Last Few Days to Finish My Summer Plans

        On the first day of August, I went to work, and my mom returned my Lonely Planet Mongolia book to the library. After work I got a copy of the new National Geographic issue, and I filled out a request form for Thursday and Sunday. I got home and I called Erin in response to her calling me yesterday while I was at work, and she asked if I could get together the next day. I told her how I wouldn’t be available then and we decided to get together another time. I called my granddad and told him about how Emily hadn’t responded to any of my calls or texts recently. He thought it could be due to her ADHD or that she could be on vacation. My mom and I also talked about The United States of Autism and I told her how maddening it is that people buy into “autism charities” that do things like pay more to their executives then they do for autism services, and she said I could definitely help counterbalance that.

                The next day I practiced my flute for half an hour. I also talked to Tyler, and he said Mary said the breakup was about the fact that she was stressed and wasn’t herself and she didn’t want a long-distance relationship. Later I made a few roses out of straws and gave one to Kyley and one to Hunter.  I also talked to my granddad some more and he thought Emily could need some space. I talked to my dad, and he thought her not responding to my texts or calls could be due to her ADHD or her being on vacation. I also called work and found out I work on Monday from 3-10 the next week. 

                The next day while I was at work I decided to slow down in my life and enjoy my relatives being here. After work I talked to Tyler and comforted him after his attempt to get Mary back didn’t go so well. I realized Emily could not be responding to my calls or texts because she was depressed from missing me so much. The next day I worked on my travel plans to Tanzania and Madagascar and a bag woven from bags that morning and had dinner with my relatives and I realized that Emily could have possibly gotten a job taking care of children, as was her passion, and could come home too tired to talk. I also practiced my flute for another half an hour. Hunter came into the sunroom where I was and began asking a lot of questions which made me see how Emily could get tired from working with kids for so long. I later talked to Tyler on the phone for so long that I didn’t get around to telling my dad or granddad what I figured out about Emily, but I figured that was ok as his problems were worse than mine. 

On Monday I realized the next morning that providing services for autism is really a lot better for everyone because it would cut so many costs associated with not doing it. Before I went to bed, I read a lot of a novel called Water Touching Stone. Then after I woke up, my mom, Dave, aunt, uncle, and cousins all went to Powell Garden’s the next day and I found out I had been enrolled in my classes. I also thought it is one thing to make budget cuts, but to not include people with disabilities in them is another. When I got home, I deposited my paycheck and got a new bottle cap from a drink I got at Better Cheddar and later I talked to Tyler. 

As I was deleting several old e-mails, I saw a quote in one of them that said, “What lies before you and what lies behind you is nothing compared to what lies within you.” I also signed a petition to end tax-subsidized CEO bonuses saying I was an autistic person, and I find it unbelievable that the government can afford that but not to provide for us. I added myself as anonymous, but I figured that would make a more powerful statement about society’s treatment of autistics seeing how I chose not to share my name. I later had dinner with my mom, Dave, brothers, aunt, uncle, and cousins. That night I called Erin and found out she couldn’t get together on Thursday and I decided I would try next Monday and then I texted Oscar to see if he wanted to get together on Thursday with Jack and Tyler.  He said that would be great and we agreed to pick him up after my art class. I also found out Emily is on Facebook and changed my status to “in a relationship with Emily Webb.” I thought with us both on Facebook, I could show her I was able to give her some space.

                The next day I got my haircut before I went to work. Then I got home and talked to Tyler who said Mary said she wanted to date him but couldn’t find the time. The next morning, I started to see that autistic people may be driven to commit crime, so they don’t have to feel so invisible.  I also rode my bike for about an hour and I left Mary a message telling her the things Tyler said about how he feels about her.  Later I fixed some of my flowers made from straws and I deleted several e-mails.  While I did, I saw Autrey said, “Great,” in response to my new relationship status. 

                I talked to Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday at the Cheesecake Factory then go to the Frida Kalho Diego Rivera exhibit at the Nelson. Afterwards on my way to Winstead’s with my Granddad, we agreed that while it may cost health insurance companies money to provide for autistic people, it would save them money on providing for health crises otherwise connected to autism, such as bladder problems, diabetes, and obesity. We ate at Winstead’s again where I got a picture of a moth on the glass window. After we left, I realized people with Down syndrome once had to fight hard to get things like group homes and other services. 

My granddad and I went to Barnes and Noble where I got the October 2013 issue of Mindful magazine, a September/October 2013 issue of Buddhadharma, National Geographic’s 100 Secret Journeys: The World’s Best Hidden Adventures, a September /October 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine, and an August 2013 issue of Empire magazine with an article on the upcoming Hobbit movie The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Then we went to the Pathless Land where we did the Chakra meditation again. After the class was over, my granddad said while we were in the car that Tyler probably finds it very liberating that I listen to him, which probably no one else has ever done. At Roasterie Coffee, I got a good picture of my muffin before my granddad took me home.

I got home and saw on the cover of the latest issue of Mindful, it said 3 Ways to Take Better Pictures. I got a text from Emily, and we texted back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” Then I said, “I can’t wait to see you again,” and she said, “Yeah,” and “I have miss talking to you.” I also talked to Tyler and listened to him about Mary. Then I realized I could make windmills from my super glue bottles, one of which I would give to Erin, who’s always dreamed of traveling to Europe, when I saw her next. That night I dreamt that I got a job offer in Taiwan so I could be there to help its people with their skewed relationship with China and Emily asked if I wanted to get married there.

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class again, getting twenty more minutes of driving. I almost finished another painting, and I learned block in shapes using different shades. Then I drove to Oscar’s house and took him, Jack, and I to my house getting another twenty minutes of driving. We had lunch then swam and tossed a Nerf football and played Marco Polo then my brother’s old version Merde Schiza. I drove Jack and Oscar home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving.

When I got back home, I read Mindful’s article on photography where I learned that three different aspects of it are color, texture, and people. Then I went down to Starbucks and wrote some poetry. Later I took several pictures like they suggested in Mindful and I talked to my dad who asked me what I would like for my birthday. I said something like The Little Book of Contemplative Photography or a book on whittling. He told me had gotten me a great pocketknife and a great piece of wood to carve a ball-in-a-cage. After I was done talking to him, I made two windmills, one of which I would give to Erin the next day.

On Friday afternoon I took several more pictures using the advice they wrote in Mindful then I was picked up by Erin and her mom. I gave her the windmill I made her which she thought was very clever and then we went to the Cheesecake Factory. After our main meal we enjoy some of their cheesecake which filled me up so much I could not finish the whole thing and had to get a to-go box. We went to the Nelson where I gave a dollar to help support their work and saw the Frida Kahlo Diego Rivera exhibit. While I was there, I saw several great photographs which demonstrated that, like the philosophy of contemplative photography, we don’t need great scenery to make great photographs. I also saw how Frida Kahlo’s work had a lot of color to it just like contemplative photos.

When I got home, I realized that substance abuse can really arise from low self-esteem among autistics. I also saw a girl from Tennessee in Good Luck, Charlie, who really reminded me of Emily, while I worked on my bag woven from bags. Then I called work and found out I work Monday from 3-7 Tuesday from 4-8, and Saturday from 11-7:30. The next morning, I cuddled an old teddy bear of mine pretending it was Emily getting a taste of what it would be like if it really was. After I got up and did my meditation, I refilled my prescription and then went to work.

While at work I got my employee birthday slip for a free pie and took some pictures of my M&Ms on my break. I realized that miksang photography is really just a philosophy of how great photography arises. I also realized that even if autism services cost us money, we would reimburse as they create jobs. After I got home, I realized that dream I had about Emily asking if I wanted to get married in Taiwan meant she always values my opinion about matters concerning our relationship. As I watched a Family Guy cut-away with Scarlett Johansson, her resemblance to Emily was just striking.

