only ones who showed up. However, when I suggested several activities for next week, such as bingo, trivia, or ice breakers, Tom said, “Bingo,” this time with a lot more enthusiasm and Dr. Mayfield said she thought that would be great and said she would bring prizes to. When I got back to my dorm, I read some more of the blog post on women with Asperger syndrome by Tania Marshall and saw it also included a great sense of humor. After that I made another stamp from a plastic bottle cap and Styrofoam and I ate dinner with Connor, John, and a few other people from my hall. I worked on some Oriental stress balls afterwards and some earrings made from bread tops. I read twelve more pages of Cahokia on the treadmill and shortly after I got back, I talked to Tyler some more explaining how I felt about always listening to his problems about Mary and he agreed to talk about them less.
        The next day during my Drawing I class I learned how to do better wrist movement by balancing my hand on the paper. Later I got an idea to make a Green Man face from plastic bottle caps and wire. I finished my Algebra practice quiz after my World Masterpieces class got out, and then I worked on and edited the role-playing paper for my North American Indian class. I got back to my dorm and worked on my mandala made from plastic bags and started on my Green Man made from bottle caps. I covered my giraffe sculpture made from snack wrappers with packing tape to make it sturdier and have a nicer texture and realized that like a giraffe, I have my head high even when there’s trouble. Later on, I went to a SexEd trivia on my floor and then I read another twelve pages of Cahokia. I also talked to Tyler some more while I made five more stamps made from plastic bottle caps and Styrofoam. I also realized how I’m sort of like a giraffe in that I’m very independent.

 

        The next morning, I went to my academic advising meeting with Krisana and enrolled for Modern Sub-Saharan Africa on-line, Early American Literature, World Archaeology, and Film Appreciation, also on-line. Then I went to my Algebra class where I got one hundred percent on the quiz and got more than halfway through the study guide. I read most of the reading for my North American Indian class afterwards while I sat with Alex at lunch. After class I finished that paper and e-mailed to my instructor before the deadline at 12. I also got a call from the Office of Student Financial Services and found out I needed to fill out a tax registration form and went over to their office and got one. After fixing some of my flowers made from straws and my giraffe sculpture, I ate dinner with Oscar, Logan, and a first-year THRIVE student whose name I forgot and found out from Logan that Ryan collects bottle caps like I do by going onto Coca-Cola’s website and winning bottle caps as prizes. I later saw Ryan at the THRIVE Halloween party and he said he’d sometime show me how to do that. Later I ran on the treadmill while I read ten more pages of Cahokia. I got back and talked to Tyler some more. I also talked to my mom who I found out had sent the money she said she would.

A Weekend at Home

On Friday my granddad came to my dorm to pick me up and I showed him some of my environmental crafts, which he enjoyed seeing. I got my stuff together and he brought me home. Once I was there, I found one of my paperweights that said “Wisdom” so I could bring it back to school and put it with the other paperweight I meant to go with it that said, “Compassion.” Later I talked to Tyler and we agreed to go see Captain Philip the next day. I called Jack but I didn’t hear back from him. The next day my mom and I decided to see the movie at 2:30. We went to pick up Tyler and on my way I heard my mom say my Facebook status said I was still in a relationship and suggested I change it, and I thought she was right. We got Tyler and went to the movie, which was full of suspense throughout the whole thing. All in all, I thought the movie was pretty good.

Tyler and I got home and watched some television. Later we decided on him staying for dinner and then for the night. Tyler, Dave, my mom, and I had some juicy steaks and Tyler said he enjoyed having a home-cooked meal, which he hadn’t done since all his siblings left the house and his mom started taking care of his grandfather. He also said he loved having a sleepover, which he had never done before.

After dinner I deleted that post saying I was in a relationship. Then Tyler and I shared some stories that night and I learned about a friend he had in middle school named Jennifer Johnson who had bipolar disorder, scoliosis, was in a wheelchair, and couldn’t speak except with a machine, and died around the time he was in middle school. We also watched a show on the Disney Channel called Wolf Blood about some underground maligned werewolves in rural Wales experiencing bullying at their school and banding together to help each other and it reminded us of the way people with various disabilities, such as Asperger syndrome, bipolar disorder, and Down syndrome, have been forced to live for decades. I also questioned him about Monica to see if it was really her he knew. I asked him if she had shoulder-length black hair and he said yes. I asked if she had blue eyes and he said yes. Then I asked him if she had a wide open smile and he said yes. That sounded like her. Before I went to bed, I read a post about women with Asperger syndrome on a blog by a women named Tania Marshall, an expert in women with Asperger syndrome, and learned they can have mood swings or be diagnosed or misdiagnosed with AD/HD, bipolar disorder, OCD, and other conditions, and can also have a lot of artistic or creative ability, as well as great empathy. I also read on Wrong Planet how some people with Asperger syndrome deny that have it and instead say they have bipolar disorder.