The next day I went to La Peep with my brothers, dad, and grandparents where my granddad gave me the latest issue of Smithsonian magazine and I took several pictures. I also realized that if parents of autistic children didn’t have to struggle to pay for their children’s services, they could buy more things that would really stimulate our economy. When I got home, I took several more photos and realized the elements of color and texture are in the environmental crafts I make like toilet paper roll dioramas and snack wrapper handbags. I also started to appreciate painting more. Later I helped Dave and Graham set up a studio downstairs in our old basement storage room.

After helping Dave I made another one of my bracelets from Hershey’s nugget wrapper. Then I saved more of Emily’s and my texts, and we texted back and forth.  I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.” Then I told her she was really beautiful, and I cuddled with a teddy bear pretending it was her. She said, “Aww,” and I could hear her voice in the texts like she was right next to me.  Emily then said, “I miss you.” 

The next morning, I realized Emily, Jack, and Tyler were all capable of leading normal lives, especially with new college programs available for them. Then I drove to my art class with Jack getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I painted, I saw more of what Donna meant when she said to block in your big shapes and mix the colors on your pallet. I took several pictures of things around the studio and realized contemplative photography helps you to slow down and notice colors like you would when doing a painting. I also drove Jack home and my mom and I to Bruce Smith, then home getting another twenty-five minutes of driving. 

Emily and I texted each other back and forth some more before I went to work. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I went to work and told Phil I would call him before the breaks started to tell him I would be available to work then, and he said that would be great. After work, my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, Graham, and I ate at a restaurant/movie theater called Standees in the Prairie Village shopping center. While we waited for our food, I talked to Tyler outside, who had called me while I was at work, and he said he got me several birthday presents.  I told him that was really thoughtful. Then we talked about Mary, and I told him I knew exactly how he felt from all my past break-ups.

After dinner, my mom, Dave, and I watched the movie Way, Way Back. When I got home, I found a bag inside my home with gummy worms, beef jerky, several chocolates, three ten-dollar Barnes and Noble gift cards, all with a card from Tyler. I talked to him some more on the phone and heard him talk about his break-up. The next day I took several pictures before I went to work. After work, I got Life magazine’s Remembering John Lennon, who was believed to be autistic. I realized how many autistic people can be afraid to speak out against discrimination for fear of the government based on abuse they’ve suffered in schools and health care institutions like I had in my life. I worked on my handbag for Emily a little more then I e-mailed my new roommate Connor, telling him about myself and asking him if he was bringing either a refrigerator or a microwave. I also realized that if I talked about some of my passions to Emily, she might not know how to say what she thinks, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t interested in what I’m saying.

The next day I found out Connor had e-mailed me back and I learned he was from Jacksonville, North Carolina, is a sophomore, and that his interests are church, military, firearms, history, and travel. He told me he would probably be moving into a fraternity house sometime this year and didn’t know how long we’d be rooming together. He also said he was not bringing a fridge or a microwave. Later I went down to the bank and deposited my last paycheck and got a new bottle cap from my drink I got at Better Cheddar. I got home and worked on my handbag for Emily and a lampshade made from straws.

Emily and I texted each other back and forth. She said, “I miss you so bad,” and I said, “I know.  I feel the same way about you.” She said, “Aww youre so sweet Ben.” I said, “Well I love you,” and she said, “I want to cuddle you.” I said, “Me too.” I also realized that contemplative photography is also about being aware of things while you photograph them, and I worked more on my bags woven from bags.

My granddad took me to Winstead’s and when I got in, I saw, sitting at a far table, my grandmom, there to see me for my birthday before I went off to school. I opened my card from them and opened my present from them: a fifty-dollar debit card. I also went to Barnes and Noble where I got the new issue of Tricycle magazine. I went to the Pathless Land for the last time for a while meditating with the others sitting, breathing, and being. After the Pathless Land, my granddad and I skipped going to Roasterie Coffee since Emily had just texted me.

We texted back and forth when I got home, and she asked me what I missed about her. I said I missed practically everything about her, and she said, “Aww that’s so sweet Ben.” It felt good to see that Emily didn’t think of me as someone with something wrong with them because I had autism. She texted me goodnight and I texted her goodnight back. I also realized how politicians just don’t seem to want to help us because they have this notion of “picking yourself up by your bootstraps.”

I drove Jack and I to art class the next day, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While I was there, I got several more pictures, including one of Jack break dancing. I drove Jack home and then to an estate sale, getting twenty more minutes of driving. While at the sale, I found a beautiful pink scarf which I bought for Emily. When she texted me, I told her I got her something at an estate sale.” She said, “Thanks babe that’s so sweet.” 

I drove to another estate sale, getting another ten minutes of driving. I bought Life Pictorial Atlas of the World, and Time-Life’s Ancient America, Barbarian Europe, Early Japan, Classical Greece, Early Islam, Imperial Rome, Age of Exploration, Ancient China, Historic India, Cradle of Civilization, Byzantium, and Renaissance for only thirty dollars. Then I drove to Target, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving. I got hygiene supplies, snack food, tea, and a mini-fridge. Then I drove back home, getting myself another fifteen minutes of driving.

Back at home Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I said, “I love you,” and she said, “Love u too.” I asked her how work went, and she said she didn’t go because she had pink-eye. I said, “I’m sorry about that,” and that I hope she feels better soon. She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Sure.  I love you.” She said, “You too.”

I whittled a sword and a knife and worked on whittling a fish and made a bird beak to replace one that broke off my mom’s bird statue. She was pretty happy with it. Then I texted Emily back and forth some more. She asked if she was able to be there for my birthday would I want her there and I said, “Of course I would.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Of course. I love you,” and she said, “I love you too.”

She asked me why I got her something at an estate sale and I said it was because I thought it would be romantic and look good on her. She said, “Aww Ben,” and, “I miss you,” and I said, “I miss you too.”  We texted later and she said, “Cuddle.” I said, “I’d love to.” She said, “Really,” and I said, “Cuddle you?  Of course.” She said, “Aww.” Then I said, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” She said, “I love you too.” I also talked to Tyler and told him to resist the temptation to e-mail Mary.

The next morning Emily and I texted each other some more. I told her, “I love you.” She said, I want to cuddle you,” and I said, “I know.  Me to.” She asked me, “And will you hold my hand wherever we go?” And I said, “Definitely.” She asked if I could call her and I said certainly. She said, “Thanks babe love you.”

I called her and we talked on the phone. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said she didn’t have to get me anything. She insisted though and I told her she could just give me a Barnes and Noble gift card. She also said she wanted to cuddle me, that there was a special app called Tango I could download for free and we could video chat, that she wished she could come back to UCM and see me every day, and that she missed me. I told her I was cuddling a bear pretending it was her and “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” 

I called her back after my meditation, and she asked me if I would give her a hug and kiss when she got to school and when she left. I said I would and then I found out for her and told her that Homecoming Week was from October 25^th-27^th. She said she would miss me even more after that. Later she told me she missed me again and I told her I would love to cuddle her. I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

After we hung up, I got Tango. Once we figured out how it worked, we talked to each other on it and I saw her house and her cat Fuzzy. I showed her my mom, Jamie, the dogs, Peter, the rose I made her, and the scarf I got her and she liked them both. I told her, face-to-face, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” I started packing up and we texted while I did. She said the rose and the scarf were really beautiful and I said I thought of her when I got the scarf. She said, “Aww.” I said I to my mom from her and said hi to Emily back. Later I glued some more origami hearts together and worked on a bag woven from bags and whittling a fish.

I went over to my dad’s later that night and I opened my birthday presents. I got a Swedish-made knife, very sharp and great for whittling, two books on whittling-Old-Time Whittling: Easy Techniques for Classic Projects and The Art of Whittling, a block of wood from which to carve a ball-in-a-cage, and some finger guards. My dad read an excerpt from The Art of Whittling, a historical reprint, in a Hank Hillish voice, “The love of tools seems to have been a natural trait among youth of all ages. This is especially true of the pocket-knife. What normal boy does not love to whittle?” After opening presents we went and ate at Jack Stack Barbeque. When I got home, I finished my fish, talked to Tyler some more, wrote in my gratitude journal, and packed some more.

The next day I drove to work once more getting ten more minutes of driving, where I thanked Phil for all the hours he had given me, and he told me thanks for all the hard work and to call him to let him know when I’m coming home for breaks. After work was over, I changed into some clothes my mom had brought me and drove to Elsa’s Ethiopian Restaurant getting myself another twenty minutes of driving.  Erin and Tyler called to wish me a happy birthday and my mom, Dave, Jamie, Cam, and I enjoyed a bounty of doro watt, doro tibbs lentils, injera, and other foods of Ethiopian cuisine. Hillary texted me to wish me a happy birthday and I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving. Once at home we ate some birthday cake and I opened my presents: a CD called The Gyuto Monks Tantric Choir, two books-The Lego Idea Book: Unblocking Your Imagination and The Lego Book, two really neat shirts, a Buddha woodcarving, and a mug with the statue of the Thinker on it thinking a huge bubble of thoughts which disappeared when filled with hot water left saying only coffee. I’d say it was a pretty good haul this year. Then I packed up some more for the big day tomorrow and signed up for the access meal plan.

 

The United States of Autism Movie

On Monday I drove to and back from art class, which was cancelled, getting thirty more minutes of driving. Then I talked to Tyler and comforted him, telling him what I thought yesterday. I called Emily, though I didn’t hear back, then I tried to call my granddad to tell him about Tyler and Mary, but he wasn’t there. My grandmom answered, and I told her about Tyler and Mary and what I thought was going on and she thought that could be the case. My mom asked me if I wanted go with her to see a movie at Town Center called The United States of Autism. I said sure and remembered that I had heard of that movie one time years ago from the Autism Women’s Network. Later I drove to my doctor’s appointment getting thirty-five more minutes of driving. After I got back, I realized my flowers would look nicer if the taller ones were closer together. 

Later my mom, Dave, Jamie, and I went to see The United States of Autism. There I saw an autism camp, which I donated a dollar to, and an old high school friend and fellow autistic named Ian Sneid. The camp told us about their mission and then the movie started. The filmmaker went across the country talking to families and individuals about trying to get the right resources they needed. Interviewees came from several different states in forty places across the country and included Sharon daVanport, co-founder of the Autism Women’s Network, Alex Plank, the founder of the Wrong Planet website, and Raun Kaufman, a man who claims that his parents' homegrown autism therapies cured him of his autism allowing him to go to a prestigious university. An Oklahoman father talked about his attempts to get a piece of autism legislation passed, which he claimed was very fiscally conservative, yet had been shot down by Oklahoman politicians regardless of their political party. He asked the question, “How can one be pro-life and not want to provide for autism. It’s as if they think they’ll only care for someone until they come out of the womb.” A mother talked about how unreliable the services providers are at ABA organizations and told one of their representatives on a high up floor, “If you don’t get me your director, I will throw myself out this window.” He later got the director to come speak to her. One mother said she hears stories of so-called “recoveries” and feels guilty wondering why she can’t do the same for her kid. Mom watched Alex Plank speak about neurodiversity and found him to be very impressive. After the movie ended, people from the camp spoke some more and my mom and Dave were begging Jamie and I to let us all leave and reluctantly, Jamie and I agreed.

After the movie we ate dinner at Blue Koi. Then I got home and talked to Granddad about Tyler and Mary, and he thought what I thought. He also thought that Emily might not be returning my calls due to something related to her ADHD. The next morning, I dreamt Emily, another THRIVE student I didn’t know, and myself were all walking together in the town of Warrensburg. After I woke up, I emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, took some pictures of some dying flowers, representing death, and some Russian dolls behind the glass in one of our cabinets. I drove to work adding another ten minutes of driving to my time adding ten more minutes of driving to my time. I realized that Raun Kaufman couldn’t possibly be autistic because I had seen the back of his book Son-Rise say that before he was cured, he was an empty shell, yet if he really were autistic, he’d know autistic people aren’t that way at all. I thought him saying the Son-Rise Program cured his autism is no more valid than Tom Cruise saying Scientology cured his dyslexia. I realized though while he gives “hope” for a cure, I give people hope that they can amount to great things with their present neurological differences. I also thought of an idea to show so: a talent night, much like the Culture Night last year at UCM.

After work I got the newest edition of Saveur magazine. Then the next day I went to work again and got a picture of my M&Ms during my break. On my way back I took some more pictures of flowers, trees, and weeds that looked like ikebana arrangements. When I got back, I found out my mom had cleaned out my closet. I unpacked a little bit in effort to help clean out my room for my Uncle Kurt Aunt Barb, and cousins Kyley and Hunter who were coming to visit. I put some sticks I found into an old tea can like an ikebana arrangement and I glued some origami hearts made from receipts together.

Later I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I felt it was kind of scary the violence that goes on towards autistic people in this country when I realized that like a tool, I have a specific purpose, and until I find that purpose, I might just be staying on a shelf. I went to Barnes and Noble with him where I got a July/August 2013 issue of Poets and Writers and the September 2013 issue of Bicycling magazine. Then we went to the Pathless Land where I meditated with the others just sitting, breathing, and being. Then I realized that the mother who threatened to throw herself out the window like so many other parents would be right behind me in my cause to give autistics full access to society. I realized and told the group that while I could feel scared about the way people with autism are often treated in this country, I felt comforted by the love of Emily and realized I would rather have a long-distance relationship now than a short-distance one later. Ben said that trying to change our past would be like the movie Back to the Future, where it creates a ripple effect that changes our entire lives. I did the closing for the Pathless Land then my granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee. I got back and I rearranged my room and realized that might be right in thinking I’d like to do Chinese painting because it’s often of the stuff I take pictures of.

An Unexpected Journey of My Own

On the first day of the next week, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving time and after art class I drove to Einstein’s for lunch and the shoe store where I got some new shoes. We walked over to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Woodcarving magazine’s Whittling and Time magazine’s The Rise of Robots: How Smart Machines are Changing Our Lives and learned that robots can help us explore the deep sea and while robots may take some jobs, they will create new ones and save us money with robo cops both meaning we’ll have more money in our budget and the government can no longer use that as an excuse to discriminate against autistics. When I got home, I made some beads from straws, and I practiced my flute for half an hour and then took some pictures of some of my mom’s flowers. Then I talked to my granddad, and he seemed to think that making autism legislation would help autistic people and I talked to Tyler again and he said he was doing well and he talked to Hillary and found out she was doing well.

                The next day I drove my mom to the glass recycling bin adding ten more minutes to my driving time, the library where I got a Lonely Planet book on Rajasthan, Delhi, and Agra, adding ten more minutes to my driving times, then to the post office where I got a free periodical on stamp collecting, adding another ten minutes, then home, adding another five minutes. I worked on gluing my origami hearts made from receipts together, rode my bike for an hour, and wrote some poems while I sipped some macchiato at the Starbuck’s. As I got home, I realized that sacking involves space and can be a way to appreciate the hierarchy of heaven, earth, and man. I took some more pictures of my mom’s flowers then started working on turning beads into straws and I realized that while some may think that providing autistic people the right services would cost us money, it would also save us money that the problems autistic people not having the right services costs.