The next day when I woke up Tyler joined me in my meditation, following what it appeared to him to be going on at least. After breakfast we went to Starbuck’s and on our way back his dad saw us and gave us a ride home and I said goodbye to Tyler, and he left. For the rest of the day before I went back, I made some flowers and roses from straws and straw wrappers and redid the ones I did for my cousins Kyley and Hunter, which they left at our house, worked on my planning drawings for my snack wrapper collages, and helped Dave get some stuff ready to take to the second home in Colorado they bought last summer. Then Mom gave me some clean clothes and my train ticket and Dave took me to the station.

I got on the train and read a lot of the World Masterpieces reading Don Quixote, quite a funny book, until the train pulled into the station, and I got off. I got back and had dinner with Mary and Autrey, presuming not to bring up Tyler to Mary. After that I worked on some earrings made from the tops of bread bags. While I ran on the treadmill, I read some more of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. I got back and worked on one of my snack wrapper collages some more. Then I talked to my granddad who I told I thought my snack wrapper collages would look very life-like and he said if anyone could make them look professional, it was me, as he said when he saw some of my environmental crafts that they looked very manufactured, as if they hadn’t been made from trash.

Third and Fourth Week of the Autism Group

         

On the first day of the month, I took my exam for my North American Indian class, and I thought I did pretty well on it. After that I went to the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group Game Night, where I saw Tom and met a new person named Matt. After introductions we paired up into groups of two, Matt and I, and Tom and Barbara. I learned that Matt was from England and had an interest in Japanese culture and anime. After we shared what we learned with the group, we all played a game that Matt had brought, a Japanese anime card game which was rather complex but fun all the same.

When I got back to Ellis, I found my mom had sent me a cutter and some toilet paper rolls from home to make some decorated cable holders for the group. I made two more of them then talked to Tyler a bit. I also started cutting out pieces of snack wrappers to make collages. Later I went to a mandatory alcohol program in the Union which was basically a violence and substance abuse trivia night. On my way I realized I am probably running the only autism group in all of Warrensburg. Then later back in Ellis, I sat at Late Night with several people from my hall including John and Kyley, while I worked on my handbag made from snack wrappers, which I thought I’d give to my mom for her birthday sometime and make another one for the next girl I date. That night I also found my phone charger wasn’t working while my phone was out of batteries, and I gave up trying to charge it after much frustration.

Thankfully I woke up in time to meditate, shower, and eat breakfast before my Drawing I class even though I didn’t have my alarm. After my Drawing I class the next day, I read a lot of the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After that class I found a new non-crown bottle cap for my collection while sorting some recycling. Then I finished my Algebra practice quiz for about an hour and a half before I passed with one hundred percent necessary to move on, then a review. After that I worked on some planning drawings for my snack wrapper collages, to be of history’s great people on the spectrum.

I then got a haircut at ProCuts, and then went to the Verizon store to get my phone and charger figured out. While a woman at the counter looked at it, I saw Tom and Jerry playing on the TV, thinking about how Monica loved to watch that show. Finally, after the woman came to the conclusion my charger wasn’t working, I got a new one for $34. When I got back to my dorm, I talked to Tyler some more and I heard him say he knew Monica, from a dance troop, which did make sense as I remembered her saying she was in a dance troupe in high school. I also recharged my phone with my new charger, and it worked.

Before my Algebra class the next day, I read some of the reading for my North American Indian class. Then during my Algebra class, I passed the test with 100%. I later finished reading the reading for my North American Indian class. I also realized how for girls with autism, coming to a group like the one at UCM may be harder for them as they may not know how to assert their own boundaries and are in groups surrounded by males as females often get the diagnosis very late in their lives if at all, not because of a lack of females on the spectrum, but of them often being able to blend in with their non-autistic peers. I started writing a letter to Sharon daVanport of the Autism Women’s Network, asking questions about how groups like mine could make a more comfortable environment for females and what kind of unique struggles they experienced.

I talked to my granddad who thought it was a good idea to write that letter seeing what I could learn. I also ate dinner with Levi and Mary while I worked on my scrap pieces from snack wrappers and Levi thought my letter was good idea and was also doubted there were necessarily less girls on the spectrum. Later I worked on some flowers made from straws and my new wall art piece made from toilet paper rolls. I also talked to my mom and dad who liked my letter idea, and my dad said one of the biggest questions people in his field of psychology are faced with is how to get females on the spectrum to be comfortable getting support.

The next day I started on some beads made from cigarette boxes after my Drawing I class. I also read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. I sent out e-mails to the group members about the bowling night the next week and then I worked on my poster board for Disability Awareness Week, but I found out none of the printers on campus would print color which I needed for several things on the board. Then I went to the Grinstead Building for the next Print Club meeting but got there and learned that I missed it, and it was an hour earlier. However, one of the members, Stacy, stayed behind for a few minutes and told me and wrote down what they discussed. I learned we were making designs for cards for the next meeting and would all try and go to a junk antique store in Warrensburg called Those Were the Days, buy something there and make something from it. After I thanked Stacy for going over all this with me, I went to Crazy Dog’s and got myself some ice cream as a reward for one of my days of studying. I later worked on my wall art made from toilet paper rolls.