                I kept working on my beads made from straws and then I got a text. It said, “Hi Ben.  It’s Emily.” I texted her back saying, “Hi how are you?” She said, “Good and you?” I said, “Good.  What are you doing?” She said, “Just working.  What are you doing?” I said, “Working, arts and crafts, flute-playing, photography.” Then she sent a text saying, “I like you Ben.”

                I said, “Do you mean friendwise or otherwise?” She said, “Like I want you to be my bf or something you want at school but I wasn’t sure if you wanted the same thing.” Suddenly I just couldn’t think straight. Then I got a text from Hillary saying, “Emily Webb wants to date you.” Afterwards she sent me a text saying, “I think you should.  David Stillman [THRIVE student] thinks youd make a great couple.”

                I still wasn’t sure, and I texted Emily saying I thought she was beautiful, and I liked her friendship, but I didn’t want to rush into it and that maybe we should talk and grow closer first. Then I talked to my dad and told him I liked Emily, but I wanted to keep my options open. He said, "Well Ben you’re getting ahead of yourself. You should hit that bridge when you come to it, and it might not work out how you expected.”

                I said, “So if I want to date Emily, I should?”

                “Yes,” he said.

                Emily sent me a text later saying, “I’m going to bed.” Then I sent her a text saying, “Emily, screw taking it slowly. I think we should live for the moment and date. I want to date you and if you still want to date me tomorrow when I get off work, text me and let me know.” The next day on the way to work I realized like certain ikebana arrangements, the flowers may be far apart, but like Emily and I, they can come together to make something beautiful. When I got back home, I renewed my Lonely Planet Mongolia book and I saw a text from Emily saying, “I want to date you.” I said, “Me too.

                We called each other and talked. It felt very romantic, and I just felt so excited. I told her, “I love you.” 

She said, “I love you to.”  She also said that she would come down to UCM for Homecoming Weekend and sometimes comes down to Kansas City to see family members. 

                I told my granddad about Emily when he got to my house, and he was very excited for me and said he knew all along I’d find a relationship when I least expected it. He gave me the June 2013 issue of Smithsonian and we went to Winstead’s. Granddad said he was sure Emily was truly into me since a beautiful girl like her could probably get her pick of guys. We went to Barnes and Noble afterwards and I got Time magazine’s The 100 Most Influential People Who Never Lived with characters like Homer Simpson on the front cover, and a 2013 issue of Sacred Hoop magazine which had an article about a pilgrimage to Kathmandu and Celtic and Tibetan spirituality. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the Chakra meditation with the others and at the end I did the dedication of merit. I thought someone who loves me like Emily really was encouraging. I felt that on the issue of autism, people might say we’ve come a long way, but I feel we’ve only gone through the gates of Mt. Kilimanjaro National Park. We have yet to climb the mountain. My granddad and I went to Roasterie Coffee afterwards and I took a picture of my cookie and my espresso.

                The next day I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving and I worked on my painting. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving and then I called Emily. I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.”

                I rode my bike for about an hour then got back and glued some of my origami hearts together. Then after writing in my dream journal, I worked on a tree commemorating Emily’s and my relationship by covering cardboard tubes with brown construction paper where I’d insert branches to hang my origami hearts. I refilled my medication and when I got it at Bruce Smith, I got a new bottle cap from my drink which I got for free due to a stocking and pricing error and being the first one to get it. Then I got back and called Emily and told her, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                Before I went to sleep that night, I got a call from my mom asking me to come with her to Village Presbyterian Church where she used to teach preschool for several years before she retired this summer to show and tell the kids about some of my Lego sets. The next day when I woke up, I got a call from Emily and I said, “I love you.”

                She said, “I love you to.”

                That morning, I realized Emily and I being in a long-distance relationship would be good for when my mom’s dad comes over because she wouldn’t have to worry about him hitting on her. Then I went to Village Church to tell the kids about Legos and brought a few of my sets. They all really enjoyed it.  I drove home getting another ten minutes of driving.

                I went home and made a bracelet made from Hershey’s nugget wrappers and I realized that Emily had tilted her head in the photos I have of her which I’ve heard is a clear sign that a girl likes a guy. My mom and Dave left for Colorado that day and I ended up feeding the dogs. I went on a bike ride and took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood, a tree that looked like a Japanese floral arrangement which made me realize nature can be a really good source of creativity, and of a dead squirrel which teaches the fact of death and impermanence and I found several golf balls realizing I could use them to make oriental stress balls and those things where several balls hang next to each other on string and the one at the end hits the one next to it causing one at the other end to move which demonstrates how like Emily and I, even though the balls have several things in between them, their energy, like Emily’s and my love, goes through them and impacts the ball at the end. I talked to Emily that night and I told her, “I love you.

                She said, “I love you to.” I also learned she was born on October 17, 1991, and she has no biological siblings. I realized that she’s taught me so much in only four days and she’s also shown other signs of interest around me in the past like the way she was all giggly, and I like learning things about her. 

                The next day I went to work, and I got the schedule and found out I work on Wednesday from 7-3:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10.  I also got my paycheck and The Historical Collector’s Edition Civil Rights: The 50th Anniversary and The Media Source’s Drones: Are They Watching You. I learned that drones can save us money by replacing real cops and that made it seem like we should have the money to provide services for autistic people. I also realized that sending Emily a list I found on-line a while ago on activities for long-distance couples would be a great way to consult her on our relationship.

The next day I went to Bruce Smith and picked up a prescription and bought a new wooden yo-yo which worked better than any I’d bought in the last year. I got a picture of some flowers hanging on our door and helped Jamie and Dave move some stuff into the new studio in our basement and practiced the Sleeper yo-yo while I waited for them to be ready to move things. I rode my bike for about an hour and I took several pictures of houses in my neighborhood along my way. I got home and practiced my flute. I also talked to Tyler who said he talked to Mary, and she said she thinks Emily and I would make a great couple. 

The next Monday I drove with my mom to the library where I returned my Lonely Planet China book, getting ten more minutes of driving time, and to Whole Foods and back getting forty more minutes of driving. During the day, Emily and I texted each other back and forth.  I showed her the rose I made her, and she liked it. I also told her I was making her something, though I didn’t tell her what it was, and she said, “Youre such a sweet heart Ben.” I also called her during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.”

We started texting afterwards. She asked what I was doing, and I said I was sitting on the couch with a blanket and a Bud Lite. Then she told me she wished she was there, and I told her I did to. She asked me what we would do, and I said we could sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie, while I cook a meal, and we could cuddle on the couch, and I could kiss her until the night dies. She said, “Aww,” then asked, “Would I get a hug?” Then I said, “Of course.  Like I said I could hug you for hours doing nothing else.”

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took some pictures including some of some flowers which reminded me of Emily. I bought some lemonade at a lemonade sale where I saw my old friend from high school Curtis Wells, and we said hi and chatted a little. Then I went down to the bank and deposited my paycheck and then went to Bruce Smith and bought a 2013 edition of Magbook which was about close-up photos on a digital camera and the August/September 2013 issue of Afar. When I got back Emily asked me if I’d like to cuddle her, and I said I’d love to. She also said she’d love to lie on me while I hug her from behind.

She asked me if I wanted to be with her for a long time and I said I’d love to be with her as long as possible, maybe even forever and that I’d love to hug her from behind and kiss her lips and neck. She said, “Youre so sweet Ben.” I told her when we’re texting, I sometimes find it hard to find something to say and that I do that because when I talk to her my mind just races and I can’t think straight and I realized if we really learn to communicate, our relationship can always be exciting. Then we called during which I told her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After that we decided to just text each other. I said I was sitting on the couch like I would if we were cuddling like we talked about. She said, “Aww.” Then I said I would give a lot to cuddle her, and she said, “Aww.” I also said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you too."

The next day I went to work, and I realized I could dye some cotton balls yellow with food coloring to help me make my straw flowers and I bought some food coloring and cotton balls after work. I took several pictures on the way home and I worked on my present for Emily. We texted before I went to Winstead’s with my granddad where I got a picture of some birds on top of a dumpster then to Barnes and Noble. While I was there, I saw a man begging and thought about how so many people became homeless when Ronald Reagan cut funding for mental hospitals, proving that budget cuts are not good for our economy. Then we went to the Pathless Land, and I took a picture of some flowers by the basement door. 

I showed several people at the Pathless Land a picture of Emily and they thought she was really cute. I meditated with them sitting, breathing, and being, then scanning my Chakras and suddenly I could just see Emily in my mind’s eye very vividly. I thought the Chakra meditation could help me have lucid dreams where I saw Emily. Then I heard a woman there who talked about her complicated relationship with her deceased mother say she realized her mother loved her when she found all the letters she wrote to her mother saved and I realized that’s what I try to do with Emily’s and my texts. I also did the dedication of merit for the Pathless Land.

After class was over I realized how much Emily seemed to care about me like when I lost my yo-yo during my first year at UCM, that she may have hung around and went on vacation with Jack because she wanted to find out things about me from Jack, and when she once asked for my help on a Transition Planning II assignment she may have really been trying to hang around me. My granddad and I decided to skip going to Roasterie Coffee so I could talk to Emily, and she asked me where I would kiss her. I said I’d love to kiss her lips and mix it up and kiss her face and around her neck and shoulders. She asked me if she could touch me, and I said yes. I realized she would never just date me because she’s bored because she’s a very good friend. I also called Tyler, and we agreed to swim with Jack tomorrow at my house from 1:30 to 6. 

The next day I drove Jack and I to art class getting twenty more minutes of driving and worked on a painting. I took some pictures of some flowers and plants in the studio then drove Jack and I back to my house getting twenty more minutes of driving and we met up with Tyler. We made lunch and then we swam. Afterwards we watched TV and talked to Emily on the phone. She had to call back later because she needed to do something but before we hung up, she said, “I love you,” and I said, “I love you to.”

She called back and when we were done, I said to her, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” After Jack and Tyler left Emily and I texted back and forth. I told her, “Youre my Southern delight,” and she said, “Aww.” I realized if we were to communicate better then all I have to do is just say whatever it is I’m thinking. Then Emily asked if I thought she was pretty and I said, “Of course.  I think youre gorgeous.” She said, “Thank you,” and I said I love her blonde hair and could run my fingers through it while I cuddle her. 

I called her and found out her mom would be driving her to UCM on the way to Kansas City, and she asked me if I wanted her to come on Friday or Saturday and I said Friday so we could spend as much time together as possible. Before we hung up, I said, “I love you,” and she said, “I love you to.” She texted me later asking me if I would sit next to her at the game and hold her hand and I said, “Of course.” Then she asked me if she would get a kiss and I said, “Of course.  I love you.” I thought Emily seems to say, “Aww,” a lot, just as I say, “Of course.” Suddenly at will I could just see Emily very vividly standing next to me like in a lucid dream.

The next morning before I went to bed, I realized that a long-distance relationship has some advantages like not having to worry what you look like, and I took a test on-line called “Is Your Long-distance Relationship Rocking or in the Rocks” and I found out it was rocking. I bookmarked the results and then I went to sleep. I took several pictures in my backyard including one of the gravestone of my old dog Beau as reflection of our own mortality and I went on a bike ride taking several more pictures. Later I sorted my beads made from straws by color and size to help me make some more Buddhist malas. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Wednesday from 7-3:30, Thursday from 10-6:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10. I also packed to go to my dad’s. I went to his house, and we ate dinner at Maui’s. I also took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and found out our’s is in a good place and I read an article on the keys to a successful long-distance relationship and found out Emily and I have all those things.

             I went to work the next day, and I realized that Emily and I being a long-distance couple spares us the need to balance me time with we time. She started looking more beautiful in my eyes and I realized that if we had more services for autism, less couples with an autistic spouse would end up getting divorced and we wouldn’t have to spend the money we do on legal procedures. After work I got another issue of Bicycle magazine. The next day before I went to bed, I realized that Ronald Reagan’s budget cuts were probably just to help pay for the Cold War so he could use the Soviets as a scapegoat. I went to work later that day, and I got home and texted Emily back and forth.

Before I went to bed the next morning, I thought the Cold War really only allowed the Soviets to stay in power by making themselves look like to their citizens that they were protecting them from a big enemy like the United States. After work that day Emily and I did some more texting back and forth. I told her, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Thank you.” Then I said, “Of course.  Youre sweet and I love you.” She said, “Aww.”

I guess sometimes worrying about a relationship lasting can just take the enjoyment away from it. I took some more pictures and then Jamie, Cam, my dad, and I went to Sweet Tomatoes with my grandparents. When I got back, I realized that Reagan may have just been against the Soviet turning the Third World communist so capitalist countries would no longer be able to use them for cheap labor. I also thought about how people always said Emily is very talkative, but I remembered how when she was around me and when we talk on the phone, she seems much different. It was almost as tough she was shyer around me.

The next week I drove to my doctor’s appointment, getting twenty more minutes of driving, and got my blood drawn. When I got back, Emily and I texted each other back and forth a little more. I also found out I got a C in Essential Managing Information and Geology though I got all fours on my internship evaluation and some great comments. I drove to the bank and to Dr. May’s office to do some paperwork, getting another twenty minutes of driving, and saw an old high school friend who I agreed to get in touch with on Facebook. I drove to Village Pediatrics afterwards and turned in a form. I learned their how forms can often take so much time to process sowing me part of why American bureaucracy makes it so hard for many people with autism to get the services they need. Then I drove us to Corinth Square where we went to a bird store, Hen House, and the Hardware Store. I drove back getting ten more minutes of driving. 

When I got back Emily and I texted each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily,” though she didn’t get it because she had to go to dinner. Then I got a call from Hen House asking if I could trade my 10-6:30 shift on Thursday for her shift tomorrow from 1:30-10 and I agreed. Emily texted me after dinner around nine and I told her I would text back in five minutes before Dave asked Jamie, Cam, and I to move some iron-wrought tables and chairs back into our neighbor’s backyard. I finished this task in five minutes time by moving the table on my own while Jamie and cam took two chairs. When I got back though, Emily texted me saying she was going to bed.

The next day Emily and I texted each other back and forth after I got up. I told her again, “Youre really beautiful Emily.” She said, “Aww Thank you.” I said, “No problem.  I love you.” She said, “Love you to.”

I told her, “I can’t wait to see you again.” She said, “Me too.” I said, “I’d love to cuddle you then.” She said, “We will.” She asked if I wanted to talk on the phone and I told her to give me twenty minutes so I could get dressed and take a shower. After that I called her though she said she had to get back to work because her lunch break just ended. I told her I would call her during my lunch break.  I washed my work clothes before going to work.

During my first break I called UCM Housing and told them I couldn’t find out about my housing situation. They told me I had to go to my MyCentral account and disable the pop-ups. I thought some more about wildlife-watching, knowing there’s a wildlife group and UCM, thinking that could really help autistic people since animals don’t judge you by whether you’re autistic, neurotypical, ADD, or whatever. Soon my lunch break came, and I called Emily, but she wasn’t there, so I just enjoyed the rest of my lunch break to myself. After work I got a Fall 2013 issue of Do It Yourself magazine.