The next morning, I ate breakfast with Chris and John then Oscar and Mary after they left. After that I worked on two pairs of Oriental stress balls. Later I found out I could not print using the cords I had to my computer and printer, but I texted Hillary asking her if I could use her printer for to print these off and she said I could when she got back from Lee Summit that night. I worked on some flowers then talked to Tyler, who still seemed to pine over Mary and after talking to him for about an hour, I felt fairly stressed with my schoolwork and finishing the poster board for Disability Awareness Week, doing my laundry, reading my World Masterpieces reading, and finishing my card for the Print Club before the weekend ended. I talked to my mom, which felt like it didn’t do too much good-she told me I need to take breaks sometimes with being a regular student-and I soon felt ready to explode, but I felt better after running on the treadmill. After that I got some flaming hot Cheetos, Hershey’s, pepperoni, Altoids, shampoo, and soap. I got back and talked to Tyler and told him I loved talking to him but couldn’t hear him talk about Mary all the time because I have a lot of work with the group and my schoolwork. After words I took a short nap to recover my strength and then I got a text from Hillary saying she had gotten back, and I went and printed some stuff off. Early the next day I finished my poster board, then did some laundry. Later I read more of the reading for my North American Indian class and during my exercise I read a lot of the reading for my World Masterpieces class.

I woke up at 6:30 on Monday so I could do my meditation, take a shower, and eat breakfast before going to the Union to set up the poster board at 8. I learned later that it was Cam’s birthday on Facebook and posted a happy birthday message. Later as I was cleaning up my student e-mail account, I found an e-mail from last year from a student named Caleb who said he was on the autism spectrum and saw the group flyers and wanted to know about the group. I responded apologizing for not noticing his e-mail until now and telling him about the Bowling Night. Then I worked on my drawing for a card for the Print Club. During my Drawing I class I worked on the midterm assignment-letters made from anything we could find that spelled a word from mythology. Mine said “Xeinos,” a Greek term I learned during my World Masterpieces class discussion of The Odyssey, which meant reciprocity, cut out from the paper package my mom sent those cardboard tubes in, which I twisted to make look 3-dimensional.

I got back and worked on some Oriental stress balls made from straw wrappers. Then I read a lot of the reading for my North American Indian class. I also texted Cam to wish him a happy birthday. Then read the reading for my World Masterpieces class. After that I finished my Algebra assignment. I ate lunch with Connor, Richard, Ro, and Mckenzie. Then I went down to the Union and got myself a strawberry smoothie as a reward for finishing the poster board and drink it while I made another coaster from receipts. I got back and talked to Tyler while I worked on my lampshade made from straws.

          

The next day I got one hundred percent on my Algebra practice quiz, and then I got one hundred percent on the quiz. I also realized more of how I’d make my lampshade made from straws. When I got back, I finished my card for the Print Club then worked on my lampshade. I also got a text from Mom saying my friend Erin’s grandmother had died. Then I read the rest of the reading for my North American Indian class. After that I worked on my snack wrapper collages a little bit. During my North American Indian class, I found out I got an 89% on the exam.

After class I went to the bowling alley. Tom was there and soon Matt arrived. Then James got to the alley and said Monica might be coming. After waiting a few minutes, we got shoes and set up the game. After that Monica got there and we added her name. After I bowled well on my turn I told Monica, “It’s a lot like fighting a dementor. You got to think of something happy.”

She laughed and said, “I love Harry Potter. I once watched all the movies in a row.” By the end of the game, Monica had the highest score. Afterwards she asked when the next meeting was, and I said I’d send everyone an e-mail about it.

I got back and worked on my sign for my Drawing I class. Then I saw Connor, Thad, and Mckenzie all walking to dinner, and they asked me to join them, and I said I would. I saw Alex, Oscar, and several other THRIVE students sitting at a table, and they invited me, though I explained I was already eating with some other people and would catch them next time. After dinner I made some more flowers from straws. I talked to Tyler after I ran on the treadmill, and I got my medication.

The next day in my Drawing I class I learned to draw by moving my elbow rather than my wrist. After class I remembered something my former THRIVE counselor asked me to do: take a risk loving someone who will love me the way I deserve to be loved. Then I called Erin and wished her my condolences. I also got myself a mango smoothie at the coffee shop as a reward for being willing to take a risk in love. When I got back my mom called and asked if I wanted to come home this weekend and I thought that would be nice and said I would. I talked to Tyler that night and we agreed for me, him, and Jack if he was able to, to get together this weekend.

          

The next morning in my Algebra class I got all the homework for that class done. After class I read the reading for my North American Indian class. Then I realized more of how I’d make some beads made from cigarette boxes and worked on the when I got back. After dinner I talked to my Granddad and found out he was taking me home the next day. Later I made forty more flowers from straws and worked on my snack wrappers collages.

I went to the Print Club later and met several people there and while we went to another room to work on computer editing the cards Stacy saw me haul a bunch of paper from a trash can into a recycling bin and said she respected me respected my recycling, having seen me put a bottle from the trash into the recycling bin last time she saw me and I told her and a few others about my environmental crafts which they thought sounded great. Then I finished computer editing the card and got my design on some wax paper so it could be used to make prints. Afterwards I got back and talked to Tyler some more. Then I read some more of Sahara, took a nap, and worked on my wall art made from toilet paper rolls.