I went to work the next day, and I filled out a request form for my doctor’s appointment next Monday. After work I took pictures of some trees, inspired by the baobob trees in my Lonely Planet Madagascar book and I worked on my flowers made from straws. I texted Emily back and forth and I went to my dad’s. Emily told me to say hi to Jamie and my dad for her and I did. Then we went to Five Guy’s where I brought the rose I made for Emily in my pocket and when I got back Emily and I kept texting each other back and forth. I told her, “I love you Emily.” She said, “I love you to.” I told her, “I cant believe its been two weeks since we started dating.” She said, “Aww.” I told her, “Im glad we met each other.” She said, “Me too.” Then I said, “I love texting you.  Its like Im earing your voice in the same room.” She said, “Aww.” I said, “Your such a beautiful girl Emily.” She said, “Thank you Youre such a handsome guy.” I said, “Thank you,” and she said, “Your welcome.”

As I was getting ready to go back to my mom’s however, I noticed the rose wasn’t in my pocket.  I asked my dad for the keys to his car and noticed they weren’t in there. I realized it must have fallen out at the restaurant and felt crushed. But then I thought it was alright because Emily always cared about me when I was upset like this and someone else might find it, thinking about how the Buddha once said, a candle can light a thousand candles without its flame being extinguished. Happiness and love do not become smaller by sharing them with others. I got home and made another rose for Emily. We said goodnight to each other before she went to bed, and I realized more how in each one of her texts she sounds just like herself.

The next morning, I dreamt that the friend I saw at Dr. May’s office and his girlfriend were on a double date with Emily and me. After waking up, doing my meditation, showering, dressing, and eating, I drove to art class getting ten more minutes of driving. This time I got most of my canvas blocked in and I took some pictures of some knick-knacks at the studio. After I got home, I rode my bike for about fifteen minutes and took pictures of some things I saw on the ride. I came back because it looked like it was about to start raining and I texted Emily, thinking it would be romantic to text her in the rain, though she accidentally sent me a wrong text. Later that night I realized some more of how I could arrange my ikebana flowers so they look great.

The next day I rode my bike for about an hour and took several more pictures. I realized that hanging origami hearts from a stick is kind of like ikebana since the hearts are kind of like buds. I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck. On the way back I took even more pictures. I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 7-3:30, Tuesday from 3-10, and Thursday from 10-6:30. I also called Erin, and we agreed to get together on Friday. 

I went to work the next day and found out Phil added me to the schedule for Saturday from 11-7:30. I texted Emily during my break though she didn’t text back. I did however remember this article on girls with autism and how even if they like a guy, they might not necessarily respond to their attempts to stay in touch and thought that could be true for her to. I thought if we provided the right services for people with autism, they might be less likely to use drugs and abuse alcohol, and we wouldn’t need to spend so much money locking them up for that. I saw Jack and his dad come in later, and it was a nice surprise, and I realized this must be what surprising a long-distance partner feels like. After work I realized I could use those stencils from my Scythian metal-working kit to make foil statues and I took a quiz on Emily’s and my long-distance relationship and got an 18.0 out of 20.0.

The next day I went to work and realized that if people think integrated education would mean their abled child wouldn’t get enough attention, ten it would seem odd that they could be in favor of budget cuts in education which are causing class sizes to be much larger. To me, I realized, it doesn’t matter whether Emily isn’t someone with autism or not because my world is beyond labels. After work I took some more pictures of things like flowers and trees and I thought Emily’s pone might be too full to receive any more texts and while she and I might like doing different things but I guess the reason we both do our things is because we both want to relax like how I read in Relax, You’re Already Home: Taoist Habits for a Richer Life says to find activities in your life that help you relax. I also heard Mary broke up with Tyler which I guess was because she’s so focused on going back to school.

A Fourth of July with Family

On the first day of July my mom told me as I came down after waking up that she was worried about my coughing and sneezing. I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck and then I bought copy of Life magazine’s Wonders of the World: 50 Man-made and Natural Marvels and National Geographic’s The Civil War: The Conflict that Changed America. After that I got a call from my mom saying she wanted to take me to Village Pediatrics to do something about my cold and I drove there and went to an appointment. On the way back we went by Corinth Hen House, and I got Life magazine’s Remembering Katharine Hepburn and BBC’s The American Civil War: The Causes, Key Events, and Legacy of this Landmark Conflict as Told by the World’s Leading Experts. When I got back took a pill for my cold and I disassembled the legs of my table for UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group cable holders and replaced them with the straighter legs made from paper towel rolls and worked on a bowl made from coiled receipts. I also thought I’ll know when I meet a girl I’m in love with after I get to know her first. 

                I felt much better, and I worked on my travel plans to Mongolia. I rode my bike for about half an hour and I took some pictures of things I saw on my ride, including a dead squirrel as it can teach us about our own mortality. On Wednesday I remembered how when I was at the Kansas Legislature representing people with autism how my friend and colleague Elizabeth Boresow said her trouble receiving the right services had to do with government bureaucracy as I had always believed. I went to work the next day and after it was over I got the current issue of Native magazine. Then I went to my family house in Lake Lotawana with Jamie, Cam, and Nora for the first time this summer and I met up with my dad, Uncle Todd, Aunt Laura, and my cousins, Abby and Eric. 

                I got several pictures of the neighbor’s cat and the knick-knacks around our house then we went to eat at the Canoe Club that night before Jamie, Cam, and I went back to my mom’s. The next day I went to the lake with Jamie, Cam, and Nora, and met my dad, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. We went on a boat ride and when I got back, I called my friend Erin and wished her a happy Fourth of July though our phone got disconnected. I also texted Maddie, Jack, Elizabeth, and Tyler to wish them a happy Fourth of July. I got some pictures of the fireworks and played catch with my nephew Eli before we had our traditional hot dogs and burgers followed by Fourth of July cake with white icing, blueberries, and strawberries and then we watched the fireworks show.

                When we got back to my mom’s I watched an episode of Good Luck, Charlie and was able to see more of how the plot developed which I took to mean I’m becoming more of a screenwriter. I also worked on my bowl made from coiled receipts. The next day I emptied my laundry basket before I worked on my travel plans to Nepal. I took pictures of some knick-knacks around our house, and I went to the lake with Jamie, Cam, and Nora. I went on a boat ride with my dad, Jamie, Cam, Nora, Abby, and Eric and took several pictures of Lake Lotawana during it. Jamie, Cam, Nora, and I got back and called Erin and apologized for the phone disconnection though she said it was alright, and I worked on my bowl made from coiled receipts.

                The next day I went to Peanut with Jamie and my dad while Cam had to work and when I got back to my dad’s I saw a publication on my bed. Then I went to work, and I got the schedule and found out I work the next day from 10-6:30, Wednesday from 7-3:30, and Saturday from 1:30-10. When I got back, I called Tyler and told him I hoped he had a happy Fourth of July and found out he was doing good. I also found out the publication on my bed was Tulane, my dad’s alma matter, with a cover story called Passage of the Heart about how the Social Work school of Tulane was partnering with the Louisiana Himalaya Association to help the Tibetan refugee communities of India so the students could gain professional experience. A passage at the beginning of the article said, “It’s been said learning is a journey; and like a true journey, if you knew the end before you got there, it would not be a real journey would it.” I went to work the next day and I realized my group should help encourage autistic people to disclose their disability to their employer thus affecting their chances of job retention/promotion and raising tax revenue and continuing to strangle any government excuse for not providing autistic people with services they need and that as a magazine collector I could probably find UCM magazines that they give out for free with things I find interesting like Buddhist-related events. After work I drove home adding ten more minutes to my driving time and I worked on my travel plans to Tibet and my bowl made from coiled receipts.

               

Some Pesky Room Remodeling

I went to work the next day and got a new Sweet Leaf Tea bottle cap on my two breaks and my lunch break.  After work I got a Vikings: Their Myths and Legends Events bookazine. The next day I went to work and learned a little more about doing ikebana on-line. Apparently, there are three primary vertical lines I guess each representing the hierarchies of the ancient cosmos: heaven, earth, and man. I also realized that the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group could be a great place for autistic students to tell people about projects and goals of theirs remembering one time in high school when a student told the school at an assembly about his tsunami relief project. I also got a June/July 2013 issue of Saveur magazine after work. The next day while at work I came up with an idea for giving out certain prizes for getting people to sign the Friend of Autism Pledge, one for one person, another for five people, and another for ten people. 

              After work I went to the Pathless Land with my granddad and after I got home, I moved my books from Jamie’s bed into the bedroom in Kate’s old room. The next day I went to art class with Jack and drove back from his house afterwards, realizing I might get use to driving by doing it even when I don’t feel comfortable doing it. After I got home, I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck, and then I went to Bruce Smith and bought a June/July 2013 issue of Afar magazine, a June/July 2013 issue of National Geographic Traveler, and a July/August 2013 issue of Archaeology magazine. I got home and I emptied my laundry basket and my duffle bag, and I took my pallet paper out of my mom’s car. Then my mom and I went to the airport and picked up Jamie.

              The next day I went to work and on Saturday I was able to see how an episode of Austin and Ally where Austin’s attempt to gain his shy friend Ally recognition by putting her song on the radio backfired and I took it to mean I’m becoming more of a screenwriter. Later I pulled the weeds for my mom for half an hour, and she agreed to pay me $7.50, half an hourly pay for weed-pulling and I worked on my flowers made from straws. I went to work the next day and afterwards I met up with Jamie, Cam, my dad, grandmom, and granddad at BRGR. 

The next Tuesday I got my new THRIVE certificate in the mail and I went to work. During my breaks I took my receipts and turned them into origami hearts in order to recycle them. Afterwards I got Time magazine’s Gettysburg: A Day-to-Day Account of the Greatest Battle of the Civil War. When I got home, I saw some bunnies in our back yard, and I got some pictures of them.  The next day I went to work and made some more origami receipts during my breaks. On my way back I stopped by the library, and I looked at a book on Cape Town and the Garden Route in South Africa where I learned about a museum of South African Jewish history with a section on the Holocaust and several sites associated with slavery. I also checked out the book on Mongolia. When I got home, I read in the book we were reading at the Pathless Land After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Buddhist author Jack Kornfield about how Buddhist teacher Ajahn Chan said if he acted perfect people would make the mistake of looking for enlightenment outside of themselves and it reminded me of Chogyam Trungpa’s drinking and sexual affairs. I also read a quote by Zen Buddhist teacher Shunryu Suzuki about how there are no enlightened people, just enlightened activity.

I went to Barnes and Noble with my granddad and got a June 2013 issue of The New African, a July 2013 issue of Shambhala Sun, and a Summer 2013 issue of Buddhadharma. I realized that my collection of Buddhadharma and Shambhala Sun magazines could help me feel close to the teachings of Shambhala Buddhism and I went to the Pathless Land with my granddad. I did the dedication of merit for them at the end and on the way to Roasterie, I read about a book in Shambhala Sun called No Ordinary Apple: A Story of Mindful Eating which I realized could help me eat slower. We went to Roasterie Coffee. The next day I drove to my art class with Jack adding twenty more minutes to my time and drove back adding another twenty minutes. I drove to an art show where Donna’s work was displayed adding forty more minutes and back adding another forty minutes.

The next day I worked on my travel plans to Mongolia and I packed for my dad’s. I drove my mom to PetCo, a woman’s house, and then Hen House adding twenty more minutes to my driving time. After work I went to my dad’s, and I made some origami hearts from receipts. When I got back, I learned on my Lonely Planet book on Mongolia book about a retreat where people can learn about photography and wildlife poetry. The next day I went to Peanut with my dad and Jamie for brunch, worked on my travel pans to Mongolia, then went to Blue Koi with Jamie, Cam, my dad, my grandmom, and my granddad for dinner where I got some cartoon pictures of them and regular pictures of the inside of the restaurant. 

The next day I went to work again, and I made some more origami hearts from receipts during my first break. Later while I was working a thought occurred to me. People like Tyler and others on disability benefits should be allowed to make as much money as they can because no one should have to pay more to enjoy equal access to society. It would be like rich people having to pay to send their children to public schools and it decrease the amount of tax revenue we have making it harder to provide services to people especially people with disabilities. Later I traded shifts with Keuni from work and agreed to work from 8-4:30 on Tuesday. I worked on my hiking stick after work, and I realized that people with autism may be mistaken for gay or asexual because their interests are not always things people associate with their gender. I also carved a knife and worked on my ikebana flowers made from straws.

On Monday I went to work and afterwards I made some more origami hearts, worked on my flowers made from straws, and carved some more knives from wood. I put my ikebana flowers in a Pringles can vase covered with Tibetan tiger stripe designs, and I took the last of my bookshelves up to my room then I put my books on it. I rode my bike for about an hour and I decided to make the petals of my straw flowers look better by making them shorter. I also thought my phone’s battery was dead when it wouldn’t charge, and my mom and I agreed to go to the Verizon store after work. I was able to see more of how an episode of A.N.T. Farm developed which I took to mean I’m becoming more of a screenwriter. I also put the magazines on the bookshelf I first brought in on the bed in Cate’s old room until the new bookshelf beneath it. 

The next day I went to work, and I decided for every one person someone gets to sign The Friend of Autism Pledge we would give away a bottle cap pendant, earrings, bracelet, or magnet; for five people we would give away a toilet paper roll cord holder; for ten people we would give away a Pringles can pencil cup or piggy bank all of them with neurodiversity themes. After work my mom and I drove to Einstein’s, then the Verizon store where for four dollars they were able to tell me that my charger had dust in it and that’s why it wouldn’t charge. I let my mom pay me $3.50 for my weed pulling because she paid for the phone service. I drove us home after we went to Target getting twenty more minutes for the ride there and back. Then I went to Winstead’s with my granddad and got a copy the current issues of Mindful and Ancient American. Then we went to the Pathless Land and did the chakra meditation with the others. I told them about my miksang photography and at the end of our session I did the dedication of merit. I also wrote down the name miksang photography for Steve on his phone. After I got home read in my Lonely Planet Mongolia book about a museum for the victims of Stalin’s purge and I saw an article in Mindful about Gettysburg. I remembered a story I read in Wisdom’s Blossoms: Tales of the Saints of India about this Hindu servant who wanted to visit an important pilgrimage site and achieved it through his hard work and that inspired me to really perform well at my job and maybe one day travel to the places I want to go to.

The next day I put my magazines, CDs, journals, coin collection, sword, shells, fossils, and bottle rocket on my book shelf and I rode my bike for about thirty-five minutes but came back when I saw it was starting to rain. Then I made some better flowers for my ikebana arrangement, and I read on-line that ikebana can be made not only from flowers but also dry wood, tree roots and branches, stones, pebbles, straws, seed berries, and even modern plastic and my collection of mani stones is kind of like ikebana. The next day I went to work and while I was there the thought occurred to me that the lack of economic freedom for people with disability benefits probably creates the need for so much paper work, costing our government a lot of money that it could use to provide services for people with disabilities like autism. I drove home adding ten more minutes to my driving time and my night driving time. I went to work the next day, and, on my way, I realized I could get started on my toilet paper roll cable holders for the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group by taking apart the legs made from toilet paper rolls, which were crooked and sort of unsightly, I used for the table I made and replace them with legs I made from paper towel rolls I made which were much straighter. I also went to work the next day.

Getting a Driver's Permit

               On the first day of June I went to work and got the schedule which said I work the next day from 7-1:30, Monday from 8:30-1, Wednesday from 10-5:30, Thursday from 3-7:30, and Saturday from 3-7:30. I also found out the schedule had been changed so I worked from 3-7:30. I went home and slept for another hour and after I woke up, I carved a banana from a stick. I went to work later that day, and I realized that the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups should help autistic people find better employment thus raising tax revenue until eventually the government will have no excuse for not providing autistic people services made hard to find by government bureaucracy.          

               The next day when I went into work Phil told me the schedule changed again so I didn’t work until 1:30-10, and I used the time I had to sleep in some more. Before I went to work, I went to the Prairie Village Art Fair where I saw several good photographs which inspired me to keep doing my photography.  I also picked up something for my mom from RSVP. Later on, I went to work.

                On Monday I went to work and on my way back I got a Lonely Planet book on China with a section on Tibet and when I got home, I rode my bike for about an hour. The next day I found some good Tibetan Buddhist pilgrimage sites in Inner Mongolia (not to be confused with the country Mongolia), Yunnan, and Beijing and some good cycling and rafting places in China. I went to my appointment with Dr. Mays, and I got some cookies, eggs, ice cream, and cheez-its at the Prairie Village Hen House near my neighborhood. On my way back I saw several ducks in the creek nearby and got a good picture of them and I realized my Buddhist practice of miksang photography, taking pictures of things when you have a fresh perception, might go well with my pictures I do when I do birdwatching and wildlife-watching. I later took some pictures of flowers in my mom’s garden, and my mom and I agreed to go take my test to renew my driver’s permit on Thursday, which was a little nerve-racking to me. Later I heard my granddad say when I talked to him on the phone that he found another issue of Smithsonian from this year that he wanted to give me and the story of how he found it which he took as a sign that the universe wanted me to have it. 

                I went to work the next day, and I saw that the store was selling a National Geographic special issue called Mysteries of the Maya and a Time magazine special issue called Special Ops. I got a new USDA cap on my first break and saw a coffee drink near the snack section that had a cap like those in Frappuccino’s that I could add to my bottle cap collection. My granddad picked me up and when I talked to him he told me something that made me realize how the trouble autistic people have finding services in a whole bunch of government bureaucracy when he said that for impoverished people to get a free meal from this charity in Lee Summit there was a lot of paper work that asked everything from the name, race, and so on about the person getting it which costs so much money. He also said that next time I went until 5:30 he could just pick me up and take me home from work so I could get changed. 

                I meditated with the others at the Pathless Land on how I came to “the path,” what my view of enlightenment was then, and how it’s changed. I guess after being engorged in Tolkien’s Middle Earth, the remote Eastern feeling that I once associated with Buddhism felt so familiar to me and its peacefulness appealed to me while my friends fought in my middle school years. I heard one woman there who was a regular member for years say that she was brought there after she found out her husband had Alzheimer’s which made me realize how important it is to appreciate your time with the person you love. I also realized that pictures on food and drink, like I get at Roasterie Coffee with Granddad, would be a great subject for my miksang photography as they are like Tibetan Buddhist mandalas-art that’s impermanent. After the Pathless Land, my granddad and I went down to Roasterie Coffee where I got some pictures of my brownie and my smoothie and as we drove back home, me feeling a little nervous about my driver’s permit test, I remembered a line in a song by Ross Lynch from the Disney Channel’s Austin and Ally, which I saw with Tyler quite a lot, “It’s just a journey/and I’m not in any hurry.”

                My granddad took me home and gave me the Smithsonian issue he found which turned out to be the travel issue with some good articles on Africa. I remembered then what my Granddad said about how he thought the universe wanted him to find it. I watched an episode of Corey in the House that night, at the time when it was Tyler’s and my time to watch Wizards of Waverly Place and at the end of it the president of the United States said to Corey, “If you believe in yourself, things will get better.” I also remembered my mom told me a story about a girl with a learning disability who was able to pass the test taking it on a computer.

                The next day my mom and I went to the DVM, packed to bursting and found out it would be about four hours before I could take me test. I went home and rested a little and after about five hours plus I was finally able to take my test.  I took the eye test and got my permit picture taken. Unfortunately, the computer on which I was to take it went down, and it would be a while before they could get back on. I had no other choice but to take the test on paper. 

                I turned the test in a few minutes later and a woman at the counter graded it. She circled five questions and wrote -5 on the paper. I asked, “Does this mean I pass?”

                “Yes,” she said.

                I practically jumped for joy.

                “I passed!” I kept exclaiming for the next hour and a half.

                I went home to change into my work clothes and then my mom and I went to Culver’s Butter Burgers to celebrate. Then I went to work and got the bottle cap from that drink I saw during my break. Unfortunately, I found out those drinks, Real Coco Aloe, weren’t coffee drinks but some kind of drinks made from kelp or something judging by their taste, and I quickly got a soda from the machine in the break room to wash the taste down. That is ok, I thought. Part of the fun of bottle cap collecting I’ve learned is getting to try all sorts of new drinks.

                The next day my mom told me about this exhibit called Trash into Treasure with recycled artwork from a guy named Just Colcord on display at the Toy and Miniature Museum over the next two days. Later I deposited my paychecks though I took a little out for myself and I returned my Lonely Planet books on Mongolia and South Africa, Swaziland, and Lesotho to the library when they were due and I got National Geographic’s Mysteries of the Maya, Time magazine’s Special Ops, and the newest issue of National Geographic which I thought I’d start collecting to. I picked up a prescription at Bruce Smith where I saw the issues of National Geographic Traveler and Afar which made me realize travel would be a good place for miksang photography. I took some pictures of some ducks as I went back home and then I called work and found out I work on Sunday from 10-6:30, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 11-7:30, and Friday from 2-10:30. Then I packed for Dad’s and we ate at Mia Ranchito in Overland Park and I practiced driving with him in a parking lot and did pretty well. We also agreed to go to Trash into Treasure.

                I went to the exhibit with my dad and grandmom and introduced myself to Just Colcord and told him about my recycled crafts projects, which he thought were pretty interesting. I saw wands that he’d whittled, and I saw some of his animated films which he made with figurines he made from repurposed trash. Later we went to Spin Pizza and when I got home, I worked on my travel plans to Inner Mongolia. After that I went to work, and I got a new Sweet Leaf Tea cap from my drinks on one of my breaks. Afterwards I went to Homer’s where I got a new Nantucket cap from my drink. I also decided I might travel to Uyghurstan with its Silk Road towns since the Silk Road helped the spread of Buddhism. I read at Homer’s coffee shop my Lonely Planet book and found several Buddhist sites, places that sell fruits and ethnic musical instruments, and a museum with the Caucasian mummies that outraged the Chinese government since they were obviously not Chinese but could have been European and may have helped Buddhism spread into pre-Christian Europe. While I was there listening to the live music, I realized I could practice “mindful music listening” by being transformed by the songs you hear.

The next morning before I went to sleep, I realized that finding your purpose in life makes life feel a lot easier and therefore the UCM and JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Groups should help make life easier for many people with autism.  I went to work that day, and I realized that “mindful music listening” can help you learn a person’s story and a little bit about the story of the people who listen to them. I got three new Sweet Leaf Tea caps from my drinks during my breaks and when I got home my mom offered to pay me to pull weeds from the patio and I agreed to take it. I got some sticks to carve after that and then I got home and carved some of them into wands. My granddad also agreed to pick me up after work on Wednesday and he’d bring me some Winstead’s to-go and then we’d go to the Pathless Land. 
             The next day I went to work and got a new Sweet Leaf Tea cap during my break, and I realized that me leading the UCM Autism Spectrum Support Group demonstrates to people what a person with autism can do. I got back home, and my mom offered to pay me for pulling weeds out of the backyard.  I also realized that mindful music listening can help you connect with people like a lover, when listening to their type of music.